I stood straight after putting on my bikini and slowly stretched my aching back. It's been a couple of days where we had show after show, back to back. A warm dip in a hot tub is being demanded by my muscles and joints at this point. Lara came out of the hotel bathroom, eyeing me as she’s putting away something in her travel bag, “you’re not going to bed?” she asked.

“Soon, I just need to sit in the hot tub for a minute. I won’t be gone for long, I promise.” I answered as I was picking up my phone and our hotel keycard. “Alright, just don’t be loud when you come back please.” she said wearily, climbing into her bed.

“Sleep tight,” I whispered to her before switching off the lights. I clicked our hotel room shut quietly from the outside and headed to the hotel’s rooftop. The pool should be still open… It's not that late. But there was nearly no one in the hallways. After an elevator trip, I was in front of the sliding doors that open up to the pool. If I wasn't so tired, I would stand for longer to soak up the beauty of the pool decor;  palm trees with many rosemary and boxwood bushes surrounding the pool and the perimeter of the rooftop. The view of the cityscape stretched endlessly in front of me, the night sky was dark with some stars scattered around. The moon hung high, casting a soft glow on the pool and the empty lounge chairs. In fact, no one was here. I can only hear the distant sounds of traffic from underneath. I quickly look at my phone to have 1:23 am looking back at me. Yeah, Lara was right about questioning my hot tub needs at this hour… 

I followed the stone pathway that stretched in front of me, slowly leading me somewhere behind some bushes and trees. My gaze was glued to the sky, completely mesmerized by the sight that was above me. The sky seemed to be glittered with lights from the stars, the skyscrapers or the moon. When my gaze dropped back to what's in front of me, I immediately froze in my place. 

My eyes straight away darted to figure in the hot tub. It was Jay, reclined with his arms lazily draped over the edge. His head was slightly backwards, eyes closed shut. His dark hair was slightly damp and pushed back. From his posture you can see he was at ease. He slowly breathed in and out, his chest rising and falling.

My own breath caught in my throat, not expecting anyone here at this hour. Especially not him. 

Jay noticed me almost immediately. His eyes locked onto mine, mirroring my surprise. Fuck, he saw me. I opened my mouth before he could utter a word, “I’m sorry, i thought no one would be here,” i stammered out, “i will leave you alone-” i said as i was turning around.

“No, wait, y/n,” Jay spoke up, shifting his weight to the front and slightly sitting up, “please, stay.” he said. There was something in his eyes– a very silent plea I couldn't ignore. 

Shit. It's too late now, he saw me and it would be more awkward if I said no. With a tight smile on my lips, my body turned to a nearby table to set my phone and keycard. The hot tub is completely covered by the trees and bushes, no one can see from the outside and no one can see from the inside, “guess my idea of a hot tub wasn’t very original,” I said barely above a whisper, just enough for him to hear. All I heard was him quietly chuckling at my comment. My eyes were avoiding him, but I could feel his gaze on me. 

In fact, every inch of me has been avoiding him for a while. A month to be exact, ever since the tour had started. This is our first tour but not our first time working together. However, the air between us two just feels different now and it was extremely hard to ignore. On stage I can easily sing with him being two steps away from me. We would even share smiles and glances. But off stage, the space between us always felt heavier. Since everything seems fine on stage, no one questioned our awkwardness off stage, which was a blessing in disguise.

As I near the hot tub, I took a look through my lashes to see him back to his relaxed position. From where I was standing I could see an alcohol bottle with one champagne glass behind him. I looked away as I slowly dipped my feet in the warm water, instantly feeling the relief I have been needing. I sat on the opposite side of the hot tub, only leaning my head on the edge and shutting my eyes. Maybe if I ignore the fact that we’re both half naked in a hot tub– then I could relax. 

A moment or two passed before I heard his voice again, “want some?” 

I fluttered my eyes open to see him handing me his glass, filled with whatever beverage he was drinking. I looked at him, then the glass maybe twice before I extended my arm, “champagne?” I questioned as I was bringing the glass to my lips. 

He let out a breathy laugh, “good guess, it's actually Sauvignon Blanc.” he corrected me, watching me taste it. I hmmed with the drink in my mouth, smiling at his ridiculous pronunciation. “Interesting taste and interesting way to say its name.” I laughed, finally looking at his eyes. 

He smiled, “I took whatever the bartender was willing to give me,” he said, defending himself. I chuckle as I tilt the glass back to my lips for a long swing, “yeah, sure,” I mock before drinking. 

This time I felt the burn of the alcohol on my throat quite well. I guess that was visible on my face because I could hear him laugh, “Careful now, we need our vocalist to be in shape.” 

I smiled and splashed water on his face, catching him by surprise, “Oh, shit,” he exclaimed, wiping his eyes. I giggle as I turn around to set the champagne glass behind me. 

Stupid –idiotic even– move. He straight away took the opportunity that I was looking away and doubled the splashing. I yelped from the startle and the amount of water that is covering all my face and torso all of a sudden. I also tried to push some water but no comparison to what he's pushing. All you could hear was laughter and water splashing. 

The splashing eventually slowed down a little once he was closer. As I pushed my wet hair out of my face to see clearly in front of me, I felt two strong hands with calloused fingertips pulling me by the hips. My arms instinctively wrap around his shoulders. Once my vision became clearer and the water splashing stopped, I noticed how we were positioned. I was between his legs, his arms around my body, our faces inches away from each other. 

We were catching our breath for a moment, neither of us daring to move. As I was trying to stabilize my rising and falling chest, I noticed his fixed eyes on my lips. “Jay…” I finally whisper, if that. His name was barely audible. 

“Why are you avoiding me?” he whispered back, cutting off my train of thoughts. His eyes now trailed up from my lips to look in my eyes. He held my gaze before I broke it, looking at his lips and then back at his eyes. How can I explain to him that my heart races each time I hear his voice? Or how my thoughts jumble together into a ball of mush just by his presence? Or how my stomach knots itself when he smiles at me on stage?

“Answer me, love.” he whispered again, his hand lightly tracing the curve of my hips. I could smell the alcohol on both of our breaths, but I can somehow still smell his cologne. I swallowed, looking into his eyes, “you make me nervous…” I confessed, tangling my fingers in his now soaked hair. 

Our lips were so close to each other, a faint smile on his, “yeah?” I responded only by nodding, not trusting my brain to come up with something smart right now.  

“I think you're underestimating how much you affect me…” he said, his hands pulling me even closer to him. 

"Then show me," I finally spoke, my voice breathless. Without missing any more time, he closed the gap between us. I leaned into him, my hands sliding from his hair to the back of his neck, pulling him closer, my fingers threading through his damp strands. He deepened the kiss, his lips moving with a certain urgency, as if he’d been waiting for this moment longer than either of us had realized. His hands slid slowly to my thighs, back to my hips then to the small of my back. My skin felt alive under his touch. His lips tasted of the alcohol we both shared. 

We both pulled away from the kiss, but still incredibly close, trying to catch our breath from the kiss. I closed my eyes and gently rested my forehead on his, I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest. Jay’s hand remained on my waist, his thumb tracing lazy circles. “It’s getting really late…” he noted while catching his breath. I nodded, slowly pulling away from him, though his hands never left my body.

He was the first to leave the hot tub, he extended his hand towards me. I smiled at him and took his hand, pulling my body out of the water while his grip never wavered. I grabbed my phone and keycard, joined him, and felt a soft chill begin to settle on my skin. Without a word, he wrapped a towel around my shoulders. Before I could say ‘thank you”, he held the singular champagne glass in front of me. I frowned in confusion before my eyes landed on a lipstick stain on it. A laugh bubbled up in my throat, and my eyes turned to him, a sheepish smile tugging at my lips. "Sorry about that," I mumbled, my cheeks flushing slightly.