greek gods as @dril quotes
zeus: how come a baby born with a foot in its brain is considered a "Miracle Baby" but when I get my dick stuck in a drawer im just some asshole
poseidon: my body is 70% water mother fucker. guns cannot harm me
hades: I will tell you this right now: I’m from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally
hera: "horny" has killed more people than all the volcanos on earth combined
athena: and to the guy who said i have shit for brains: youre right. i do have... four brains..........
artemis: Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You are all blocked. None of you are free of sin
apollo: i just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
hephaestus: back in the dog house after the wife caught me photo shopping her into vintage car ads
persephone: "i wish they got, WiFi down here" - guy who died in the paris catacombs
dionysus: "sir, can i ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?"
"officer, I'm..."
*turns to camera*
"double jointed"
*cop starts breakdancing*
ares: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer
hermes: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
aphrodite: looks like im forced to address false rumors that i own 3 dildos on a shelf labelled "breakfast" "lunch" & "dinner". this is an absurdity .
