starlight

shadows had been morphing around the blonde for days, little flickers of darkness swiveling around in his vision. he felt maybe he was going insane, perhaps he had been hit on the head by a vulcan one too many times.

but seeing those little flickers of darkness was nothing in comparison to FEELING them, to be grabbed and touched by the shadows - or maybe one singular shadow - was a different story.

and once he started hearing the whispers, it was done. laxus was convinced he had lost his mind, late at night, as he attempted to doze off into his slumber, he would hear faint little murmurs. the voice was soft, with a dreary sadness to it, a desperate yearning sound. yearning to be helped, to be comforted, maybe even a yearning to be loved.

so imagine laxus’s shock when he started seeing faces, or not faces - a singular face. her face. he hadn’t seen it before, and he convinced himself it was his imagination, but he saw it everywhere. in his dreams, in the shadows, in the steam, in the smoke, in the flames, even in his own lighting - he saw her face. she was pretty, with a desperate sadness in her eyes. when he’d stopped being scared, and he focused on parts of the darkness of his room, he would see her. sometimes only for a few seconds, sometimes he would watch her weep.

rather guiltily he would admit he liked hearing her cry, it was soothing for him, it helped him sleep at times.

on the contrary, it was absolutely terrifying for him when she wasn’t crying, because she would stand, and she would stare. she would stare at the boy in his bed, seeing beyond his physical body and understanding his soul. she saw him beyond what he was, how he acted and who he pretended to be. she saw him rawly, she saw him for what he was - from the beauty of his love, to the violence in his lust. she saw his pain, his suffering, his need. over time, she began to more clearly follow him around, learning about his guild, staying just a shadow.

eventually however, on a particularly dreary hallows eve, as laxus was listening to her cries to fall asleep, she moved. she took slow, small steps towards his bed, and oddly enough, he wasn’t scared. when she sat down next to him, touching his hair, he didn’t flinch away.

her beautiful, sad eyes met his but he didn’t speak.

he found comfort in her touch, letting her stay by him, until he fell asleep and woke up with her gone again.

at that point, he was convinced he was losing it. maybe he was just lonely, maybe he just wanted a girlfriend?

and so he tried that, he found a girl, and invited her into his house.

now imagine his shock when he and the girl took their business into his bedroom, and the spirit he had been interacting with was already seated on his bed, but she looked different this time.

she looked insane.

a pool of blood was collecting at her feet - the source of the blood you ask? from the gaping hole in her chest. it appeared as if she had carved her own heart out and held it in her hands, the devastating sadness still apparent in her eyes.

and imagine how much more shocked laxus was when the girl next to him screamed in fear, running out of his home. she could see her too?

laxus watched her and had no idea what to do, his mouth agape as she stood, her wounds healing and the heart transforming into an apple. she took slow steps toward him, as she turned back into the beautiful apparition he saw every night, and she handed him the apple, with a soft smile on her face.

“please.. don’t do that again..” she spoke in barely a whisper, as she walked through the man frozen in fear, disappearing.

she didn’t appear to him for a week after that, and he was plagued with nightmares for a week.

at that point, he didn’t know what to do. should he tell the master about it? or would the old geezer put him in some ward?

the spirit continued to visit him, progressively becoming realer, getting touchier and even speaking to him.

laxus x youuuu but ur literally..

"if u need to be mean be mean to me"

"if you need to break more than trinkets in your room, you can lean on my arm as you break my heart"

"just dont leave me alone wondering where you are , i am stronger than you give me credit for"

idk what i was going for here 💔

you weren't s class, but you were pretty close.

you could control one of the bases of human life - bones. it wasn't magic, more like an ability. they spoke to you, little whispers, guidance. in a adults body there are 206 bones, and every single one of them is yours. in some way, the bones are yours, eternally connected to you - the bones aren't who's body they're found in's, the bones are yours. and if that wasn't enoigh, you had an ancient, forbidden charm magic tucked in your sleeve too. a siphoning magic, the ability to give or take magic power through a link you cast - the link can be placed in seconds, and theres not really a limit on who it can be placed on. so! you were pretty powerful, not that laxus saw it of course. all he saw was strength, combat ability. hes into the flashy stuff, stuff that is shown, the stuff that wins.

you didn't mind though, because you knew deep down, he was into you too! he had to be, right? you guys have been together since you were 16, and your 7th anniversary is coming up!

laxus has been a little distant lately, but its okay. hes always distracted, distracted with worth, distracted with anything really. you were just happy he wasn't angry, because when he was mad, it got really bad.

hes a sweet boy, i know he is. i can hear it in his bones, his kindness. i see it in how he spares the animals he finds on the roads, feeding them, i see it in how he doesn't kill insects, instead letting them roam free. he's gentle, and kind, and sweet. he doesn't show it but i know he is.

his grandfather describes it too, whenever i speak to makarov, he reminisces over the laxus i can hear in the bones. the kind, sweet, gentle boy.

makarovs bones groan and creak, straining from age. hes going to be here for way longer though, his bones are strong, sturdy. his bones also speak kindness, but not in the same way as laxus. makarovs bones are kind in the justifying way. i hear the kindness of a teacher in his bones, and the kindness of a guardian in laxus's.

however, this doesn't seem to be an inherited trait. kindness runs in their bones, but does not run in their blood. ivans bones are dry, and hard. they aren't strained with age yet, but sound to be tired - tired of what, im not sure. ivans bones are greedy, gluttonous. i hear it, the desire for success. the willingness to pit others down, sometimes i hear this in laxus too, but i know it's not genuine like it is in ivans. ivans bones are brittle, while makarov and laxus's are flexible, and strong. ivans bones reek, the noises they make grating against my ears, his bones begging for forgiveness deep down. guilty bones. guilt for what, i'm not sure.

the bones consume me sometimes, all i listen to is them. i'm not sure.

you climbed up the stairs to the 2nd floor of the guild hall, finding laxus lounging with his feet propped up.

"hey," i mumbled, before taking a seat next to him. his headphones were in so he couldn't hear me, but i knew he knew i was here. he continued listening to his music, as if i wasnt here at all.

sometimes i wish i was his music, occupying his ears, his brain. instead of just his bones. i wish i was what he heard, what he loved so much, i wish he paid attention to me like he did to his music. but it's okay, hes usually occupied by something.

i tapped on laxus's shoulder, before pulling off his headphones.

ur a budding starlet and hes patrick bateman and he loves you 😋

(its literally just you and him having a conversation then him overthinking the last part and convincing himself you didnt love him)

(hes so silly and dramatic in this story fr)

she crawled over to patrick's laying frame, wrapping her arm over his stomach and snuggling into his chest.

"im gonna be famous, patrick." she told him, hope oozing into her voice. "the whole worlds gonna know my name."

"yea?" he said, amused by her antics.

"mhm! ill be in hollywood.. people are going to recognize me in the streets and everyones going to love me." she told him, her eyes bright as she spoke of her future.

"what about us then?" he replied, his voice stern - almost emotionless.

"huh? what do you mean?" she mumbled, propping herself up on her elbow.

"when you get famous and move to hollywood." he said again, disliking the idea.

"well.. we could make long distance work! plus we'll both be rich so we could travel to see each other!" she told him, still optimistic. "it'll be so perfect. ill be so happy!"

but to patrick, this was like a knife in the chest. he loved her, hes known that since he saw her, he would drop anything for her. he would give up his whole career and retire to the countryside for a life with her - if that's what she wanted. she was his only choice, his favorite, his everything. he would kill for her. if she said she liked a billion dollar dress, he would pay the billion. he would do anything for her, and she was his future. for him, nothing was certain. stocks were tricky and often unpredictable, he could lose his wealth and his whole lifestyle in a matter of seconds. and naturally, he wasn't very close with anyone else, no work friends, nothing. but he had her, the light of his life. and when because he had her, he had everything.

she was the certainty of his life, his rock. and she was just going to leave? when her career takes off, she would just leave him like that? what if he needs her and she's on the other side of the country? how was long distance going to work for either of them?

she knew he wasn't moving to LA with her. how could she say that it would make her happy? was she tired of him after all? was her "eternal love" for him actually not eternal? he couldn't even be away from her for more than a day without worrying so much he got sick, did she not share that same sentiment?

how could she be so happy about leaving him? once she got famous, would he just be out of the picture? would she forget him?

and how could a life without him be perfect? he knew he couldn't live without her, so how could she be so fond of the idea of being away from him?

he turned to look at the girl, engulfed in sleep. her features looked angelic as the light danced on her skin, highlighting her beauty. realization seemed to strike him, as he watched her breathe steadily - he fell for a trap.

a carefully woven web she had coaxed him into. how she broke down his walls and burrowed herself a hole deep into his heart, a hole that would be left empty once she left. her "i love you"s were lies mumbled into his ears, a trap he had fallen for. maybe he should have been more cautious, a little more guarded.

tears flooded the mans eyes, she was his everything.

how could her love be a trap? she was everything he had ever wanted, his perfect. but he wasn't that to her, he was disposable. something she would get rid of for fame, and as he came to that realization - it shattered him.

he could feel it. he could feel his heart shattering into a million pieces. the strain in his chest, the tears in his eyes. all he'd ever wanted was to be loved like she said she loved him, all he'd ever yearned for was the peace of her embrace, but all he ever knew was the lie of her love.

patrick bateman x struggling musician! reader (but sad)

(u guys i wanna write a part 2 of years after she gets famous and moves to LA where shes being interviewed and asked if she has a muse and she still remembers him and lvoes him after all those years and patrick somehow sees the interview and realizes he lost the love of his life or sm.) (also i have no idea how to write his character 😞)

she loved him.

she knew he was crazy, she was almost a victim of his crazy. but still, she loved him. how he spoke, the wrinkles on his face when he smiled, she loved him.

and it was horrible. hugging him was like hugging barbed wire, his touch was rough - and greedy. it seemed as if he wanted one thing, and one thing only.

"i think you're the only woman i could ever truly love," was something she heard often. maybe she was the only woman he could ever truly love but did he even know how to love? he would swear he loved her but any interaction between the two seemed to be onesided.

her soft hands reaching for him, for the comfort he could provide. his hungry hands reaching for her, for the pleasure she could provide.

it seemed as if she was nothing to him other than a good fuck, but he was everything to her.

it was so weird, he hated affection but he didn't push her away when she snuggled up to him. still, he never held her in public, he was embarrassed.

as they lay together in her bed, silence heavy in the air. he knew she loved him, he knew her heart ached for him, and him only. how she would push anyone except him away, only to be pushed away by him. after all, he was engaged. her name was evelyn and she was one of this prim and proper girls, the kind patrick wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with.

so maybe, maybe she loved him, but he wasn't hers to love. in reality, she was a struggling starlet and he was a high society businessman / serial killer, how could it ever work?

her thoughts were interrupted with his hand running through her hair.

"you know.. i write about you." she mumbled, looking up at him.

his eyes were heavy with sleep, but he was still awake - pondering his own thoughts.

"it's like i can't stop it.. every song. you just make your way into every song i write, its horrible.. you're like my muse." she whispered.

he just chuckled in response, as he continued playing with her hair. he was never this calm, or even affectionate at all. usually just scoffing down at her.

as sleep engulfed both of them, she was left with this feeling - impending doom. something was going to happen, not to either of them, but to their relationship.

maybe they didn't stand a chance together, maybe they were a horrible pair, but still - she loved him.

rlly rlly short drabble

he smiled down at the pretty girl resting on his chest, "they're gonna kill us if they catch us here, y/n..."

his tone was sharp, a little sarcastic, a little done with her, but still - he smiled. a rare occurence for the man, he smiled bright as the sun, and she smiled back.

"if we die, then we die together.. we'll leave this hellhole together.." she replied softly, staring up at him as the setting sun shone through his sandy blonde hair, and the light seemed to dance on his skin.

she hadn't known him for long, only a year or so - but to anyone, it would be crazy how fast they fell for one another. a tailor and a drunk in district 13, how could it ever work out for them? especially in their wretched world of violence where they were one anothers only safety, freedom and comfort.

as they laid together in that meadow, the world seemed to stop. all the unfairness, the violence, the hurt, seemed to be unable to reach them. protected by one another, at that moment, it seemed to be only them in the world.

angst no comfort oneshot for laxus dreyar bcs i 🫶 hurting my own feelings!!

wait but like to elaborate on the story! reader and laxus traveled tgth while he was exiled from the guild then they fell in love and did all the in love things u do!

as he rang the doorbell of the house - her house, he couldn't help but wonder what she had done with herself and her life since.

she definitely would look different - it had been 7 years, maybe she would act different? the house was pretty big, she was definitely well off. but other than that, he wasn't sure. he saw the tulips and rosebushes planted all around - her favorites, and he couldn't help but smile to himself.

he felt like a silly teenager in love looking to get his dare for a school dance or something, maybe he should have brought her flowers.

as the door opened, he was brought out of his thoughts.

and there she was, in the doorframe, 7 years older and just as perfect as she was the day he left for tenrou.

she froze. he was dead, he had to be dead. but he wasnt, he was standing in her doorway - exactly as he was when he took off.

he opened his mouth to speak but she didn't gear any sound, her heartbeat sped up.

her wide eyes brimmed with tears at the sight of the man, he was there. he was alive, he was well - but he was late. too late. 4 years too late.

it was horrible when she thought she lost him, but it was worse now that he was back. it seemed as if her world came crashing down at that moment, the choice she knew she would have to make daunting and horrifying.

she loved him, so deeply. but she had missed him for longer than she had loved him, she had comforted herself with fantasy scenarios regarding him more often than he had comforted her, she had dreamed about him longer than she had lived in reality - running from what she thought was the truth, that a giant oversized lizard wiped out the love of her life and everyone else he cared about.

she had moved on, the original pain that plagued her heart had calmed to an ache in the back of her mind, but now it was back.

the inevitable choice, her husband or the man she told herself she would love for eternity? the man she vowed herself to under the watchful eyes of god or the man she had spent nights stargazing with, while daring to dream about their futures. the man who had picked her up and fixed her after she was shattered into a million pieces or the man who held her so tightly while her whole world flipped upside down and she was forced into his arms? fate seemed to be playing a cruel game, never letting her fully rid herself of him, bringing them back together at this time.

she was snapped out of her thoughtd at laxus's warm hand against her cheek, concern etched onto his face.

"oi, y/n?" he mumbled, caring - like he always was with her.

her tears fell over his hand as she wrapped hers around his wrist, removing it from her face.

then he saw it. her wedding band. snugly fit around her pretty fingers, as her tears started to make sense.

the realization that he shouldn't have come dawned onto him, his unwanted prescence doing nothing but bringing back pain filled memories for her.

it felt like a stab to his heart, he didn't blame her. he wasn't even really mad, nothing seemed to compare to the sadness that blurred his vision and filled his eyes with tears. as they both cried, yearning for the youthful freedom they had before this mess. before he was gone, before she was married, before it all when they were just 2 kids in love. before, when they had the audacity to dream, to dream of a fairy tale life, a perfect life with one other.

laxus plastered a smile onto his face, before asking "how have you been, n/n?"

his words rung through her ears, repeating a million times, as she couldn't think of an answer. she couldn't help it as she sobbed, leaning backwards into the doorframe, away from him.

his hand raised again, wiping her tears as they fell.

when she finally seemed to get a hold of herself, they had a conversation.

it wasn't long, she wasn't sobbing but her tears were still flowing. the kind of conversation between ex lovers, the "could'ves", reminiscent of their past, sadness in their tones. their conversation fizzled out, as their time ran out.

"my husband.. gets home in 15 minutes." she told him, hesitant. the whole inreraction felt like a fever dream, the worst.

"it was good to talk," laxus said, curtly as he plastered another smile onto his face - the kind that was so desperately. "goodbye, n/n."

"you know i hate goodbyes.." she mumbled, before leaning in for a hug.

"because 'goodbyes' are forever, like you'll never see them again." laxus whispered into her ear, as they hugged. in that moment, it was perfect, their bodies molded to each other, a perfect that she didn't want to lose. he pulled away, smiling at her one last time - geniunely this time, not a smirk, not one of those fake smiles, but one founded by his love for her, one for the love they lost. and she returned it, an "i'll love you until the stars stop shining, and the earth stops spinning," kind of smile, so genuine and so pure.

but she knew, it didn't matter. as he made his way down her front lawn, she knew the moment he left her driveway it was over. the greatest love she could possibly experience would be gone, the love of her life a stranger once again.

as he was about to leave, he turned, smiling at her again. she returned it, standing in the doorway of a house they used to dream of owning together, ready to go back to serving her husband the moment laxus left, their "childlish" love dead and gone for eternity.

laxus x reader drabble AGAIN, might write more parts!

help idk why i wrote angst BUT HES SO UGHHH?? sobbing btw.

he wasn't sure why he did it - why he left her. of course, he had to leave magnolia, but her?

he remembered it like it had just been yesterday, her eyes widening as tears filled them, her mouth opening ot say something but no words coming out, how he saw her heart shatter in his fact, how she collapsed, how she cried. he remember how he sobbed for the first time in a long time the moment he exited their house, how he told himself it was for the best, how despite that he couldn't stop his tears, the unbearable pain he lived with for a year that never stopped - until tenrou, until time itself stopped.

walking back into their old house seemed to awaken everything, the ache in his heart. there was no trace of her. 8 years had passed, since he walked out on the love of his life - 8 years to her, 1 to him.

everything was in its place, exactly as he liked it. the fridge was ridded of perishables, the living room cushions were in the right order, the dining table was uncluttered, the bathroom counter was empty except for his singular toohtbrush and toothpaste, the cabinets were empty except the ones that had help his own personal hygiene products, the closet was empty, their bed was made, his belongings were untouched. the sheets smelled of his cologne, the shower was stocked with his body wash. even the shiny engagement ring in the velvet box resting deep in one of the drawers of his nightstand was still there, undistured and resting on its soft cushioning.

naybe he liked it, so many years ago, but today - at that day and at that time - he hated it. his house was nothing but his house.

he hated mess, he never complained to her about it but she knew he hated it, but god, how he would kill to see a mess. her mess, the clutter of makeup products, her clothing, her skincare, the lingering scent of her perfume, the smell of her cooking. the elements of her that made his house his home, the things that warmed his bed and comforted his heart were gone - and as was she.

he didn't blame her, he ended their relationship with 2 words, never reached out and walked out on the teary eyed girl as if it meant nothing.

she didn't know he was on the island, she probably thought he left her in radio silence for years, it was too late to try again, it was too late to love her.

he couldn't stand it, his house haunted him with memories of her, he couldn't stay there any longer.

and so, he made his way to freed's house, grabbing his coat, and walking across town, to where its always been. he knew freed would ask no questions, and jsut be happy to have him there, but still, he knew his sleep would be haunted by his memories of her, the undying hope that maybe she still missed him, that maybe they were really meant to be, that the universe was on their side. maybe the gods were rooting for him and his soulmate, the love of his life. maybe, by pure luck, he didn't screw up as bad as he thought he did, maybe she had it in him to forgive her, and maybe she was just as hopeful as him.

maybe she would forgive him, maybe - even though it might seem so silly -, maybe, she still loved him as she did all those years ago, and maybe she still trusted him, and maybe the odds were in their favor and they had a chance. just maybe. but that maybe was the only thing that let him sleep at night, that maybe was the only thing that had kept him going, that 'maybe' seemed to be the only thing that kept his heart beating.

my man so fine ong 🤭🤭

part one

dialogue is not my strong suit yall.

as night fell, the other 4 started setting up their camp.

well not necessarily the other four , just the 3 that you wreaked havoc onto her guild, while the blonde sat and stared at her, a blank expression on his face.

she was a little lost on what to do or how she could help, until he seemed to snap out og his thoughts and walk over to her.

"shower." he instructed, handing her a towel.

"excuse me?" she snapped, indignantly.

"go take a shower." he repeated, irritated with her already.

"we're in the middle of nowhere!" she hissed, not appreciating his tone.

"theres a waterfall a few hundred feet to the left," he grunted, pointing in the direction as she took the towel and walked away.

after an hour or so, she returned.

"jeez! you took forever! even longer than me!" evergreen remarked, putting down the fish she was eating.

the other 3 just continued in their hushed conversation, as she sat with them by the fire.

they were all eating fish, and she was a little hungry too. but still a little too shy to ask, so instead, she stood up and walked around the clearing - looking for berries on some of the bushes.

"what are you doing?" laxus snapped, watching her walk around.

"looking for something to eat." she replied defensively, as she finally found some berries.

"in a bush?" he sneered, raising his eyebrows.

"berries." she snapped.

he scoffed before portioning some of his fish for her, as she picked from the bush.

they continued in their conversation, not paying much attention to the girl. before freed turned to her, and asked her, "where do you plan on sleeping?"

"in a tent..?" she said, confused.

"in which tent," freed said curtly, elaborating, "either with us or with laxus."

"how about you all stay together and i get a tent to myself?" she piped, not liking either of her options.

"now don't be like that," bickslow laughed, as his puppets mimicked.

laxus narrowed his eyes before deciding for her, "you'll just stay with me."

eventually they finished their meal, and evergreen returned, and they all retreated into their tents.

"do you snore?" she asked, as she watched laxus get ready for bed.

"do you snore?" he snapped in reply, annoyed with her question.

"is that a yes?" she asked, as he shrugged. uncontent with her answer, she grunted and laid down to sleep.

after a few hours, laxus was awoken by screaming.

he mumbled some curses, before lighting the lamp, and seeing her drenched in blood, with her ribs protruding from her chest, her back arching and hands clawing into the ground.

despite all of this, she was still sound asleep, and laxus didn't seem to know what to do except wake her.

once he recovered from his shock, he neared her, shaking her awake, as her eyes snapped open.

she gasped as she realized what had happened to her in her sleep, before 'fixing' it.

"i'm so sorry.. this just happens sometimes when things happen to me, it's totally nothing, im so sorry." she mumbled, to a shocked laxus, who just shook his head and told her it was fine.

after that night, they packed up their camp, and their track back to the guild was pretty short, even thought they ran into a vulcan or two.

as they re-entered the blososmimg town of magnolia, it seemed it was just in time for their annual harvest festival.

she had heard a lot about it, it was a nationally renowned event - people woukd travel from all over to see it, and to watch the fantasia parade.

there was also a kind of pageant taking place, miss fairy tail.

as they all walked, the green haired guy and laxus continued in whispered conversation, they appeared to be arguing in a way.

when they finished, they told "ever" something and she backtracked tappning y/n on her shoulder.

"you're going to join our guild." she proclaimed, not leaving room for argument.

"i'm already in a guild."

"well! you're going to join ours," bickslow cackled, "my babies love you already!"

"don't be so sure yet, makarov still needs to approve her." freed spurred, his voice still stern.

"that old geezer will let her in justttt fine," laxus snapped, "just in time for the miss fairy tail contest too!"

"excuse me?", i asked, insure exactly why he wanted me to be in the pageant.

"with that pretty face, you'll win that 500.000 jewel just fine, can't have you lounging around for free!" laxus thundered, wrapping his arm around the girl.

as they approached the guild hall, she couldn't help but feel a sense of unease.

laxus and the rest of them practically blew the door in, before storming their way into the guild hall, invoking a ton of whispers and stares.

"oh! laxus, you're back in town!" smiled a white haired girl, mirajane strauss - i recognized her from a few magazine covers.

laxus just scoffed in her direction, before making his way over to the guild master, who was sitting and just drinking.

"well?" the master asked, as laxus stood in front of him.

laxus tugged me in fromt of him, "she wants to join the guild."

the master seemed to sober at that moment, staring at the girl, taking in her face and her figure, "shes a mage?"

"of course shes a mage!" laxus snapped, "wouldn't bring in some weakling.."

"laxus, let me speak with her." the man instructed, as laxus scoffed and walked off, climbing the stairs to the second floor.

"so," makarov said, swinging his feet a bit, "what magic do you use, y/n?"

"is it really important?" i growled, coming off harsher than i should have.

"well it is a wizards guild!" he said, still jolly, "i don't sense any particular magic power from you.. but you might just be powerful enough to conceal it."

"bones. i control bones, they speak to me, i instruct them, they obey. every bone in your body, every bone in my body, every bone in the world." i replied briskly.

"no wonder laxus brought you over here.. is there anything else you can do?" the master continued, humming and swinging his legs on the bar.

"some shadow magick, some requip .. a bit of rune magick too."

"shadow magick? could you elaborate on that?" he murmured, seeming to be deeper in thought.

"i can merge with that shadows, sneak around." she munbled, "it's not really anything."

"well! you certainly are a mage.. a quite powerful one at that.. im glad to say, welcome to the guild, y/n!" makarov said, before announcing to the guild, "now you buffoons welcome our new member!"

"YEAHH!!!" yelled out a pink haired guy, before he launched himself at her, slamming her straight into the floor with a fire engulfed punch.

"OI! NATSU YOU MIGHTVE KILLED HER" the master exclaimed, in shock, before the girl got right back up.

"oi natsu! hands off my girl." thundered laxus from upstairs, who was now leaning over the balcony.

"OHOH A FIGHT!" natsu exclaimed, "happy!", as a flying blue cat lifted him, launching him at laxus as his fist was now again engulfed in fire. laxus struck him down mid air with lightning, as natsu laid on the floor knocked out, his cat next to him.

HELP idk but i titled this after the taylor swift song cs ngl it lines up SO well with the gmg arc..

anyways we alr know who its for 🤭🤭 (LAXUS DREYAR‼️‼️) during the gmg where reader in one mermaid heel n opposing until she sees him?? prob js an extension of my right where you left me oneshot!

everything has changed, laxus is back. she has a reason to smile again, but still, her guild was competing with his. she love him, but she hated losing. despite that though, she had her doubts, should she drop the games? should she try to purposefully lose? winning this would be huge for him and his guild, and it would make them forgive him, right? so wouldn't it be worth it for her to take a loss for him?

she was dragged out of her thoughts when she walked straight into a brick wall, stumbling backwards.

someone had grabbed her, stabilizing her.

"ma'am? are you alright?" mumbled a man as he kneeled by her, sting from sabertooth. a blush grew on her face as she realized.

"oi! isnt that the girl from mermaid heel? the super strong on?" said a voice from next to sting.

"i'm fine.. thank you. i must get going though." she replied, flustered as she ran off into the crowd.

"hey! i dont even know your name yet .. oi! lady you dropped your hairclip!" sting called out after her, as she disappeared.

she entered the stadiums and walked over to the stands where her guild was situated.

"oh! y/n, you're in a much better mood today!" kagura exclaimed.

"some things happened.." she muttered with a huge grin on her face.

"oooh, was it boy things?" risley asked, with a giggle.

"oh! y/n, its about time you've gotten a man in your life!" kagura continued.

"oh? did y/n finally find someone?" arana asked, a smile curling up her lips.

"no! its not like-" she squeaked, flustered, before milliana chimed in.

"who is it? is he cute? like a cat?" she asked, as all 5 of started giggling.

chapati began to announce the games for the day, hidden, and some fight afterwards.

"oi, could i play in today event?" y/n asked, still giddy.

"you're gonna be in the arena losing us points 'cause you're too busy giggling about your boyfriends," risley joked, as kagura shook her head.

"yes, you may participate." kagura said in a stern tone.

as she walked into the arena, she saw grey fullbuster - an ice mage, juvia lockser - a water mage, and rufus lore - a memory mage? 3 recognizable faces and 2 vaguely familiar ones - lyon vastis, and eve tearm. one ice mage, one snow mage.

nullpudding and jager were her main concerns, unsure of what magic they used.

a city formed behind them as mato explained the rules, saying it was a kind of hide and seek.

her lips curled into a smile as they were all teleported around the arena, and had to make a choice of where to hide.

but instead, she decided to not hide, but instead to actively hunt members of other guilds. it was easy with her magic, the magic of bones, they spoke to her, revealing locations, and once that happened, she could strike them down with one hit.

the points were easy to rack up.

one from eve. one from juvia. one from nullpudidng. one from jager. none of them were able to react fast enough to counter the information she already had, she slinked through the shadows, striking them down one by one until it was her versus rufus for 1st place.

she knew his magic, memory make. it didn't necessarily work to duplicate hers, as it was something she was born with and not something learnable.

as the games timer ended, rufus's meteor shower had racked up loads of points, but still - only one more than her. as she realized what she had to do, she shot out of the shadows, dashing at him, but ss her fist connected, the clock rang zero, and time was up - she didn't get the last point needed to win.

meanwhile!

"whoever goes up against her's gonna have hell to pay.." laxus chuckled, watching the event.

"what do you mean by that, laxus?" mirajane asked, a little confused.

"shes probably the strongest mage in this whole damn stadium." laxus recalled, he remembered how strong she was before, but now? 7 years of training, 7 of experience, no one stood a chance.

"can't be so sure, sparky.. she doesn't look very strong, 'm sure i could beat her." gajeel laughed, a mouth full of metal.

laxus just scoffed, knowing they would be forced to realize at some point.

however, it didnt seem to be them who would have to realize, as his name was called into the arena to verse her.

"good luck, laxus!" mira exclaimed as he walked into the arena.

"hey!" y/n said, as they were now facing each other in the arena.

she walked closer to him, before embracing him into a hug that he gladly reciprocated, and pressing a deep kiss to his lips.

with her arms around his neck, she was kissing all over his face, before telling him, "just like how it was when we used to train together, ok? nothing too much.."

"crowd seems interested." laxus noted, their response to her kisses on his face consisted of booing, probably directed at laxus.

her guild was going beserk, with the girls in the stands shrieking and cheering, as his seemed to be freaking out, with his frandfather passed out on the floor and natsus jaw hanging slightly open.

"oi, no bone stuff right?" laxus called out, as they both backed up, only to receive a no in response. "good girl," he laughed as she lit up bright up, her hands covering her mouth as she shook her head no.

eventually they did get to the fighting part, but it was just an extended spar, nothing too special about it, until she requipped into a swimsuit and flooded the arena.

"you're gonna get electrocuted, sweetheart," laxus chuckled, seeing her stunt to end the fight.

"'ts been going on for too long.." she laughed, before splashing some water at him.

"oh yea? so you give the points to me instead of letting it draw?" he teased, a smile on his face.

"exactly!" she smiled, "i'm tired."

"come take a nap in my room," he offered.

"hey laxus.." she laughed, "how about.. we hug, and you strike us both with lightning to see who lasts the longest?"

"it's gonna be me." he said, unwilling to lose this. "come here."

"take off your shirt." she mumbled, as she hugged his chest.

lightning struck around them, buzzing in the water, hitting both their bodies, it went on for a minute or two, until y/n went limp.

the way i lit cant keep up w my own series n drop it after one part..

ANYWAYSSD LAXUS SO FINE 😻😻😻

anyways so like stuff fr right!

sensitive reader x laxus BEFORE the battle of fairy tail but he has a soft spot for her

pls u guys its only like 350 words BUT I COULD WRITE MORE JS COMMENT FR 🙏🙏

"you don't like it?" she mumbled, her wide eyes filling with tears.

"gorgeous, that's not what-" laxus snapped, a little shocked at how quickly tears filled her eyes.

"i-i b-bought it because of you and i thought of you and i thought it was cute.." she sniffled, as she wiped her tears and hugged the thundercloud stuffed animal to her chest, the gift she had gotten laxus out of the blue. "and you've been in such a bad mood lately and-"

"yea?" he mumbled, staring at her, unsure of what to do. if it was anyone else, he wouldve belittled them - but it wasn't just anyone, it was her. and no matter how annoying she got at times or how sensitive she was, she was still always there for him, unflinching during his fits of rage, willing to take the lightning he sent at her in order to make him calm down. she wasn't necessarily strong but she was kind and she was sweet and she was loyal, and even if he didn't want to admit it - he loved her more than he could ever acknowledge, even if they were just 'friends'. "come here."

he gestured for her to come over, before instructing her to hand him the plushie and sit with him, letting her cuddle up to his chest, as he had his left arm around her and his right holding the plushie and examining it.

he scowled, before telling her that she was right, and the plushie was cute.

she smiled as they both adjusted their positioning, so that he was laying with his head propped on the arm of the sofa and she was laying on him, resting her head on his chest.

part 2

as explosions went off around her, the girl ducked behind the bar counter was preparing to put up a fight.

"oh poor little guys .. they're so weak!" a haughty female voice laughed, as she heard a few screams.

"now now, ever .. lets not let this get out of hand." a more stern voice replied.

"out of hand, out of hand", something mimicked.

she heard footsteps clamoring around where she was, a little switchblade was in her hand- though it would probably be useless against the group of wizards.

"oi, should we maybe get some drinks? laxus would like that.." a more jokerish voice laughed, as she heard heavy footsteps coming towards her.

as she saw a man turn around the bar, to presumably steal some alcohol, she took her chance.

she shot up, stabbing him in the shoulder and slamming his head into the shelf before turning around to get a look at the other 2 as she ducked back down.

she heard more explosions - directed at her this time, as a few beams of light broke through the counter.

she crawled over to the side of the counter as she regained line of sight with the two other intruders, the woman seemed more aggressive and like a bigger threat, and so she dealt with her first.

she whispered an incantation, a message more so, unheard to their ears, but not ignored by their bones.

her magic was unique, the ability to control bones. from those of animals to those of humans, she could control how they grew and how they moved, and how they mended. if she had a carcass lying around, she could 'give it life'. and if that didn't work out for her, she knew the basics of elemental magic.

the woman hunched over in pain, screaming and clutching her chest as her ribs grew inwards, pressing against her internal organs.

soon she collapsed, not because she was dead - not enough power was put into the spell for it to kill, and i could still hear her heartbeat, she passed out from the pain.

the other guy - green haired - had now learnt of my position. i saw him crafting enchantments earlier, but most enchantment users have a second kind of magic to fall back on.

with his knowledge of letter magic, and his ability to utilize jutsu shiki, it was better for her to come out then give him the time to write an enchantment and trap her.

she focused her energy into the shadows, before eventually merging with them, she reappeared behind the guy but he reacted faster than she predicted, he snapped a spell she couldn't make out, before an overwhelming feeling of fear struck her.

but fear didn't matter, strange people from a strsnge guild? did fear matter if she might just die now before she had a chance to live?

before she reacted, he said something else she couldn't distinguish. she was encapsulated by darkness, as she lost her vision. she couldn't see.

her fear heightened at the loss of one of her most important senses. but that was until she heard the voices, little whispers that fed her information.

the bones were speaking.

they were arguing actually, telling her he was in front of her but slightly left - how if she swung with her right hand she would hit him square in the jaw.

they suggested her to use a fire attack, as he grew used to lightning from some man named laxus?

as she took their advice, swinging her fire-clad fist at the unsuspecting man, he took the brunt of the hit in his jaw - knocking him over.

she heard the thud as the bones told her he was right in front of her and she could just kick him a little, and she did. one firm thwack into his side, leading to a cry of pain.

she stumbled backwards after the hit - assuming he would stay down - as she backed into a staircase and heard a bang.

she felt pieces of rock crumbling over her, as she realized the ceiling was collapsing. with her vision still gone, she couldn't dodge it. once again, she was horrified and scared - until she felt someones arms around her, picking her up and dragging her outside.

once he took her out of the building, she was far enough from the other guy to regain her eyesight, and in front of her was a very hunky looking blonde.

she was seated and he was towering over her, with a very upset expression on his face.

"hello." she said, looking up at his narrowed eyes, with wide ones. she instinctively wrapped her arms around her waist, as he examined her.

"tch." was the only response she got out of him, as she heard footsteps coming from somewhere else in the forest.

"laxus! w-we took out everyone but her and then she-" the green haired guy said, interrupting what the blonde was about to say.

"wiped out all three of you, now." he sneered this, before turning back to her, "how did you manage to take on all 3 of them?"

she just shrugged as she stood up and tried to leave, turning and walking away from the group.

this enraged the blonde, who happened to be a lightning magic user, as a bolt of lightning narrowly missed her.

she turned again, raising an eyebrow, "yes?".

"don't ignore me when im speaking to you." he snapped, walking closer to her.

"you wiped my guild." she hissed in reply, moving away further.

"they deserved it." laxus said, as he stared at her.

she was stunning. her h/c hair beautifully framing her face, fierce eyes of the most luxurious e/c, perfect body, and a dress that hugged her amazingly. she was gorgeous but not in the pin-up way, more in the intimidating way.

"what magic?" he said, further examining her. when he tried to 'feel' her, there was nothing. he couldn't detect a trace of her magic power.

"none of your business." she told him.

"what magic do you use?" he repeated, his voice rising.

"none. of. your. business." she hissed, her voice rising too. laxus was getting worked up, as the thunder legion watched a little bit confused.

"where are you going?" he growled.

"nowhere." she said, less aggressive this time. "you guys blew up my house, remember?"

"come with us." he told her, more of a demand than an ask.

"to where?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

"back to our guild, to my house." he snapped.

"i have no money." she replied, narrowing her eyes again.

"so?" he grumbled, before grabbing a bag and throwing it into her arms.

the bag was heavy, as she faulted under its weight, wobbling a little.

a laxus x reader drabble ig?? js me yapping 😞

HES SAUR FINE THOOUUUUUU

as they - she, kagura, milliana, risley and arana - exited the endless corridors of the labyrinth that was the preliminary for the grand magic games, they were met with a roaring audience. they finished sixth, out of 8, which wasn't too bad considering their competition.

the other 2 guilds already announced were fairy tail and quatro ceberus.

fairy tail hadn't participated in these games in a while, after their humiliating defeats. but this year - they might actually have a chance at victory. she knew too much about the guild, especially with her history, and she knew the tenrou team had returned and would be participating in the games. she didn't know many of the people on the team closely, but she heard of their names and saw some pictures from him.

he disappeared with the rest of them 7 years ago. not a word, and not a trace. she still remembered the day of his departure, how he took off from the tent and how she chased him in his lightning form, how she couldn't get there in time to help them fight but still watched as acnologia blew them to shreds. what she thought was the last seconds of his life.

but there they were, the friends he told her about, competing in a fight to be the best guild. she knew she should've been happy when she first saw their guild making a comeback, but she couldn't help the feeling of fear that swept across her heart. his friends were there, but where was he?

its been 3 months since their return, and she hasn't heard a word from him. she saw the members of his team cheering in the crowd with the rest of their guild, but the man she loved was nowhere to be found.

"what's on your mind?" kagura said, leaning over to the woman. they weren't close but kagura had seemed to take some kind of interest to her, occasionally checking up on her, asking her questions about her past.

"it's.. nothing." i replied, short vague responses was usually all kagura got out of me. but, if im being honest, what else could i give? i shouldn't be in these games right now, i'm in no condition to fight. maybe a few years ago, when i was strong, but now? my body is brittle and malnourished, my eyes are dead and i haven't smiled in years. my alcoholism has aged me an unreasonable amount, and i am just a shell of my former self. my magic power has depleted beyond what seems fixable, and i feel like im slipping away faster as each agonizing day passes. hauntingly beautiful, a ghost even.

it seems i have zoned out through three of the introductions as they are now announcing the second place.

as the crowd roared in excitement, the second place team came out - fairy tail team b. it felt as if the whole world was spinning, as if nothing existed in that moment except for me - and him.

he stood there, next to the pretty white haired girl - mirajane - unscathed and just how he looked 7 years ago. perfect. i felt as a smile bloomed onto my face, tears prickling my eyes. i couldn't hear the deafening roars of the crowd as sabertooth was announced, as my heartbeat seemed to drown them all out. i wanted to run, to run across the stadium into his arms, i wanted to cry about how i missed him, ask where he'd been, i wanted to throw myself into his arms and never leave. but i couldn't, i seemed glued to the spot i was standing, with my eyes glued to him, maybe he didn't recognize me. maybe he chose not to look, but still, he was alive.

a spark seemed to have been relit in me, that fiery spirit and my will to live. my gaze never seemed to leave him, as his eyes finally met mine. i saw how they widened a little in shock as he realized it was me, how his lips curled into a rare smile - not a smirk, but a smile. a geniune smile.

how it ended as quickly as it started, as the teams were dismissed and let to leave, how his guild pulled him away as i couldn't help but smile like a lovestruck fool.

and thats exactly what i was. lovestruck. i loved him and i would forever, the anguish and worry from the past 7 years seeming to lift off my heart. my beloved would be mine again soon, my perfect.

that night, i drank. shamelessly and without a fear, i hadn't touched a drop of alcohol for months, because what if i lost myself to it again? what if i started and couldn't stop? but it was different this time. i drank, not to forget but to celebrate, i drank because i loved him and i refuse to love in fear. i drank because i had a reason to live again, and i drank in celebration, instead of out of habit or to avoid my pain. i was an alcoholic but in those moment, i wasn't. in those moments, i was a 19 year old girl again. a 19 year old girl traveling fiore with the man of my dreams, a girl without a reason to cry. someone so endlessly happy and content.

a euphoric smile lit my features as i stumbled out of our bar, determined to find the one fairy tail was occupying - and after a few block, i settled at the rowdiest bar amongst the 20 i had seen, one with men flying around in barrels.

i entered the building, unnoticed, as i scanned the group for his face.

and there he was, in all his glory - sitting at a table surrounded by his friends.

i stumbled over, tripping over my feet a little, before finally getting to him, slumping myself over him, and wrapping my arm around his neck.

he was clearly less drunk than i was, as he tugged me into his lap, before wrapping me in a tight embrace.

"almost thought you were mad at me for a sec.." he whispered into her ear, as tears filled her eyes. she missed him so so much.

"could never be mad at you.." she replied, as her tears fell and her smile grew.

haymitch x reader oneshot ig?

"i do." the cursed words slipped out of her mouth, as she betrayed herself. she betrayed her mind, betrayed her heart, she married a man who would make her miserable. she married a man that wasn't him, a man that she did not love.

she dreamed of her wedding, since she was a kid and this wedding was beautiful, a stunning venue with a stunning cake and a stunning gown - a perfect wedding.

"perfect". something she'd never think she say, her perfect included him. her perfect always included him, always included haymitch abernathy.

but right now, he wasn't there. right now, he wasn't the one in the suit that she had walked down the isle to - no matter how badly she wanted it to be him, it wasn't. she walked down to isle and ended with a flamboyant capitol man, a man she had met a week ago.

she knew she wanted to be rich, well known - famous even, but is this really what she dreamed of? a life without the love of her life? a life she was forced to live?

she knew better, knew better than to zone out as they cut the cake, uncomfortable with how close her new "husband" was to her. she knew better than to be thinking about him of all people. but could she really help it? she loved him, of course she would miss him, what did they expect?

a wedding with random people, people she had never met before - hell, she didn't even know her maid of honor, and she was walked down the aisle by a butler.

her husband was too close for her comfort, his hand holding her tightly to his side, as she dreaded the events that would take place this evening, their wedding night.

she wouldn't have a choice but to submit, no matter how much she didn't want it - no matter how much she didn't want him, she was going to lose herself.

she had only given herself to haymitch in the past, letting her be his and his only, letting him claim her with the kisses he pressed onto her collarbone, his one and only. but not anymore, not his anymore, not his after she walked out on him in the middle of the night.

she remembered everything, as if it was just yesterday.

snows request for her to marry the capitol man, how he "convinced" her by threatening haymitch's life, how she lied and told haymitch that everything was fine and not to worry about it, how desperately she held him during the last week before her secret departure, where she would walk out in him in the middle of the night and take the first train down to the capital, the train ride that seemed to last too long as she couldn't glance at a clock without thinking about him, the time they woke up, the time she would give him his breakfast, the time he had his first drink of the day, a schedule that she had memorized, how tears fell as she thought about it, how he would wake up in an empty bed, how he would check both of their houses in the victors village, how he would then start waiting for her to come back from "the market" and when she didn't return, how he would go and ask the district folk if they had seen her, how he would've asked to peacekeepers to try and file a missing persons report, how he would've found out that she had applied for a district transfer and he would realize what happened, how she left him. he would've drinken himself half to death, she knew he would've but this time, she wasn't sure who would be there for him, to clean him up, to make sure he drank water, to hug him as he sobered up. but she knew one thing, she was sure of one thing - he would hate her.

that thought weighed heavy on her heart, the man she loved so much hating her was not something she wanted to imagine - losing the love of her life, her best friend, her favorite person, her soulmate.

i know places. 6

this one is so short but its wtvs !

she was, insanely nervous.

she was scared to remind haymitch of the dinner because what if he just suddenly decides not to go?

she already told amaryllis she would be there, hell - she said she would physically drag haymitch over to be there, but she didn't think she was necessarily strong enough to drag anyone around.

"haymitch?" she called, as she once again barged into the room - seeming to never learn her lesson but neither of them seeming to mind her seeing him unclothed.

"never gonna knock, are you?", haymitch's disgruntled voice called, from the recliner in his room, where he had a drink in hand and his other hand over his eye.

"thank god you're not naked this time!" she exclaimed, "anyway, start getting ready for the dinner.."

he mumbled something along the lines of "alright" before stumbling around his room, trying to find something to change into.

but to his suprise, she pulled out a washed, dried, and ironed set of haymitch's clothing.

"well thank you for stealing my clothes, sweetheart, i'll have you know i was very much looking for those,", he smiled, as he took them from her hand. "now, you wanna get out and let me change.. or would you prefer watching me?", he joked, about her previous "slight" intrusion of privacy that he didn't seem to really mind.

she blushed as she stepped out, "call me back in when you're done, ok? we still need to trim your beard and fix your hair."

"my beard?", he asked, a little shocked. "sweetheart, i'm not sure i'd need that.. "

she just smiled as she walked out of the room, and he figured she was going to do it anyways.

he didn't mind, his beard was a little scratchy - but no one really cared, he didn't have anyone around often so its not like anyone was ever looking at him, he was old and a hermit - he didn't need to be attractive to anyone.

he didn't really have the energy or motivation to maintain his appearance, unlike her - who seemed to care more about being hot than being alive.

"are you done yet?" she asked impatiently, outside of his door.

instead of replying, he just opened the door for her, and she seemed happy with how he looked, "oh! it fits you so well, haymitch!"

"well your body looks good .. now your face.." she told him, as she pulled him over to his bathroom. "your beard is too long and too short at the same time but also i don't think you'd look ok with a full blown beard.." , she said this as she went to the desk in the room and grabbed a chair, sitting him in front of the mirror, before draping him so she could trim his beard without getting hair everywhere.

"i swear you're gonna manage knick me or something.." he said, not trusting her with the scissors and electric trimmer - the best she could probably come up with in the capitol.

"i won't i swear.." she told him with a smile, before leaning over in front of him, and turning on the trimmer, and bursting out in laughter.

"im sorry! im sorry! i'm just-" she was laughing, really hard, wheezing almost, "just imagined how it would be if i messed up..."

the look on haymitch's face, was probably something that made him look absolutely terrified of the woman, as she tried again to start, and bursted out laughing again,"i'm sorry! you just looked so scared and it was funny.."

"ok im sorry i'm serious now and i'm not gonna laugh." she said, as she tried her best to not cackle, and in the end, she still had a shit-eating grin on her face as she leaned over in front of haymitch, and turned on the electric trimmer.

the woman started on the bottom, cleaning it up and shaving up from his neck. then she worked on the sides, and to haymitch's horror, he heard an "oops!" as she worked, but she swore that it was nothing and told him not to worry about it, as she moved on to his cheeks / upper jaw, cleaning up those sides too, before finally grabbing the scissors, and just shortening the beard.

after she finished that, he saw her reach up, to his head, to where he caught her hand, "sweetheart, absolutely not."

"pleasee it'll just be a little trim," she pleaded, "plus trimming your hair is good for you, you know."

as his gaze didn't move, and he didn't let go of her arm, she puffed in defeat, letting out a "alright.".

"now what was that 'oops' about earlier?" he asked her this, as he examined his beard in the mirror.

"nothing!", she told him, with a smile, "don't worry about that one.."

his beard was well cleaned up, not long anymore, but he wasn't clean shaven either, he didn't really mind though. if she liked it how it was after she cut it, he liked it too.

she smiled as he examined himself, before saying "you should let me do this more."

"absolutely not, sweetheart, i was about to have a heart attack earlier.", he told her.

"is that why you looked so funny? you looked scared out of your mind.." she giggled, as she remembered his face. "wait, haymitch, what time is it? the dinner is at 5."

"about time for the dinner," he told her, as he checked his watch, "lets go?"

she hesitated in her response, which indicated to him that she spent too much time helping him get ready, and didn't focus on herself.

"you look fine, sweetheart, better without all that gunk on your face.", he chuckled this, as he gestured to her face - that was usually covered in makeup, "plus you're not gonna have any during the games, you know."

she nodded as they walked to the elevator, the elevator covered in glass with a mirror behind them.

"stop looking at me like i'm always gonna flip out and start stabbing everything.", she hissed, as she realized what he was looking at.

he mumbled a "sorry sweetheart", before looking away, the elevator ride seeming to take hours under her harsh gaze.

it seemed she let it go as they reached the 4th floor, because amaryllis seemed excited to see her. engulfing her into a hug.

"hi!" y/n said, before hugging her back, with haymitch just looking at them both awkwardly. finnick approached them, a year younger than y/n, the same age as his tribute, as he shook haymitch and y/n's hands.

"well! now we've met the apple of the capitals eyes!" finnick laughed, as he looked the girl in the face, "and she happens to look better in person! those broadcasts are not doing you justice!"

"oh thank you!" she laughed, as she smiled at the man. "cameras aren't doing much justice for you either though! not even magazines seem to keep them satiated with the prince of district 4!"

he laughed at her little jokes, a smile on his face as they exchanged conversation, haymitch seeming a little annoyed.

once the 5 of them joined mags and the district 4 tribute at the table, food was served and they all began to eat, making small talk.

"oh dear.." mags murmured, as she saw the girl, leaving y/n her with a look of confusion on her face.

"cameras don't do her justice, do they?" finnick said, with a smirk as he pulled out the girls chair for her and letting her sit. she smiled at him, giggling to herself a little.

but still, even behind finnicks lighthearted words, there was something in his eyes, something in the gaze he shared with mags - he knew something.

everyone in this room knew something y/n didn't know, they knew of her future as a victor, they knew how what would happen, how it would play out.

snows new little plaything, the capitols favorite new toy, how she would learn eventually, how she would eventually share finnick's fate - but probably even worse, with how she looked.

haymitch watched their interactions, feeling a little bit of "something" in his chest, a feeling he didn't want to be able to identify. but still, he knew it was jealousy, with how she looked at finnick with a smile on her face - like a lovestruck teenager. and how his smile reflected his charm, on his youthful face.

haymitch wasn't anything like finnick, maybe they were both "blond" but finnick had more of a golden tint to his hair and skin, while haymitch was paler in that aspect. they both had "blue" eyes, but haymitch's were a colder blue, closer to grey, in comparison to finnick's which were almost green.

finnick still had a "baby face", with barely any wrinkles, while haymitch looked aged, he was even skinnier than finnick, while finnick was muscular, haymitch was definitely out of shape. his looks didn't even begin to compare to finnicks.

y/n didn't seem to mind the attention from both of the district 4 mentors, decided to just chatter with them while the district 4 girl and girl from 5 spoke softly to each other - haymitch wasnt sure why she was even thinking of allying with careers, a stupid choice because she wasn't physically strong enough to overpower any of them, and she was - in the games - at their mercy.

haymitch did eat, while also drinking a heavy amount, before excusing himself, taking the whole bottle and wandering off to somewhere on the floor.

the girl however, barely ate, preferring to just chat instead. when she saw her mentor had gone somewhere, she told them not to worry as he was a grown man who could take care of himself.

haymitch eventually chose the couch as his drinking location, emptying the whole bottle before deciding he was too lazy to find another one.

haymitch just laid there, letting time pass, as his mind dazed from the alcohol, drunk but not blacked out.

eventually, y/n grew worried, and dismissed herself to go search for the alcoholic, finding him quite quickly.

"haymitch?" she whispered, "cmon get up! its time to go back.."

to that he just groaned, refusing to comply until he felt her tugging at his hands trying to pull him up, "haymitch! we have to go..please?"

he mumbled something incoherent as he sat up, and stood up quickly, putting her on edge as she helped him steady himself, before bringing him to the elevator, he stumbled as they walked, leaning onto her for suport, with him nearly falling when she went to say bye to the district 4 tributes and mentors.

she tugged haymitch into the elevator with her, as he undid his tie and a few buttons on his shirt.

he mumbled something incoherent, leading her to ask what he said, and he repeated it louder.

"why are you doing this?" he slurred out, as he looked at her.

"excuse me?" y/n said in reply, a little confused.

"bein' all nice to me .. takin' care of me n stuff.. makin me think you have feelings or somethimg for me n going out to do that with o'dair.." he grumbled, sipping from his bottle, as he continued looking at her.

"would it really matter if i had feelings for you? you're helping basil plot to kill me either way, and we're probably gonna die in a week or so." she told him, closer to him, with a smile as she ran her finger along his jaw. "doesn't matter if i do or don't because we both know i'm not making it out of that arena.

eventually, after staring at her for a bit, he crashes his lips into her, kissing her aggressively, as she reciprocates, allowing him to push her into the wall.

it was later at night, and the whole floor was asleep, so they had to be a little more quiet - not that it was easy, she was perfect in every way possible, still gorgeous while wrapped around and stuffed full of him, still gorgeous while drooling all over his dick, everytime she did something, she seemed to look like a perfect picture, never caught off guard, always beautiful - at least that night she was, to him.

how she asked him not to leave marks, telling him to avoid doing anything to her collarbone, even going as far as prying his lips off of her neck, and that upset him, deeply.

she wasn't his to have. that was a reminder, he couldn't mark her or make her his because in reality, she wasn't his. outside of that drunken night, she wasn't his, she wasn't his girlfriend or his lover, she was a tribute that was going to die in a few days, she was another number, another statistic- she just happened to be prettier than the rest.

but still, that night, she was so gentle with him, hugging him and kissing him tenderly as if she was his to have, his to hold, wrapping herself in his arms after they both finished, crying as she came, leaving him to wipe her tears.

her face was burrowed in the crook of his neck, as she tried to fall asleep, and quickly succeeded.

haymitch could not fall asleep, however, and sobered up - realizing what he had done, how regrettable that choice would be, but still - how could he have resisted her? she was so beautiful and so kind, so perfect.

he knew better than to let her get close to him like this, it wouldn't end well - probably with him getting hurt, with him losing her.

he loved a woman that was practically already dead, a woman without a chance, a woman he can't save - no matter how hard he tried, or how hard he fought for sponsors.

a pretty face with a malnourished body, a kind personality with an unstable mind, small and fast but still weak, she wouldn't last in a fight to the death - hell, she couldn't even stand a chance in hand to hand combat.

the lucky one. 5

u guys i think i accidentally wrote the reader to be batshit insane sooo

nvm! mentions of the events from last chapter in case its triggering, self image issues

pit. pat. pit. pat. pit. pat.

the dripping sound of water from the sink he hadn't closed driving her crazy, but, it was 2 in the morning.

she wasn't allowed to walk due to the injury on her leg, she had been in the infirmary for 3 days.

she was going to be released tomorrow to go back to her room and it was crucial for her to minimally move her leg.

haymitch was asleep on the couch next to her, having opted to spend quite a bit of time in her infirmary room - this was the only time he had fallen asleep.

she didn't think he was doing it because he cared about her, but because he was scared she was going to try something again and no one would be there to stop her.

she wasn't sure why he cared so much over whether or not she did something to herself, but he did.

he hadn't been drinking as much lately, as alcohol wasn't allowed into the infirmary.

she didn't dare to wake the man, who rarely got any good sleep as indicated by the bags under his eyes.

there wasn't a nurse in the room, as it was late, and there wasn't an avox because haymitch dismissed them.

she had missed 3 training days, and hadn't met any tributes yet.

she was pretty sure that if she even tried to train, everyone else would already have allies.

basil had probably gone out of his way to sabotage her chances at knowing anyone, with him, haymitch and vanity being the only ones who knew about her injuries and what she did to herself.

basil had laughed when he found out, calling her dramatic.

haymitch had been giving her updates about what was happening outside of her little sterilized room, her escort would visit to just talk to her about fashion and stuff, her stylist came in once or twice to tell her about her plans with clothing.

coriolanus snow himself, the president, had come in to check on her.

he told her that she was a very valuable tribute, and that he was there to personally check on her face, to see how it would heal, telling her that that was something that made her insanely valuable.

after he sat on her bed, leaning in and observing her face, he told her he would be back soon - hopefully after her games, and beyond that, when he was leaving - he said something peculiar.

"may the odds be ever in your favor, but i'm sure they will be."

he emphasized sure, as if it was a promise, a message for her.

she wasn't sure what he was thinking of, or if she was just thinking too much.

after that, the head gamemaker visited her. burgundy skymark, known for her bloody and exciting games.

she wasn't as close to the girl as snow was, but her presence was dominating, a little scary.

she examined the room, before asking, "what are you good at?"

the girl was a little shocked by this question, before letting out an "i dont know".

"well, that's unfortunate. that might just make or break your games, can you do anything that'll help keep you alive?", the woman said her eyes finally landing on the girl.

her eyes were peculiar, her pupils blood red and her irises black.

"i- i can forage pretty well .. i know a lot about plants? poisonous ones, and the not poisonous ones .. and when i was younger i would play around with the poisonous ones in our district , eating a little bit every day and eventually upping the dosages to see what would happen.. i can eat a few nightlock berries w-without dying .. stopped after my mom found out." , she told the woman, fear in her voice.

"that... is, spectacular. now anything else? are you fast, or anything like that? what weapons are you good with?", the woman asked, her eyebrows quirked.

"um.. i'm pretty fast i think .. and i'm good at climbing trees.. oh and im super flexible! i can bend all the way backwards when im standing, and then touch my toes." she told the woman, trying to think of anything.

"weapons?" she asked, her intense gaze still on the girl.

"i-i've never used a weapon before but i know a lot about the human body?" she said this, trying to find something.

"elaborate on that." she snapped, demanding.

"i- i mean like i know how to kill someone, their organs and w-where to stab .. and p-pressure points .. oh and i know how poison affects people too.." she said, a little scared.

"what about your aim?" the woman asked, not sure if the girl ever held a bow or throwing knives.

"i'm not .. sure?", she said this as the woman tsked.

"can you swim?" the woman asked, "can you climb mountains?"

"oh .. yea! i can swim and i'm pretty good at climbing mountains? my balance is pretty good." she told her, the woman seemed ok with this answer, as she left her room shortly after this.

the girl was pulled out of her thoughts by haymitch coughing slightly, which reminded her it was 2 in the morning and that the water was still pattering into the sink.

the woman let out a frustrated grunt, before grabbing her pillow and throwing it over her face, trying to muffle the noise of the water - only for it to get louder.

apparently, her grunt had woken up haymitch, who pulled the pillow off her face.

"what are you doing?" he grumped, having just been woken up.

"the water! the faucet isn't closed correctly! i hear it dripping!" she whined, having been tormented with the sound for hours.

he mumbled something under his breath before going to check, "sweetheart theres no water dropping out of the faucet!"

"there has to be! i hear it!" she snapped.

"well there isn't.. sink is dry too." he told her, from the bathroom.

"i still hear it." she snapped this, having not been able to sleep over the sound.

"i hear absolutely nothing." he told her, before resuming his previous position on the couch.

"ughh!" she grumped, before covering her face with the pillow again in an attempt to quiet the sound .. only for it to get louder. "haymitch."

"what? what is it, sweetheart?" he huffed with a scowl on his face, his patience very very thin.

"my pillow. it sounds weird." she told him.

"you've gotta be kidding me.." he mumbled, "let me see."

she threw the pillow at him, as he caught it, pressing it against his ear. "i hear absolutely nothing."

"give it back!" she told him, as he threw it back at her, "i hear the water!"

"sweetheart, i think its time for you to get some sleep." he told her, looking at her questioningly.

"but my pillow sounds weird." she told him, with a frown.

"how about we trade?" he told her, grabbing the couch pillow he was laying on. they exchanged pillows as they both laid down to sleep, his pillow smelling like pure alcohol.

"i still hear it." she told him, as she laid on his pillow. "it's coming from your pillow now."

"i'm about to call a nurse and tell them you're hallucinating." he told her.

"but i'm not. i literally hear it." she told him.

he gave her a look, a little bit of a "what the hell are you on," kind of look.

"throw the pillow out." she demanded.

"and what am i gonna sleep on instead?" he asked her.

"you can use me as a pillow, now throw it out." she snapped.

"you? sweetheart, you're pretty and all but i don't think you'd be a very good pillow ..." he said, looking at her like she was insane.

the glare she gave him was convincing enough for him to put the pillow outside of the door, as he walked back inside, closing the door.

"you still hear it?", he grumped, unhappy at what she was making him do.

"yes i still hear it." she said. confused.

"wow sweetheart, you want me to throw that pillow out too?" he remarked sarcastically, gesturing to the pillow she was laying on.

"yes, please do." she told him, willing to do anything to stop hearing the pitter patter of water.

he rolled his eyes, before throwing her pillow out too.

"you still hear it?" he asked, he was disgruntled, partially joking.

"yes. this is literally driving me crazy i swear to god." she said, as she put her hands over her ears curling into herself. but to her dismay, the pattering got louder.

she reached over her bedside table, grabbing a pen as haymitch realized what she was about to do, he lunged over, grabbing her arm as she aimed the pen at her ear, in an attempt to stab the pattering away - out of her head.

haymitch hissed out a very agitated, "what the hell are you doing.."

"i hear it! it gets louder when i cover my ears and i hear it i hate it." she snarled, as she fought him, with tears in her eyes.

"gonna fucking kill yourself i swear to god ... if you stab yourself in the ear, its gonna go straight to your brain." he told her, as he fought the pen out of her hand.

"i hear it." she told him, tears in her eyes.

haymitch was unsure of what to say, what to do. the woman who nearly just killed herself, an unstable woman.

he threw the pen across the room, away from her and engulfed her in a hug.

"don't ever try something like that again, i don't care what happens." he whispered into her ear. "i'll stay up with you, until the water stops, ok?"

she nodded with tears in her eyes as he didn't stop hugging her, he was like a human straitjacket at the moment.

eventually he did relax his arms, adjusting their position and letting her find something comfortable, where she ended up with her face in his chest, as he held her while they laid down. he felt the fabric covering his chest wet with tears of frustration, as the sound didn't stop.

he stroked the top of her head, telling her to try and get some sleep.

"i feel like im going crazy." she told him, still crying.

"you're not crazy." he promised her this, holding her still.

"it feels like im losing myself." she told him, as tears streamed down her face, "it feels like im losing my mind."

he just pulled her up, looking into her eyes, as he let her keep talking to him.

"it's like everything is slipping away .. i act so differently and i think so differently now .. but also i'm not thinking about anything at all and.." she sniffled as she told him this, "usually before, i just took anything anyone said - because they were probably jealous - but now, whenever someones mean to me .. i start thinking about doing really bad things to them."

"bad things?" he asked, unsure what she was saying.

"l-like killing them .. or torturing them and everything, and it's really bad because i start imagining it and thinking about it.." she whispered to him, tears in her eyes.

haymitch just sighed, caressing her cheek as he let her continue.

"a-and thats not like me at all because u-usually i couldn't even think of an animal dying without being really really sad .. and i couldn't even pick all the flowers in a patch without feeling bad about 'killing them all off'.." her voice was scared, shaky, unsure of what was happening to her.

"a-and lately i've been seeing those things happen to them .. like i stare at that person and i see those things happening to them in real time but then i blink and its gone.. but also sometimes im really really happy, like i really wanna do everything and i just can't stop smiling or anything." she was sniffling, sobbing as he looked at her, his face undistorted, "a-and maybe i was always like this but it's finally just coming out .. like i've always been a bad person."

"if you were a bad person, you wouldn't be crying over this right now," he told her this, as he brushed some hair out of her face, "i'm not a shrink, sweetheart, i'm not really sure what to say."

"b-but even before .. it felt like this sometimes, like i hated everyone and i just wanted them to die and sometimes i did think about it ... i was so angry sometimes. and that i hated myself, and i wanted myself to die but usually when that happened i just went out and started talking to people and giving them food and stuff.. it felt like i was faking it, faking being nice so i wouldn't be bad."

he hesitated before he spoke, not wanting to upset her further, "i think ... you're just stressed because of the games."

"are you sure? what if its something else? what if something is actually really wrong with me?" she whispered, tears in her eyes.

"you're not a bad person, sweetheart. takin' care of me when i get too drunk, smiling at everyone, running around and calling everything pretty, if you're a bad person - theres no hope for the rest of us." he told her this, with a smile on his face, "like one of those fairytale princesses in real life, sweet girl. now, stop trying to hurt yourself because theres absolutely nothing wrong with you."

she had matched his smile at first, before it vanished, and she went back to crying, apologizing for stressing him with that, tears streaking down her cheek again.

"not even sure why you would wanna do that in the first place, pretty girl. gorgeous face, gorgeous body, gorgeous personality, all i can say about you is gorgeous in every way possible.", he told her this as he hugged her closer to him, as she cried harder.

"why are you so nice to me.. i don't deserve it, 'm not even that pretty", she sobbed out.

the realization rang in his head. she didn't think she was pretty, one of the only things people saw about her. she had grown up in a world all about looks - because thats what people would see when they saw her, that she was gorgeous - and that was what they would tell her about, her being pretty. looks were put on a pedestal in her mind, the most important thing because it's what got her friends, and people to be around her - and she didn't think she had that, she didn't think she had the thing that she thought would make every one like her.

in her world, where beauty was everything, she didn't think she was beautiful.

then it all made sense to him, the starving, the stabbing, the fit she threw that ended her in the infirmary.

how he didn't understand why she was smashing mirrors, and the bottle on the table - then he realized, everything she broke was reflective.

they reflected her face and her room had a million mirrors in it. they reflected the face she thought was "ugly", the reflections a reminder that she was "ugly", a reminder that would shatter a girl based on looks, and when she couldn't get rid of the reminders - she tried to get rid of the thing they were reminding her of.

when that didn't work, in her frustration, she stabbed herself.

as he thought about it, everything made more sense.

when she worked in the bar, the men would've made comments about her weight, something they loved doing to women - little things like, "are you really eating all of that?", "you should watch out for your figure more", "shes pretty but she could be skinnier,".

the girl was young at the time, those comments definitely taking an effect on her, sprouting into her disordered eating habits that seemed to be triggered by stress.

how she felt insane and how she felt like a bad person, how the thoughts came quicker as the games neared - the thoughts coming faster as she stressed more, having been revealed due to her being under the constant stress of the games.

as he was in his own thoughts, he felt her breathing become calmer, more even as she stopped crying.

he stroked her head again, as he just watched her - not wanting to know what would happen if she woke up and he wasn't awake, unwilling to risk her having another "episode".

later in the morning, at around 5, haymitch got up and went back to the couch, knowing the reaction if a nurse caught him in bed with the girl.

his head was hurting a bit, from his lack of sleep and lack of alcohol. he slipped out of her room, for just a second to grab something to drink, coming back to find her awake.

"whered you go?" she asked him, sad.

"for some refreshments," he replied with a smirk, as she saw his bottle and glass. "nurse should be coming in a bit, supposed to check you to make sure you can train."

she let out a groan, putting her head back down.

"my head hurts.", she whined.

"hey sweetheart," he called,

"what." she grumped, not really happy.

"you still hearing water?", he teased.

"stop.", she said with a frown.

"just trying to make sure you stopped hallucinating," he half-joked.

"i don't hear water." she answered, begrudgingly.

at that, her nurse entered the room, letting out a "oh good! you're awake.", she walked towards the bed before she stopped and saw haymitch, with a bottle of whiskey and a glass in his hand next to the girls bed, she gave him a glaring look before deciding not to say anything.

the woman examined the girl, having her walk around the room, do some squats, and stretch.

y/n seemed to be ok, so she dismissed her from the infirmary.

there were 2 hours before the training, so she and haymitch just went back to their floor instead.

once she went up, she was hugged by her escort, "oh dear! i missed you so much, the guys are driving me crazy!"

the woman just smiled and hugged her back, before going to her room, to which haymitch considered following her - until he decided against it.

he just sat down on the sofa to enjoy his drink, waiting for her to come out, and it took her a whole 2 hours.

he felt it was taking her a little long, and he had no idea what was taking her so long - 2 hours? what could she even be doing in there?

when she finally came out, she was literally glowing.

"2 hours." he grumbled, as she sat down in front of him with a smile.

"felt like 2 minutes honestly! haven't been able to take care of myself like that for so long!" she told him excitedly, she had done everything - a hair mask, face mask, hand mask, foot mask, she waxed, she took an hour long shower and she did her makeup.

he just looked at her as if she was crazy, "ok sweetheart but you have a training in 3 minutes and basil is already down there."

"oh! wait hows it gonna go?" she asked him this, as she pressed the elevator, "like what's the general idea of whats gonna happen?"

"you'll probably just find whatever you're good at and keep yourself busy, if they wanna be your ally they'll come to you." he told her, sipping his drink as she waited for the elevator.

the elevator came with a ding, as haymitch raised his hand in a goodbye, and she went down - scared out of her mind.

as she arrived on the training floor, it seemed all eyes were on her - stuck to her, and following her as she walked around, inspecting the equipment and trying to find something she might be good at.

the woman landed on a pack of throwing knives, and a bow.

the throwing knives were small, but sharp, small so they could be fast and sharp so they could land in the soft skin of a person, but there were also a variety that were dull - meant to be thrown with force and shatter bones.

she was nervous, feeling almost every eye in the arena on her, as she saw the knives, grabbing 2, and throwing both of them rapidly - landing in the stomach and head of the bot, impressive seeing she threw them almost at the same time - fast and precise.

this time, she grabbed another 2, a dull one and a sharp one - the dull was more weighted, meant to be thrown harder so it could hit harder, but it was still sharp, as it was a knife.

she stood back further, around 10 feet further than before, and launched them again, this time hitting the exact same spots with a smile on her face.

she continued moving back, and throwing knives like that - making sure they landed in the exact same spots, a display of her precision, speed, and accuracy.

once she was done with the pack, she went up to the bot, examining the wounds, not a single knife had missed, and every single knife she threw was a fatal blow.

she seemed shocked as that as she smiled, and clapped her hands together, unaware that she had the attention of the whole room.

this time she moved over to the bow and arrows, standing back further - halfway across the room, before she bent backward, contorted in a disturbing way, her face in between her calves, and looking at the bot, she shot the arrow from the floor like that, hitting the bot dead center in between the eyes, before she uncontortioned herself, firing another arrow - splitting the previous one.

once again, she grinned and lightly clapped her hands together - a childish excitement, and because of her peculiar way of shooting the first arrow, she held the attention of a few of the tributes still.

she wasn't sure how to train now, instead decided to go hand to hand against a bot.

she was small, hard to hit, fast, and precise with her strikes, always having a purpose with how she punched.

she let the bot get the upper hand, as it pinned her in a chokehold and she fought her way out of it.

the attention of the other tributes had faded as she continued this little routine, until she got bored - unsure of what to do, and decided to find a friendly looking person to chat with.

everyone seemed to be in their own groups already, the career pack, and everyone else.

she saw how her previous observations stood to be true, with the girl from 4 occasionally looking over at the girl from 5, the boy from 2 comforting the girl from 2, and how the couple from 1 was a little too touchy for them to just be friends.

she remembered haymitch's warnings, but still decided the career pack was the best option.

and she knew exactly how to start a conversation.

once the girl from 4 was by herself, she walked over to her and sat down next to her.

"shes pretty isn't she?" she told the girl from 4, a smile on her face.

"excuse me?" she asked, confused.

"her!" she smiled, as she pointed to the girl from 5, "you like her don't you? i see how you look at her across the room.

before the girl from 4 could reply, the look of shock gave her away.

"don't worry! i won't tell, i pinky promise!" she told her this, as she stuck up her pinky. as the girl intertwined hers with hers, a shocked look on the girl from 4s face, and one on her face. "wait whats your name?"

"i- amaryllis.." she said, still a little shocked.

"well! amaryllis, its really nice to meet you! i hope we have more opportunities to talk in the future, i'm y/n!" she told her, a smile still on her face. "please don't be worried or anything, i already pinky promised not to tell! i'd never break a pinky promise .. but i do admit, i came over to you and started a conversation wrong. borderline blackmailing is definitely not a good way to make friends!"

"y-yea i guess.." she whispered, confused.

"could you teach me how to tie a fishing knot?" she asked.

"w-what?" amaryllis replied, confused.

"a fishing knot! you're from 4 right? so you know about knots and fishing and everything, i remember a game where the fish were the only thing that was safe to eat, teach me how to tie a fishing knot please? i'll teach you about medicinal plants!"

"alright?" she said again, still a little in shock.

"so you just bring the hook under the bridge, make a bunny and loop it through!" she said, a little more excited.

"um." y/n was a little lost, "i like bunnies so honestly its totally fine!"

amaryllis laughed at this, happy about the girls optimism.

"it's ok, i think you're gonna get frustrated pretty soon so how about you start teaching me about plants?" she told her with a smile.

"oh of course! 1 write this down because i'm reciting as much as i can as fast as i can, ok?" she told her this, before handing her a sketchbook.

"ok so general information, green, yellow and white berries are almost always poisonous, red berries have a 50% chance so don't risk it with those, berries in clusters are bad too, if they're bitter, theyre poisonous, if you can't tell from those, crush the berry and put the juices on your inner arm, if its irritated, its bad, if its not, test some more, avoid berries on creeper plants - like vines and stuff, if they look weird, don't try them, if theyre black, don't try them, if theyre bulgy, dont try them. basically only eat what you can recognize - blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, etc., if you can't identify it make sure you test it. if its white, dont eat it, if it has dots, dont eat it." she said all of this, purely from memory. "and for edible flowers, if you can find a katniss plant, you'll never starve, chrysanthemums, sunflowers, carnations, violets, pansy, tulips, roses, honeysuckle, and lavender are all very common edible flowers - but if they're too bright don't eat them, if their smell is off, don't eat them, if anything is artificial about them, don't eat them, dadnelions, daisies, and red and white clovers are all weeds that are edible, don't eat mushrooms because you won't be able to tell if they're poisonous or not. and for berries, just because an animal eats it doesn't mean its safe - i don't care how desperate you get because the human body can go for up to 2 weeks without food, as long as you have water, your mentor is smart and you're from a career district so you'll have loads of sponsors - you probably won't starve, or dehydrate so this isn't something that you necessarily need to worry about."

"haven't you heard?" she told her, "literally everyone plans to sponsor you this year! thats why everyone was staring at you, they wanted to know what the sponsors were on about."

"ehh its probably all my mentor anyway.." she told her, hesitating a little.

"are you kidding? literally half the country is in love with you at this point, they go crazy whenever you do anything!" amaryllis squealed, "almost everyone wanted to ally with you at first, but then you didn't show up on the first day and no one knew what happened."

"really?". she asked the girl, a little shocked.

"yea! don't you see how the careers are totally staring at us? they're gonna ask me to introduce you to them at some point!" she told her.

"oh .. well i don't really want to be part of their little pack thing .. my mentor told me to stay away from them and everything." she told amaryllis, a little shocked.

"wait then why did you come over to talk to me?". she questioned, confused.

"oh! because i saw you and 'her' at the tribute parade, saw how you looked at her and i figured you were going to go find her instead of sticking with the careers,", y/n replied, explaining her observation, "wanted to be apart of your little group!"

"i'm going to stay with the careers.. they're probably the biggest threat in this arena, except for maybe you, i have to protect her from them." she informed y/n, leading to y/n to let out a shocked "oh!"

"well then i'm not sure who i'd want to ally with then ... hey, you know your mentor is finnick odair right?" she said, asking the girl.

"well- yea, but he's working with mags flannigan and stuff.. shes his mentor," amaryllis explained.

"tell him to help mentor me a little please i need to learn more about fishing / swimming ! i can't do either of those , i suck at fishing and i can barely swim." she laughed, a smile on her face.

"oh well .. i heard you could invite tributes over for dinner! you should join us tonight!" she smiled, "gonna have 'her' there .. wanna say its a thing between friends, you know?"

"yea i totally get it! we have to bring our mentors though right? i'm not sure i could make mine go." she laughed, again, "he drinks alot. "

"girl ! everyone knows that, haymitch abernathy is a drunk." she smiled, "just try to convince him, ok?"

"alright! i'll try my best!", the woman laughed. "what time is it? we can leave at 2 right? don't wanna be here anymore.. this room feels so weird"

"i know right! and it's 2 so you could go right now." amaryllis said, "see you tonight?"

"yep! see you tonight!" she smiled, as she walked towards the elevator.

as the elevator ascended, she tried to figure out how to convince haymitch to let her go, and how to convince him to go with her.

the elevator dinged as she went back up, haymitch no longer on the sofa.

she went to his room, barging in and finding him with nothing except a towel covering him, with him having just come out of the shower.

"seems like someone doesn't know how to knock.." he mumbled, as he poured himself a glass of whiskey from one of the many bottles on his counter.

she stared a little, taking him in.

he was fit, a drunk but still in pretty good shape physically.

he didn't have abs but he still looked good, not toned or anything but still attractive. and she noticed it, a little trail of hair leading downwards.

she seemed to be fighting to keep her eyes on his face as she stopped herself from going any lower.

he looked at her with a questioning look, as she fought to keep her focus.

"you know what! i-im gonna go.." she said, as she left the room, quicker than she came in. until she remembered what she needed. "um so actually!" she said, barging back in, catching the man about to drop his towel and put on his clothes. "i-i need you to come somewhere with me tonight .. its a um a dinner and theres gonna be a girl from 5 with her mentor, and its going to be on the floor for 4, with their mentors and both their tributes.

"you made friends with 4?", he told her, "cover your eyes," before dropping his towel, her eyes were squeezed tightly shut with her hands over them too, "anyway, 4?"

"y-yea! the girls really nice and i have something on her that i would tell you but i cant because its a secret and you might tell people! her name is amaryllis and i havent met the girl from 5 but i know about her and they're totally cool and yea!" she said, her words coming out really fast, "can i look now?"

"you can look now, sweetheart" he told her, but he was still only in his underwear.

"wow um so are you gonna.. go? i can't go if you don't and i really wanna go cause i already promised and everything.." she told him this, talking quickly as a blush spread on her face.

the sweet nothing. 4

trigger warning for this chapter is basically reader getting upset w her face and has a whole mental breakdown where she get violent towards herself and its a little very graphic

i loved this fic when i started writing it but now im kinda hating how im writing it out 😭

she rolled out of her glamorous, luxurious bed, memories of last night flooding her mind.

she and haymitch didn't do anything, she wasn't sure if she would want to do any with him if she got the opportunity anyway.

he was drunk out of his mind, she doubted he would remember anything she said that night either way.

she slipped downstairs, still wearing her clothes from the previous night, her hair a little tussled and her as an entirety looked like a mess. a beautiful mess.

it was 8 in the morning but she was excited, today was her first training and she couldn't keep the anxiety out of her veins - what would she do? she's not strong, she can't keep up with the bigger tributes who could probably snap her in half effortlessly.

she once again, stole the job from an avox and prepared the table, silently helping them set the food.

her escort was the first to wake, as she saw the tribute doing an avox's job, "oh dear! you don't need to do that .. an avox will!", she explained, assuming the girl didn't know.

"oh no, i just wanted to do it .. kinda helps me clear my mind in a way." she told her escort, with a smile on her face. "they made fresh croissants! did you know they do that? they smell sooo good!", the tribute gushed.

"oh dear yes .. i avoid those though. a lot of butter, not good for the figure.." her escort muttered, a little shocked her tribute was doing chores.

"how'd you sleep?", the girl asked, attempting to continue the conversation with her already glamourized escort.

"oh i slept well! i always sleep well, capital beds are amazing." the escort replied, as she pulled out a compact mirror and fixed up her makeup.

"come sit!" the girl gestured, as she finished setting the table.

"dear i really don't think you should be doing this stuff .. it's an avox's job after all." her escort whispered, trying to make sure the avoxes didnt hear.

"oh what happened to them anyway? they choose to work here right?, the girl asked, oblivious to the conditions of an avox.

"um well no, avoxes are people from the districts who disobeyed rules/laws, so they got their tongues cut off. its quite gruesome really, but they help serve us with stuff." the escort replied, shocking the girl a little.

before she could reply, her district partner walked into the kitchen, he probably couldn't sleep, just like her.

"our training's at 9, and lasts until 3," she told him, having memorized the schedule they were given. "we have an hour to eat, i'm gonna go see where haymitch is."

basil rolled her eyes at this, scoffing out a "do you have a crush on him or something".

she ignored his statement and just continued to haymitch's room.

once she got there, she knocked a few times, then just entered.

in the room, she found her mentor wasted on the bed, a bottle in his hand, his vomit covered shirt on the floor, and the stench of the expensive capitol liquor lingering.

"jesus.." she whispered, as she navigated her way deeper into the room.

she knew the man was a mess, but not this much of a mess, there were a few broken bottles on the floor, making it unsafe to walk barefooted, she felt horrible for the man - he probably kept drinking after she left him to go to sleep last night.

she neared his bed and tapped on his shoulder, calling his name, when he didn't wake, she shook his body a little bit.

when he did wake up, he swung a bottle that barely missed her head and shattered on the wall, causing her to yelp out.

"um! i'm sorry for waking you i guess!" she said, as she backed off the bed, out of his reach.

the fear on his face, as tears welled in his eyes as he realized what he just tried to do.

"shit.. sweetheart." he mumbled, before he sat up, "i didn't mean-", was all he managed to slur out as he planted his bare feet onto the floor full of shattered liquor bottles carelessly, as he cursed loudly and fell back onto the bed.

"haymitch!" she hissed, as she realized what he did, blood dripping from his feet. she ran into the bathroom and grabbed a wet cloth, turning on the lights of the dark room in the process. as she got back, she saw him lying there a little hopelessly, bleeding and drinking from the bottle he had in his hand.

"it's gonna hurt a little, but if it hurts too much tell me because then that means there glass in your foot.." she told him, as she crouched down to examine it. dabbing at the blood with the wet rag, thankfully there actually was no glass in his foot.

"'m so sorry sweetheart .. shouldn't have drinken so much, t's you're training ... 'm a horrible mentor.." he managed out, as she heard his tears a little. he was definitely drunk out of his mind.

"dont worry about it! we're just gonna like train right? like it'll be a little gym full of weapons .. not that hard to navigate!" she told him, in an attempt to reassure him, as she cleaned the cuts on his foot. "i'm not sure you're gonna be able to walk okay for a bit .. if there any sharp piercing pains tell me because then that means theres glass in your food."

haymitch was sat up now, his hand carressing her cheek, "not just the training though .. haven't helped you with anything, haven't taught you the first thing about survivin' in that arena." he, said that in barely a whisper, regret tainting his voice. "haven't been a good mentor to anyone for a while.."

"oh haymitch! it's fine, you did what you could, and it didn't work, it's not your fault these games exist - they were kids, and they shouldn't have been expected to be able to kill." she told him, trying to assure him, his eyes clouded and wide. her district partners words last night clearly got to him, his attempt to smash a bottle over her head probably not helping his peace of mind either.

"please haymitch .. don't worry about it, come down to breakfast? ill get you some slippers so you can walk in the glass, and some water so you can rehydrate. i'll ask someone to come clean your room and if you dont trust them to then i can do it later tonight, is that okay with you?" she whispered, as she stood up and looked down at the sad man. "i'm gonna go find some of that capital instaheal stuff and get you some water and slippers right now, and then we can walk down to breakfast together?"

he hesitated, a sad look still in his eyes, but unwilling to turn down the woman who was trying to help him. she took him not objecting as a yes, so she gave him a hug and went on her way to find him the stuff.

once she returned to his room, she found him lying down again, his arm over his head.

she made her way back over to him, shaking him awake again.

when he moved his arm down, she finally got a clear look at his face that day. little claw marks on his cheek from his own hand, bags and dark circles under his eyes, his haunted blue eyes, his face carrying more weight than she could see before.

he sat up when he saw her, she passed him the water and applied the instaheal ointment, bandaging his food and then helping him put on his slippers, him not even expecting himself to be this vulnerable - especially with a woman whom he barely knows.

"the ointment should take a while to work .. i can help you walk right now, though!" she told him, "you have to eat .. especially after drinking so much! i remember once i took a shot of fireball and i didn't eat for a bit and i ended up in the icu, and i don't want that to happen to you.. just finish your water right now and then we can go back down to breakfast, we only have 30 minutes to eat."

"don't have to baby me.." he grumbled, the only reply she gave him was a gentle touch on his shoulder as she moved closer to examine the marks on the disgruntled man's face.

"drink your water faster so you have time to eat and then shower too, you smell." she told him, not letting the "smell" repel her.

"i smell, so why are you still so insistent on being close to me, sweetheart?" he teased, regaining a bit of the ego of his previous self.

she just laughed, "looking at your handsome face is soo much more important to me than avoiding the smell of alcohol!", she joked, as she winked at him.

he chuckled before finishing his water, and she straightened up to help him down to breakfast.

"can walk by myself, hon", he told her as she grabbed his arm.

"still wanna hold your arm!" she replied, excitedly. "i'm so excited for the training today, and kind of scared but also so excited! can't wait to meet everyone! i was too late at the parade to talk to anyone."

they kept walking together, with her talking and haymitch listening keenly to what she was saying while she was clinging to his arm.

eventually they did make it to the table, and her escort was the first to notice them, letting out a "oh dear! you were gone forever, was about to go check on you!"

"oh no! i was totally fine, vanity! i was just helping him clean up a little." she replied, as she sat down at her previous spot, directly across from haymitch.

"helping him 'clean' up" her district partner mocked, much to her annoyance.

she just ignored him, the implications of his words something not worth dealing with.

"i'm gonna go change into something practical and get ready for training." she told them this, as she dismissed herself - having not sat down for even 2 minutes.

she stood up and almost made it out of the room before their resident alcoholic rang out a, "have you eaten?"

she turned her head sharply and asked a, "what?"

"have you eaten? lately? after you got reaped?" he clarified, noticing that she was skipping meals wasn't an observation she expected him to make.

"yes , of course i have" she told him, her tone sharp and dismissive of the conversation - something that wasn't common for her.

"and what have you eaten exactly, dear?" her escort asked, the question haymitch brought up something concerning to her.

"some ham and fruit,", she lied, she hadn't eaten.

"only? oh dear ! you're going to pass out the moment you try to lift something during your training .. come eat!" her escort exclaimed, waving the girl over.

"i'm not hungry," she told them, dismissing their worries.

she walked out of the room, ignoring them as she heard basil proclaim something along the lines of "told you she was anorexic".

her irritation quickly faded, as she walked into her room, sitting at her vanity.

she opened the drawer, trying to find cosmetic products - and that was exactly what she found.

she picked out a concealor in her shade, a sunscreen to go under it, and used the moisturizer from the day before under both of those products.

as she spot concealed and layered on the skincare, she found a lip tint that she proceeded to use on her lips, leaving them a lighter red, then she applied some waterproof mascara before drawing on a small wing with kohl eyeliner, smudging it out a little to blend better in her eye, and then adding some highlighter on her nose and inner corners.

once she finished that, she put on her training uniform.

she soon exited her room, with 5 minutes left to get to the training area.

haymitch, vanity and basil were already waiting for her, apparently she took forever.

"well! guess who finally showed up," haymitch grumbled, as she appeared.

"..didn't even take that long." she mumbled, a little annoyed back at him - she didn't really like how she looked that day.

"well .. the elevator goes straight down to the training center so we have time to .. chat?" vanity said, not necessarily understand the aura of the room.

"alright, how are you two going to try and market yourselves? any ideas?", haymitch said, sipping from his drink.

"not 'you two', i wanna be apart from him", she grumbled with an uncharacteristic frown.

"don't wanna be with you either", he snapped, with a glare.

she rolled her eyes, clearly not in a good mood - heavily contrasting with how she was before breakfast, when she was nothing but sweet.

haymitch just grunted as he leaned back, continuing to drink, not necessarily wanting to deal with the pair at the moment.

they sat in silence for a little bit, before she saw her reflection in a crystal bottle. her face obviously a little distorted, but still the image distressed her.

"ugh!" she hissed, as she threw the bottle on the floor, shattering it and storming away.

she left all 3 of them confused with her sudden upsetness, as they all exchanged looks - or not all, just vanity looking up with a look of concern and confusion, and haymitch continuing to drink, basil irritated.

"she's probably just on her period or something", basil mumbled, "women are so sensitive."

this led to haymitch glaring at the man, shutting him up quickly from starting his rant again.

"someones gotta go get her for training", he grumped, as he checked the watch on his wrist.

basil didn't acknowledge that, he didn't care about the woman.

vanity would've but she didn't handle mean people and criticisms well, and didn't know the girl well either.

haymitch groaned, rolling his eyes and mumbling something under his breath, as he realized neither of them were going to go get her - and if she missed the first training, she would have to face many consequences.

as he opened her door to walk in, he was met with a mirror flying at his head, shattering on the wall behind him.

the woman letting out another angry remark, her vanity shattered and her hands bloody. her arms were scratched up, clawed by herself. makeup splattered on the floor, and mascara running down her face.

"jesus sweetheart," he mumbled, as he neared the woman.

"stop it! go away!" she screamed, her voice breaking and tears streaming. her arms crossed and her nails clearly breaking skin as they raked against the soft skin of her lower arm.

"well, i would love to get away from-" he waved his arm around the room, waved his arm at the woman, "whatever this is, but, not sure if you're aware, if you don't show up to the first training, they'll drag you out there anyway," his words didn't seem to convince the woman who waited for him to elaborate, " and that, is a very embarrassing thing. peacekeepers aren't gentle men."

"i dont care", she hissed as she looked at her reflection in a shard of glass she had broken, before apparently not liking what she saw, and throwing it at the wall, causing it to break into a million pieces. she picked up another shard, trying to see if the image in it was different, and it wasn't, this time - instead of throwing it against the wall, she slammed the shard into her thigh, breaking the cloth and sinking in deep.

the pain didn't seem to phase her, if anything, it just annoyed her more, causing her to remove the shard and throw the bloodied piece at the wall. her anger still apparently as she raged in the room, when her body forcibly gave out on her, and she was forced to lean over the counter, where there were even more pieces of her mirror, she slammed her face into them, repeatedly.

once haymitch recovered from the shock of what she was doing to herself, he grabbed her, pulling her arms back and restraining her, lifting her upper body up out of the shards of a broken mirror.

he repeatedly told her to "stop it" as she fought him, her blood getting everywhere.

she clawed at his chest, fighting the man who was trying to keep her from hurting herself, as he pushed her onto the bleed - her face cut up and bleeding, same as her thigh.

she kicked and she punched and she fought, trying to be let go out of the suprisingly strong alcoholics arms.

her blood and anger on her face as he pinned her down, forcing her to stop fighting.

"what the hell is wrong with you?" he growled, pushing her down.

she just cried, refusing to answer, as her blood mixed with her tears,

she kicked from under him, not really hitting anything as he was practically on top of her.

"you're gonna go into the fucking games like this?" he snarled, examining her face, seeing how she had stained the pink sheets a bright crimson red.

he didn't understand what triggered her, he couldn't tell why she got so upset and started smashing mirrors - or why she starting hurting herself.

as she calmed down, and stopped fighting him, resorting to just sobbing instead, and he figured she was ok, no longer a danger to herself anymore, as he let her go.

he mumbled out a "stupid woman" before letting her go.

"i'm not!" she told him, her voice breaking.

"what?" he questioned, looking down at her.

"stupid! i'm not stupid!", her words barely making it out over her tears.

"well you bashed your fucking face into glass.." he told her.

"so? why does my face matter? why does it matter?" she screamed at him, her anger and rage having built up over the years, "why does my face matter so much?"

she wanted to hear him say it, she wanted to hear him tell her that she was nothing except her face, nothing but pretty.

he hesitated with his words, unsure of what to say.

"your face.." he couldn't seem to be able to think of what to say, as he looked at her, he couldn't find the words. he couldn't bring himself to tell the girl that her face was what people liked about her, that her face was her whole thing, but he knew she knew. he was at a loss of what to say, he didn't know her - not personally. he knew her face, he knew nothing about her but he knew she was beautiful. "is the first thing people see, they judge you on it when they first meet you."

a mediocre response, that didn't seem like something he would say, a response that didn't help.

"and its all they see. my face. i'm nothing else to everyone, i'm just a pretty girl with a pretty body. you know that right? everyone tells me "oh youre so pretty!" but no one says anything meaningful, no one tells me that im funny or smart or nice or anything, i'm nothing if i'm not pretty" she hissed, as he realized why she was so upset.

"then why did you do that to your face?" he said, his tone lighter as he examined just how extensive the damage was - nothing much, just a few cuts on her face that were bleeding.

"because im ugly."

confusion was evident on his face, the drunk not taking this whole dilemma lightly.

"i was ugly! my nose was a little too big and my lips were a little too small and oh my god my eyeliner looked so bad, and i wasn't even wearing that much makeup but i still looked like a total cakeface! i looked disgusting!" she told him, her tears still streaming down her face. "and i was trying to fix it at first but then it just got worse and i started getting uglier."

before haymitch could reply, peacekeepers entered her room.

their guns strapped to their belts, as they stood there menacingly. needing to know why she wasn't at training, especially the first one.

haymitch was quicker to think than the crying woman was, telling them she was injured.

he showed them her thigh, still bleeding as the older one questioned why she wasn't in the infirmary, to which haymitch answered that the injury just happened in her rush to get ready, where she tripped onto her chair and fell into her vanity, shattering the mirror.

they transported the woman to the infirmary, where haymitch followed.

once they were alone, she asked, "why did you lie?"

and he told her, "if they figured it out - figured out you weren't eating, or did that to yourself -, they would put you in rehab. keep you out of training and out of contact with everyone while they forcefeed you through a tube and put you in 'therapy' with a capital therapist. they would deem you unstable and a danger to yourself, might even put you in a straitjacket.", he was a drunk but still he could think, and he thought quickly.

"the capital medicine should be able to heal you up well in less than a week, still before the games, don't do that to yourself again, cant have you go in injured," haymitch whispered, "promise me you won't do something like that again. if you're upset, come to me and please try to eat something."

im putting so much time into a fanfic thats gettling like nooo tractionnnnn

its ok tho i js need to get to the exciting part frfr