more desperately than romantically

2. Javadi and Whitaker share a look, and Mel catches it, which makes her wonder if there have been times when she hasn’t.

She's been talking for a while, and sure, she's talking fast, and yeah, her hands are twisting - and Javadi's eyes slide to Whitaker and Whitaker's eyebrows go up, just a little.

Mel knows what that means. 

3. She’d thought she might have better luck with Cassie, who is always nice to her.

But: "Oh - no, I can't," she says, before Mel has even finished asking if she’d like to go check out that new bookstore across the street. "I've got Harrison."

"Right," Mel says. "Of course."

"Rain check," Cassie says, and she squeezes Mel's arm on her way past.

Cassie does have a kid. That's a real reason. It's just that the no came so fast.

4. Robby comes back from sabbatical smiling and saying good morning to everyone, and Mel is glad to see him. 

But he’s more closed off than before, somehow. She tells him about the most interesting case she worked while he was gone but his eyes are somewhere beyond her and he doesn’t react to the parts of the story that she thought he would. 

She trails off and he claps her on the shoulder and says, "Good stuff.”

5. Frank has been getting happier every day.

It’s not, like, completely linear - he still gets frustrated sometimes, and he really doesn’t enjoy a few of the people they work with, but all things considered his mood has been trending upwards. 

They’re at the lockers and she’s taking her hair down. She's talking and he’s really listening, laughing and frowning in turn at all the right bits. She combs her fingers through her braid, and then fiddles with her hair tie after it’s all come loose.

"Hey," he says, looking at the maroon elastic between her fingers. "Could I have that? Sorry. That's weird. I just-“

"Sure," she says. He used to wear a black one on his wrist, for a few weeks after he came back to work, but he must have lost it. She would have given him one of hers sooner, if he’d asked.

She hands it over, and he just holds it for a second. Then he slips it onto his wrist and pushes it up, snug against his black beaded bracelet.

So the name of the game with this one is me fixating on McKay specifically telling Javadi to present to Langdon specifically, and then exploring the Why of that which is where the other elements come in/that is the road they all tie back to. All roads lead to 'present to Dr. Langdon' and that is because: Langdon is the (self?)-appointed Med student/junior resident wrangler in The Pitt.

Okay listen I'm about to be SO annoying about this set (by which I mean: I'm about to make a bunch of commentary based on my own #RelevantPersonalExperience lol) But I have actually done more shadowing/observing than the average bear in my time (both as a Youth - I think I started around 13/14? (veterinary medicine is HELLA competitive and they want you to have as much experience as possible so you know what you're getting into) and into my adult years when I pursued a teaching degree and they make you: go shadow actual teachers to learn about teaching) so I got #OPINIONS about this shit.

So whis may seem a lil disjointed/random-is: you must trust me and my Vision - t'will all come together/make sense in a moment as I explain. There's a lot of things to love about this little series, I promise:

1)- Cassie telling Javadi to present specifically to Langdon is:

This is #significant, or at least it is in my experience - if everyone is kinda eeksy-peeksy on the mentoring/being shadowed front, you don't bother specifying, you just get told to go jump in with whoever or go explain to whoever. Javadi has options for Langdon, Collins, and arguably probably Mohan, too (bc I'm sure an R3 can handle a fairly basic asthma case) but Cassie says: present to Langdon because he is, in Cassie's opinion (and in mine hence: this entire series lmfao) the best teacher/mentor figure and likely the person Cassie herself would be most comfortable/likely to present to/he's her go-to.

2)- Perlah calling Langdon up and not only asking him where he's at (so Javadi could go to him/go find him potentially) but asking him to come to Central bc there's a med student looking for him (and the fact Langdon heads right on over):

So there tends to be a sliding scale of people and their willingness to shadow/mentor. At the very bottom of this are the (fortunately relatively few) who act as if you are: the biggest bane of their existence and will actively radiate contempt/annoyance while you dare to exist in their presence. Then you get those who act like you're part of the wall/a particularly uninteresting coatrack and allow you to be there as long as you do not make yourself known. Then there are those who are neutral, they just kinda vibe and you vibe and occasionally they'll mention a thing/give the occasional instruction. Then we get the people who are happy enough to give this a go, kinda explain some things to you/talk to you after consultations a bit. Then there are the rare precious few who are obviously: actively pleased you're there and want to teach/guide/encourage your love for the thing they love and share with you.

Langdon falls into this last category. And this is obvious from watching him/the rest of the series (that man very obviously loves his job AND he loves learning - and this translates to him: loving teaching, because he wants to share both of those things with his acquired ducklings) but it's also obvious to me from this little beat with Perlah.

The fact that she knows Langdon well enough to know that if she calls him up and let's him know there's a med student looking for him he will be: right there for 'em. And this is not a given, btw. (PTMC IS a teaching hospital, so my categories of 'willing to mentor' are a bit higher on the sliding scale bc it's an expectation of the environment, but even so) I've worked with people who would not deign to come and see little old peasant student me if they were on fire and I was a hose.

3)- I like that, before Javadi appears - you see Langdon checking boards. He looks for her patient/is making himself aware of the situation. Because he hasn't seen/spoken to Javadi yet when he asks after her 'asthma guy', and Perlah didn't tell him any specifics when she called him, just said she was looking for him. But Langdon makes the effort to see what's what and that means that when she approaches him HE initiates/asks her what's going on with asthma guy - so she doesn't have to fumble around for an opener/presentation, she can just confidently explain the treatment/response because she knows Langdon is aware of the situation.

And on a more personal level: I had THE WORST social anxiety when I was younger and this - having the person I was 'bothering' be the one to initiate/not making me start this conversation would've felt like the world's greatest gift. And Javadi is not: me, but regardless, first day in a new environment with new people, esp as a relatively young med student who probably hasn't done a million rotations yet, just having this as someone who sets the stage/opens things up for you does SO much in terms of making that person feel like someone you can trust/who will be there for you and that you can go to with cases and problems.

4)- This is reinforced/added to by the fact that he doesn't just ask her about the patient she came to present to him and then shoo her off to go take care of that/okay I have done the thing, now go away - he makes the point to ask her how things are going out in Chairs/keeps engaging and chatting with her - as well as giving her an opportunity/a possible memory prompt to ask any other questions she might have.

Whiiiiich takes us into;

5)- Javadi DOES decide that Langdon is #Approachable/someone she can ask things of. I love the little side-eye/glance Javadi gives Langdon as she #assesses him and decides if he's someone she can broach this with/if it's safe to try fishing for info from him and she concludes that: yes, yes he is.

(Unfortunately for her: Frank does not do the gossip/is evidently blanking on what she's after (Javadi: what can u tell me abt cassie's dark and mysterious past that may give me clues as to why she's got an ankle monitor. Frank: Cassie's...past? U mean, like, what she did for school?? Javadi:....... REGARDLESS! Frank: teaching 10/10. Gossip source: 0/10)

He doesn’t want to think about his mother and that cramped house now, though, because Mel is squirming in his lap, rubbing herself into his erection through their underwear. She has her eyes closed, lips puckered.

Frank pulls at her hair. “So sweet,” he says, leaning in to press a kiss to the side of her neck. “So fucking sweet for me, sweet girl.” He can’t stop saying it, because it’s true. Mel tastes so much like sugar he had her get tested for adult-onset diabetes. She’s fine; she’s perfect.

Mel gasps, stuttering against his dick, slumping forward so she can put her hips backwards and catch him in all the best spots. He feels her, wet, through the fabric, so slick between her and him. Frank reaches between their bodies, thumbing at her, rubbing. It’s not long before she turns over, tightening up as she comes, and—laughs.

Mel laughs when she comes.

Frank thrusts up into her. “Feels good, baby, right?” he says, feeling like he could bust himself, though he bites it back.

“Yeah,” Mel says breathlessly, in between giggles.

But it’s difficult to voice her every concern when his fingers are dipping beneath her bikini bottoms insistently, as she keens from the gentle pressure and impatient intrusion. She’d been insufferably wet the entire afternoon, watching Frank traipse around with sand clinging to his ankles and beer-sticky lips and swim trunks hanging low enough for her to see the dark, wispy hairs below his naval.

“Yes,” she finally responds in a weak, breathy sort of sound, pawing at his damp shoulders. He parts the pads of her top like a curtain, soaking up the sight of her breasts as if they’re a glorious morning sunrise. Lapping at her nipples and collarbones while he works her open.

The foam mat beneath her squeaks when he rucks her hips up, withdrawing his fingers and shuffling his cock out. Their skin stinks like lakewater and residual sweat but Mel doesn’t care, writhing and absentmindedly moaning little pleas for Frank to hurry up, her sweet, syrupy pussy all empty and weeping for him.

He trembles when he’s fully inside, their hips flush, folding himself over her, mouthing at Mel’s jaw with a loose tongue, panting against her neck. Rhythm unsteady and desperate, chasing something he has so little time to fully reach. 

Mel gets him in flashes like this; intrusive thoughts leading down a path that only ends with them tangled up and trying to ignore reality, to pretend it’ll last longer. Stretching seconds and minutes until the last possible moment, hoping everything won’t fall apart.

She can fight off the worry of everything they’re ignoring until he finally comes, biting down on her shoulder hard enough to draw a little bit of blood. 

Frank presses a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth and reminds her to wait at least five minutes before coming back down to the lake. To think of an excuse that won’t fuck his own up and make Abby wonder if Mel really is someone to be concerned about.