ethereal.

❝ ... ❞

            Brows raise as she glances down at her straightened accessory, momentarily stunned with how she failed to notice the detail despite the quick glance she had taken in the mirror. Someone was obviously tired ( perhaps she should have taken heed of everyone’s worries yesterday— venturing through Tartarus after a busy day of after school activities was unmistakably an exhausting combination ).

||| ♕ |||

it had become harder, for mitsuru, to understand and read her thoughts. the leader had her own way of thinking, a simplicity that had often left the empress surprised - for how much lied, under the mask she was carrying and wearing. a smile. naturally, it couldn’t have been anything else, coming from her - nothing as presentable, cheerful and simple than a smile. but was it true ?  she had seen it for months – yet now it seemed almost foreign. unknown.

she was worried. being it part of her nature, her duty  ( and age too ) ; almost in need to assure everyone’s well-being, now that certainty seemed to lack. and it had been painful enough to admit, to herself, that the cause was, unfortunately, well known. 

                «  I see. That explains a lot.  »

she had never been alone, since that night - unless she decided to step out of the dormitory to visit him, yes. or at least, that was what Yamagishi and Takeba themselves had been often confessed to the empress; busy as she was, now that the school trip was getting closer, she usually spent most of the afternoons at school, anyway. and not much progress was made inside of Tartarus. nights had surely become duller.

the mere mention almost did make her body freeze up, though. for the fact still had difficulties being accepted by the older one too. fighting for him, for what was right, and for the good old memories, remained the priority - of course; yet what restrained them all, encore ?  her gaze lowered, for a brief moment, before eyelids completely shut.

                «  It didn’t for anyone of us - no matter what Akihiko                 or others might tell you. You can recognise it by a                 simple look - I’m no different too, I confess.                 And–  a-and going to visit him makes you feel like                 this; or maybe different at all… ?  »     

           A sigh escapes her, as if all the joy she felt nearly a month ago was leaving her with every breath that slipped past her lips and dispersed into the air, dissolving into nothing more than simple air particles. While she felt safer, more assured, a little more numb whenever she painted a grin on her lips, she lets it fall, recognizing now isn’t the time to play a silly game of pretend ( her defense could fool many if they weren’t paying attention enough but, when looked at closely, even her best could not keep her own pain at bay when the conversation’s topic became him ).

    ❝ I know, ❞ she assures, hands abandoning her task upon the table and deciding to rest on her lap, tightly clasped together. Her gaze rises, fringe hiding the heartbreak in her eyes from view, knuckles turning white as her grip tightens. While she loved him, the others loved him too. They were a makeshift family, held together with a bond outsiders would never understand no matter how hard they tried. They loved him because he was family, a friend, someone they could rely on. She knows their pain is much like her own ( but still vastly different ), and she is very much aware she is not the only one mourning. 

    It’s why less trips to Tartarus have occurred as of late, why she glances at everyone in the lounge before she dares make the suggestion. But it’s more than simply being mindful of her friends. It’s the uncertainty and fear that have shaken her very being and crushed her confidence that makes any idea of Tartarus scurry from her mind. It’s settled in all of them, and she knows. Despite their extraordinary abilities, they’re teenagers first, still children developing. Coping is hard, continuing onward is even harder. 

    “It still feels surreal... If any one of us accepted it already, I’d be asking for lessons so I could too.” She jests lightly, though her own words push another sigh past her lips, head shaking. The brunette is quiet for a long time, lips in a deep frown before they part, another sigh, more bits of happiness, is exhaled through her nose. 

    “Visiting him... It makes me feel sad.” Angry at myself. Irritated with my inability to prevent it. “A bit lonely...” Absolutely devastated. “And upset he didn’t tell us anything.” Disappointed he didn’t trust me enough to know. How he thought I would be strong enough to keep going. “But... It’s the same for all of us, isn’t it? We’re all feeling the same just... Expressing it differently.” And with that, crimson irises reveal themselves once again, head lowered, pained smile spread across her visage as though it was all that was keeping her from sobbing. 

PAPERS RUSTLE IN ATLAS  hands, brumal esse warming adagio by the waxed curves of red, red lips.    ″  these are quite exemplary scores, shiomi,  ″    she praises, sarcenet in the glide of her tongue            an epoch of tenderness, is this how it feels?    ″  i’m very proud of you.  you can expect a reward within the next few days, rest assured.  ″     /     @stellarious

            A sheepish laugh escapes plump lips, a smile of gratitude gracing her features as fingers clasp together. Praise from the elder was earned ( something the heiress made known ) and while the brunette has received many words complimenting grandeur as SEES leader, being commended for academic achievement caused giddiness to flow through her veins and in her already wide grin. 

if makoto diverted his attention away for any longer than a second, he would have missed the mess of a confession that was spewed. his only response to such a shock-inducing and unpredictable statement was a raise of a brow and a brief examination of the crime scene. he spotted the bits of tea splatters that she forgot to wipe away and the whole situation had become clear to him. his dull gaze falls back on the red-handed culprit, and he plays around the ideas of the possible outcomes to come with this discovery. silence was creating tension in the room, whether it was makoto’s intention or not, but it all falls apart when he stifles a chuckle, where he tries to contain it with his hand hovering in front of his mouth. he could tease her more and push the guilt even further, but it didn’t take much to know how bad she felt.  ‘ ‘s fine. it wasn’t like it was all that hard. ’ he gave himself the liberty of seating himself down, but before he opened his book again, he faces the culprit again with a smile that no longer carried the gentle forgiveness he had before.

‘ at least i’ll have a partner to get through the lonely barking dogs, right? ’

            Lips do not leave her cup as the silence stretches between them, an odd anxiety creeping down her spine and settling itself in the pit of her stomach. Making Makoto truly upset was a hard task, and in truth, the last she had caused one of his angry glares sent her way was in their youth when bliss was their companion and peace was able to be called their own. The brunette risks a glance his way, mug merely held up to give her time to think of what to say in response to anything he would say, though when he laughs, amusement accompanied by a forgiving grin, she relaxes. Shoulders once tense droop, the mug used as a shield for any conversation set back upon the table, smile returning to her own features as she nods in agreement, undeterred by his suddenly cold smile. A fair compensation to her clumsy mistake, and in all honesty, she would have offered anyway.

‘ mitsuru’s approval. ’ in what is clearly a jest, his deliver was deadpanned and monotone.  ‘ where did it go? ’ his restated question came out a lot stronger the second time, as if he was slowly approaching into interrogative behaviour, but understanding makoto’s patterns would automatically give the hint that such a tone of voice had no real weight to it. he could care less, as he often does with almost everything he does.  ‘ … i guess i’m going to have to pull an all-nighter. again. i’m sure those barking dogs missed my company. ’ stale eyes hold firm eye-to-eye contact with the crimson pair that had lies and slander written all over them; his message of you can’t lie to me, just come clean already burning into her without a single word uttered.