suave

i’ve been trying to figure out the right words to say for this post but, really, it doesn’t matter because what can be said that already hasn’t been? i began writing it before the confirmation from sm as something generalized, as a way to tell shawols to lean on each other during this difficult time and that much is going to get obvious as you make your way through to the end. this isn’t going to be eloquent because i’m still in shock. not in denial but shock and i feel like i’ll never be able to properly express what jonghyun not only meant to me but to all shawols and every fan of korean pop. 

jonghyun was a special person. he was kind and compassionate and he always did his best to make sure that those around him were happy, no matter who it was. he wasn’t perfect but he always went out of his way to fix anything he did wrong and he was constantly trying to better himself. he was always growing and learning. he fought for people who do not have as much of a voice in korea like the lgbt community and those in poverty. he dedicated his life to doing good and making shawols and those who loved him happy and proud. he gave so much to us and he never hid that he was struggling. he gave us so much in the last nine years and we can give back to him by keeping his memory intact in the way that he would have wanted us to: by supporting the other members, by supporting those closest to him, by remembering his music and by remembering the time that he spent with shinee. he fought hard and he did well and that’s what i’m going to be left with, despite the massive ache that i feel in my chest. i don’t know what else to write to justify him or how great of a person he was so i’ll leave it at that.

please keep his mother, older sister, jinki, kibum, minho and taemin in your thoughts along with all the other people that he is closest to. this is difficult for us but it’s just as difficult for them. please refrain from leaving anything but caring and supportive messages on their social networking accounts, if you leave any at all. 

as i said in my earlier post: i don’t really know what to say right now. i’m still in shock but i want everyone to know that we’re all in this together. i ask everyone to please take some time for themselves in the midst of all of this. please take care of yourself and those around you - whether it be simply talking to them or hugging them if you’re physically able to. also remember that if you need to take some time away from everything this is nothing wrong with that. you need to keep yours. i’m not going to close or delete this blog. i’m always going to be a fan of shinee. i’m just don’t feel right posting content on here when we’re all going to be in mourning. so, for the time being it’s on indefinite hiatus but it’ll always be around as a archive and as dedication to his life.

(150112) @realjonghyun90 

photos I received

standing up for lgbt students and minorities at large by amplifying their voices, but doing so respectfully (dec 2013)

reflecting on his appreciation for hero movies… ‘i have to protect my world’ (mar 2013)

receiving boxes of listerine after a joke comparing his deja-boo suit colors to listerine flavors went viral, during base promotions (feb 2015)

comforting a fan who was self-conscious about her name with a handwritten note at a shinee fansign (may 2015)

going to comfort a crying key during shinee’s concert at tokyo dome, but ending up crying himself (early 2015)

speaking playfully with a male listener on blue night radio (may 2015)

mentioning his gratitude for fans and listeners in creating a safe space with blue night radio (july 2015)

discussing his conversation with taemin about “gender roles, prejudices and negative views about artists, etc.” when writing pretty boy for taemin ft. kai on blue night radio  (aug 2015)

personally supporting radio guest baek young ok on blue night radio in her efforts to bring sanitary pads to low-income girls (mar 2017)

sombody cares. somebody always cares. don’t forget that 

stop checking if they read your message, watched your story or liked your pic. these people aren’t worth your time

if you won’t turn your music louder because you think somebody is gonna hear it throgh your earphones just ask yourself: who cares? blast that music

say thank you instead of I’m sorry  

stop comparing yourself to her. you’re magic in your own way, don’t compare christmas lights to a flower 

stop caring so much about others and what they think. start doing what you reallly want

never let you tell to calm down. you have every right to be angry

just start. it’s the most difficult thing but one time you started it’ll be easier

do not ever call yourself ugly. you’ll never see yourself how you really are

self love is one of the most important things. how to do it 

drink enough water. clearer skin, no headaches, more energy

do not forget how strong you are. if you’re still living in this world you are strong

no one else know what they’re doing either

people are to busy worrying what others think about them to have time judging you

buy yourself a big, cozy bathrobe. you’ll thank me later

fake it ’til you make it 

how people act when you’re not on good terms says a lot about them

don’t interpret so much in everything. not everything is ~deep~

be enthusiastic. life is more fun like that

be kind to people when you meet them but take no shit if they aren’t

you were cute before anyone told you

you don’t have to be pretty