CROWN OF THE MORALLY GREY
Itâs taken entirely too long to update this, my apologies. Iâve been chasing around my toddler while adjusting to having a newborn at home too! Hope you enjoy, itâs kinda short.
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Draco hadn't talked to her in days. He wasn't necessarily avoiding her, but he stayed silent, either emptily staring at nothing or looking pissed off. She heard him talking to Blaise, Theo, Crabbe and Goyle,; his usual group, but he'd go silent whenever she entered the room. The other boys had begun to notice and kept asking her what was going on, but she couldn't give them an answer. Usually, if she did something that upset Draco, he was loud about it. He'd seek her out to tell her how wrong she was, sometimes even causing a scene over it. His silence towards her was something unfamiliar, and it was driving her mad.
  Y/n had been known to have an angry outburst every now and then, but these past few days it'd gotten worse. Snarky comments and venom had been spit over virtually nothing. Pansy had been too loud one morning, something that Y/n had never cared about before, and she had lashed out. Blaise had reminded her they had double potions with the gryffindors, and she had "let him know" Pansy would never fuck him. Theo had asked how she was doing, and she put a leg locker jinx on him.
   Everyone was expecting her to lash out whenever she saw Draco at that point, but she hadn't. She'd stay quiet, staring at him and hoping he would at least fucking look at her. She'd gone over the previous days and couldn't think of anything she could have done to make him so mad at her. Surely Draco didn't care that she injured Potter, but that'd been the same night he had gone silent. She wasn't able to say a word to him at the beginning of the year ceremony, Pansy had taken up all of her hearing capabilities before Dumbledore had dragged her off. They hadn't fought enough during the summer to be it, and Draco had already stated whatever issue he had with her during that time anyway. Everything about him had changed after he said goodbye to his mother but she didn't know how that would effect how he felt about her.
   Her dorm looked like a tornado had gone through. All of her books thrown about the room, her pillows flattened by her fist, her trunk had been emptied and turned upside down. Y/n hair was a mess as well, her strands going in all kinds of directions from her hands running through it and tugging in anger. Luckily her dorm mates had taken note of her mood and had stayed away from the dorm, besides Pansy.
  "Bloody Hell, Snape. Whatd you do to our room?"
  "I didn't touch your things."
  "I appreciate that but..."
  "Just leave me alone Parkinson."
  "I wasn't asking." Y/n growled, staring at the mirror she kept on the wall beside her bed.
  Pansy moved to sit on Y/N's bed. After sleeping in the same Dorm as Y/n for years and slowly building a something close to a friendship, she'd gotten quite used to her anger, but the look on Y/N's face was different.
  Y/n didn't normally cry when she was mad but now her eyes were red, a bit of mascara smudged beneath them. Pansy had noticed the circles under Y/N's eyes on the train, but they were darker now.
  "This is so fucking stupid. I don't even know why he's mad at me." Y/n nearly laughed, her eyes not leaving her reflection.
  "He hasn't said anything?"
  "Nothing. Normally when he's mad at me, he tells me how I fucked up, but he isn't saying shit. It's been days Pansy." Her voice was returning to something Pansy recognized, pure anger with a laugh laced in.
   "It shouldn't bother me so much. It's like I'm having fucking-"
   "Withdrawals." Pansy finished. Y/n nodded.
  "It's so fucking stupid. He's just a boy. It's just fucking Malfoy. Pathetic fucking Malfoy."
  "You know he isn't just a boy."
  "That's even more pathetic."
  They stayed quiet for a moment. Pansy wasn't sure how to help and Y/n was attempting to calm herself down but it wasn't working. She kept picturing Draco which made her hands shake. Merlin she was so angry. The amount of control Draco had over her was disgusting. She kept glancing at her Soul Ring, where she felt a steady heartbeat. The same heartbeat she'd felt for days, steady. Did he not care? There hadn't been a single time the heartbeat had spiked, if he was angry surely it would. She could I only imagine his ring had been beating rapidly since Dumbledore pulled her into his office, and Draco didn't seem to care.
  How could he be effecting her this much? Everything felt hollow until someone spoke or breathed too loud or she was left alone for too long, then she felt as if everything was so small and weak and irritating compared to her. Her anger felt violent and as if it imbued her with some kind of superiority. As destructive as it was, it was a high she hadn't felt before. It made her feel powerful, everything besides her was fragile. Anger and Y/n were childhood friends, and it was slowly becoming a bad influence.
   She smiled as she looked in the mirror, eyes and nose red, hair a mess, a small chuckle escaping her lips.
  She punched the mirror.
  The sting in her knuckles was almost comforting, and she flexed her fingers a few times, eyes narrowing at the ring that still was beating steadily.
  Pansy sat in silence. She had flinched when Y/n punched the mirror, but wasn't entirely phased. If anyone was going to loose their shit, it didn't surprise her that it was Y/n.
   "You know, there's been a few new additions into my life recently. Questions mostly, and a lot of I don't fully understand." Y/n wiped her nose with the back of her hand, leaving a streak of blood across her face.
  "I fucking hate not knowing. But I thought, I thought I didn't have to questions anything to do with Draco." A chuckle resurfaced again.
  "I swore my life away, for him. My entire future is fucked, for him. And my father hasn't spoken to me in weeks."
  Pansy offered a hand at this point.
  "Talk to me about it."
  Y/n thought about it for a moment. Pansy should be someone safe to confess to. Pansy never hid the fact that she would be a Deatheater one day. She'd been as cruel to muggleborns in their early years as Draco had. Pansy had calmed the bullying back a bit in the past couple of years, but Y/n knew it still lurked in there. Y/n overheard her whispering about Deatheater boys and even defending them on occasion. Pansy wouldn't judge her, and could even become an allay if Y/n so wished. Despite how angry she was at him, Y/n wouldn't tell Pansy about Draco's involvement. She'd have to spin the truth a little, but Pansy would believe her wholeheartedly. Pansy seemed to see something in Y/n that some didn't, and held her on a pillar. No other girl could get away with spending so much time with Draco without Pansy hexing them like Y/n could. Pansy would even set up girls nights where all they did was giggle about was if Draco was flirting with Y/n or not. Pansy had never done anything harmful to Y/n, if anything she practically begged for them to be best friends.
Y/n looked at Pansy, searching her face and only finding that Pansy was genuine in her offer.
  "It's pretty dark, Panz."
  "I think I can handle it."
   "I have to kill Dumbledore."
   "You fucking WHAT?"
  Y/n explained as much as she could to Pansy. She'd told her that she had gotten assigned by Voldemort to kill Dumbledore, and that Voldemort had threatened that he'd have Draco killed if she failed. The beginning of which was a lie. She told her Narcissa had heard and was worried so she had made A Unbreakable Vow to Narcissa that she wouldn't fail so Draco would be safe. Another partial lie. Leaving out the part about her father being a double agent, she simply said Severus knew about the Vow and hadn't spoken to her since and that Dumbledore had somehow known about all of it.
  Pansy had stayed quiet and listened, her eyes widening sometimes. When Pansy shut up, she could be an awful good listener. Y/n had picked up her room as she talked, making note of the necklace she had previously emptied from her trunk and made sure not to touch it and only it's wrappings as she stashed it underneath everything else. When she had finished talking, Pansy breathed heavily, offered a smile and marched out of the dorm. Y/n followed, curious but ready to hex Pansy if a single word of their conversation slipped out of her mouth.
  Pansy had stormed down the stairs and into the common room where Draco was sitting in the chair he always sat, raising his head as Pansy entered and lowered it again when he saw Y/n. Pansy smacked him across the face.
   Draco's face contorted between stunned and anger. Y/n ring began to beat quickly.
  So Pansy gets a reaction, what a plague of a thought to crawl into Y/N's mind.
   "Stop being a mopey, pathetic git and talk to Y/n." There was demand in Pansy's voice that Y/n hadn't heard before, especially not when addressing Draco.
   "It's none of your business, Parkinson." Draco hissed, standing.
   "Actually it is. She's my friend and in case you haven't noticed, she's been losing her mind the past few days since you haven't even looked at her. Talk to her."
  Y/n simply watched, slightly amused and increasing grateful for Pansy.
  "Or what?" Draco scoffed as he folded his arms across his chest, clearing trying to come off as intimidating. Pansy smiled at him.
  "I'll ask her to be my girlfriend."
  Draco's eyes hardened even more than they already were, glaring down at Pansy.
  "We both know perfectly well you do, Malfoy."
   Y/n had remembered all the times Draco had conveniently showed up to scare away any one who showed interest in her, once resulting in a Ravenclaw boy being sent to the hospital wing covered in boils after he had asked Y/n to the Yule Ball. Y/n would have said yes and Draco had known it. Cedric Diggory had avoided her for weeks once after they had gotten Butterbeers together. Y/n wasn't entirely sure why, but she had a theory Draco had been behind it.
  Draco looked at Y/n, something he hasn't done since they got off the Hogwarts Express. His eyes were narrow, but Y/n felt her gaze soften. In order to glare at her it meant he was looking at her.
  "You're ridiculous Parkinson. Y/n wouldn't say yes to being your girlfriend." His stare returned to Pansy who smiled.
  "You never know. After the chat we just had all alone in our dorm, I think she might."
  Draco didn't respond and instead walked over to Y/n and roughly grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the common room and into the halls.
  He stayed silent, his hand had loosened its grip to a more comfortable pressure as he dragged her through the halls. Y/n hadn't a clue as to where they were going, her eyes too locked into his figure to pay attention. His shoulders were tense, his pace faster than usual and his hair while still styled, was less sleek than usual, the ends of it curling just a bit. The ring on her finger hadn't stopped beating quickly, a feeling she wasn't used to. In the hand he held, she could feel the quick heartbeat that was radiating from the ring he wore. Knowing Draco could feel her heartbeat in this moment would have been embarrassing if she wasn't too focused on him to think.
  Draco had pulled her up the astronomy tower and let go of her hand once they had reached the room inside it. It was twilight, the moon was encompassed by a slowly deepening lavender, the lighting outside turned Draco's hair the most delicate purple she'd ever seen. His skin was nearly glowing, he looked angelic again, Her Lucifer. He sighed heavily and clenched his jaw. Y/n was trying to grasp that this wasn't a dream.
If it weren't for the past few days, this could have almost been romantic. The way the setting sun highlighted the edges of the stone walls and turned the sky shades of peach and lavender could put someone in a trance. It was so quiet, far too quiet with the only sound being the muffled voices of students who were heading to dinner.
Draco still wouldn't looked at her.
