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@steedyy

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(by king_roberto)
(by Andrew Kodama)

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autumn in Vermont
I spoke with Taylor about how I’ve been feeling lately.
It went better than I thought it would, but I always think the worst in my head. I told her first that I wanted to leave my job come December so I can finish my last semester of school. I feel inadequate not working much already and I know I’ll feel even more so not working at all, but at least I’ll be on campus 5 days a week.
Then I told her how I’ve felt and how long it might’ve been going on. I got a pamphlet from my micro teacher about therapy that the school offers and I’m going to make an appointment. I feel like I’m not worth much since I’m both not absolutely acing through school (which is kinda weird since I’ve never done that) and because I’m not working much, and when I work, I have a horrible day. Every time.
I hate all of this and I was pissed off out of almost nowhere because I’m in this position. I went to the gym right after I started feeling that way and I feel way better.
I’m so lucky to have her in my life. She’s so supportive and so understanding. She just asked me to be more open with her and she’s fully aware how difficult that is for me.
Here’s to moving forward.

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I went to Cumberland Island with my old roommate, Nel, just last weekend. Woke up that morning, IBS in full flare-up, nauseous, didn’t eat or drink anything and then hiked 7+ miles with a 25lb backpack. Nel was a champ for that.
She wanted to do hammock camping, so I showed her how to set everything up properly. Don’t hate on how bad the rainfly is, it’s a horrible rainfly. My brother gave me some extra gear, including his old sleeping bag and backpack, so I gave those and more to Nel for her to use.
My legs are still sore and I need to do more cardio, but I had fun. It was just really far from just about everything, so I’m down to do a day trip there to see the ruins and explore the beach.
Big update?
Why not.