Random Stuff that's my current hyperfixation

A cure for insomnia 💤

I don't remember the last time I was quite this excited about a skin that I'm making. I have no idea if all of this will end up in the final version, but I'm just having so much fun with seeing what I can actually do that I wanted to share some work in progress shots.

(honestly? the hardest part has been finding the images. any tips on where to get medieval illuminated artwork would be much appreciated!)

In the first image, the AO3 title and the lady/dragon are separate images so on a desktop monitor the AO3 part is on the left and the dragon piece is on the right.

Akin fighting the comfort Jin offered. The way he would lean into Jin's arms -- the same embrace he was literally daydreaming about while on stage -- and then move away from it, struggle to get distance that Jin wasn't giving, and his hands scrambling to hold on and then push away... The way he wouldn't let himself take comfort until Jin asked him to listen, until he told him his apologies were unnecessary, until he told him and let him hear that Johnny lied and manipulated him.

The way he collapsed, and then finally let Jin hold him?

I swear I held my breath that whole time.

Boom Raweewit, the actor that you are, holy shit.

(No spoilers from ep9)

If you don't know what a disorganized attachment style is, it is one of the four attachment styles (Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized), often stems from childhood experiences resulting in inconsistent and unpredictable behaviours in relationships.

People with this style of attachment often find it difficult to trust people, have mixed feelings, and have negative views of others and themselves. They seek closeness and then withdraw to avoid getting hurt.

Akin, the most huggable (or sexiest) man and the winner of so many Best Actor awards comes across as cold and detached at first. But then we see how caring and considerate he is of the people around him (arranges food for the whole crew, helps a newbie with his acting, and even deals kindly with his stalker). He is emotional (the hundred times he cried) and most importantly he is a perfectionist. Even though that helps him in his acting career, he tends to bring the same in his relationship with Jin which worsens their already existing issues. Perfectionists need a certain amount of control over whatever they do and when they cannot have that, they either procrastinate the task or abandon it completely.

Akin suggests breakups whenever he feels like he's at fault because he fails to control the situation.

-> He starts freezing Jin out when he doesn't win the Sexiest Man award and feels even worse about feeling the loss. The breakdown that day was not from jealousy. No- when he couldn't maintain the perfect Actor/Celebrity status he’s expected and worked to be, he broke down. To stop projecting that bitterness onto Jin he acts cold.

-> He wants to break up when Johnny happens and he believes he was at fault. He lost control and there's nothing he can do/be to Jin to make it any better or perfect as before. During ep7 when Jin confesses his love, Akin’s instant response is, “That's why want to break up with you “. Meaning- ‘I did something wrong, I can't be perfect for you so let's end this’.

But he doesn't bring breakup during the whole stalker headache. He knows he's not completely at fault (he says the same thing in ep8) and knows there’s something they could do to control the issue.

-> He wants to break up again (not spoiling for those who didn't watch ep9, but you're going to see a lot of Akin’s need for control there). He's losing control, he cannot ensure the perfect love life for Jin if things continue this way.

But what does Jin want?

Jin only wants Akin. He wants to be there, good or bad. He doesn't care for awards or titles. He’d praise his boyfriend openly, even when he's the winner, consequences and ego be damned, and wants to share every happiness with him.

-> He throws himself out of the car immediately when Akin storms out in distress in ep5. He doesn't hesitate a second to run behind his man, lets Akin cry and gather his thoughts by himself and then kisses him to apologize for not understanding him.

-> Even though he leaves Akin alone in the parking lot after the Johnny thing, he goes to watch Akin’s play, when he himself said he wouldn't chase Akin anymore. He's not ready to abandon their relationship and goes to investigate the truth of it. Again there's no hesitancy in Jin to apologize for leaving Akin alone and not be with him that day.

Now Jin is not perfect, none of us are, but he is perfect for Akin’s disorganized attachment style.

Often people with this type of attachment are the first to initiate breakup as a means to control the situation. But do they really want a breakup in the first place? No. Underneath all the pain, and fear of abandonment they need someone to fight for them and be with them even when they are not perfect.

“If you get out of the car now, I won't chase after you anymore” is a heck of a sentence. It's a lot of guilt and hurt and confusion to put out there, and to put on Akin.

Jin's asking Akin to stay and fight, to convince him that nothing happened with Johnny, to show a sign that he wants this, too. But he won't offer a kindness back, he won't reach out gently like he always has, and that's what Akin needs now, so he gets out of the car.

Jin says "Don't leave, or I won't chase you", but Akin hears "I'm done trying", and then Jin drives away and proves Akin's interpretation correct.

Jin has been a calm port in the storm for Akin, and now he's too caught up in his own anger that he isn't seeing what's right in front of him -- Akin's pain and confusion, and Johnny's almost confession that he took advantage -- so now they're both adrift.

Jin thinks that everyone who knows Akin must feel the same desperate want for him. Sees the soft boundary Akin has set as a potential rejection in the face of this other successful actor and sets Johnny as a rival instead of a predator.

Akin sees Jin pull away with cruel words, and sees fault, because he still doesn't know that he didn't sleep with Johnny, so Jin's pulling away and his anger and his accusations are still Akin's fault.

Akin fighting the comfort Jin offered. The way he would lean into Jin's arms -- the same embrace he was literally daydreaming about while on stage -- and then move away from it, struggle to get distance that Jin wasn't giving, and his hands scrambling to hold on and then push away... The way he wouldn't let himself take comfort until Jin asked him to listen, until he told him his apologies were unnecessary, until he told him and let him hear that Johnny lied and manipulated him.

The way he collapsed, and then finally let Jin hold him?

I swear I held my breath that whole time.

Boom Raweewit, the actor that you are, holy shit.

Can Akin not suffer for like one episode???? It's definitely good stuff and the actors are so fucking good but god I could use a break! It's so emotionally draining week after week that I have to pause between episodes.

That cat and dog background 🥺🥺🥺 my baby.

I am still not sure whether the name is Jun or Jin, they keep batting it here and there.

I am also very annoyed that Akin keeps trying to break up every time. I know he's trying to protect Jun but like baby no don't... Why won't you trust that you both can make it together?

The way it has happened so many times Jin immediately clocks the lie but it still hurts so fucking much.

The coldness of not just the blue but the movements, the way they remove their clothes. Movements are so harsh from Jun and he keeps his eyes on Akin the entire time.

But it really doesn't stay long enough because there's so much love in there... Even when Jin is being rough it's just so much omg...

I can't with the crying during sex.

There's no way Jin didn't hear that....didn't notice that.

I hate everything actually fuck off!!!!!

Oh he has that conversation in the same room... Baby wants to be caught so bad....

Wait no not the necklace... 😭😭😭😭

Okay so calling both names is on purpose.

My baby 🥺🥺🥺🥺 Jin 😭😭😭😭

What's up with Judy's hair?

Akin is not doing well.....

He's baby so it's okay.

Glasses about to beat Akin's ass as he should really.

Hey hey hey what mow.!!!! Glasses stop!!!!!

Akin.....

Yknow I am kind of feeling this too.

You are not done Akin.... No you aren't.

THE FUCK YOU WANT JOHNNY??!!!

Finger flicks aren't enough I need Akin to punch him in the face.

Oh that cold walk through, oh god that was so cold!!! It hurt my soul even.

Who is the little girl?

Oh managers family.

This moment is nice... Akin interested in wedding rings? Bet you miss your locket. Bet you wish you didn't leave that behind.

Not the kiss...

Oh 😳 he still has his locket on 🥺🥺🥺 Jinnn 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh that elevator scene is driving me crazy.

What is the deal between Jin and Judy. I know there's some understanding but what is it. I don't buy the thing that they are dating.

Champ beat his ass!!! Please beat his ass!!! How dare he try to risk himself like this?!

OMG OMG OMG OMG FOMGOMGKFKSKSKFKSMAKSNDJFJFKSKAKZKVNDJjf

Why am I surprised even of course he did this....

There's we go... See smart move.

Thank you!!!!!

Here come the tears. I don't mind his happy tears at all.

Judy girlbossing let's goooo queen!!!!

HE BOUGHT A RING?????

I wonder if Judy will get a nice side pairing too? I hope she does.

That's the worst measurement of ring sizes method I have seen.

Let's be honest, I'd be the PRIME TARGET for this kind of ship.

Two great actors, involved in two popular bromance shows in three years. One of them a censored wuxia adaptation from a bestselling danmei novel:

And another a procedural cop show with obvious female leads, but the chemistry between the Captain and his anti-hero James is So. Damn. Fine. people got ghost ship syndrome almost IMMEDIATELY:

Fueling the delulu is the fact that Jin often talks about Akin in his interviews.

Anti-fan would say: of course! Everyone keeps asking about it so Jin is forced to speak about it. Doesn't mean there's... etc. etc. Another non-delulu fan would say: Well, they're good friends, of course Jin would talk about his friend. But that doesn't mean they're... etc. etc.

Then one eagle-eyed fan would point out that they're wearing matching jewelry (someone WOULD. You know how deep fandom culture goes). But someone else would point out that JUDY is also wearing matching jewelry with Jin:

And then they said this in an interview:

Anti-fan: So NO, JinAkin stans, y'all are just being crazier than usual. Gosh I hate this fandom!

JinJudy fan: OMG #JinJudy confirmed!!! They're just trying to maintain their privacy because the JinAkin fandom is wild.

Akin fan (and Jin anti-fan): Nooo Akin shouldn't be shipped with Jin at all. Jin's so freakin' straight he's homophobic. Look at him flirty with Judy!

Speaking of homophobia rumors, once Akin was implicated in a photo scandal, Jin's company Sigma immediately distanced their actor from Akin:

Which probably sent the fandom into A FULL MELTDOWN:

Trends on X:

#JinSoHomophobic

#JinAkinbreakup

#ProtectJin

#WeStandByAkin

#ShameonJin

#ShameonAkin

#JinAkinfake

(Meanwhile I'm in this scenario mass tweeting and sobbing my eyes out)

But suddenly all's good. Jin addressed the Akin situation in an interview. They seem to be good friends again.

Jin supports Akin's stage play? FRIENDS.

Jin is there at Akin's grandma's funeral? FRIENDS.

They work on other projects, Akin is seen helping Jin out behind the scenes? FRIENDS.

They're Very

Very

Good Friends.

Imagine the forums. The fan groups. The speculations. The X frenzy. The meetups. THE MERCH 😅

(This is just me projecting that I hope to be right FOR ONCE dear God, DaouOffroad fandom please pull through for me)

P.S. THIS is not to be confused with SmartBoom's fandom, of course. At the moment I'm not under any delusion that those two are dating. Great friends, and they obviously respect each other a lot, but not dating (I'd be DELIGHTED to be proven wrong, though. Smart, Boom, wanna prove me wrong? DO IT *laughs in delulu* 😆)