All In My Head

Headless woman needs head!

you ask him what it is and he shrugs. "i just want you to be good for me."

In the beginning, it was something we'd talk about well in advance, and the "dose" he'd give me was enough that I'd be heavy and sleepy while he toyed with me but not totally out — and I'd remember some, or all of the night before when I woke up.

Now, after a decade of him occasionally drugging and using me, it's not something we have to discuss ahead of time, and he's really, really dialed in the dose. It's been a long time since I've remembered one of those nights — not a glimpse, or a snippet, or a sensation. Nothing.

However... he's never drugged me without my knowledge — sometimes it's more of a surprise, him coming out of the bathroom and holding out a few pills for me to obediently take, but I've always known about it.

I do fantasize about that, though — him somehow slipping something into something I eat or bringing me sleeping pills instead of the tylenol I asked for, and then starting to feel that familiar heaviness... I'd notice him watching me more closely than usual, but wouldn't know why until my mind began to get foggy.

I wonder if I'd really recognize what was going on, or if it would happen too quickly and I'd get too confused and fuzzy before I could put the pieces together. I can imagine him pulling me against his chest and rubbing my back, lulling me into deep sleep as he murmured what a good girl I am, that I can let go, that he'll take good care of me...

...and then suddenly, it would be the next morning.