༶•┈┈⛧┈☾　☆　☽┈⛧┈┈•༶

“I think the constitution is just kinda cringe“

“I can’t paint the fuck out of a house”

“I’m gonna let god fix it, ‘cause if I fix it; I’m going to jail”

“Do you have snacks?”

“It is time for basket games”

“I’m about 43% sure I was just an accomplice to a crime and I just need an alibi, so I’m gonna tell you what happened so you’re guilty by association”

“You can’t eat at everybody’s house”

“I think I just made mustard gas?”

“Why’d you put the raisins in the mac and cheese?”

“It’s looking like it wants to move”

“You see how stupid that was? That’s how you treat me!”

“Help you do what? All I can do is pray for you – matter of fact, bow your head”

“Guys, my mom is a stripper”

“Did you know that whales loved 9/11?”

“By show of hands, mine doesn’t count, who gives a fuck?”

“I tried to use alcohol wipes to spike the punch at my Pre-K prom”

“What does that even mean, sir?”

“This just says ‘mommy please’?”

“Getting hit on by woke men is the seventh layer of hell”

“I was voted most likely to end up in a federal prison”

“My roomba keeps trying to escape”

“You think these bubbles are real? Can we sell these?”

“I would rather die”

“The great news; I may have spontaneously developed a super power. The slightly more likely bad news; I may need to seek medical attention”

“Stop being so mean to me or I swear to god I’m gonna fall in love with you”

“You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol, you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol; science!”

“I’m not convinced I know how to read I’ve just memorized a lot of words”

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No, a summer’s day is not a bitch”

“I’m gonna eat you”

“You know I could kill you with one hand, right?”

“I got beyblades!” “Well, dude, lead with that!”

“What the jesus christ was that?”

“EMS, fuckers! Where’s all the dead or dying bitches at?”

“Some people have a boyfriend, some people have a girlfriend, I have food”

“It wasn’t attempted, I beat his ass”

“Next time I see drugs, I’m gonna do a 360 and walk away”

“No, sir, I drank and then I drove”

“That’s because I’m in my zone”

“I could be smoking a blunt right now”

“Sign it, I’ll just fuck during the day”

“Do you have any hobbies that are physical activities?” “I’m moving my mouth, aren’t I?”

“I only hit him, he fell off the building himself!”

MARY POPPINS (1964) SENTENCE STARTER - Feel free to change pronouns e.t.c.

“Ghastly looking crew, I must say!”

“I said my say, and that’s all I’ll say.”

“There’s the whole world at your feet.”

“She doesn’t care what happens to us.”

“Childhood slips like sand through a sieve.”

“That will be quite enough of that, thank you.”

“We better keep an eye on this one. She’s tricky.”

“Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts.”

“Shut the window. That bird is giving me a headache.”

“That’s a piecrust promise. Easily made, easily broken.”

“Close your mouth, *Name here*. We are not a codfish.” 

“You’re a man of high position, esteemed by your peers.”

“Not so fast please, I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

“Why do you always complicate things that are really quite simple?”

“Just a moment, *Name here*. What is the meaning of this outrage?”

“I don’t know what we did, but it must have been something dreadful.”

“First of all, I would like to make one thing clear: I never explain anything.”

“I got a jolly joke I saved for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?”

“What an impertinent thing to say! Me, putting ideas into people’s heads? Really!”

“Never judge things by their appearance… even carpetbags. I’m sure I never do.”

“Though we adore men individually, we agree as a group that they are rather stupid.”

“I have told you time and time again, *Name here*, that I dislike being hurried into things.”

“Sometimes a person we love, through no fault of their own, can’t see past the end of his nose.”

“Why yes, of course, there’s not a moment to lose. I’ll go straightaway! And thank you very much.”

“There’s the whole world at your feet. And who gets to see it but the birds, the stars, and the chimney sweeps.”

“In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and - SNAP - the job’s a game!”

“I should like to make a slight differentiation between the word cheerful and just plain giddy irresponsibility.”

❛  i can’t stop thinking about you.  ❜ ❛  i’m gonna make you scream my name.  ❜ ❛  you won’t be able to walk straight after i’m done with you.  ❜ ❛  you like it when i talk dirty to you, don’t you ?  ❜ ❛  i’m planning to turn you into a dripping mess.  ❜ ❛  you make me so horny i can’t think straight.  ❜ ❛  i’ve been thinking about bending you over that table and just having my way with you.  ❜ ❛  you’ve been a bad girl / boy, and deserve a punishment.  ❜ ❛  you’re gonna come for me later ?  ❜ ❛  i’ve been touching myself to the throught of what you’re gonna do to me.  ❜ ❛  you’re gonna be a good girl / boy ?  ❜ ❛  i want you to take control.  ❜ ❛  you didn’t think i’d just let you get away with all this teasing, right ?  ❜ ❛  if there weren’t so many people watching us, i’d already be on my knees in front of you.  ❜ ❛  i’ve got a suprise planned for you later.  ❜ ❛  tonight is gonna be all about you.  ❜ ❛  i’m wearing some nice new lingerie for you.  ❜ ❛  do you see how hard / wet you’ve already made me ?  ❜ ❛  your moans are music to my ears.  ❜ ❛  i don’t normally do this, but you bring out this craziness in me.  ❜

[ PALM ] ― your muse palms my muse’s penis / breasts through their clothes. [ NIBBLE ] ― your muse gently nibbles on my muse’s earlobe. [ SEDUCTION ] ― my muse whispers dirty nothings into their ear. [ FRENCH KISS ] ― your muse kisses my muse with tongue. [ WATCH ] ― my muse starts to masturbate in front of your muse. [ CLOTHES OFF ] ― your muse helps my muse undress. [ WALL ] ― your muse pins my muse against the closest wall. [ GRIND ] ― your muse teasingly grinds against my muse. [ SEXTING ] ― my muse sends your muse a dirty text / picture. [ VIBRATION ] ― your muse controls a sextoy my muse has inside of them. [ MASSAGE ] ― my muse gives your my a sensual massage. [ BLINDFOLD ] ― my muse makes your muse wear a blindfold. [ FLASH ] ― my muse ‘accidentally’ flashes your muse. [ SUCK ] ― your muse sucks on a banana / lollipop in front of my muse. [ STRIP ] ― my muse gives your muse a strip tease. [ DANCE ] ― my muse dances seductively for your muse. [ TIES ] ― my muse ties your muse down on the bed. [ SPANKING ] ― your muse spanks my muses’ ass. [ PORN ] ― our muses watch a dirty movie together. [ LAP ] ― my muse sits on your muses’ lap and teases them.

tw // nsfw

since this first version of this was extremely popular, i made a follow up, intended to have it out on sunday but alas. add + or just ( REVERSE ) on any of these to switch sender and receiver. if you can’t see the emojis send the word instead.

💒 ( WEDDING ) - sender and receiver spend their first night as newly-weds together

 👻 ( HAUNTED HOUSE ) - sender and receiver work together in a haunted house attraction, unable to take the tension anymore, they sneak off while groups are walking through the house to have sex in one of the less-frequented parts of the haunt

🫢 ( BESTMAN/MAID OF HONOR )  - receiver’s sibling has made them the maid of honor/best man/other at their wedding but in the middle of the rehearsal, receiver snuck away with sender, one of the groomsmen/bridesmaids to have a moment alone

🤓 ( TUTOR ) - sender has been tutoring receiver and uses other means of encouragement to help them learn

📘 ( BOOK ) - sender has receiver see how long they can continue to read from a book while they go down on them

🫣 ( LINGERIE ) - receiver has just bought a new lingerie set for sender, sender makes a game out of modelling it for them and seeing how long receiver can resist touching them

🖊️ ( INTERVIEW ) - receiver is an incredibly high profile celebrity and sender has asked them non-stop for an interview, however, the sexual tension is simply too hard to ignore and sender and receiver have sex while sender audio tapes the whole thing

💊 ( HALLUCINOGENIC ) - sender and receiver have taken a very strong hallucinogenic before going to bed with one another

😠 ( TOXIC ) - fed up with their significant other’s toxic attitude, sender is venting to their partner’s sibling, receiver, when suddenly receiver leans in and kisses sender, causing the situation to spiral from there

🎥 ( THEATER ) - while on a date in a movie theater, sender’s hand affectionately rests on receiver’s thigh and while receiver initially thinks nothing of it, sender’s hand is suddenly in receiver’s pants/up their skirt/etc

🧑‍💼 ( OFFICE ) - while working a late night, receiver is sexting with a hook-up and intends to send them a nude but accidentally sends it to their boss, sender, who is the only other person in the office with them

💃🏻 ( BALLET ) - sender and receiver are part of the same ballet company and while rehearsing a particularly intimate dance, sender pulls receiver into their dressing room after rehearsal

📷 ( LIVE ) - sender and receiver are in the middle of a live sex stream

👠 ( STRIP ) - sender gives receiver a lap dance in one of the VIP rooms at the club, sender doesn’t necessarily mind that receiver is definitely breaking the no touching rule

😳 ( FORGOT ) - after receiver’s roommate, sender, goes out, they decide to indulge in a little ‘me time’ on the living room couch only for sender to abruptly walk back in after having forgotten something

💚 ( STOLEN ) - receiver’s family member has made a habit of stealing all of the partners that receiver has brought to meet their family at reunions, sender, knowing this and seeing how angry receiver is getting while their family member flirts with them, tugs them off into the upstairs bathroom to reassure receiver they only have eyes for them

18+. sexual themes ahead. this list was primarily made to get conversations around kink going but like it says on the tin, context matters. stay safe, smart, and have fun. 

“ use your words. ”

“ don’t think i didn’t notice how much you seemed to enjoy that. ”

“ yeah, or … you could keep going. ”

“ ask me nicely. ”

“ you think i don’t already know what you need ? ”

“ don’t make me say it. it’s embarrassing. ”

“ got yourself into quite the predicament there, haven’t you ? ”

“ all you have to do is ask. ”

“ no … keep it on. ”

“ you promised you could keep quiet. ”

“ you don’t have to be shy. don’t i always make you feel good ? ”

“ trust me. i know how to make you feel good. ”

“ i’m all for your little pain kink, but you need to rest. ”

 " will you try them on for me ? “

” so that’s a thing for you, huh ? duly noted. “

” you bet your sweet ass i’m using this to my advantage later. “

” interesting reaction. we’ll be talking about that later. “

” maybe tonight we could do the thing you wanted to try … “

” this what you needed ? “

” say it back to me, who do you belong to ? “

” yeah. yeah, but it’s a good hurt, keep going. “

[ HAND ] for sender to clamp their hand around receiver’s mouth to keep them quiet 

[ MUFFLE ] for receiver to clamp their hand around sender’s mouth to keep them quiet

[ UNIFORM ] for sender to see receiver in a uniform for the first time and obviously get distracted

[ LOOK ] for receiver to see sender in uniform for the first time and obviously get distracted 

[ CHOKE ] for sender to put receiver in a chokehold during a fight and receiver accidentally moans about it 

[ CHOKED ] for receiver to put sender in a chokehold during a fight and sender accidentally moans about it 

[ STRIP ] for sender to change their clothes in front of receiver and receiver is noticeably flustered 

[ DRESS ] for receiver to change their clothes in front of sender and sender is noticeably flustered 

[ DISCOVER ] for receiver to discover that sender has sensitive  ” insert. “ [ now’s the time to confess your muse’s weak spots ]

[ PAIN ] for receiver to admit they like it rough and/or painful to stop sender from being too gentle or careful with them 

[ PAINED ] for sender to admit they like rough and/or painful to stop receiver from being too gentle or careful with them 

[ CHECK ] for receiver to check in with sender whether what they’re doing is okay 

[ TEST ] for sender to check in with receiver whether what they’re doing is okay 

[ THIRST ] for receiver to want sender really badly because they’re horny or have been teased but sender resists 

(  a  mix  of  angst,  fluff,  and  plot  focused  dialogue  prompts  in  the  form  of  questions.  feel  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ what are you listening to? ❜

❛ can’t sleep? ❜

❛ did it hurt? ❜

❛ are you sure this is a good idea? ❜

❛ do you mind if i sleep here tonight? ❜

❛ what are you doing out here by yourself? ❜

❛ are you wearing my shirt? ❜

❛ don’t you know what you mean to me? ❜

❛ will i see you again? ❜

❛ are you comfy? ❜

❛ do you promise? ❜

❛ are you trying to get us in trouble? ❜

❛ do you enjoy playing with people’s hearts? ❜

❛ don’t we deserve to be happy? ❜

❛ why can’t i come with you? ❜

❛ are you here to kill me? ❜

❛ you think i’m jealous? ❜

❛ do you want to share this? ❜

❛ is that blood? is it yours? ❜

❛ how do you know my name? ❜

❛ you’re an asshole, you know that? ❜

❛ like what you see? ❜

❛ was that your first kiss? ❜

❛ are you happy here with me? ❜

❛ sorry, did you want to be alone? ❜

❛ do you want my jacket? ❜

❛ how are you still alive? ❜

❛ you’re beautiful, you know that? ❜

❛ what are you so afraid of? ❜

❛ today isn’t your day, is it? ❜

❛ how does it feel to be in love? ❜

❛ you’ve been crying, what’s wrong? ❜

❛ do you remember when we first met? ❜

❛ isn’t this amazing? ❜

❛ did you miss me? ❜

❛ alright, who am i beating up? ❜

❛ that was a close call, wasn’t it? ❜

❛ am i worth so little to you? ❜

❛ how is it you’re never scared? ❜

❛ do you ever think about the future? ❜

❛ can you look at me? please? ❜

❛ you got me flowers? ❜

❛ well, how do i look? ❜

❛ what aren’t you telling me? ❜

❛ how about a kiss before i go? ❜

❛ you don’t know who i am, do you? ❜

❛ may i have this dance? ❜

❛ who’s going to stop us, huh? ❜

❛ wait, you’re leaving already? ❜

❛ it’s my fault, isn’t it? ❜

❛ have you ever lost someone? ❜

❛ do you think i’m a good person? ❜

❛ is it really you? ❜

❛ what if i hurt you? ❜

❛ if you won’t take care of yourself, then who will? ❜

❛ have you come to laugh at me? ❜

I see a lot of sinday prompts, but not a lot that gives with foreplay. So here are some foreplay prompts to spice up your muses smut or you can make these into drabbles. Send + reverse for the opposite.

Soft Foreplay

[Sext] My muse sends mines a sexy pic/text messages leaving your muse thinking about them all day. 

[Note] Your muses finds a note left by mines asking them to meet them somewhere for a surprise! (Make sure you specify a location to meet them.) 

[Phone Sex] Our muses are having a normal phone conversation. My muse makes suggestive comments that shift the conversation to being something more hot.

[Make Out Secession] My muse makes out with yours then touches them in more intimate places (thigh, leg, crotch) etc.

[Dress up] My muse surprises mines by wearing some sexy lingerie/cosplay once your muse comes over to their place. 

[Roleplay] My muse decides to spice things up by acting out a roleplay fantasy your muse has (you can decide what the fantasy is.)

[Oral] My muses starts kissing, licking, etc over your muse’s body and slowly starts to go lower. 

[Dancing] My muse is dancing with yours, my muses pulls your closers to their body and starts touching them intimately while dancing. 

Sexy and Playful Foreplay

[Massage] My muse offers your muse a massage. During that massage, my muse starts kissing and touching your muse body in more sensual manner. 

[Striptease] My muses performs a strip teases before yours muse to get them aroused. 

[Game] Your muse suggests mines that they play a game (card, video games, etc.) and the loser will have to suffer a penalty! (You can decide what that penalty would be.)

[Rough Play]  Our muses is in a rather playful mood and it ends up in a play fight. My muse is pinned down under yours and yours starts gently humping against my muse causing them to blush. 

[Toys] My muse brought a toy to use on your muse and teases them with it. 

[Tease] My muse teases your muse’s about erogenous zones. Once your muses get turned on, mines pulls away and leaves them hanging for the rest of the day leaving your muse frustrated and aroused.  

[Public] Our muses are in a public place. My muse drags off yours to somewhere more secluded and starts teasing them. Your muse tries to keep their voices down in hopes they don’t get caught. 

UNCANNY AVENGERS: UNITY, ISSUES 21-30

starters from issues 21-30 of the 2015-2017 comic series by gerry duggan & jim zub.

“i know you hate that you can’t read my mind. trust me, you’re not missing much.”

“you don’t get to put your thoughts in my head anymore.”

“you didn’t fail – you saved us all.”

“governments are made of people. and they can make mistakes, or become compromised.”

“looks like one of us is getting too old for this shit.”

“we didn’t last as long as i had hoped.”

“you fliers are always so sneaky.”

“i don’t hate you! i just – it’s hard to explain.”

“i dig you too much to ruin you – which i would do, okay?”

“i don’t want you feeling bad for me. i get beat up all the time.”

“you only like me ‘cause you don’t know me that well.”

“you better have a great explanation for this.”

“i didn’t do what i did for me – i did it for you.”

“your (grand)father/mother walked a dark path, but you are your own person. you’re going to write your own future.”

“you and i are a lot alike. we each have a shadow following us around.”

“man, i gotta remember to steal from more pacifists.”

“not every problem gets solved with a punch.”

“speak for yourself. punching’s done me pretty good over the years.”

“can we please slow down and figure out what’s going on?”

“i can’t leave the city for a minute without something ridiculous happening…”

“don’t try to negotiate with them. they’ve got ‘hero brain’. think they’re better than us.”

“you’re the leader till someone better comes along.”

“i thought this was the part where we team up because we risked our lives for each other and stuff.”

“you’re a stubborn one, aren’t you?”

“we’re gonna die we’re gonna die we’re gonna die-”

“i mess up every team i’m a part of.”

“don’t know how much longer we can keep this up.”

“we must do what is always done after great strife overtakes our lives… we must carry on.”

“i… i tried to save you.”

“what truly matters is the spirit. the inner self, beyond physical limitations.”

“you wield great power. that could not be without strength of spirit.”

“could we just go one night without everything going berserk?”

“every person we save, every life we’ve touched, they matter. you have to believe that and hold on.”

“i never kid, sir/ma’am. it’s bad for business.”

“being smart doesn’t mean i actually ‘know it all.’”

“that’s what happens on teams. the loud and obnoxious ones get all the glory while we’re left to get things done before zipping out for some creme brulee.”

“i’m getting the distinct feeling you don’t like me.”

“your ego blinds you to the truth, (name). it always has.”

“the past will trap us, if we let it. we both deserve more than that.”

“i do not know what the future brings… but i would like to explore the possibilities by your side.”

“understanding who we’ve been is crucial to moving forward and becoming who we need to be.”

tw // nsfw

i did a version of this ages and ages ago on an old resource blog and desperately wanted to remake it. add + or just ( REVERSE ) on any of these to switch sender and receiver. if you can’t see the emojis send the word instead.

❤️ ( HEART ) - sender and receiver enjoy an intimate valentine’s day

😬 ( GRIMACE )  - sender is giving receiver head beneath a desk when someone unexpectedly walks in and receiver is forced to keep a straight face while the person talks to them

🏢 ( BUILDING )  - sender and receiver are exploring an abandoned space together when they decide to stop for a little fun in one of the rooms

🎉 ( PARTY ) - sender and receiver are at a party, both wanting a moment alone but all the bedrooms are taken and so they resort to using a very cramped closet

🤔 ( THINKING ) - receiver is looking for any means to distract sender from their work to get them to come to bed and resorts to teasing them

😡 ( MAD ) - sender and receiver are fighting when suddenly the angry tension turns to sexual tension and receiver pulls sender in for a kiss

🥶 ( COLD ) - its freezing and the heat is out but there’s always other ways for sender and receiver to keep warm

😏 ( SMIRK ) - sender pulled receiver into lap to be affectionate but they quickly become distracted and start teasing receiver

🙄 ( EYEROLL ) - receiver is having sender meet their toxic family for the first time and after storming out with sender in tow, receiver blows off steam with sender in the car a few blocks down the road

💤 ( ZZZ ) - sender tries to wake receiver up but when nothing else works, they decide to go down on them in hopes of making them stir

🥪 ( SANDWICH ) - receiver was just trying to drop sender off some lunch at work but after seeing them in a particularly arousing position, receiver pulls sender into their office for a quickie

👐 ( HANDS ) - sender was just trying to help receiver with their sore back by offering a massage but after receiver starts making particularly enticing noises, they can’t help but tease them

🛋️ ( COUCH ) - receiver invited sender over after a long day and what was originally supposed to be a movie watching session has turned out into a very heated makeout on the couch

🚪 ( DOOR ) - sender watched someone hit on receiver and to cope with the jealousy, pins them againts the door when they get home to kiss them but things quickly become heated

🚙 ( CAR ) - as opposed to attending the party that receiver was invited to, they have sex with their plus one ( sender ) in the limo

✈️ ( AIRPLANE ) - sender and receiver’s plane hits turbulence that causes receiver’s anxiety to act up so sender does their best to ‘distract’ receiver

❛  do you know what would look good on you ? me.  ❜ ❛  if i flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head ?  ❜ ❛  damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.  ❜ ❛  your daddy must have been a baker cause you got the nicest set of buns i’ve ever seen.  ❜ ❛  do you believe in love at first sight or should i walk by again ?  ❜ ❛  that outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.  ❜ ❛  hey, i just realized this, but you look a lot like my next boyfriend / girlfriend.  ❜ ❛  my dick’s been feeling a little dead lately. wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth ?  ❜ ❛  i’m like domino’s pizza. if i don’t come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.  ❜ ❛  hey baby, as long as i have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.  ❜ ❛  let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down.  ❜ ❛  i know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.  ❜ ❛  that’s a nice shirt. can i talk you out of it ?  ❜ ❛  screw me if i am wrong, but haven’t we met before ?  ❜ ❛  i’ve just moved you to the top of my to-do list.  ❜ ❛  if you’re feeling down, i can feel you up.  ❜ ❛  is it hot in here ? or is it just you ?  ❜ ❛  just to be clear, we’re both heading for the same bed tonight, right ?  ❜ ❛  remember my name because you’ll be screaming it later.  ❜ ❛  i lost my keys … can i check your pants ?  ❜ ❛  roses are red, violets are fine. you be the six, i’ll be the nine.  ❜ ❛  was than an earthquake or did you just rock my world ?  ❜ ❛  apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living ?  ❜ ❛  i’m not drunk, i’m just intoxicated by you.  ❜ ❛  i have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. so would you smile for me ?  ❜ ❛  are you undressing me with your eyes ?  ❜ ❛  with school, i just want an a. with you, i just want to f.  ❜ ❛  i think i could fall madly in bed with you.  ❜ ❛  can i borrow a kiss ? i promise i’ll give it back.  ❜ ❛  what is a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine ?  ❜ ❛  i don’t think i want babies but i wouldn’t mind refining my baby-making technique with you.  ❜ ❛  dinner first or can we go straight for dessert ?  ❜ ❛  i was feeling very off today but then you turned me on.  ❜ ❛  i’m having trouble sleeping by myself. can you sleep with me ?  ❜ ❛  want to save water by showering together ?  ❜ ❛  let only latex stand between our love.  ❜ ❛  if you look that good in clothes, you must look even better out of them.  ❜ ❛  i hate to see you go but i love to watch you leave.  ❜ ❛  let’s play carpenter. first, we’ll get hammered, then i’ll nail you.  ❜ ❛  sorry, that seat is taken but you can come and sit on my lap if you’d like. we’ll talk about whatever pops up.  ❜