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FREE PALESTINE — daily click, and read these: one / two / three. it took you a few clicks to get on tumblr and read; you can surely click & read through these.

favorite ellie ficcccccc...

im picky! its part of the reason i started writing for her myself because sometimes i have an itch that cant be scratched...

just imagining the amount of details i need to add to my fic already gives me migraines. - 🪵

dontttt compare urself. im kind of talking out of my ass because i do it too honestly but...... new years resolution?? we making a pact??? anyway 16k+ is crazy im actually jealous 😂😂 hi. im jealous

i just try not to let myself (TW HOT TAKE) get used to writing very short, low hanging fruit types of stuff. frequently, at least. like its an easy thing to slip into (at least for me. im a lazy gal.) so i try to encourage and push myself to keep my works somewhat, even a little bit, more detailed and lengthy. But also appropriately and not just word vomit nothingburger too. u get me

‘i cling to aus cuz i neeeed to see and write her as a girl just navigating life/crushes/young adulthood being a total dweeb and soooo unbelievably easy to talk to. like. she, in my eyes, is the definition of friend crush turned into crush crush!!!’ i couldn’t agree more like (yap sesh my bad) ellie is genuinely so complex and we can see the way the energy inside her nearly withers throughout the game. like yes , as she grows from a teenager into an adult she will change and she will have hardened more, grown out of that ‘childlike wonder’ or the same excitement one would have in their adolescence but that, alone, isn’t the primary factor contributing to why she changed and how much so. it was everything she’d been through, that trauma and all the loss she’s suffered has ‘drained’ or ‘worn out’ the life out of her. tlou2 is a journey through grief, we never get to see ellie live life as an adult without it, all we have of her authenticity or her most natural, undisturbed element, is when she was 14-17.

grief and revenge completely alter someone’s brain and persona, they’ll mechanise differently. ellie is still herself, but because of the emotional hits she took, a part of her died and remained dead throughout the game, so we can’t see HER, we just see her process of grief. she went on a spree and we can see she wasn’t herself due to her impulsivity, lack of feeling of control, depression, etcetera.

people regain themselves through recovery and we don't see ellie recover, the game ended at her acceptance

so, that being said, i do feel like because trauma and grief overshadowed ellie's personality through adulthood. people took her struggling character and assigned it to her core as her being ‘dominant, cold, authoritative’, because she acts in a kindred way during her journey of revenge, and we don’t see much of the ‘old ellie’ shine through. grief and anger eliminated her softer aspects, and therefore when she’s written in fics and all, they mischaracterise her :((((. but grief is a process !!! a process that ends , and it will inevitably change someone , but she’s still herself at the end of the day !!!!

ellie is still very much so that soft, sweet, sassy, funny, sarcastic, stubborn, dorky and goofy girl we all know n love!!!! just very wounded so we don’t see it as much !!!

so in AUs where joel is alive and ellie isn’t living that same, horrible, post-apocalyptic life, i realllyyyyy wanna see her being HERSELFFFF,,, not all rough and hard and daddy dom etc stawwwwp shes so sweeeeet… i neeeed to see her happy and dorky and i neeeed to see her living a normal life and get that fluff and stuff like she is SSSOOO classroom crush . she is ssooo ‘that pretty girl that sits across from you’ !! shes so friend crush, best friend, etc,,,, like Yes she’s gonna be more mature, reclusive, seductive even, dom whatever, cuz she’s grown, but people take that and run too far with it sometimes @_@ i just wanna see my girl happy and living how she would without all the stress and pain. shes strong and tough but also a little nerd

thats why i LOOOVEOEO your fic so much cuz we can still see her personality morphing as she grows, but she still has that essence that is just sssoo ‘her’

my thoughts were soo disorganised writing tjis but YOU GET WHAT I MEEEAAANNNNN (i hope)

- 🪷

how have you been? missed you actually. i read your phone broke—what happened?? are you all good? and i’m sure the fic gonna be yum-yum

HI! ⭐️

im okay. kind of all over the place ;P i just dropped it a bunch of times at work and finally the display went out and it's like, fully functional, but the screen itself is all blacked out and there's a bunch of lines everywhere... it's quite hilarious honestly