they say it's darkest of all before the dawn

┌─── this blog has nsfw & dark content. if you’re uncomfortable with either, please block or dni.

┌─── asks can and will be deleted. if the ask makes me uncomfortable for whatever reason, i will delete it.  i don’t like people trying to pry into my private life.

┌─── don’t steal content. you can share links to my works, but do not reupload anything to wattpad, tiktok, or any other platform.

┌─── minors are not welcome here. if you’re a minor, do not interact.  don’t like my content, reblog, follow, send ims, tag me in anything, or send in asks [even on anon].  refer to my before you follow for more information on this.

┌─── i do not accept requests. you are more than welcome to send me messages and if inspired, i may write a small thirst drabble, but i do not take fic or drabble requests.  for an example of what you can send and how i will respond, please refer here.

about me  ───  byf & dni

rules & content

tags   ───   wip

masterlists

┌─── drabble

fleeting | kaeya  — reader

┌─── fic

not today | aone  — reader not today ii | aone  — reader 

                                          ≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

some of you may have seen me follow, i go by a different name

i don't mind! i'm assuming you're referencing the reason i disappeared for so long. i'm going to put it under a read more just because i know i can get wordy sometimes and wanna give a little backstory

i just

I JUST GOT BACK AND ALREADY YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY PLEASE DON'T

- luna (sukiglycerin)

hi! i wouldn't say i'm doing alright, but i'm okay enough to at least hopefully interact with people some.

alex bb

honestly i haven't even thought about it

but it may do good for me to get my mind focused on something like that. i haven't listened to a ton of new stuff that's not metal lately, but here's what i do have:

slaughter to prevail - demolisher & baba yaga [russian deathcore band that i really like and i really want to get a mask from their store because they're so cool??]

oceans of slumber - a return to the earth below, winter, suffer the last bridge, the decay of disregard and no color, no light [i really enjoy these guys. i sent @ushibo one of their songs and just dived into more of their music because i really like it. no color, no light is definitely my favorite of theirs]

i'm going to go cry

i didn't know anyone was waiting for me to accept anons again, i don't remember when i turned it back on but i'm so sorry i didn't see this until now

this does have talks about mental health and other health issues so if you don’t want to read the entire thing, here’s a tldr:  things are still broken in my head and rest of my body, so while i never officially came off semi-hiatus/hiatus, just know it’s still in effect because i’m not ready to be back fully.

for those who want to know more:

i have to regular therapy every 2 weeks, see a nurse practitioner for medication.  the medicine i’m on helps the anxiety, makes the depression worse and nerfed any semblance i had of a sex drive so now even just seeing gifs or anything makes me nauseous and i don’t know why.  i’ve never had this happen with other medications.

in other news, other medical conditions i have are getting worse, causing me to need more doctor appointments, more tests, more medication, bunch of everything.  i need to get things fixed and settled before i even remotely think about coming back, but anyone is still free to add me on discord if they want to talk or join me in a gaming session.

good news is i’ve lost a bunch of weight (healthily so don’t think i’m doing anything harmful to myself) which is a huge win since i’ve been trying to for nearly 3 years with no success.

and yes url change bc i didnt like my last one

also i sent that like a couple weeks ago

i’ve been on hiatus for a bit so i haven’t seen

BUT