s

albert and race have been friends since even before they could remember. they've seen each other go through everything - race crying and screaming when he lost his first baby tooth; albert coming home seething with rage from his first fight with boys who thought it would be okay to pick on his friends; race going through his first break-up; and, most recently, albert getting extremely stoned the night before high school graduation and coming to the ceremony barely holding himself together.

one thing that's remained consistent throughout the years is their super special, super serious swear. what's that? well, let's take a look.

age five

albert dasilva sniffles as he sits on the rug in the corner of the classroom, absent-mindedly playing with some of the toys scattered across the floor. grandma told him he'd have lots of fun and make lots of friends his first day, but so far, that hasn't happened.

he gets startled when two small fingers snap directly in front of him, and he looks up with confusion and tears in his eyes, mumbling a small huh?

a boy about his age with curly blond hair and bright blue eyes with a smile even brighter returns his gaze, sitting down directly across from him. his grin grows wider and he holds his hand out to shake, like how their teacher had taught them to properly introduce themselves. following those same instructions, he says, "hi!! my name's anthony. what's your name?"

albert tries to recall the next phrase their teacher had demonstrated, and does his best. he shakes the boy’s hand and replies, "h-hi, anthony... my- um... i'm albert."

"nice to meet you, albert!"

albert feels the smallest hint of a smile grow on his face. "nice to meet you, too, anthony."

"do you wanna be friends? i wanna be friends so you can call me tony, 'cause all my friends call me tony."

albert smiles wider and nods. "i'd love to be friends."

anthony - no, tony, because they’re friends now - gasps. "if we're gonna be friends, we're gonna have to keep secrets. we have to invent a special secret promise so you know i wont tell your secrets and i know you won't tell mine!"

"w-wow... um.. okay..."

"gimme your hand."

"what?"

"gimme your hand, albie!"

"albie...?"

tony nods. "it's your nickname! you know how tony is my nickname? it's like a short version of your real name or something."

albert smiles softly,,, “my nickname. i... like that. it sounds nice.”

“yay!!” tony giggles and claps, and albert chuckles softly before giving his new friend his hand.

tony grins widely and adjusts the way albert has his hand outstretched, so that his palm is facing forward as if he’s about to receive a high-five. then he presses his palm flat to albert’s, laughing quietly at the small size difference of their hands, with albert’s being smaller. as he does this, he says, “okay, so when i do this... you sort of, um...”

not quite sure how to explain it, race laces his fingers through albert’s and squeezes his hand gently. “you do that. and if you put your hand on my hand, then i do that. okay?”

albert smiles and nods. “okay.”

age eight

“anthony,” tony’s mother speaks soothingly as she cleans the blood and dirt off and around the scrape on his knee. he sniffles and whimpers softly in response. when he flinches at the slightest touch on his thigh, she turns to albert, who’s looking at his best friend in concern.

“how did he fall, honey?”

albert turns to face elisa higgins, nervously fidgeting with the hems of his sleeves. “he was racin’ me from the bus stop to see who could get here the fastest but he tripped on the way...”

“it’s never happened before,” tony speaks up suddenly, wiping his tears away. “i race ‘im here every day, mama...”

“maybe some days you should just slow down, tonio,” elisa warns subtly, the only actual sign of a warning being the italian variation of his nickname.

“o-okay...”

elisa sighs softly and asks tony to show the hand he scraped so she can clean it up and bandage it, too. 

when doing so, he outstretches his other hand to albert, palm-up. albert looks at him strangely. 

“super special, super serious swear that you’ll always be there to pick me up when i fall, like ya did today,” tony says sternly as he locks eyes with albert.

albert chuckles as he presses his palm to his friend’s. “that’s what we’re naming it?”

“you got any better ideas, albie?” tony smiles slightly and intertwines their fingers.

“nah... you got me there,” albert grins and squeezes tony’s hand. “we should start callin’ you racetrack or somethin’, you know, ‘cause you like racin’ so much.”

“albert, that’s actually really genius,” elisa chuckles. albert grins proudly, and tony snorts.

“actually, i kinda like that... racetrack,” he says with a smile.

“racetrack it is!” albert exclaims triumphantly. 

 elisa smiles softly as the boys dissolve into a fit of laughter and snorts.

age thirteen

the all-too-familiar loud crackle of thunder rings outside the window, eliciting a broken sob from race as he wraps his arms around his knees and trembles on his side of the bed. it’s late at night - four in the morning, maybe - and albert’s asleep beside him, snoring loudly. while that’s usually the thing keeping race awake during their sleepovers, the sound seems faint tonight; distant, almost nonexistent compared to the ringing in his ears. 

the world is spinning around him, vision fading in and out of complete darkness as nausea builds up in his stomach. he’s positive that if he opens his mouth he’s going to vomit. but a cough comes out instead, evidently violent and loud enough to wake albert. he sits up and frowns.

“racer?”

race shakes his head, breaths coming out quick and short, getting concerningly more rapid.

“shit,” albert breathes. he turns to face race and grips his shoulders gently. “racer... tony. tonio, listen to me. can you hear me? can you look at me? look at me, please,” he requests softly. race drags his gaze up to meet albert’s, and shakily, he extends a hand. albert takes it and squeezes it, lacing his fingers through race’s.

“super special, super serious swear i’m here for you. i’ll always be here for you,” albert assures him. “breathe for me, tony? in for four, out for four. go slow. take your time. here, do it with me.”

albert begins inhaling slowly for four beats of silence, then lets go of the breath just as slowly for another four. he does it a few times before race manages to follow along with him, mimicking his actions carefully, tightening his grip on albert’s hand so much so that his knuckles turn white. albert winces slightly at the feeling, but adjusts quickly.

after a few minutes, race’s breathing begins to normalize, and his hold on his best friend’s hand loosens. his vision becomes less hazy and the awful feeling building up in his throat and stomach starts to fade. he closes his eyes for a few seconds before sighing slowly and blinking. 

“thank you, albie... i love you,” he whispers.

“i... yeah, you’re- you’re welcome, race.” albert smiles softly, ignoring the strange flutter-like feeling in his chest after hearing race say ‘i love you.’ he figures it’s just because it feels nice to hear anyone say that, so he shrugs it off as he helps his friend settle back into bed. 

age fourteen

it’s the summer before race and albert’s freshman year.

“holy shit,” race says as he falls back onto albert’s bed, staring at the ceiling. albert lies down next to race, propping his elbow up on the bed to rest his head on his hand.

“what?”

“we’re gonna be high schoolers, albo.”

“oh... yeah. crazy, huh?”

“crazy... scary,” race mumbles.

albert frowns. “why?”

“‘cause... high school’s gonna be different, albie. maybe you’re gonna get super popular and i won’t, because i’m just this skinny theater nerd who people are probably gonna pick on. and- and when you’re popular and i’m a freaking nobody, you’re gonna leave me and all our other friends are gonna follow you ‘cause you’re cool and i’m- i’m gonna be lonely...” race speaks faster and tears up as he gets more nervous, and albert sits up, prompting race to follow.

“tonio... breathe...” albert tells race. 

race sniffles and takes one deep breath, then two, then three.

“i’m sorry...”

“don’t be sorry...” albert smiles affectionately at race and holds his palm up. race’s eyes light up and he places his hand against albert’s, and albert entwines their fingers.

“i’m not going anywhere, high school or college or whatever,” he tells race confidently. “you’re stuck with me forever. i super special, super serious swear.”

race giggles. “oh, man, is that even grammatically correct?” 

“no, but that’s eight-year-old race’s fault.”

“fuck you.”

“love youuu.”

race smiles, brushing off the way his heart skips a beat when albert says that. “love you, too, albie.”

age fifteen - summer before sophomore year

“i have something to tell you,” they both say at the same time, and it’s followed by a chuckle from both of them.

albert smiles nervously. “it’s okay, i can wait. you go first.”

“i have a girlfriend, albie!” race exclaims, grinning.

albert feels his heart drop to his stomach and swallows, managing to keep his smile from faltering. “o-oh... wow, racer. that’s awesome. congrats!”

“her name’s sierra and, god, albie, she’s so amazing...” race smiles dreamily. he snaps out of his daze after a moment, though, and locks eyes with albert. “what did you wanna tell me?’

“i-i... well, i... i’m bi...” and you’re the reason i realised it, he wanted to add initially.  but he can’t do that now. “so, uh... yeah.”

race leans over and brings albert’s hand up, pressing their palms together. “it’s okay, albo... i’m pan. that was also something i wanted to tell you.”

albert laces their fingers together. “what’s this a promise for, tony?”

“it’s a super special, super serious swear, you uncultured swine,” race scoffs dramatically, making albert chuckle. “it’s a swear that we’ll always be there for each other. if anyone’s biphobic towards my best friend, they’re gonna have to catch these hands!”

“please never say that again,” albert groans, and race throws his head back in that laughter he loves to hear so much.

don’t think about that, albert, he scolds himself.

“but yeah,” he adds, “if anyone ever picks on you, i’ll deck ‘em!”

“you’re the best,” race chuckles, and albert smiles a genuine smile this time.

“so, you and sierra... how’d ya meet?”

“oh! well, we met in june when i went to that theater camp i’d been telling you about all year. we got really close really fast and at the end of camp i asked her out, and she said yes!! plus, it turns out she’s transferring to our school, so we can go to homecoming together in october! she’s so pretty and smart and funny and talented, albie. i think i really am in love...”

“you deserve it, race,” albert says softly. “you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

race grins and punches albert’s shoulder lightly. “what a fuckin’ sap.”

“you’re rubbing off on me, you cheesy fuck.”

“maybe that’s a good thing.”

“yeah,” albert laughs, hoping race doesn’t notice the waver in it. “maybe it is.”

age sixteen - sophomore year

when albert is wiping the sweat off his forehead after the homecoming game and heading to the parking lot to meet race, he doesn’t expect to find race already sitting cross-legged and hunched over on the hood of the beat-up pickup truck albert started driving only recently. as he gets closer, he hears sniffles and whimpers, and- oh, shit, is race crying? 

“racetrack?” albert asks, concern lacing his words.

“a-albie, i...” race swallows thickly and sobs, voice breaking. “she broke up with me, r-right before the dance...”

albert’s eyes widen. “why would she do that...?”

“she just- god, al, i really thought she was this amazing person, b-but the second this guy on your team asked her out, she dropped me like some piece of- of garbage and now she’s going out with him...” race sniffles and wipes his tears away frantically. “she was my first real kiss, albert... i- i can’t...”

“let’s bring you home, racer.”

“wh-what? albie, no, you- i- the dance-”

“there is no fucking way you’re going to this dance, race. you just had your fucking heart broken by this fucking girl who clearly didn’t realise how absolutely fucking lucky she was to have someone as amazing as you,” albert cuts race off, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. race hesitantly lifts his head to look at albert. “we’re gonna bring you home, okay? mrs. higgins told me she has, like, three new tubs of mint choco chip waiting for you in the fridge, and we can binge watch all of john mulaney’s specials together. you deserve to have this time to be upset, race, so you can move on for the better sooner.”

•••

race pauses the special - in the middle of the comeback kid, their favourite one - and turns to look at albert, who’s in the middle of eating a spoonful of his favourite flavour of ice cream: rocky road. race giggles at him, and he looks over, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“what?” he asks through a mouthful of ice cream.

“nothing... just... um... well, it’s kind of stupid...” race plays with the corner of the blanket they’re sharing, chewing on his bottom lip nervously.

albert swallows the ice cream before speaking again. “race, a good ninety percent of what we say is more than just kind of stupid. what’s up?”

“well, um... i was wondering if, maybe, if- if neither of us have dates to prom next year, if we can go together?”

albert can’t help the grin that makes its way onto his face. maybe he’s a little upset that the boy he’s been crushing on for nearly three years now isn’t going to be his date to prom, but hey, he’ll take what he can get. “hell yeah, tony! wanna swear on it?”

“fuck yeah,” race responds, grinning brightly back at albert, whose heart leaps into his throat at the sight. damn you for being so pretty, he thinks as he puts his palm up against race’s and entangles their fingers.

“super special, super serious swear,” they say simultaneously, laughing. 

age seventeen

they’ve made it to their junior year prom! neither race nor albert end up with dates, so, as super specially, super seriously sworn, they end up going to prom together. not as dates, just as best friends.

race is out on the dance floor with some of their other friends, and albert’s chosen to hang back by the snack table, where jack and jojo approach him with friendly smiles. he smiles back and waves.

“how come you aren’t on the dance floor with race, al?” jojo asks.

albert chuckles and shrugs. “not a dancer.”

“no, you are. you’re just choosing to hang out here to you can shovel strawberries and shrimp into your tux to smuggle out of prom,” jack jokes, cackling. jojo giggles softly and punches jack’s arm faintly, rolling his eyes in a fond manner.

“awww, damn, jackie. you caught me,” albert states sarcastically, and they all laugh.

“no, but really, i swear you love food more than you love race,” jojo chuckles.

albert freezes, and the other boys frown.

“did i say something wrong, albert?” jojo asks, getting ready to apologise.

“no!” albert replies quickly, knowing jojo could stand there for hours apologising. he was too nice. “i just... um... you’re right, no. i do- i do love race.”

“shit, al,” jack says, eyes widening. “do you...?”

albert nods and smiles nervously. he and jack nearly jump out of their skin when jojo squeals and claps, jumping up and down. “albo, that’s so cute!” he exclaims excitedly.

“speak of the devil,” jack states, tilting his head and gesturing towards race, who’s approaching albert. he looks nervous, albert notes with confusion and a bit of concern.

“we’ll leave you two alone. we got dates to find for the slow dance anyway. it’s about to start,” jojo grins, grabbing jack’s arm and dragging him to who knows where.

“u-um, hey.” race says when he’s close enough for albert to be able to hear him over the loud conversations of everybody in the room. he looks up at albert and smiles a little, and albert feels his heart melt more than he thought possible.

“hey,” he replies softly, smiling down at his friend.

“they’re about to play the slow songs...” 

albert nods. “i know. jo just told me.”

“would you- um- would- would you, like...” race trails off and looks down, taking a few deep breaths before looking back up at albert. “do you wanna dance with- with me?” his voice quivers a little, and albert takes his hand and squeezes it quickly.

“i’d love that, race.”

race’s eyes widen in surprise. “really?”

“really.”

so, they’ve made their way to the dance floor. albert wraps an arm around race’s waist and race places a hand on albert’s shoulder. both unsure about what to do with their free hands, they press their palms together on instinct, laughing softly when they realise they’ve had the same idea. race laces his fingers through albert’s and albert smiles.

“this a promise?”

race locks eyes with him, smiles that same tiny smile albert loves so much, and he nods. “a promise we’ll always be together. a super special, super serious swear that we’ll always be together.”

“together?” albert echoes.

“together.” race nods once more.

albert leans down and captures race’s lips in a kiss, because god damn everything else, he can’t help himself. the kiss is full of four years of love, of yearning, of passion, and fear, and everything else albert has always felt either for race or because of him. and race kisses back, and albert nearly cries. he’sd thought about this before and he’s thought it would be amazing, but this is even further beyond anything he’s ever thought it’d feel like, because this? this is real and it’s happening right now and he can’t believe it. he loves his best friend and his best friend loves him back, and he’s kissing him back, and it’s all he can think about right now because right now all there is is race. race’s cheeks, race’s lips, race’s waist, race’s chest pressing up against albert as he’s tugged impossibly closer. 

when albert breaks away, he’s gasping for air, and so is race. the sound of cheers fill their ears as they realise that they just had their first kiss together at prom, in front of all their classmates and friends.

“i love you,” albert whispers.

race grins, heart beating a mile a minute at the new meaning those words bear now. “i love you, too, albie.”

age eighteen

race can tell something’s up the moment he sees albert in his chair in the auditorium the morning of their graduation ceremony. he’s on the verge of falling asleep; he can barely keep his eyes open. 

race sits down next to albert and taps him on the shoulder. albert jolts up, kicking the chair in front of him hard and swearing loudly at the pain that suddenly shoots through his foot.

“baby, are you okay?” race frowns, holding albert’s hand and running his thumb over his boyfriend’s knuckles gently.

“finch ‘n’ tommy got me high last night, racer...” albert groans, rubbing his temples.

“holy. fuck.” race snorts and bursts into laughter, causing albert to swat at him and whine. “god, al, even i’m not stupid enough to get high before my fucking high school graduation. you three are gonna regret this so much!”

“let’s just be grateful davey’s valedictorian,” albert sighs.

“yeah, partly ‘cause davey wasn’t dumb enough to get stoned before his last day as a high schooler.”

“shut up, asshole.”

race chuckles and shakes his head. “just don’t do anything dumb when you’re up there, okay? it’s only, like, a minute or less.”

“i’ll try for you.” albert smiles fondly and presses his palm to race’s, who laces his fingers through albert’s.

albert squeezes race’s hand and he grins a little bit. “what’s this one for, albie?”

“it’s for sticking together no matter what the future holds. and i know we made a promise like this a while ago, but i really need it now more than ever, race. i need you. i love you.”

tears glimmer in race’s eyes and he stares up at albert with nothing but pure adoration and love. “i love you, too... and we are gonna stick together no matter what, albie.”

they share a small kiss.

“i super special, super serious swear.”

•••

after the ceremony, elisa drives race and albert to the higgins household. their friends were throwing a party, but when albert was practically collapsing on the ground race decided it was time for him to rest.

“i’m very proud of you two, you know,” elisa says, looking into the rearview mirror with a smile. albert’s slouching low enough to be able to rest his head on race’s shoulder, and the boys both return her smile with the same warmth. “you’ve gotten into the same college, haven’t you?”

“nyu, baby!” race cheers. albert laughs and presses a kiss to race’s neck with minimal effort. 

“nyu,” he nods before falling asleep.

age twenty-three

“i can’t fucking believe you got crowd surfed,” albert shakes his head in disbelief as he and race walk home to their apartment. well, it was more of a stumble. they’d both gotten a little bit buzzed. it’s well past 2 a. m. and they’re headed back from the graduation party katherine threw at her house.

“yeah, well, i can’t believe you actually had the confidence to climb on top of the table and fucking serenade me, albert,” race counters.

“guess it just shows how strong my love for you is,” albert coos as he unlocks their apartment door after climbing up the small set of stairs. race pretends to gag, and albert laughs, kissing his nose.

•••

“i’m really tired,” albert whines. race chuckles and climbs into bed next to albert.

“go to sleep, then,” race snorts.

“need you for that,” albert mumbles tiredly, and the comedic mood melts away into a gentle, loving one as race smiles softly at the boy across from him. he moves closer and pecks albert’s lips.

“i love you.”

“love you, too...”

“forever and always, albie.”

“forever and always, tony.”

race grins and holds his hand out. albert chuckles and presses his palm to race’s, and race weaves his fingers through albert’s, and albert swears he’ll never be over the way their hands seem to fit together so perfectly, like pieces of a puzzle meant to click.

“super special, super serious swear,” albert murmurs, kissing race softly. race returns the kiss and squeezes albert’s hand. 

albert is the one to break the kiss, letting go of race’s hand to wrap an arm around him and pull him close. race tucks his face into the crook of albert’s neck and kisses there softly, drawing a drowsy smile from albert as they both drift into a pleasant, dreamless sleep.

age twenty-five

race leans against albert, staring out at the sunset in front of them, loving the reflections of the beautifully multicoloured sky on the crystal clear ocean water. they’re standing up, having planned to leave roughly twenty minutes ago, but they got distracted by the scenery ahead, pausing to admire it.

“thank you for this, albie...” race says softly, lifting his head to look at albert and smiling. albert smiles back.

“eight years together. not a very specific or significant milestone, but i wanted to at least do a little something.”

“a little something?” race chuckles. “albert, we’ve gone hiking, had dinner in the mountains, crashed at the beach, and now i’m looking at the prettiest sunset i’ve ever seen. it’s been more than just a little something. it’s been everything.”

“you’re my everything.”

“sap.”

“you’re rubbing off on me,” albert looks down at race knowingly. race grins and kisses his cheek. 

“racer?”

“mmhm?”

“i have to ask you something.”

“so, ask it!” race giggles.

albert smiles nervously and lets go of race before getting down on one knee. he pulls out a small box, opens it to reveal a ring that race remembers him eyeing when they’d gone to the mall with katherine, jack, specs, romeo, and some of their other friends. he gasps softly, and albert chuckles quietly.

“i, um... i really don’t even know where to start, anthony. we were literally five years old when we met, and i didn’t ever think i’d be here, celebrating eight years of being your boyfriend. your fucking boyfriend. for eight years. eight of the most incredible years of my life, holding you, kissing you, pulling pranks with you, loving you. before that, i got to spend twelve years being your best friend. and for all twenty of those years, i’ve gotten to grow with you and i’ve gotten to catch every curveball life has thrown at me with you by my side. i want to spend the rest of my years loving you as hard as i can, not just as your boyfriend, but as your husband and your best friend. this is gonna be, like, the biggest super special, super serious swear we’ve ever made, but... i’m ready for it. so, anthony ‘racetrack’ higgins, will you marry me?”

“i-i...” race chokes on a sob of pure joy, and nods furiously. “albert... albie, i- i don’t even... yes... oh my god, albert, a million times yes!”

albert grins widely and slides the ring onto race’s finger, falling a little bit more in love with race when a giggle of nothing but absolute happiness escapes his mouth, and he stands up to press their palms together and lace their fingers together and this time, they both squeeze. this isn’t albert’s promise or race’s promise. this is their promise, and they plan on keeping it for the rest of their days.

age twenty-six

“racer!” albert calls. “did finch show you the wedding photos?”

“they’re already out?” race asks in surprise.

“digitally,” albert nods. “he’ll have the physical copy to us by the end of next week.”

“god, albie,” race breathes, falling back onto their bed like he did so many years ago at albert’s house before their first year of high school. “we’re husbands now. we have the same last name.”

“i know all of this, yes,” albert says teasingly. race scoffs and turns over to shove him lightly. albert cackles and leans over to kiss race quickly before unlocking his phone and opening up the email he got from finch. he opens the files and hands it over to race, whose eyes light up the moment they see the screen.

“we are so hot,” he says, and albert bursts into laughter. 

“i fucking love you, you idiot.”

“i love you, too, al.” race giggles and turns his head to kiss albert’s nose. he switches the phone off after going through all the photos and sets it on the nightstand beside him, turning to face albert properly. he holds his palm out and albert does what he has to do, and this time they both squeeze, too.

“anthony higgins-dasilva, i super special, super serious swear to keep loving you as much as i can and making you as happy as i can for the rest of my life,” albert whispers.

a tear of happiness slides down race’s cheek and he smiles lovingly at his husband. “i super special, super serious swear to always do the same, albert higgins-dasilva.”

they share a soft, slow kiss, taking all the time they need, because now they know they have each other, and they don’t need to go anywhere for a while.

×××

HSAUIDHFUHSUHS OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. ITS DONE. 14 PAGES IN GOOGLE DOCS. 4K+ WORDS. ALSHDLIFHDSALISDS. I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!!!!

-sanj 💕

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