
izzy's playlists!

shark vs the universe
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Janaina Medeiros
we're not kids anymore.

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Sweet Seals For You, Always
noise dept.

#extradirty

Kiana Khansmith
macklin celebrini has autism

Love Begins
styofa doing anything

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Today's Document
Cosimo Galluzzi
trying on a metaphor
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
seen from Türkiye
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@strange084

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I have my exam tomorrow. I feel prepared. I have solved many questions and revised formulas many times and I have a good feeling that what I've studied will definitely come in the exams. I have been getting good marks in mock tests. And I have analysed the test series wherever I made mistakes and revised the formulas and methods to solve questions.
I am here to record my thoughts before the exam and my decisions regardless of the results. I have made many mistakes throughout this journey and have learned from them. But I have also dwelled too much on negative thoughts for a long amount of time and suffered consequences of my attachments. I understand that I should take responsibility for my life and my decisions. And that I should live my life as per a set of values and codes, regardless of where it suits others or not. I couldn't escape negative thoughts for a long time, and it wasted a lot of my time and I wasted a lot of my time by not being proactive. And taking care of my needs and responsibilities.
I will give my best in the exam tomorrow. I will take the paper without any judgments. I will attempt the paper with confidence. And I will not fear anything and continue to live my life as a good man, responsible for his life and decisions. I will continue to study and work towards my goals. And not get distracted by intrusive thoughts and my environment. I will not let the negative thoughts win over me. And I will not do anything that doesn't suit the character I want to build.
I am disciplined, determined and going to win this fight.
I am entering a new phase in my life. I feel a shift is about to happen. I will experience something beyond my wildest imagination. This phase will require me to reinvent myself. I just have to be prepared for it.

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What I just realized is that, behind many of our fears and shadow's aspects, self sabotaging, self gaslighting, loneliness, and unmet needs in the past, hides a severe lack of self confidence: we don't feel good enough to give ourselves back, to receive, to work for our dreams/goals, and we don't trust our own intuition/guts. We're so scared by our old habits, our shadows, and so convinced we are always wrong and unlikable/unlovable, too weird and unacceptable, that we really do not trust us on so many different levels. We cannot move from where we are. That's also why we keep "failing".
It's our unconscious self yelling we need to heal that side of us. Cause many things start changing when we start believing in our abilities and possibilities much more. When we believe in ourselves. It's likely that the way we were raised (by our intergenerationally traumatized parents/caregivers) taught us, sometimes unwillingly, that we're the total opposite of who we really are and what we're really able to do. And now it's time to find that out. To discover who we really are inside and become more aware of our real personal worth. And it's there, in everyone of us. Nobody is born without worth.
I am going to begin the journey towards building my character necessary for removing fear and accomplishing goals for the next 78 days. Even after knowing the things that were wrong, noting them down, reading them from time to time, still I made some mistakes again. Something must be the matter, and something that's wrong with me and the way I responded to things going on in my life at that time. I can only try. Working towards good habits and breaking the bad ones. I need to move quickly now so I will just abandon anything that's not the part of the character I want to build and how I want to see myself as after these 78 days. I have forgiven myself and everyone else in my life, as I can see I've still been blaming or maybe being angry at how things came to be with some people in my life, but no one cares about that and neither should I and move forward. I am feeling confident in myself and I will achieve something good. I will become the person I want to be at the end of this year.
Why do you 'fail'?
Short answer: because you give up the desired state of mind (aka: belief) and go back to your "confort zone" where you cultivate your old patterns of thoughts and feelings.
Have you noticed how, when you start any LOA method how you feel full of excitment, all happy and almost blissful? Because in that moment, even if it may be a short one: you understand your power and you use it! ... and often, after a day or two you feel low again and forget it. And then you re-start the old habitual loop: may it be seeking a "new miracle" method or a new miracle book or a guru.
This habit is in fact you giving up your own power and subconsciously it is telling "it must be some other way because that way that I have will not work". The fact is that almost all ways work if you just stick to one and refuse to shift your energy back to negative, old, habitual one. YOU HAVE TO STICK TO IT! You have to use the power of will and refuse to give up: NO MATTER WHAT YOUR MIND WILL MAKE AS EXCUSE! Because the mind is very good at that, very convincing! Because it is the old habitual state of mind (belief) protecting itself.
No matter what proof/evidence your mind shows you and say "stop it" or "change it" or read another book, or "find something else"... jus't dont!! The mind makes the same excuses when you meditate: it will make all its possible to make you think or do something while you try to meditate. LEARN TO DIRECT YOUR MIND. Do the method for as long days you decided to do! After a month in general it will become automatic. Your desired state will be "normal" and effortless.
If you start a new method or if you have already started one (mine or from neville or abraham or anyone...) do it fully for a month at least! Even if the method is incorrect/bad (and probably it is not) at least you will build an habit of determination.
YOU DONT NEED A NEW BOOK, YOU DONT NEED A NEW COURSE, YOU DONT NEED A NEW TEACHER, YOU DONT NEED A NEW METHOD YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW TO MANIFEST WHAT YOU WANT: YOU NEED TO PRACTICE WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW WITHOUT CHANGING THE DIRECTION OF the MIND EVERY SING DAY.
chose a goal/state of mind
chose a method/technique to accomplish that goal
the mind will fight to make you stop it or change it, or seek something else
just ignore it and refocus and remember why you started the practice: remember that you cannot fail if you follow the method
keep doing it, keep strong, keep ignoring everything that is opposite to your goal even if you feel like it doesnt work
you have gave up here or
the new state of mind feels natural
goal accomplished.
ps: don't take this strictly as a rule, but your effort will look something like that. The key is to not let your mind convince you that only the actual reality is "reality". Thats only the old state of mind protecting its own life and survival. And no matter what evidence is there to support it: understand that it is created by the old state of minde: the new evidence and new reality will be there after the step 8 (as said above)
cr:Allismind

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Willing to move in this direction
Sometimes you want to get it right so bad, you end up doing things wrong. You overdo it. You overthink. You burn out. But it's okay, you can try again, this time focusing less on being perfect and more on being good enough. Progression, not perfection. Setbacks can help you go forward. You have learned and nothing was in vain 🌱🌿💐🌷🪴
I have been working towards a goal for some time, but I think only recently I got very serious about it. I did something a few days ago that helped me understand some things better. I made a list of everything that was wrong before, and why I was not able to perform well, and the result was shocking as I noted down almost 15 things in my life that were seriously wrong, I didn't know whether to feel sympathy or anger towards myself. And I also noted that some things that I had started but gave up too quickly, would have led to better situations.
I just feel like I was living very dishonestly too much and didn't want to get out of my fake comfortable life, and kept constantly getting hurt by people in my life because of that or kept hurting. But I am feeling bad that this year I hesitated to take the right steps towards my improvement, just because it didn't look good on my social image, could say the remains of my fake lifestyle. I couldn't let go of that for a few months. I still don't know how much of that I left in me but I feel disappointed in myself sometimes when I repeat the same things here and there on occasions. I kept talking to the same people, the same way I always used to, like putting myself down and talking about myself in a negative tone and accepting condescending behaviour.
For the last 5-7 months this further damaged my healing process but I confess that I myself didn't try that hard to get better I think. And kept making the same mistakes a lot. I really don't understand one specific reason as to why I kept doing that, several come to mind, and I get a mess in my mind and go into spiralling self negativity. Things have gotten better and they will continue to get better, that I believe. But I just learned to love myself more, or maybe this is the only time where I have been taking self care and understanding as a top priority instead of anyone else's opinions or getting bothered by others'behaviours. I believe that I may have done too much overthinking and made myself too anxious by thinking of false scenarios ahead, or just replaying things in my head again and again when something went wrong, and kept talking to myself in the most negative way. But I'm changing that now.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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When you are at your weakest. When fear and doubt are a burden too heavy to bear. Remember! You are not alone.
Watched the whole cinematic of God of War 4. Never played it or the previous games. The journey of Kratos and Atreus and their relationship taught me a lot and helped me get out of the bad depression phase when I started thinking too low of myself and constantly doubted myself. I can see myself getting better after working for a couple of months, still making some same mistakes, but I am going to only improve further. Going to compile all the lessons taught to Atreus by Kratos in another post.