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Bat!sib: Hey, you want a tarot reading?

Tim: Those are Pokemon cards.

Bat!sib: You got a magikarp.

Tim:

Bat!sib: It means 'fuck you'.

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Bat!sib: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?

Cass: Your life?

Bat!sib: I- well yes, but-

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Bat!sib: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.

Jason: Bat!sib, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck.

Bat!sib: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.

Jason: Well, I mean yeah.

Bat!sib: So come downstairs while they’re still hot.

Jason: Wait, you just made them?

Bat!sib: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.

Jason: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Bat!sib.

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Jason: Okay, can we all stop saying stupid shit for a moment, please?!

Tim: Alright.

Bat!sib: Hey, I-

Jason: SHUT UP!

Bat!sib: I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY SENTENCE!!

Tim: It was bound to be stupid.

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Bat!sib: What does a winner do when life gives them lemons?

Dick: Um, make lemonade?

Bat!sib: No, they squeeze them right back into life’s eyes!

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Tim: Bat!sib, are you drinking… drinking hydrogen peroxide?!  

Bat!sib: It says H2O2! That means it’s the sequel to water!

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Steph: Hey, Bat!sib? I need advice.

Bat!sib: I’m pretty useless at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?

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Bat!sib: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.

Tim: But are you shuffling?

Bat!sib: Everyday.

Bruce: What language are you two speaking??

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Dick: Act natural. 

Bat!sib: For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic. 

Dick: NO, that’s not what I meant! Act like it’s a normal day!  

Bat!sib: My ‘normal’ days of late, consist of a lot of panic.  

Dick: Will you just cooperate?  

Bat!sib: When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!

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Bat!sib: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? 

Jason: If you say "addict-ionary" I swear I will cut you.  

Bat!sib: I was actually going to say "high definition", but your answer's much better.  

Jason:

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Bat!sib: Ladies, gentlemen and Dick, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld!

Steph: A llama?

Bat!sib: No.

Steph : A baby llama?

Bat!sib: No!

Steph: A baby llama with a little hat on?

Bat!sib: NO!

Bat!sib: Tim, we tried things your way.

Tim: No, we didn't.

Bat!sib: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

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Dick: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?

Jason: IT.

Steph: Annabelle.

Tim: Paranormal Activity.

Bat!sib: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

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Dick: You’re such a dumbass (affectionate).

Bat!sib: Aww, you’re such a whore (complimentary).

Jason: How are you talking like that in real life?

Bat!sib: Witchcraft (derogatory).

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Dick: Why are you guys acting like this?

Bat!sib: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

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•18+ Adults Only

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Bat!sib: Can I borrow five dollars?

Tim: If you’re only borrowing it, does that mean you’ll pay me back?

Bat!sib: Of course.

Bat!sib: Not directly, but with my love and affection.

Tim: So that’s a no.

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Bat!sib: You know, there’s something weird going on with your face?

Bruce: What?

Bat!sib: You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that?

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