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Aries: You tried to control them, you tied them down. You always rained on their parade or made it all about you. You made them feel like you needed them too much. They couldn’t reciprocate your feelings. They were bored. You were always arguing and they felt like you didn’t listen to them. 

Taurus: You didn’t need them. You didn’t pamper them. You didn’t wait for them to catch up with you, you made them feel like a second or third option instead of a first choice. You pressured them. They felt ignored. They felt unattractive. The relationship exhausted them. 

Gemini: You were clingy. You didn’t understand them, they couldn’t communicate with you. You couldn’t keep up with them. They felt like the relationship was losing its spark. They loved someone else. You loved them too deeply and smothered them. They were confused and lost.

Cancer: You didn’t try to understand them. You didn’t care about their stories of the past. You blamed them for your mistakes. They felt unloved and unneeded. They were in love with their ex. You made them feel like they were shouting at a brick wall. They were afraid they would hurt you.

Leo: You didn’t listen to them. They couldn’t make you laugh. They felt ugly and boring around you. They got jealous. You made fun of them too much, you belittled them, you made them feel like everything was their fault. You were bossy. They wanted to be the sun, but you were an eclipse. 

Virgo: You didn’t appreciate them. You didn’t respect them. They felt worthless, they felt misunderstood. They felt used. They loved you more than you loved them. You were clingy or demanding. You couldn’t appreciate their quiet, serving way of showing love. 

Libra: The relationship lost the honeymoon feeling. You tried to control them or keep tabs on them. You asked for too much from them. They got tired of trying to please you. They felt like you didn’t appreciate their efforts to keep you happy. They were falling for another. You walked all over them, so they got up and walked away.

Scorpio: They couldn’t trust you. You didn’t trust them. You judged them. They loved you more than you loved them. You were careless with your words. You kept secrets. They were suspicious of your loyalty. You didn’t understand them. They thought you were shallow or superficial. 

Sagittarius: You tried to keep them too close. You didn’t let them go where they wanted. You were stingy and materialistic. They didn’t see you in their future. You pressured them to think about the future. You didn’t respect their opinion. They found you small-minded. They didn’t love you as much as you loved them. 

Capricorn: You didn’t give them space. They were busy with school or work. You were too needy, too demanding, required too much reassurance. You didn’t support their interests or career. They didn’t feel appreciated and understood. You made them feel like they were being pulled in many different directions, and they felt tired and stretched to the limit. 

Aquarius: You didn’t have any common interests. You were needy or clingy. You didn’t appreciate the things they did for you. They needed to be alone. You made them feel small. You couldn’t help yourself, you expected too much of them. They felt unneeded. They had a greater calling from somewhere else. You didn’t like their individuality.

are you insane like me? been in pain like me? cancer 

bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me? taurus 

just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me? sagittarius 

would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me? capricorn 

are you high enough without the mary jane like me? pisces 

do you tear yourself apart just to entertain like me? virgo 

do the people whisper ‘bout you on the train like me? leo 

saying that you shouldn’t waste your pretty face like me? libra 

are you deranged like me?are you strange like me? aquarius

lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me? aries 

do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me? scorpio 

the kid with the knife: taurus, sagittarius, cancer, LEO

that last girl: scorpio, gemini, libra

aries:

taurus:

gemini:

cancer:

leo:

virgo:

libra:

scorpio:

sagittarius:

capricorn:

aquarius:

pisces:

The Seventh House is the house of partnership, and in this house is where we form relations with another, whether that be a lover, a close friend or even a business partner. It is the fusion of two hearts, where your identity becomes lost in the elixir of someone else and is influenced by the planets in that house. Understand that not all will have a planet there, but the sign on the house cusp is an indicator as to your attitudes to that house.

Sun in the Seventh House- Those with their Sun in the seventh house will need to invest their ego and their identity in that person with which they have a partnership, and they are known to be people to actively seek out a lover or a companion, looking for their self expression in the face of another. This can also be an immensely joyous position, where the Rays of the sun shine down and grace you both with the joy and the vitality of creation and life together.

Moon in the seventh House- Those with their Moon in the seventh house will be emotionally invested in partnerships, and often do not enter relationships lightly. They are knows to be somewhat changeable, very much affected by the waxing and waning of the Moon in relationships, yet cast their lunar spell only when their subconscious has truly found a match made in the Moon Lagoon. Their insides will become thoroughly tide to whoever they let have their heart.

Mercury in the seventh House- Those with their Mercury in the seventh house will need an intellectual relationships and rapport with those they enter partnerships with, and often prefer a somewhat light and airy take on partnerships. To truly have their heart bloom, their mind needs to be awakened and stimulated, and the written world or more interesting forms of communication can do just this. They may be somewhat flighty, yet be attracted to those with eccentric and intelligent minds. 

Venus in the seventh House- Venus here truly invests their heart and their sense or companionship in this house, a fitting home for such a blood pumping planet of romance. They may be somewhat idealistic when searching for that one to share their life with, and may look at the ones they love through rose tinted glasses. Venus here needs completely shattering love, someone to have and to hold for a lifetime, and they may somewhat feel incomplete until they find this very person. 

Mars in the Seventh House- Mars in the seventh House creates someone who needs passion, aggression and to some extent, conflict when it comes to a partner, and may even enjoy this to some degree. They may find that they willingly, or unwillingly enter turbulent relationships, yet sometimes enjoy the thrill of this expression, feeling their blood boil over in both rage and passion. Love is not a frivolous affair with this placement, but rather full of lighter fluid ready to flame at the slightest of disturbances. 

Jupiter in the Seventh House- Jupiter here suggests that expansion and freedom are themes of the seventh house, where whoever this person joins with needs room to spread their wings. They may meet their personal growth through someone else, someone who can make them see the bigger picture and take them away from the niggling little worries. Those with Jupiter here find their magic carpet to higher learning and dimensions through the ones they love.

Saturn in the Seventh House- Those with Saturn in the seventh house will find that they feels somewhat restricted and closed off when it comes to finding that special someone who they trust to cradle their hearts. Their chars lessons are in this house, yet once they overcome Saturn’s harsh rules, this placement indicates lifelong partnerships and a certain wisdom when it comes to the people around them. Saturn can be tiresome here, yet patience will reward them with the most flourishing of relationships in time.

Uranus in the Seventh House- Those with this placement will understand love and partnership to feel like an ice cold bucket of water thrown over their heads as the planet of sudden change and revolution demands an eccentric and odd circumstance when it comes to how they find partners. They will truly need to utmost freedom in relationships and any possessiveness will not be tolerated. This is where the one they will give their hearts to will whip out a defibrillator and shock them back to life.

Neptune in the Seventh House- Those with Neptune here will suffer from illusionary partnership and love interests where they often drift away into delirium when it comes to the ones they care for. They will truly hold them up on a pedestal, only to find that the ones they thought cared may just be a mirage of a person. Neptune here wants you to drift into the metaphysical, into insanity, and this placement is known to deliver soul shattering expectations of love, and sometimes, even actual love once reality is attempted to be restored.

INFJ

INFJs often have a very unique and interesting sense of humor. Since they are so kind and warm people expect them to have a very innocent sense of humor, but that is usually not true. INFJ be often be crude of even morbid with their jokes. They have a caring nature but people are often shocked by the type of things that the INFJ find funny. They can find humor in situations that other people would never imagine to be funny at all. The INFJ may slightly alter their humor delivery in front of others, depending on who they are around. They are acutely aware of those people will perceive them, and know what crowd they are sharing themselves with. When they are with someone who they can open up with, they have a way of bringing them into their infectious style of comedy.

ENFJ

The ENFJ has a sense of humor that is often molded to fit their surroundings. They know exactly how their jokes will be perceived by certain people, and know who will be offended. So they often avoid upsetting people and will tone themselves down in front of certain company. Their natural sense of humor is often very goofy and silly, and they may have an affinity for sarcasm. They can have a somewhat dark humor and are aware that, that isn’t perceived well by everyone. They enjoy having people that they can share their full sense of humor with. When they do they are often sarcastic and silly, and enjoy making others laugh.

INFP

INFPs often have a strong appreciation for sarcasm and absurd humor. They have a skill for self-deprecating comedy that people absolutely love. They are often very funny individuals, to the people who can fully appreciate their off-beast sense of humor. They have a very unique wit that is best expressed around people they are comfortable with. Not everyone can enjoy the zany and sometimes ridiculous INFP humor, but honestly that is their loss. INFPs have a way of getting people laughing and not letting them stop. They enjoy the ability to bring others joy and humor is an excellent way to do that.

ENFP

ENFPs often have a very enthusiastic and playful sense of humor. They have a very colorful wit and often have a strong enjoyment for the use of puns. They may occasionally offend people when they are really just trying to make them share in their laughter. They have a way of teasing others, and that is actually a way of showing affection towards them. ENFPs enjoy their ability to laugh and smile at everything, even the darkest situations. Even though they aren’t always “silly” they do tend to maintain a sense of humor through anything. They have a way of making even the dullest situations hilarious. This keeps the ENFP positive and helps those that surround the ENFP enjoy themselves too.

INTJ

INTJs often have a very snarky sense of humor. They enjoy using sarcasm and wit to create a well devised response. They have a natural way of seeing the humor in things that other people may actually miss. INTJs often enjoy the use of a good pun and can take pleasure in the skill behind it. Often their deadpan sarcasm can come across as serious, when the INTJ is actually very playful and just trying to be funny. For the people that appreciate the INTJs brand of humor, they understand just how fun they are to be around.

ENTJ

ENTJs can have a somewhat outrageous sense of humor. They enjoy pushing the envelope to gauge the different reactions they will receive from others. They aren’t afraid of being seen as ridiculous, so they often push the limits of what others may perceive as funny. They enjoy shock humor, and have a way of surprising their friends that often makes them enjoy being around the ENTJ. They are often very quick with wit and can respond to people before they even realize a joke is coming. They may have a somewhat crude sense of humor that might offend some people who cannot appreciate it.

INTP

INTPs have a very unique sense of humor, one that is either adored or misunderstood. Some people are not made for the brand of sarcasm and goofy wit that the INTP possess. The people that do appreciate the INTP sense of humor probably find themselves in stitches rather often. They have a way of turning just about anything into a sarcastic punchline and are very good are creating a witty retort. They often enjoy the usage of puns in their humor as well. INTPs have a diverse sense of comedy that really just depends on the mood they are in. They do know their target audience rather well and are skilled at adapting to that if they so choose.

ENTP

ENTPS have a very outgoing and over the top sense of humor. They enjoy the use of shock which can be somewhat crude. Because of this the ENTP occasionally have a sick or morbid timing for their jokes, but the people who know them well understand where they are coming from. They will explore the jokes that other people wouldn’t dare touch because it is “too far”. For people who appreciate this dry and crude type of humor, the ENTP is a fantastic friend to have around. They enjoy making people laugh and enjoy being as witty and inclusive as possible.

ISTJ

ISTJs are often seen as too serious to enjoy humor, but that is definitely not the case. Many people may miss the humor behind the ISTJs comments, because their delivery is very sarcastic and dry. Sometimes their ability to maintain a very deadpan delivery of their jokes, can cause people to miss the joke completely and believe that the ISTJ is being serious. For people who can pick up on their unique brand of wit, they realize just how funny the ISTJ can actually be. Their subtle delivery of humor is an art-form.

ESTJ

ESTJs often have an outgoing and adaptive sense of humor. They are often crude and offbeat and not everyone can appreciate their no holds barred style of jokes. People who are more serious or easily offended, definitely will not enjoy the ESTJs sense of humor. If someone is more laid-back and willing to see the jokes for what they are, they will definitely appreciate the way the ESTJ can make just about anything funny. When the ESTJ is uncomfortable they often make jokes to lighten the own mood.

ISFJ

ISFJs often have a surprising sense of humor, one that doesn’t always fit their day-to-day personality. They may shock people with a very sarcastic and inappropriate joke, with the absolute best timing. Their humor might be very silly sometimes, like changing the lyrics to a song or intentionally mispronouncing a word. They enjoy puns and sarcasm and may even enjoy dirty humor that people would find surprising to their gentle personality. They are careful not to offend or upset anyone, so they often reserve their unique humor for the people closest to them who can fully understand where they are coming from.

ESFJ

ESFJs are capable of enjoying many different kinds of humor and often adapt their jokes to fit their surroundings. They are capable of reading what others will find funny and often attempt to blend into that. When they are around the people they are most comfortable with their personal style of humor is more openly expressed. ESFJs appreciate puns a great deal and enjoy witty and often surprising humor. They often aren’t pleased with dark or upsetting humor, and can feel like jokes that bring people down are cruel. They do however, enjoy a good dirty joke and can often laugh at the silliest things. ESFJs enjoy laughter very much, and probably favor being in a relationship with someone that they find hilarious.

ISTP

ISTPs often enjoy the use of irony and dark humor very much. They keep to themselves and have a very internal sense of humor. People are often very pleased by the ISTPs jokes and enjoy being around them. They enjoy the use of wordplay and often make their humor interesting and thoughtful. They have a dry delivery most of the time and are extremely deadpan, which can offend some people who misinterpret them. And let’s not forget, they enjoy a good sexual innuendo.

ESTP

ESTPs have an often goofy and unique sense of humor. They find the silliest things funny and can appreciate laughing at things that others scoff at. They enjoy having fun and bring that sense of excitement into their humor. They aren’t afraid of being self-deprecating and enjoy making other people laugh in whatever way is possible. They can often flip from silliness to downright dry humor, and it really just depends on the mood that they are in. They don’t like to stick to one simple style of humor and can appreciate just about anything for what it is. This style of joking makes the ESTP very fun to be around.

ISFP

ISFPs can have a very broad sense of humor and often find many different styles funny. They enjoy silliness and can sometimes be absolutely ridiculous and hard to follow. They often only share this unique side of themselves around certain people who can fully appreciate it. They are very good at being self-deprecating and can laugh at the goofy things that they do. They often tease their friends about similarly goofy actions but are good at doing it in a lighthearted way. ISFP enjoy a good inside joke and love being able to share that laughter with someone special. The people who do not know them closely, probably don’t get to see just how funny the ISFP can be.

ESFP

Aries: Highkey jealous about everything/everyone. Comes off as a badass but is surprisingly overprotective of you.

Taurus: Worries about eVERYTHING they say or do. is probably always asking their friends how to reply to text messages.

Gemini: “do I really like them OR IS THIS JUST ANOTHER PHASE. Am I really ready for commitment?? do I really need this stress in my life rn??”

Cancer: “Why aren’t they texting back itS BEEN .010137 SECONDS OH MY GOD THEYRE GOING TO BREAK UP WITH ME”

Leo: “ok but we’re like the cutest couple ever”

Virgo: internally screaming 24/7

Libra: internally screaming bc they want to kiss you 24/7

Scorpio: sexts u nonstop

Sagittarius: wait a minute HOW DO YOU “RELATIONSHIP” agAIN?? I can’t do this nvm I give up

Capricorn: “Sorry I kind of suck at this whole…liking somebody…thing..”

Aquarius: “For the love of God just leave me ALONE FOR 2 SECONDS. you’re great and all but I need some ME TIME.”