UNBELIEVABLE

“ no one sheds like this family, it’s like a bunch of chewbaccas. ” “ i hope they’re using protection because i am not taking care of that baby. ” “ this is what it sounds like when they have sex in the room next to mine. ” “ do you think cows should be ground up for food? ” “ frowny face? all I’ve been is super nice to you and this is the thanks i get? ” “ i loved you, i loved you like a horse, which is my favorite animal. ” “ so you’re not going to get revenge today? ” “ then i won’t bring your credit card… which i cut into a ninja star! ” “ word of advice: don’t tell them what you’re in for. ” “ when you say that, i feel like you’re trying to hurt my feelings. ” “ great. why don’t you learn something and become a lawyer. ” “ i will punch you. again, and again, and again, and again, and again— ” “ let’s release the lobster from whence it came! the supermarket! ” “ i just can’t stop banging things down here, the acoustics are great. ” “ wait, so, you you didn’t just throw a candy bar in the pool? ” “ i did a booze cruise through your living room! ” “ you’re supposed to love each other, not kill each other! ” “ if you think about it any box could have vibrators in it. ” “ we’re adrenaline junkies. we like our rides pure and uncut. ” “ on the plus side, there doesn’t seem to be any damage to the other car. ” “ for all we know, that was probably already there, right? ” “ because stress is making my hair fall out! look at me! ” “ puberty, puberty, puberty. that’s all i hear when you guys talk! ” “ fine! i don’t wanna play your dumb little game anyway. ” “ i’m gonna learn about sex from television, so i don’t need that from you either! ” “ look through the tube, see some boob! show some green, see some peen! ” “ we’ll have to cut down on expenses. what can we live without? ” “  i made it rain shrimp! what did youever do? ” “ your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it. ” “ i just wanna slap his / her hideous, beautiful face! ” “ i’m no hero. i put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else. ” “  i was going to punch you, but i’m holding wine. ” “ so i’m guessing you guys are not the top frat on campus. ”

“ each of his/her names has six letters? 6-6-6? ” “ everyone, i have a brief announcement to make. ” “ the only joy i get from these parties is standing around telling mean-spirited jokes. ” “ i’m… sorry about the whole, you know, my grandson shooting your grandson. ” “ why is his/her face all twisted up like that? ” “ looks like he jacks off with icy hot. ” “ now, are we gonna have that drink or what? ” “ vision? what do you know about my vision? ” “  my vision would turn your world upside down. ” “ now ask yourself, are you ready to see that vision? ” “ why does it always have to end up like this? ” “ maybe there are forces in this world we don’t understand. ” “ why don’t we go to college so we don’t end up like gangstalicious? ” “ i’m one of his/her many illegitimate children. ” “ what’s done is done. let’s be solution-oriented! ” “ don’t take this the wrong way, but… i need you to get the hell up outta here. ” “ game recognizes game and you’re looking kinda unfamiliar right now… ” “ english, motherfucker! do you speak it? ” “ i double dare you, motherfucker! say what one more time! ” “ i always say the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. ” “ the only way for me to get out of here is if you find who the real killer tonight. ” “ i’m ten! how am i gonna find the real killer! ” “ well, this is the apartment building where it all happened. ” “ well of course they’re shooting back at us! you’re robbing their store! ” “ need i remind you that this has nothing to do with our original plan? ” “ whoa, wait a minute now, put the gun down. ” “ i don’t know you, motherfucker! now put the weapon down! ” “ this motherfucker’s got a gun pointed at you! do you wanna die? ” “ i can’t give you a weapon i’m not holding! ” “ what, you don’t believe me? go ‘head! pull the trigger. ” “ why can’t we be ourselves, huh? why can’t i be me? ” “ that is not vomit, it just looks like vomit. ” “ whoa. this is what crack must feel like. ” “ what is wrong with letting people be happy? ” “ being the bigger man is overrated. ” “ i don’t ever wanna go to the movies with you again. ” “ you know, its okay to break the rules every once and a while. ” “ this isn’t an exorcism, its a beating. ” “ what website is that? madeupmonkeyshit.com? ” “ do you promise not to tell anybody? ” “ so, you guys don’t think i’m overreacting? ” “ you don’t look famous, what are you, an actor? ” “ if i were to piss on you right now would you a, smile and ask for more; or b, get the hell out of the way? ”

Giant Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie

Gold Star Cakes

Lemon Chicken Pesto Bowls

Almost Human, John Kennex.

random edit 137/?

is good for the soul.

Bones being 900% done with Jim