see how she shines

LIZZIE: MY SHIPPING SENSES ARE TINGLING

LIZZIE: TINGLING !!!

STELLA: ...They make a medicated ointment for that, don't they?

Funny, Stell Bells, I was just about to tell you how excited I am to find a song that reminds me of you bu that would probably be way too cute, right?  And I do love children… 

FAR too cute. Terminally cute. I can hear bunnies squealing in anguish and jealousy that you are exponentially cuter than they are.

(I’m kind of curious what you’d come up with now, though.)

“You just need to have sex with a guy who’s good at it.”

...Like you, you mean? I laughed for days at that one.

Dan: Maybe I know something you dont!

Stella: ...I have an evil twin who's been hidden in a cabin in the woods for her entire life and is just waiting to come out of the shadows, steal my life, and make everyone mindless puppets in her nefarious schemes, don't I?

STÉ: I would have complained and questioned his effectiveness in pop culture reference teachings.

STÉ: Right? This is spot on.

STÉ: Oh, I get MESSY with tequila. It's not pretty.

STELLA: He'd've been offended, honestly. Matty takes his pop culture references VERY seriously.

STELLA: I would consider getting lost in the Alps more often, but that seems like a lot of work just to get to pet a liquor-toting pupper, alas.

Dan: ... That's why you're my favourite sister.

Stella: I better be, I'm your ONLY sister, 😜

Stella Schuester ~ NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

Stella is far too lazy to get angry often, but when she does – stand back, her temper is a fiery as her hair. The quickest way to set her off is to go after someone she loves. As much as she gives Dan and Matt crap, she’s fiercely protective of them, and the gloves come off if she thinks they’re being insulted or mistreated. The protective wildcat extends to her friends, as well – she cannot stand seeing the people she loves hurt or upset, and she’ll go after the source of their unhappiness in a heartbeat, if she thinks it’s warranted. When she loses her temper, she loses it with surgical precision; sarcasm is her mother tongue, so she goes for the throat with every barb in her arsenal. Her memory is long, and she will hold a grudge until it’s old enough to get a job and move out on its own. (She’s working on that – it’s a process.)

Her perception of herself is also wildly complicated, to the point that she sometimes thinks she should be better adjusted, she’s a therapist, for god’s sake. Most of her inner conflict centers around her self-identity and her sexuality. She first started coming to terms with the fact that she was asexual (and later demisexual) in college, and being surrounded by horny co-eds her own age was maddening. Her first serious relationship during her junior year crashed and burned hard, and left her with the hopeless feeling that she was just… broken. There must be something wrong with her, if she didn’t want sex or feel that intense physical attraction others felt. It took her years of research and adjustment (and yes, therapy) before she reached a level of acceptance of her own sexuality. On a good day, she’s confident and independent and completely prepared to be her own woman without the crutch of a relationship that would only ask more than she’s willing to give, and she views the town’s sexual shenanigans with perplexed amusement.

On a bad day, she still feels broken, and terrified that she’ll have to spend the rest of her life alone.

Dan: HOW IS THERE NO GUN IN THERE STELLA? ITS PEW PEW NOT BOO BOO

Stella: BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE A SQUIRT GUN AND NOT A LASER BLASTER I HAVE STANDARDS DANIEL.

Matt: You should put that on a sweater vest for him! While I can be Daddy Dumbass and there can be a rainbow on it.

Matt: I woooooooould say go for it but I don't know if those kids will bunhandle him and he needs to be held with a lot of care.

Matt: I don't know about the good sister thing though. I SAW WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT ME!

Matt: There's probably bets in place when it comes to that! BUT give me SOME credit! We're halfway through July and are still engaged!

Stella: A SWEATER VEST. Jesus god Matty, no wonder Dad likes him so much, 😂

Stella: Most of them are good, but there'd be a liability issue with bringing live animals into sessions without prior approval from the parents, so that's a no-go. And I wouldn't do that to Buster.

Stella: I WRITE NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, MATT-TROLL.

You made me into a Troll doll!! and B could see this too, you know! 😂😂😂 im not granting you any wishes if you rub my diamond belly button

Madison: Better than, yes. More useful... ehhhhh.

Madison: We're focusing on dance moves until we can sing. That rhythmic dribbling is gonna take some work.

Stella: I have never in my life needed the quadratic equation. Probably doesn't apply to people in certain scientific and mathematic fields, but those people are superhuman anyway.

LIZZIE: I was gonna say weed and I realize I didn't have any in like, more than a month?

LIZZIE: YES. I need some grey dress and it has to be sparkly AT LEAST JUST A BIT RIGHT? OHH, doesn't she like shopping?

LIZZIE: THAT'S CAUSE IT'S SUMMER

STELLA: I’m pretty sure half the town spends at least half of their time high, but I may just have a skewed view of things from hanging with Bobbie too much.

STELLA: Are we talking gray with sparkle, or just... silver? Oh no, Mom’s good with shopping – she’s just sort of focused on MATT IS GETTING MARRIED WHAT and it hasn’t yet sunk in that she gets a seat of honor right up front.

1. Post a picture of yourself.

2. Already answered.

3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

No preference -- depends on who can put up with me, honestly.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Yes. Now, am I smiling because it’s polite, because I’m genuinely happy, or because I’m imagining the gruesome deaths of all my enemies? You decide.

6. How do you look right now?

It’s Bank Bar night, I look cute as hell.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

LBD and sky-high burgundy heels.

8. How often do you listen to music?

You guys have met my dad, right? Pretty much all the time, I don’t do well with silence.

25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

HA. Yes. I could be in a relationship for 6 months and not have sex at all.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Every crush ever.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Luna. Wait, does it have to be an actual person? Chloe, then. @sweetxchloe

28. Do you get sick often?

Nope. And I work with children, so you get to decide if that means I sold my soul somewhere along the line.

29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

Yes, Matthew. 😒 @mattschue

30. Does anyone hate you?

It wouldn’t surprise me. I’m very hateable.

20. Name something you have to do tomorrow.

Something about “puppy love” and “alcohol,” it’s on the tip of my tongue, 🤔

22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

…Yes?