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sheepfilms

Andulka
Misplaced Lens Cap
taylor price
YOU ARE THE REASON
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
cherry valley forever

@theartofmadeline
Keni

PR's Tumblrdome
One Nice Bug Per Day
occasionally subtle

★
Sade Olutola

ellievsbear
RMH

#extradirty
Cosmic Funnies
DEAR READER
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@stfukass
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stfukass:
kass knows that tristan wasn’t expecting a hug. after all, kasey had an aversion to touch for the longest time. in fact, he was still hyper sensitive to touch. but with tristan, he felt safe. maybe it was unfair that he’d attached himself to tristan. after all, the younger male was seemingly his replacement for austin—well, both he and raylee seemed to do that job together. he doesn’t mention how much he misses his former cell mate, because he doesn’t want to let on the fact that he misses that torturous place some days. “h-hey, tristan?? d-do you think kat’s gonna fix me—be-before I have t-to leave ??”
his question was a bit unexpected, he had to admit, but he didn’t know what to say. tristan pulls away from him, a curious expression on his face. “ er, kass, you know you don’t need to be, ” he uses air quotations, “ ‘fixed’ right? i mean, i don’t think you need to be ‘fixed’, per se, ” he says, looking up at the ceiling, scrambling for the right words. “ it’s impossible for anyone to be truly fixed, but i do think it’s possible to get help. ” at this point, he was just mumbling to himself, not even realizing the words tumbling from his mouth.
for once, kasey is the one who's demeanor turns a bit—grouchy. he isn't mad, but he hates that answer. “i get the picture, t-tristan.” he mumbles, eyes trained downward, with what seems like a failed attempt at a scowl on his face. “wh-why does everybody s-say that i d-don't need to be fixed? I can't even sp-peak properly. I'm n-not stupid, i g-get that i-I'm messed up. just—why w-won't anyone tell me no, inst-stead of that bullshit e-excuse.” he grumbles, although he seems to nuzzle closer to the younger boy. he understands what the male is saying, and it does make him a bit grumpy, but Kasey can deal. he can do it, right?
T E R R I F I E D && L A S H I N G O U T
**kass.
kasey takes the younger girl’s pinky with a smile, hooking theirs and punctuating the action with a nod. he wants to make sure it’s true—wants to make sure she gets at least closer to the happiness she deserves. kasey knows he spends most of his time with younger kids, people most of the patients his age didn’t associate with as much. but kass took comfort in the younger patients—they were so much closer to the life he once knew, before all the pain. he doesn’t want his life to be dictated by a series of unfortunate events. “okay. I-I can try.”
‘ good. and that’s all we can really do, right? try. and let fate take us wherever it does. ’ she leans back against the wall then, breathing a small sigh. it’s better now, he’s not crying, and his stutter has gone down again. maybe she should suggest something to keep the mood up. ‘ hey, wanna do something fun? ’
“ y-yeah… all we can do is try. an-an’ it’s okay t-to get tired, but trying is i-important.” she’s special, that raylee. kass thinks his gram would have liked her. she’s the type of girl she’d tell him to stick with, he’s sure she would. granted, the only image of the woman kass has is from before he took him away. “ y-yeah…”
‘ alright, long story short, i didn’t realize how difficult it’d be to carry around a baby and a tray of cupcakes, so – wanna help me hold ‘em? you can take your pick which one. ’
“ I-I'll take the c-cupcakes !!”

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“b-but—don’t you think back to that bad place– an’-an’ everything just hurts and the memories just kinda wash o-over you and it’s like—you c-can’t stop it?” and then kass takes a step back, as a look of realization crosses his face. he can’t believe he just said that. he needs to stop pitying himself. “raylee'a a-a really g-great person… she's—she’s half the reason i l-like it here, y'know….”
kasey takes the younger girl’s pinky with a smile, hooking theirs and punctuating the action with a nod. he wants to make sure it’s true—wants to make sure she gets at least closer to the happiness she deserves. kasey knows he spends most of his time with younger kids, people most of the patients his age didn’t associate with as much. but kass took comfort in the younger patients—they were so much closer to the life he once knew, before all the pain. he doesn’t want his life to be dictated by a series of unfortunate events. “okay. I-I can try.”
stfukass :
“ w-why is she avoid-ding you ??”
“Ah well you see– I come from a rich dad and she was the nanny’s daughter, and basically someone kidnapped us for ransom and the whole time we were kept captive she didn’t talk to me and blamed everything on me– so we got here and she is still avoiding me.”
“ d-did they treat you guys ok-kay? the—the kidnappers, i m-mean... not- not that you h-have to t-tell me... uh-uhm—b-but um—I'm glad y-you guys are okay...”
stfukass :
“ s-sorry—I’m not l-looking —”
“Okay– you can look now.”
“ I-I um—c-can you just act l-like we're talking s-so kat doesn't come g-g-get me for therapy??”
stfukass:
kass’s face mirror’s tristan’s nervous smile. he’s trying so hard not the be afraid anymore. but it’s so hard for him, so hard to stop thinking about everything. he can’t help the way his hands shake, or he reaches for the other boy. he sits up, scooting closer to tristan, and throwing his arms around him. he wants to make sure Tristan is okay before he does anything else. the boy was an angel on earth, someone who could bring him into happy times. he was so afraid of making the other male upset—he didn’t want that in the slightest. he places a gentle kiss against tristan’s nose, and whispers, “it’s okay. you’re okay. we’re okay.” he’s trying his best to make Tristan smile, because kass couldn’t imagine why tristan could even remotely deserve to frown. he was so kind—so sweet. Kasey didn’t want him to be upset in the slightest.
he’s pulled into a hug, and he’s obviously caught off guard. slowly, tristan wraps his arms around kass, a small, shaky sigh escaping his lips. he feels safe, and it’s something he relishes in. his parents love him, and they’re great, but never home. never. he squeezes his eyes shut childishly as kass pecks his nose, before peeking out through his left one, a small laugh escaping his lips. “alright,” he breathes out quietly. “i’ll believe you. just this once.”
kass knows that tristan wasn’t expecting a hug. after all, kasey had an aversion to touch for the longest time. in fact, he was still hyper sensitive to touch. but with tristan, he felt safe. maybe it was unfair that he’d attached himself to tristan. after all, the younger male was seemingly his replacement for austin—well, both he and raylee seemed to do that job together. he doesn’t mention how much he misses his former cell mate, because he doesn’t want to let on the fact that he misses that torturous place some days. “h-hey, tristan?? d-do you think kat’s gonna fix me—be-before I have t-to leave ??”

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stfukass :
“ okay— that- that would be good, right ?? if i c-came every day– m-m-maybe we could fix th-th-the stuttering too…” kasey pulls his lower lip in, biting down to calm his ever present nervousness. “ you’re– you’re gonna f-fix me, right ??”
“Mhm we could work on a lot more if you started to come everyday– I think it’ll be good for you.” She said with a small nod. She frowned though at his last sentence and shook her head. “You don’t need to be fixed sweetheart, you just need to heal.”
“o-oh g-g-good... i—um... has a-anything changed with m-my case? d-do you know if th-the police found anyone else? o-or—if they c-caught him?” he knows he shouldn't ask anymore, and knows that he shouldn't be holding out all this hope that austin will waltz through the front door of the safe house and they'll both be okay. “i-i don't think i-i'm ever g-gonna be fixed healed.”
“y-you p-promise?” he asks, fragile gaze meeting the younger girl's. he wants to make her happier—he wants happiness so badly for her. she is such a bright star shining in the dark sky of his life. he wants to make sure she gets to shine brightly. “b-b-but i—i want to be a productive m-member of s-society. i owe it t-to austin.”
“d-d-do i make you happier, ray?” he asks, biting down on her lower lip. he doesn't want this to be a one way relationship. he cares about raylee, more than just a little bit. she's such a special girl, such a lovely person. he can't think of any reason why raylee deserves to be sad. she's just so wonderful. “i know b-but—i'm so u-useless... i-i want t-t-to be a productive m-member of society. i—i didn't even f-finish fourth g-grade!” he's so frustrated with himself, because he's so tired of feeling helpless. he just wants to be good for something.
her words make him smile, even though it hurts him so much to do so. he wants to make her happy, because she deserves it just as much as everyone else he knows. “ but—but ray, y-you're so so sweet t-to me. i-i never met anyone a-as nice as you.” he wants her to know just how valuable and important she is. “ray—wh-where am I s-supposed to go n-next y-year, wh-when I c-can't stay h-here an-anym-more.”

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he's trying to distract himself. he's thinking about raylee, about the way her voice sounds and the way her arms are wrapped tightly around him. “ i-i'm not th-that amazing... y-you—ray y-you've done s-so much for your f-family—for everyone... I-I can't even begin t-to tell you h-how amazing y-you are.” he wants to show her everything that he can—every small motion and idea that helped someone here. raylee never told him what happened to her—he never went into the gory details of what happened to him either. but the girl was something special, he could see it from the way she walked. he didn't know if she knew it, but —god— kasey wanted to make her sea.
stfukass:
his own heart shatters in his chest at the utterance of the word love. kass yearns for affection, and always has. the younger male’s attention, the gentle caress of his hand through kasey’s hair—that was what had him weak. his eyes look past the other male in the room, back towards a similar scene. a scene where he stood, creating beads of crimson in his arm. he didn’t like that. in fact, he said the only person allowed to hurt kass was him. things like that were hard to forget, but he so wanted to. when he blinks back into reality, tristan is saying something he hardly understands. “I-I’m not p-perfect. you're—what do y-you mean I’m p-perfect? have you e-ever even l-looked in a mirror? you’re p-perfect.”
he laughs a bit, but it’s shaky and it’s obvious tristan is panicking still. he locks eyes with the older boy, and gives him a small smile. he just wants him to be okay, whatever the definition of okay might be. “ i guess we both need to do some looking in the mirror then, huh, ” he said quietly, although he hoped he was loud enough for kasey to hear. he could feel his blue eyes welling up with tears and he bit down on the inside of his cheek to try and stop them from falling. god, if he ever felt like a massive failure, it would be in this moment. “ i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have said what i said earlier, and not as crudely. i’m sorry. ” he runs his hand through his hair once more, and before he knows it, the first tear has fallen.
kass’s face mirror’s tristan’s nervous smile. he's trying so hard not the be afraid anymore. but it's so hard for him, so hard to stop thinking about everything. he can't help the way his hands shake, or he reaches for the other boy. he sits up, scooting closer to tristan, and throwing his arms around him. he wants to make sure Tristan is okay before he does anything else. the boy was an angel on earth, someone who could bring him into happy times. he was so afraid of making the other male upset—he didn't want that in the slightest. he places a gentle kiss against tristan's nose, and whispers, “it's okay. you're okay. we're okay.” he's trying his best to make Tristan smile, because kass couldn't imagine why tristan could even remotely deserve to frown. he was so kind—so sweet. Kasey didn't want him to be upset in the slightest.