last podcast on the left sentence starters, pt 7
↪ taken from various episodes. alter as you see fit. trigger warnings for death, blood mentions, murder
“i can’t get hard any more and she said her pussy was real cold.”
“i don’t mean to sound sophomoric here …”
“never leave your shoes lying around a canadian doctor.”
“i don’t know why i’m talking.”
“what are you TALKING about?”
“you are slowly turning into fred willard.”
“’romantic’ doesn’t just mean ‘fucking’.”
“chuck norris is a piece of shit.”
“i’m gonna be kicking. if you happen to be standing where i’m kicking, you’re gonna get kicked. that’s ‘kick maths’.”
“i’ve seen ‘donnie darko’; i know how it goes!”
“you would look like such a big, drunk, screaming cannoli in a corset.”
“he’s just throwing things over his shoulder like he’s johnny appleseed, but instead it’s fucking fingers and toes!”
“seriously, you cannot go to oregon, [name].”
“it’s factually inaccurate, [name]!”
“‘hobbit level friendship’ includes two or three kisses a month.”
“I’M GAY! YOU KNEW IT! I’M SUPER GAY ABOUT IT, OKAY? I AM GAY AS HELL!”
“that’s the eighth step in grief that we never talk about.”
“that is a very talented penis you have there.”
“this is me trying to impress god with my commitment to ‘sparkle motion’.”
“mars is the only planet populated by robots.”
“all you do is make money when you gamble”
“i watched him make a nose literally out of a pile of donuts.”
“we won a war so i don’t have to say this right.”
“time is real, ageing is a process, and i don’t like it.”
“there is a venn diagram.”
“the confessional was a gore-filled death box.”
“it’s like the exorcist 3!”
“i’ve got donner party gravestones in my office.”
“that is not your story; that is halle berry’s.”
“it’s chilli day today in the coast guard.”
“that’s an indictment of your overall character.”
“i’m actually still pretty hungry.”
“what the fuck do you want?”
“you’re clap trapping me!”
“what the hell is ‘cuphead’?!”
“spoken like a man who grew up in a home that stole cable.”
“lean into crazy. listen to crazy. say ‘oh my god, you’re right, let me uber you where you need to go’.”
“you don’t marry [name] without knowing things are gonna get a little unpredictable.”
“they’re gonna be late to the true crime wave.”
“you guys got a problem.”
“[name], i don’t want your life!”
“you can’t come home until you kill someone.”
“he sounds like the 18th most popular candidate for libertarian.”
“this 7/11 cup is my vice-president.”
“he seems … yeah. whatever.”
“why do i miss charles manson?”
“he is a bad person and a villain.”
