Believe in the 1 that matters

If it only takes one person to believe in u to stop for urself then that person is me. U know as well as anyone u have to quit for urself. But i needed someone to support me and encourage me. I was lucky enough to have Lisa. To provide the light at the end of the tunnel. Ill NEVER be out of the woods with my addiction but i dont wanna use anymore and im at the point now that even if it doesn't work between us i know ill struggle with the urge but I won't backstep. U can do it. I know the strength is within u. And somewhere in there u do too. Or u wouldn't get them butterflies in ur stomach. Thats what it really is not excitement. Its strength.

Im outta jail. Finally. Bunch of horrible things happened out here that really rattled me. Gonna try and get back to what I had and move forward

Orange county dont want me... lol. Said they have no record of a warrant. Im Tryin to get a hold of my po and find out what the fuck is going on.... LMAO. Yeah its not much just my life there playing with.

Going to turn myself in to county today 10/9/1 7 at about 4. I dont know how long ill be in. Itll be either just book and release to satisfy the warrant. Up to 30days before i go to court. And if the court decides to enforce the probation paperwork well im trying not to let my anxiety think that. 30 years is a loong time. Everyone be good. be strong. Be safe. And remember i do care. And u can do what ever it is u want to do. I believe in you...

Beautifully written

Hahaha yup. This is me sober too long.. i need friends with drugs. Or just drugs... hahaha dumbass i am.

I NEVER will see a homeless person the same way as i used to.  Yeah there's some that are just bad mean evil people. But look around u. Ur neighbors or bosses. Hell look at the entire upper echelon of companies or the world for fuck sakes. Point is there's bad whereveru go. But since i been homeless for a while granted not as long as most but long enough to get a deeper understanding of life without one of the 3 "needs" we're all taught in elementary schools.  Shelter the homeless people i have encountered are probably the sharpest quick witted and most helpful people ive met. We have all bummed cigarettes from each other.  Pointed out better resting places. Being sure not to give out our own. But ive been given food and water by more homeless then the privileged.  And when they ask for a smoke everyone has said please thank u and be safe... now ask urself when was the last time u heard that?  Lol. I cant say i love it but when I can choose the scenes in my life that i wake up to. Yeah ill be ok.