Shit To Look At While Stoned

MANSFIELD, MA—Increasingly anxious at the distance between the lead vocalist and center stage, concertgoers told reporters Tuesday that they were worried Incubus frontman Brandon Boyd might not make it back to the microphone in time for the third chorus of “Wish You Were Here.” “Wow, he’s cutting it really close—there’s only a few measures left, and he’s still over there grooving with [drummer] José [Pasillas],” said fan Sam Clarkson, nervously wondering if perhaps Boyd was planning to sprint back at the last second, or if a stagehand might save the day by tossing him a wireless mic. “Oh no, now he’s climbing onto an amp. I mean, he knows the chorus is coming, right? What’s the fucking the plan here?” At press time, all the instruments had dropped out except for the bass guitar, allowing a relieved audience to sing the chorus themselves.