steve harrington whump is like crack to me

People also admit that they want to unfollow for these atrocities but they're also fascinated and don't want to miss them, or the day Eddie inevitably uploads his boyfriend's Eulogy.

Robin, who has been painfully holding her tongue because of how besotted Steve is with Eddie despite his culinary flaws, keeps trying to take him for food elsewhere, so he won't die of food poisoning and leave her alone at work and in life.

She can't keep ignoring it though, as Steve politely declines her offer of the best pizza in town with "Eddie's cooking something new tonight, I can't."

"All the more reason!"

"Huh?"

"Babe, please let me buy you some real food, I am begging you."

"Why? We got food last night, I paid, besides I just told you, Ed's cooking tonight, I can't let his hard work go to waste."

"He's going to poison you with his godawful cooking!"

"What are you talking about? I love Eddie's cooking!"

Robin stares at him for a second because... he's not lying, she knows when Steve is lying, he actually thinks the mushy dinosaur nuggets and sauce-less macaroni elbows Eddie fed him two days ago are good.

"What the fuck, Steve?"

"What the fuck to you too Rob, he's a great cook, I swear, come over tonight, he always does too much, you'll see!"

Robin wants to say no, why the hell would she want whatever monstrosity Eddie is cooking when he heats the pan with his smouldering good looks rather than a fucking burner, but she's starting to feel suspicious, either Eddie's abysmal cooking has rotted all of Steve's remaining braincells, or there's shenanigans afoot.

Half an hour later, Robin follows Steve with narrowed eyes as he strides into his apartment and hangs up his jacket,

"Ed? I'm home!" Steve even stops to sniff the air with a sigh. Robin gives a cursory sniff and, okay, it doesn't smell bad, she can smell something tomato-y, as well as seasoned meat, though there's definitely a cabbagey undertone she's not sure she trusts.

"In the kitchen, big boy!" Steve is about to announce they have a guest but Robin slaps a hand over his mouth, keeping her hand in place as Steve rolls his eyes and leads her through to the kitchen.

Eddie is washing a few pots when they walk in, Robin's hand slips from Steve's face as she approaches a bowl full of bright sauce and scrutinises it,

"Robin's here," Steve says before moving to pull Eddie into a cuddle from behind, "What's cooking?" They're disgustingly cute, Eddie turning in his arms and keeping his wet hands clear of Steve's sweater as they share a few little saccharine kisses.

Robin is ignoring them, moving on to investigating the light in the oven, crouching down to peer inside at... a shallow casserole dish full of little rolls of cabbage?

"Gowumpki!" Eddie declares, "You ever had it, Birdie? It's Polish." Eddie asks, disentangling himself from Steve's embrace and drying his hands,

"You can cook..." Robin says, distrustfully, but she steps back as Eddie approaches pulling on some bat covered oven gloves, Eddie gives her a knowing look.

"I told you he can cook, Robs..." Steve huffs, snagging a spoon from the draining board and moving to dip it into the sauce curiously, making a happy little noise as he tries it, "is there cream in this?"

"You know it, baby," Eddie sets the dish down, "now get the fuck outta my lair." he orders, gesturing with his mitts, Steve tosses his spoon in the sink and does as he's told, but Robin loiters.

"If you can cook, why do you keep posting weird shit online?"

"Cause it's funny."

Robin concedes the point, and agrees to keep Eddie's secret from the general public if he tells her where he's sourcing his outrageous meals.

It turns out Steve's little almost-brother, Dustin, has a roommate who needs to be studied, the kid is both a marvel of genetics and a godawful cook.