Dionysus

sorry yeah, you're actually not allowed in the grocery store anymore. yeah, everyone thought it was super weird when you were rummaging in your wallet for your debit card and it was making everyone super uncomfortable and taking a long time. sorry

maybe if men touched each other gently more often like women do, they wouldn’t be so grouchy all the time

kicked out of the blunt rotation for going “w-wait!!! but this is like…. an indirect kiss?!?!? uwaaa!!! >//A//< ”

Stop memorizing my attack patterns. That's fucked up. Who let you do that.

Mother fucker. You know what? I'm entering my second phase. Have fun with the choir arrangement of my theme ass hole.

hey um i’ve got some bad news. we mulled your boyfriend. he fell in the wine and we mulled him. yeah with the cinnamon sticks.

(when she says she likes to be degraded) you are dust and to dust you shall return

Yo mama so slenderman i have to collect 8 pages in rhe forest

The haters try to put me in a crate at night

baby girl your speech patterns make no sense. im in love with you

the flight is delayed because we are letting two men have passionate gay sex on the plane for pride month

men invest in large pickup trucks to make themselves look smaller and cuter in comparison