Stewart Turner

Who could possibly have a bad word to say about cuddly old Sir David Attenborough?

Well, quite a few people, actually.

It seems the much-loved national treasure has found himself on the receiving end of some pretty unsavoury threats, with some people even calling for him to be KILLED. Yikes!

Needless to say, as with most things at the moment, the whole sorry affair is connected to President-elect Donald Trump’s recent election success. Asked in a Newsnight interview last week about the billionaire businessman turned leader of the Free World’s anti-climate change views, Sir David prehaps ill-advisedly replied “We could shoot him. It’s not a bad idea…”

Of course, Sir David was only joking (honest), but infuriated Trump fans have picked up on his comments and vented their fury on social media – with some even calling for the cuddly TV legend to be shot.

One Trump supporter wrote on Twitter: “HOW ABOUT WE PUT 2 IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD?”, while another tweeted: “What a sick left wing loon, kill him!!!”

Another Trump fan took things even further and wrote: “David Attenborough said he wants to shoot Donald trump… Its pretty much decided he is gonna die then”.

Blimey.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, threatening to kill the president can carry a five year jail sentence and a £200,000 fine over in the US, too. So would Donald Trump risk the wrath of the British public and lock up a 90-year-old British TV legend?

Er, probably, yes.

Some Republicans have even started a campaign to get the nature-loving nonagenarianbanned from entering the USA, and one US resident – Napier Sandford Fuller from North Carolina – has even reported the matter to the US Embassy in London.

Sir David has brushed aside the threats, and said he wasn’t taking anything too seriously.

In a bizarre echo of a recent soap plot, Coronation Street actress Beverley Callard has a secret grandchild she’s never even met.

Bev’s one-year-old granddaughter Harrie and her mum Laura Cross live just down the road from the 59-year-old star. Harrie is the daughter of Jon McEwan – son of Beverley’s husband from a previous relationship, also called Jon. Confused? Us too.

In an interview with the Sunday Mirror, Laura said: “Beverley spoke on TV about how much she missed her grandchildren – when she has a granddaughter just down the road in Manchester who’s crying out for time with her.

“I did feel sorry for her. She obviously loves them and I feel she is being deprived of loving Harrie. This is her husband’s first grandchild.

Beverley recently appeared on Loose Women and told panellists how much she was missing her grandkids. “I don’t see them as often as I’d like,” she said. “It takes you by surprise the love that you have for them. They’re so funny.

“They think of Jon and I as the naughty grandparents because the other grandparents are quite sensible. We’re not.”

It was this TV appearance that prompted Laura to, er, get in touch with the tabloids. “I had to fight back tears,” the 34-year-old explained. “Harrie may not be her biological grandchild but she’s her husband’s blood relative. I can’t see why they’ve not reached out.”

Laura and Jon met through dating app Tinder in January last year. They slept together but the relationship fizzled out as they had little in common. Despite believing she was infertile following surgery on her fallopian tubes, she later discovered she was pregnant with his child.

“I knew the baby was Jon’s and hoped we’d have a mature and civil relationship moving forward,” she explains. “But when I sent him a text asking him to call me, explaining it was important, he refused so I had to break the news via text and send a scan.”

“Jon made it clear that he wouldn’t be having any further contact with her or Harrie because she had been born from a one-night stand. He asked her not to contact her but has agreed to make CSA payments towards her upbringing.

“She was born in November and by February I still hadn’t heard from him. I messaged Jon’s dad but I never heard from him either.

Singer Mick Hucknall is well known for the excesses of his Simply Red heyday – but these days you’re more likely to find him cooking and playing board games.

In fact, the carrot-topped warbler, who famously had flings with Catherine Zeta-Jones, Ulrika Johnsson and Helena Christensen, is more of a “house husband” these days, and says the success of his Stars album almost destroyed him.

“Fame isn’t the pot of gold,” he explained to the Mail on Sunday. “It’s important to say this as there are so many people out there chasing fame, thinking it’s going to give them everything.

“I’m proof that just isn’t the case.”

“I threw myself at all these things I could suddenly have – women, drugs, champagne – and I don’t want to say that wasn’t incredible, because, for a few years, it absolutely was.

“You think it’s everything and actually it’s nothing. And you can’t understand why, when you have everything, you still feel empty and unhappy.”

Some of the excesses of the star’s 90s heyday include having a ruby set in his teeth, splurging his cash on a vineyard producing Hucknall-branded wine, and bragging that he’d slept with over 1000 women. These days he’s not so proud of his younger self.

“Even when I was getting a kick out of that lifestyle, I knew there was a hollowness,” he explains. “I knew my greatest issue was that abandonment I’d had as a child and just even being aware of it changes you.

“I was an abandoned kid, so you react by abandoning others. You don’t commit because you can’t commit – you fear abandonment so you walk way.”

The star has been transformed by his marriage to model and businesswoman Gabriella Wesbury, who he dated in the mid-nineties before hooking up a decade later. They have a nine-year-old daughter called Romy together.

Monty Python star John Cleese is never one to mince words when it comes to his ex-wives.

But the 77-year-old star has gone even further than usual this time, telling a US chat show host that he hopes trees fall on his two surviving wives to kill them off quickly.

Er, OK John.

The Fawlty Towers star married his fourth wife Jennifer (above) four years ago – but not before he was forced to pay out an eye-watering £25million in divorce settlements to ex-partners Connie Booth, Barbara Trentham and Alyce Cleese over the years.

“I have been married 34 years – wait, wait – to four different wives,” Cleese told Conan O’Brien. “One of my ex-wives died – died. You know that? It was very sad because it was the wrong one.

Asked if he had “anger or hatred” towards any of his exes, he continued: “No, I mean, I am quite happy if one or two of them would be dead. But I don’t have anything against them as people.

“I wish them dead in the nicest possible way. Not dead in a slow, agonising death over a number of years. Something quick like a tree falling on them.”

The outspoken actor, who made millions from Hollywood comedies including A Fish Called Wanda, also moaned that his daughters Cynthia and Camilla have “ended up like their mothers.”

Cynthia was born in 1971 during his first marriage to Fawlty Towers co-star Connie Booth, while Camilla was born in his second marriage in 1984.

Both will have been delighted to hear his musings about having kids, too: “I think the secret is not to have children,” he explained.

“Children are the cause of most of the misery in the world. They cost a fortune, you worry yourself sick and then they grow up like their mothers.

Strictly Come Dancing’s well-known for upsetting the love lives of countless celebrities – and now Daisy Lowe’s laid the blame for her recent split firmly at the show’s door.

For once it has nothing to do with a celeb copping off with a dance partner, though. Instead the 27-year-old model says the show’s gruelling schedule made her relationship with Bradley “Frankie” Wade (above) fizzle out.

“People forget that with Strictly, it’s not just the training,” Daisy told The Sun. “You always have the show and you have to stay nearby the night before.

“Then you have to film It Takes Two each week and you have videos to do. There’s so much stuff that comes alongside the show.

“So it was a really tall order to start a relationship at the beginning of it. As wonderful and kind as Frankie is, I realised I had to put myself first and take care of both of us as a result. It was just impossible.”

The star also revealed that she was left with “no personality” after taking part in the gruelling training sessions for the ballroom show. She was left so exhausted by the dance classes she had no energy to devote to Frankie on her rare nights off.

“At the beginning, which is supposed to be the most joyful honeymoon period, I had nothing to give him,” she continues.

“We could have coped with the pressure if we had been together for ages and had known all the ins and outs of each other. But we had just met and suddenly it was like, ‘Who is this really tired person?’

“I’m never usually this exhausted every single day.”

Still, what’s to say Daisy and Frankie can’t just pick up where they left off after Strictly when she’s got a bit more energy?

In fact, Daisy refused to rule it out: “I’m trying to live day by day, and I’m going to take each day as it comes.”

Want further proof of Gavin and Stacey star Larry Lamb’s well-documented past as a insatiable lothario?

Well, how about seducing a nun who had gone 18 years without any bedroom gymnastics? Yep, apparently so.

Never one to adopt ‘Too Much Information’ as a life rule, the 69-year-old actor has told the Sunday Mirror about his dalliance with an ex-nun called Therese back in the heady days of the 1970s.

“It was madness,” he laughed. “I was pretty rampant back then, but, as she used to laugh, ‘Larry, I’ve got 18 years to catch up – 18 lost years.

“We spent a lot of time together that summer and I think I might have helped her with about nine of them.”

The pair met after Larry’s marriage to second wife Jacquie Parris collapsed. ”Therese had been one of 12 children born into a deeply religious French Canadian family,” he continued.

“As was the custom, two of these children were designated as gifts to the church. One of her brothers went into the priesrthood and Therese, who was already a ‘very, very sexually aware teenager’, was locked behind the walls of a closed convent.

“The sexual torment of a life of abstinence was unbearable,” he concluded.

Larry to the rescue, eh?

In other Larry news, the former EastEnder, who kicks off his campaign to be crowned King of the Jungle on ITV1 at 9pm tonight, has been applauded for springing into action to save a fellow constestant yesterday.

He performed a ‘Baywatch-style rescue’ on poor Scarlett Moffatt when she fell out of her canoe en route to camp.

King Danny the First has something of a ring to it, don’t you think?

It’s not altogether out of the question, either. Say, for example, that a meteor wiped out the entire Royal Family and another few thousand people in line to the British throne. Unlikely as it is, the EastEnders star could end up clutching an orb with a crown on his bonce.

Not convinced? Well, the 39-year-old actor is set to appear on an episode of the BBC’s genealogy show Who Do You Think You Are? later this month, and is shocked to discover he has a smidgen of blue blood coursing through his veins.

“A kid from Canning Town, Custom House, and this is my bloodline,” Danny coos in the show.

“It’s ridiculous to think that someone of my stature, somebody from absolutely nothing… actually my blood is his blood. I can not compute it in my brain that this man is related to me, this wonderful, powerful man.”

Sadly the identity of Danny’s medieval royal relative is being kept under wraps until the show airs.

Danny was born Daniel John Dyer in the East End in 1977. He now lives in Essex with his partner and three kids.

“Growing up you either had to make people laugh or you had to be able to hold your hands up or you’d get walked all other,” the star explained when discussing his upbringing. “”So I was a bit of a tearaway as a kid.

“I was probably heading for prison until I found my calling, which was acting. I’m from a broken family.

Forget that row about who has custody of the kids; the Sunday Express reckons Brad and Angelina are at war over who gets their filthy mitts on a famous old oil painting.

According to the paper, they’ve been tussling over Sir Edwin Landseer’s iconic The Monarch of the Glen, which is likely to fetch up to £10million when it goes up for auction in London next month.

Both Brad and Angelina are more than a little keen on the painting, which has become something of a symbol for the Scottish Highlands. The soon-to-be-divorced pair fell for the artwork while they were renting a manor house in Ayrshire in 2011 while Brad filmed World War Z.

Should’ve just snuck it in the suitcase along with the bathrobes, Brad!

“Angelina and Brad were mesmerised with the painting when they saw it in Edinburgh,” said a family pal. “They later heard it might be for sale and Brad’s manager started negotiations with Diageo but it became clear the company thought it could make more at auction.

“Now it has become awkward because both still want it. So Angelina is sending a representative to bid at Christie’s – and Brad is threatening to do the same.

“It could turn out to be yet another point of conflict between them… or Brad could make life much easier if he compromises and lets her go for it. The money isn’t a problem – they’ve both got the cash for it.”

However, there’s the added possibility that the warring couple could be outbid by the Scottish government.

Arts boffin Sir Roy Strong says Holyrood should splash some cash on the picture as a gift to the nation: “It’s an emblem of Scotland; £10million is not that much these days. If the Scots care about their heritage they should go for it.

“But I suppose the chances are it could go to America.”

Former Strictly Come Dancing star Ola Jordan has revealed her plan to become this year’s Queen of the Jungle.

And no – she hasn’t been living on a strict diet of kangaroo testicles and witchetty grubs for the past six months. Her cunning gameplan rather unsurprisingly involves bikinis.

The 34-year-old spilled the beans on her plot to the Daily Star, revealing she’s packed SIX different sets of swimwear for the show’s obligatory raft of gratuitous under-the-waterfall sequences.

However, despite being more than willing to take a shower in front of millions of people on national TV, the ballroom dancer reckons she’s actually rather shy. Obviously!

“I’m not as confident as people think,” she explained. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m not the most confident girl in the world.

“People say, ‘Oh, you dance in skimpy costumes on Strictly so you must be confident.’ But I’m not. I’m a confident dancer; but I’m not necessarily confident when my body is concerned.

“How do you wash your bits in there? That’s what I want to know?”

No idea, Ola.

Anyway, despite the Polish star’s gameplan, I’m A Celebrity bosses will be more than a little alarmed at her plans to QUIT the show if the pressure all gets a little to much for her.

“If I hate it, then I will leave,” she admitted. “I will walk if someone is rude to me or I was being pushed to my limit.

“If I hate it, then I will leave,” she admitted. “I will walk if someone is rude to me or I was being pushed to my limit.

“I’ve never been in a situation like this before. I suppose it will be quite hard, but I really don’t know what’s going to happen. Unless you’re in there, you don’t know how you’re going to react.

“It’s totally different to Strictly. I’ve never slept outside. I’ve never done anything like this. I’d like to see how much I can push myself. I would like to say that I’m brave, but I don’t know.

“I can handle people. It’s the creepy crawlies that I can’t handle.”

Er, sounds like just the show for you, Ola!

Remember when Cassandra turned up in Walford the other week and half of the Britain thought they’d dozed off during an episode of Only Fools and Horses and woken up 30 years late for work?

Well, actress Gwyneth Strong is back in EastEnders again tonight, reprising her role as Geraldine Clough – so this time you’ve got a bit of advance warning, OK?

Geraldine returns to Albert Square to organise the much-anticipated (honest) Walford Players Christmas Show, and Abi and Kathy pay her a visit. However, after a bit of a barney, Geraldine kicks Kathy out of the building.

The 56-year-old actress last appeared in the BBC soap back in September, playing the same role but at that time introduced as Linda Carter’s nemesis.

She’s appeared in Casualty, Midsomer Murders and New Tricks since playing Rodney’s long-suffering wife in the classic sitcom, but for most viewers, she’ll only ever be Mrs Trotter.

“Erm does Rodney know Cassandra is out drinking in the Queen Vic?” quipped one wag on Twitter back in September. “It’s Cassandra! Where’s Rodney?”, said another, while someone else added: “Reckon Del and Rodney going to walk in the Queen Vic any minute for a couple of swift halves and a tequila sunset.”

“Can’t get over Cassandra being on the Darts team. Remember the abuse she gave Rodney for going down the pub? #hypocrite.”

Yes, yes… but it’s not really… oh forget it.

But the EastEnders and Only Fools and Horses crossover doesn’t end there. Ohhh no. One eagle-eyed viewer noticed that Kellie Bright, who plays Linda Carter in the soap, also played Del and Rodney’s mum Joan Trotter in prequel sitcom Rock and Chips.

With Sir Cliff Richard currently SUING the BBC over their coverage of a police raid on his Berkshire home, you’d think he’d be a little reluctant to plonk his bum on the One Show sofa, wouldn’t you?

Presenter Alex Jones couldn’t help but feel the same – and stunned Sir Cliff by raising the issue during a cosy chat on last night’s show. Cue much awkwardness.

The 75-year-old singer has begun legal action against both the BBC and South Yorkshire police over allegations of sexual assault and the subsequent investigation. Despite being named in the Operation Yewtree probe, Cliff was never arrested or charged.

So why did Sir Cliff decided to go on the Beeb for a cosy chat? Well, because he likes the Archers, obviously.

“My relationship with the BBC… is fine,” he explained, “‘I’m here, aren’t I? I mean, the BBC to me is The One Show, it’s the radio shows I listen to. I listen to them all over the world. I listen to The Today Programme, The Archers when I catch up with it.”

Alex didn’t leave it there, either. Poor old Cliff only wanted to plug his new album and tour, but she decided to rake up the whole sorry business again. Still, the pop legend gamely explained how his life was turned upside down by the accuations.

“You feel like you’re in a hole,” Cliff explained, “and no matter how much you’re loved — my fans, my family, my friends — in the end you get to bed at night and you’re on your own again.”

“And you can’t help but think, ‘How do I get out of this? How do I escape from this emotional trauma?’

Christopher Biggins has made his first TV appearance since his removal from the Celebrity Big Brother house over biphobic and anti-semitic remarks, telling viewers “it’s lovely to be back.”

The panto star appeared on Good Morning Britain to discuss the upcoming series of I’m A Celebrity with hosts Kate Garraway, Ben Shephard and Richard Arnold.

The 67-year-old was himself crowned King of the Jungle back in 2007 way before his reality show stock fell following last summer’s Big Brother incident. He tipped Carol Vorderman and Scarlett Moffatt to go all the way.

"Carol is a pro, she'll do really well, she's taken a lot of bikinis with her so she's well up for it. I think Larry Lamb will be very good, I think he'll be great, great fun.

"The girl to look out for is Scarlett, she's lost a lot of weight so she'll be putting on a bikini."

Asked for his tips on how to win the show, Biggins said: “You have to be a team player. I went in three days late and I could hear Janice Dickinson screaming and she was lovely but she did absolutely nothing.

"And that's a disaster because we all have to eat. You have to do your bit."

Biggins was eventually cleared by Ofcom over comments he made on Channel 5’s Celebrity Big Brother last year. He was removed from the show after making a number of anti-semitic and biphobic remarks, most of which were not broadcast.

In one exchange with Renee Graziano which viewers DID see, Biggins was caught discussing the LGBT community and said: “I think the worst type though, I’m afraid to say, is the bisexuals. What it is is people not wanting to admit they are gay.”

For many people it was a teeny-tiny silver lining on the big black cloud of Donald Trump’s election victory – but sorry folks, it ain’t happening.

A few months back, habitually offensive reality star Katie Hopkins had promised fans that the alluring prospect of The Donald taking up residence in the White House would be enough to persuade her to up sticks and move to the USA.

So Katie, what are you waiting for?

Well, apparently the one-time Apprentice contestant has decided to stay in the UK after all – because we NEED her so much here.

No Katie, really we don’t.

"I think people need me, you know," the outspoken 41-year-old said during an appearance on news channel RT. "I've predicted the last general election when the pundits couldn't, I predicted the referendum would be vote leave when no one else could call it.

"And now I've predicted that Trump would win - and people have started to email me asking if I can tell them the Lottery numbers for the next week coming. So I think people here in the UK still need me."

Still, must make a change from the usual emails she receives, eh?

Anyway, some people aren’t having it. In fact, they’re so eager to see Katie leave the UK, they’ve even offered her free accommodation. Hotel booking site LateRooms trolled the star with the offer of a hotel room to use while she goes househunting.

The tweet read: "Hey @KTHopkins, still fancy moving to the states? Have your first night on us #BYEBYE (sic)"

 Hey @KTHopkins, still fancy moving to the states? Have your first night on us 👋👋👋 #BYEBYE pic.twitter.com/sc3gwwV8OO

— LateRooms.com (@LateRooms)

November 10, 2016

The music and lyrics of the late, great Leonard Cohen, who died this week at the age of 82, touched people like few other songwriters have managed.

When the great man put his guitar down he was brilliantly sharp in conversation, too. Here are just a few of his poignant, shrewd and perceptive quotes on love, life and death. RIP, Len.

On pessimism

“I don't consider myself a pessimist at all. I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel completely soaked to the skin.”

On living a simple life

“I have always been attracted to the voluptuousness of austerity. I never chose the style of my life because it hurt. It was on the contrary. I feel most comfortable and most abundant when things are very simple and I know where everything is and there’s nothing around that I don’t need.”

On insomnia

“The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world.”  

On life

“When things get really bad, just raise your glass and stamp your feet and do a little jig. That's about all you can do.“

On his guitar playing

“Journalists, especially English journalists, were very cruel to me. They said I only knew three chords when I knew five!“

On marriage

“I think marriage is the hottest furnace of the spirit today. Much more difficult than solitude, much more challenging for people who want to work on themselves. It’s a situation in which there are no alibis, excruciating most of the time …  but it’s only in this situation that any kind of work can be done.” 

On love

“This is the most challenging activity that humans get into, which is love. You know, where we have the sense that we can't live without love. That life has very little meaning without love."

On living your life

“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.”

On growing old

"The older I get, the surer I am that I'm not running the show."

On death

Why don’t you just spell it out for us, Liam?

The former One Direction man, and rumoured possible father to Cheryl Fernandez Versini’s possible baby (keep up), has set tongues wagging with a cryptic Instagram post.

The image, which shows an illustration of a US road sign reading ‘Liam Ln – Private’ was captioned ‘Stay in your lane’ by the 23-year-old star, which MUST mean “Stay out of my business and stop talking about Cheryl’s pregnancy”, right?

Either that or it’s a rather obscure road safety message. Liam as the new Green Cross Code man? Stranger things have happened.

And Liam’s not the only one seeking a wee bit of privacy of late. Cheryl’s toned down her tweeting in recent weeks, and attended just a smattering of social engagements – in really loose clothes and looking ‘radiant’, obviously.

She’s also been employing all manner of props in a bid to hide her tummy from the limelight.

Oh, just TELL US, will you?

Phillip Schofield has been slammed on social media for mocking a pair of black Donald Trump voters.

Viewers accused the This Morning host of “casual racism” after he reacted to Diamond and Silk, two Southern American supporters of Donald Trump, by shaking his head and shoulders.

“Phil was mocking the ladies there, really disrespectful and bordering on racist #thismorning” said one Twitter user, while another added: “Not sure about @Schofe’s racist reaction with the head move. Not acceptable. @Ofcom @ITV @thismorning #thismorning”.

“You’re both very bright, very intelligent women – you mention the trillion dollars of debt,” Phil told the pair, before going on to reel off a long list of things Trump said he would do if he was elected. “How is he going to pay for that – you’re already millions of pounds in debt?”

One of the women replied: “Waste, fraud and abuse will be stopped in the government honey, and once you stop that, that’s billions of dollars that can be reinvested back into America.”

As she answered, the 54-yer-old presenter moved his head and shoulders to her words – but some other viewers found nothing remotely dodgy in Phil’s gesture.

One tweeted: “Oh ffs! He wasn’t being racist. @Schofe #ThisMorning People really need to STFU. Trump’s the f**ing racist!” While another added: “How is moving your head from side to side racist?

Spare a thought for Geordie Shore star and I’m A Celebrity presenter Vicky Pattison, won’t you?

While co-hosts Joe Swash and Stacey Solomon have been given their own swanky private flats to kick back in while they cover this year’s jungle shenanigans, poor old Vicky is being forced to slum it in what The Sun calls a “public hotel.”

Erm, we think that just means a normal hotel, but anyway, the gist is that one time Jungle Queen Vicky will be forced to rub shoulders with the GENERAL PUBLIC while she’s staying on the Gold Coast, and co-hosts Joe and Stacey won’t. Poor lamb. Of course, Joe and Stacey are a couple, but they were even given their own individual flats so that they can enjoy some extra space while they’re covering the ITV show.

“It’s something Stacey wanted from the start. They both wanted more space,” an insider told The Sun. That’s despite the fact that they’re a couple, of course.

“They [Stacey and Joe] don’t live together in the UK so it shouldn’t be any different here. They’re right next door so they can still spend time together and have their own space.”

34-year-old ex-EastEnder Joe has even been showing off his swanky digs on social media, after asking Stacey to film a video of his guided tour. It boasts a huge, walk-in-wardrobe and a huge luxury bathtub, which was filled to the brim with bubbles for extra smug points. Stacey’s living in a similar flat next door with the kids.

Joe’s place also has its own private pool while, get this, 28-year-old Vicky has to swimming with HUNDREDS of other guests.

Never mind, Vicky. You could always lock yourself in your room until it’s time to go on air.