Lover of Slow Burns & Angst

But now, he spent them recuperating in the arms of his woman, of someone who loved him more than he deserved. Loved more than what he accomplished or how many movies had his name at the top of the end credits. Someone who loved him in equal measure to his love for her. 

Someone who consumed his very being in all the best ways. And as he quietly jogged upstairs to his master suite, all he could dream of was rest and her. 

Every day, he raced home to her. And that felt like a privilege. 

Michael’s career and pace had always been marked by restlessness, a constant desire to be challenged or pushed. Eyes always ahead, feet constantly in motion. But these days, peace settled into his bones more than restlessness. Like there was not as much worth chasing but something worth slowing down for. 

And that made his feet move just a tad faster toward her. 

He caught her name on the tip of his tongue, an attempt to preserve her rest. He found another night owl in Raven, typically. However, lately, he was lucky if she survived past 10 p.m. He missed their lazy late nights. Whether he watched anime while she cuddled into his side reading or he workshopped a new script while she wrote. 

It was a quiet stillness, a blessed routine, they had discovered for themselves. Sacred bonding time. 

But his fierce protective side was grateful for Raven to get any additional amount of rest she could. He was starting to lose sleep watching her toss and turn, his worry skyrocketing into a new stratosphere while she shifted between their bathroom and bed in a vicious cycle. 

He prayed for her relentless optimism so he could apply it to this situation and see the improvement Raven claimed she did. But all he saw were symptoms that lingered without cause, that every reasonable explanation she offered suggested should’ve ended weeks ago. And the longer she allowed this to wreck her body without intervention, the greater that stitch in his heart pinched at him. 

If he did not know how stubborn his girl was before? It seemed God was about to show him what “dying on a hill” meant to Raven Turner. And while she may have evaded his attempts to drag her to the doctor for now, his campaign was far from over. 

He just needed a new strategy. And fast. With their flight and trip inching closer and closer, he did not know if she would even be up for the trip to the surprise he planned. But more important than this surprise with an admittedly heafty price tag, he just wanted her to be okay. And this was not. 

He crept in quietly but his attempts to preserve her rest proved not to matter. The moment he crossed the threshold of his master suite, he felt it. That chill. Driven not by the thermostat, but by an emptiness. The still air that signaled no warm body had occupied a space in some time. 

The flicker of his light confirmed those suspicions. Raven was nowhere to be found. In fact, the room appeared untouched, exactly as he left it this morning. As if she had not been home at all. 

But that can’t be right. She’s around here somewhere.

His mind was already two steps ahead as his feet carried him to their shared office, his instincts recognizing it as the next logical option. If she had been feeling up to writing, he knew baby girl could zone out for hours. 

However, he found that space as dark and still as his room. And while Michael’s home was not hurting in square footage, it was certainly not big enough to lose a person in. Especially when that particular person still did not feel comfortable venturing outside the same four rooms without a reason.  

“Rae?” His voice carried as he descended down to the main floor to check the basement, the only other spot she spent any significant time. 

He had found her curled into the sectional down there more than once this week. But every space he knew she would venture was completely empty. 

Despite knowing the time exactly, he found himself checking his watch as if it would communicate something different. 

10:53 p.m.

Perhaps foolish but Michael realized, given the hour, he had not considered this possibility. While she stayed up late, she was not outside. In fact, she was always decidedly inside as long as Michael had known her. At her apartment or his home, unless it was an event for him, Raven was in cozy pjs and fluffy socks by 10 p.m. Promptly. 

He knew she could stay out on a whim without warning or explanation, and yet, his early warning system still blared. 

Because it was not something she did. 

And that made him slip his phone from his pocket, his feet carrying him in sharp turns up and down the length of his dining room table as he refreshed the location app on his phone. Again. And again. And again. 

However, even after every increasingly frustrated swipe, the last location it offered was from a bit after 8 p.m. at her apartment. 

He called. No answer. 

Four times. 

Straight to voicemail. Every time. 

“The fuck?” 

“Oh hey baby,” his mom and dad came down the stairs as Michael tried to stop the panic threatening to overtake him. It was at his gates like a riot, beating down his doors and his shield of logical sense was fading fast. Raven’s phone was never off. She rarely let it die. 

“Everything okay?” 

“No. No. O-Or I don’t know. Rae’s not here. But she should be. Said she’d be out for a few hours then was coming home but haven't heard from her all day n she’s not pickin’ up the phone. It says she was last at her apartment but-” He paused when - even in explaining the story - he could not stop himself from hitting the call button once more and frustratingly heard her voicemail message.

“Hey, baby girl. Just give me a call back when you see this, let me know you’re aight. Love you.” 

“She probably just fell asleep. Take a deep breath, son. Sure she’s alright.” 

Michael’s fingers rubbed his eyes for a second as he tried to square that in his head, forcing his racing heart to stop roaring in his ears so he could think. Gain some perspective. Raven was not reckless, quite the opposite. And sometimes, the easiest answer was the right one. 

Calm down. 

“Nah, nah, you’re right… you’re right, pops. She just… she’d usually let me know if she was gonna crash there instead? So I don’t worry. Maybe I’ll just run out there and make sure?” 

So much for that. 

But it was an action. Something to do that felt useful. 

He started to move toward his keys when he remembered he had one option before he dived into the deep end of panic. 

Michael couldn’t stop his feet from moving if he wanted to as the phone rang in his ear. He silently begged for Tiffany to do the thing their generation hated the most: answer an unsaved number. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey Tiffany. It’s Michael. Sorry to bother so late but is Rae there? Haven’t heard from her but hopin’ she fell asleep n her phone died or some shit,” he asked that in one breath. 

Additional exposition was only more time without answers. And he could not afford that. 

“Oh hi! Sorry, didn’t recognize the number. She's not. Sorry! She left a while ago when I got home from work.” 

“What time?” 

“Maybe around 9? 9:15? We chatted for a few but she said it was a long drive back to your spot so she left. Maybe she stopped somewhere along the way? I’m sure she’s fine but sorry I don’t know more. She didn’t mention going anywhere.”  

Michael’s heart immediately twisted into a knot, sharp. Tight. Fear crept up his skin because this call didn’t alleviate any concerns as he hoped. Now, he had to contend with the very real possibility that something was wrong. His home was a drive but not a 2 hour one. 

“Fuck. Aight. No worries. If you hear from her or she comes back there, let me know?” 

“Definitely. Keep me posted.” 

He just let the phone fall from his ear as he raced to get his car keys. 

“Where are you goin’?” 

“To find her!” 

His answer and tone communicated finality. Clarity. There was no further discussion needed in his view. But he found his father rooted in his path. 

“Where? Where would you even start, son? You can’t just drive aimlessly around LA without a plan. Just give her till midnight. See if she calls you back. But you won’t be of any help to her if you work yourself up.” 

The words were reasonable and he was desperate for his brain to latch onto them. Trust them. But instead, he could only focus on the worst. He could only think of every plotline of Criminal Minds and Law & Order he’d ever seen or every wreck he’d passed through the hills. Of possibilities that tightened that stitch in his chest that stole his ability to breathe, that made anything other than action feel like objective failure.

But he knew he was right. If she was not at her apartment and offered no one any indication of where she was headed besides here, he had no place to start. Which rendered him the one thing Michael B. Jordan rarely was. 

Useless. 

That was simply not a trait one possessed when you were wealthy. When you hold even a fraction of power and privilege. Because he found most of life’s problems could be solved with some combination of charisma, a phone call, and cash. For himself, for Raven, or anyone else he loved. But neither of those three things would make Raven materialize safe in their bed. Much to his chagrin. 

His hand rubbed his beard as he paced and nodded, though he was not happy about it. He forced himself to replay every interaction and conversation from the last 48 hours. A random place she mentioned, a flyby errand she needed to run at some point. Literally anything. As soon as he could determine even the faintest starting place, he was getting in the car. 

“She say anythin’ after I left this morning, mama?” 

If Michael had not been so deeply in his own head, he would have noticed the look flash across her eyes. Eyes that held concern and far more knowing than they should’ve. A look that would’ve told him to home in on her for the answers he sought. 

Raven had been on her mind all day, Donna understanding that her suggestion threw Raven farther off kilter than she wanted to reveal. Most mothers would tell their sons immediately. And some part of her wanted to. Simply so he would not worry and perhaps so he could give her the space she clearly needed. But she also knew Raven must not have told him yet for a reason. A reason that was not her business. This was a rare and early opportunity to reinforce the trust she was building with her new daughter. And she wanted Raven to see herself as one of her children. 

Which meant she could not overstep. Not on this.

But she also knew if she offered nothing, she’d be up the rest of the night worried about Raven and him while he searched every nook and cranny of LA to find her. 

“No, not really. She got sick a few minutes after you left though, said she was going to get some rest.” She paused before offering, “You know, she might just have needed some space? It’s been a lot of changes since you two met and she’s so worried about burdening you. Maybe she just needed a breather and lost track of time?” 

It was not unlike Raven to retreat when she was overwhelmed. And yet…  

“Yea… that could be it. She stopped for a drink, blow off some steam. Just wish she’d come to me n talk to me instead of runnin’.” 

“I know but you’ve gotta give her time, Bakari.” 

Despite her being correct, he still grumbled under his breath about how he hated time, he didn’t need to give her time. 

One hour. That was all the time his patience could muster and it would be the ultimate stretch. He’d be lucky if he made it 20 more minutes with this feeling beating against his chest. It was a thundering drumbeat that screamed action. To do something. To protect her. Care for her. Save her. 

And he was just sitting here. Useless.

Every so often, he checked her location, refreshing it to no avail before closing it again. That cycle repeated every five minutes. By 11:30, he did not open the app expecting the situation to change, it was just something to do to ease the rising tide. 

But it seemed God answered his prayers, albeit 30 minutes later than he would’ve preferred. Her picture finally showed up on his screen. 

The sigh of relief he started to let out was cut short as he took in her location, 15 miles from his home. At what appeared to be a gas station. Not on the path from her apartment to his home. Not on a road to anywhere he knew of. 

And now, he was both concerned and utterly perplexed. When was her car ever on E? He filled it every week. And now, he was not sure he could even trust that this was her. Had she lost her phone? Her car? Someone stole it? 

His questions crescendoed. But something loosened at knowing her phone was turned on again or charging. Loosened with every ring. Until it went to voicemail. 

His fingers were zeroed in on the redial button when a text from her came in. 

Princess: Be there in 20. 

“She’s on her way back.” His voice tight, his concern immediately morphing into something that burned on the way down. That sat searing and uncomfortable in his chest. 

His call? Still unanswered. Her text? Void of an explanation or even a modicum of remorse for making him worry. There was no way she did not see his missed calls? Hear or read his panic in every voicemail and text?

He was still worried. His early warning system blared that there had to be an explanation. A reason for Raven doing something so out of character. But there was an undercurrent he did not expect. 

Something powerful. Something he never particularly felt toward Raven before.  

Anger. 

***

Raven’s head gently fell against the black leather seats of her car, her eyes rubbed red and still burning. She clenched her eyes shut at the renewed pounding growing in her head, the bright flood lights of the gas station not doing her any favors. Now caused, not by her tears, but the man she just sent to voicemail. 

It was cowardly to avoid him. She knew that. But she simply had nothing acceptable to offer. No reason for her absence for an entire day and most of the night. For 11 missed calls. 

Because she could not offer the truth. 

“I spent the day staring at six unopened pregnancy tests and accidentally got lost in an attempt to avoid coming home to tell you I’m pregnant.” 

Well, she could. And she should. But she wasn’t going to. . Because the ramifications of that felt catastrophic, as if she was asking for her world to be demolished. And how could she open her city’s gates to that destruction when she did not even have the courage to take the tests? 

A coward, indeed.

She intended to. When she bought every brand the pharmacy near her apartment had in stock. When she downed an entire Stanley to speed the process along. 

She was not sure if it was fair. Not to include him. But she knew she needed a moment to process this life-changing news before she was faced with someone else’s expectations. 

But when approached with her moment of truth? Raven slammed the door shut on it every time. She couldn’t take them. And the longer she ruminated on the task? The taller that order became. And then it just felt impossible.  

And she could not lean on the one person who could give her courage to confront anything. Not about this.  

The worst part was that she did not even need the tests. Not truly. The longer she sat with it and picked apart the last few weeks? The more it seemed like the only thing that could be wrong. It tugged and stretched her intuition to new limits, demanding she answer. Listen. 

But Raven did not want to listen to that deep knowing this time. Because the moment she took those tests? Speculation became reality she would not be able to ignore or hide. 

That made them the most terrifying objects on this planet. They had to remain unopened, abandoned on her bathroom sink. In her old life where all her bad decisions were left. Out of sight and out of her mind. 

She needed time. 

To prolong the moment this changed her life, their lives. To prolong the moment Michael Bakari Jordan found out about this. Even if just for a few days. 

But that meant she could not let him get too close to her. To the hurting and vulnerable parts of her he loved to flood with light and devotion. He would push. He always pushed. And she was cardboard against his tidal wave when he did. 

Raven tried to stop it. Stop the muscles in her brain from falling into old patterns. From weaving a web of insecurities and pessimism about their future, their love. That was not her anymore, she first declared when she left her apartment. But as she let muscle memory guide her back to his home, she realized old habits died hard and slow for a reason. 

And before she knew it, that web was too thick for even its architect to see through it. 

Motherhood in and of itself was a landmine. One Raven expected to have years to defuse, not 9 months. 

Her own childhood was always a reason to delay it or, at a minimum, ensure she thoroughly considered it and the consequences. She would not wish her life on anyone. And her mother’s fate was no anomaly. It was far too common in fact. She refused to continue a cycle of grief and neglect.

And when she thought of the risks? Of dying? Raven questioned whether she had her mother’s strength and fortitude to face that head on. 

It was easier when she never considered herself mother material. Easier to consider the dream of a family of her own unattainable and out of reach. Her life before Michael? It was unsuitable for a child. Any other version of her would’ve already made an appointment at a clinic, already considered this mishap taken care of for her, the man, and the child’s sake. 

Until Michael. He cracked the iron box she kept those desires in open, making what would’ve once been an easy choice, an impossible one. He created the space to acknowledge she wanted it, wanted to create a family like she never had. Like she knew he wanted. 

Yea eventually… not after dating for a couple months. He’s just gonna feel trapped. Forced to stay and show up while you destroy his life… again.

She tried to break apart the web. She tried to tear it apart thread by thread by stopping those thoughts from settling in as she drove. But instead of heading home, her direction became aimless. As if her brain knew to put ] distance between her and the man she loved.

Michael wanted to be with her. He wanted a family. Perhaps he would be happy about this? It was not as if she could continue to deny his love of her. She knew that much to be true, if nothing else. 

I’ll always choose you. 

You can still be a burden. You always have been. That voice nagged at her heels, relentless. Who wouldn’t get tired of someone like that? 

Every wall Raven threw up, it knew the weak spot to plow through it. Every thread of the web Raven found to unravel, it respun with shocking clarity. That voice was an expert. An expert at weakening Raven’s resolve bit by bit until all she felt was her undeservedness. Before she was trapped in her own web of doubt and insecurities. 

And every single one about their relationship seemed to only grow in an instant. 

What if he isn’t excited? Would he leave? Raven would not blame him. Another scandal, another problem to solve. All she brought were burdens. And that was all she’d be to him now. The person that forced him to settle.

If he did leave, where did that leave Raven when everything in her life was caught up in him? She had no job. Her lifeline to future financial security was based on his connection. She learned once before that agents and publishers didn’t need a reason to end relationships, what if this one disappeared too? She’d never get another. 

Her rent, not that it mattered when he practically let her move into his place. Her car, hell Raven did not know the first thing about this car. She realized tonight this was her first time even putting gas in it herself. 

He took need after need off her plate and integrated her into his life with such skill and ease, Raven questioned whether she could even untangle them without falling flat on her face. 

Raven had never not been dependent on anyone until now. She knew Michael did not aim to control, but to ease. But she also could not be his charity case any longer, his ‘Cinderella.’ Because charity always ended. And when Michael decided he was done and no longer wanted her? Raven had no interest in falling flat on her face as a result. Especially not when a future baby thespian depended on her. 

She did not want to believe that would ever be him. But she also did not know if she could ever fully trust that. Her life was marked with disappointments. She did not want to give him an opportunity too. The only truth Raven knew was that she could rely on herself. She could trust herself to survive. And that was all she could trust. Like before. Like always. 

This was not any different, no matter how much she wanted it to be so. 

She just wished she had more time. For them to settle into this new normal. For all her insecurities to die because the novelty wore off and they were bickering about how to load the dishwasher or his snoring. There would be distance between who they were and what they were becoming. Raven would be a published author again and feel like his equal. 

And this wouldn’t feel like yet another thing she did wrong. Out of order, trapping him. Another way she ruined her life when things were finally going well. 

Shame coiled in her belly, something red hot and searing.  

She had no idea what to do. She couldn’t tell him. She, herself, couldn’t even confront this. So she had one option. 

Push. 

Push it and him away. It would only afford her a few more days but if she could delay when this storm made landfall? She would take even a few more hours. Whether by a growing belly or Michael tossing her over his shoulder to drag her to the doctor, she knew this could not be avoided forever. But she could delay her own damnation for a while. 

Foolish, she knew. But this was the first thing in her life she was terrified to confront. So she needed a few more days of Michael as she knew him. Of their love as she knew it. Before everything changed. 

Because regardless of how he felt, this would alter both of their lives. Forever. And Raven did not know how much more change her soul could process. She just started to settle into it, feel some semblance of peace. And here life went, yet again, knocking her legs from under her. 

The gas light in her car woke her from her mindless driving and spiral, forcing her to stop avoiding her life. The moment her GPS turned on? He would demand answers. And she just… didn’t have good ones to give. 

And no amount of creativity, with a brain this exhausted and strain, could help her craft a story that would pass muster with him either. 

And that was also the problem. 

He knew her too well. She was usually at home and tucked in bed by this time of night. He was supposed to be out late but perhaps it was foolish to believe he wouldn’t have questioned or been concerned about her absence when he got home. 

“Another banner decision for Raven Turner,” she grumbled to herself as she pulled her seatbelt back on after filling her tank. 

She let out a deep sigh before pulling back on the road, just as her ringtone erupted in the car. She ignored him once while pumping her gas. She couldn’t do it again. 

“Hello?” 

“Rae! Fuck. You’re okay, baby?? What happened?”

She could feel his frenzy as if he handed it to her. Rapid pacing against hardwood panels. Tense back muscles, his palm wearing a hole in the side of his beard.  And something she hoped would be her saving grace. Something she was not accustomed to him directing at her. But something she could certainly use. 

The smoking edges of “what happened?” Like smoke and steam to signal an eruption. The smallest sign of boiling ire.  Buried deep beneath dense layers of concern and worry so sincere, he perhaps didn’t even notice it himself. 

But Raven latched on to it. She needed that volcano to erupt. So she wouldn’t crumble. If, for once in their relationship, he lost his cool. But that meant she had to push. And with a man with endless patience? That required a lot.

“Nothing. I’m good, baby. Sorry, I… lost track of time. I texted. Be there in 20.”  

Silence. 

“Where were you?” 

“Nowhere. Just needed some time alone. Been driving around.” 

“Driving around?” Raven leaned into the black driver’s door. She could picture his face. Scrunched up and bewildered. “In the middle of the night? With your phone off? You didn’t want to tell anyone? Been worried sick, Rae.” 

“I didn’t mean to make you worry. I didn’t realize I needed to give you a play-by-play of my day?” she mumbled, just loud enough to ensure he heard her before returning to normal volume. “Weren’t you supposed to be going to a lounge with that reporter for an interview?” 

A yell in the quiet of a library, the shattering of a glass against the hardwood of a restaurant floor. Nails against a chalkboard. 

Jarring. 

Piercing. 

A lackluster deflection from a notorious overexplainer. 

But still, she could tell he forced himself to lead with patience. And that he did not have much left. 

“He had to cancel. Family emergency. So I worked a while longer at the office then came home. I couldn’t find you. Ma said you got sick again. Was worried you were hurt.” 

Fuck. Did she tell him??

She took a beat before ruling it out. He would have led with that if he knew, which meant her secret was still safe. But she wondered for how long when his mother realized she did not tell him. 

“Y-Yea I think your cologne-” she chuckled. “You know I love it, baby. But I guess my stomach is still sensitive? I’m feeling better though. I was driving back from my apartment and it just seemed like such a nice night. You were supposed to be out late so thought I’d take the alone time. I just stopped for gas cause I drove a bit further than I meant to but I’m on the way back.”

“You stopped and got gas in the middle of the night?” 

“Would you rather I run out of gas in the middle of these confusing ass Hills you live in?” 

Still. 

“I'd rather you be home, not drivin’ aimlessly in the dark from what I can tell for hours. I’d rather you keep your phone on. I’d rather you not run your car down to E so you have to stop n get gas at midnight just to make it home. I’d rather you tell me what’s wrong instead of doin’ insanely unsafe shit like this.” 

“Nothing’s wrong.” Quick. Too quick. “You know I had a whole life before you? Where I pumped my own gas at all hours, drove around, stayed out late. I didn’t realize being in a relationship meant I had to clear my schedule with you.” 

“Rae…” his voice dropped low, void of patience. “You’re already on thin ice right now. I’d watch that mouth if you wanna be able to sit down tomorrow. You can do whatever you want. This?? Stayin’ out late, cuttin’ your phone off, testin’ out your terrible directional skills in the dark? It’s shit you can do but not shit you do. N you think I’m what? Some oblivious nigga that’s not gon’ ask questions? So somethin’ is wrong. Tell me.”

She hated how well he saw her. She did not want him to see her. 

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just having a bad day, Michael. I think I’ve earned one here or there.”

“You have. But you were fine this morning so I’m trying to understand what changed? This really ain’t like you, baby. N I’m tryin’ to give you some grace but it’s runnin’ out if you aren’t honest about what’s wrong.” 

“So now I’m a liar? What’s the point of asking if you’re not going to believe me?” 

“Is it whatever’s been botherin’ you?” She could hear him trying to force himself to exhaust every option before he lost his temper. “If it’s getting worse, you can tel-” 

“Oh my god! Stop!” She called out, unable to listen to him. He was pressing too closely and she was too fragile right now. She could not ruin everything tonight.

We need more time. 

“Stop. I’m fine. You can’t fix everything and I don’t want you to. Sometimes, I’m just feeling shitty and need space and… Not everything in my life is a crisis for you to play the hero with.” 

Before she could stop herself, Raven gave into the devil on her shoulder. The voice that told her to do something she’d never even considered before, made all the more egregious because she knew it was his biggest pet peeve. 

“I apologized. I’m done talking. I’ll see you when I get home.” 

“Rave-” 

She did not let him finish before she hung up. The logical portion of her brain regretted it immediately. The moment her thumb reached the point of no return in clicking the red end button. She could see his stunned and enraged face. But she would not scramble to call him back or correct it. 

Because she needed him to push her in a totally different way. One that helped her forget the mountain barrelling down on her. She needed something only a particular beast in him could provide. A beast who did not care about dissecting her behavior for a root problem he could fix. A beast whose only goal was correcting disrespect. 

And he would. He decided swiftly. Raven was still a few miles away as he stared down at his phone in disbelief. 

That beast had 20 minutes to stew. To fester and grow inside Michael. She knew that was his biggest pet peeve. He sat with it, letting all that anger build until one purpose consumed his every thought. 

Fucking the disrespect right out of every bone in her body. 

“A bad day, huh?” He muttered to himself before nodding. “Bout to get a lot worse.”

***

Raven noticed the quiet first. It stuck to her bones, making her want to retreat from the space rather than further into it. No aggrieved boyfriend pacing angrily against hardwood by the door, no crack of thunder from an immediate argument. No anything. 

Just quiet and her own mounting tension as soon as she stepped in from Michael’s garage. That should have been her first warning. But she knew whatever awaited, she earned it. It would be just, fair. Bruising and punishing. Mind-numbing. She had asked for it. Demanded it with every sharp word. And she would take it.

She slid her shoes off in their spot by the door before taking a deep breath and heading upstairs. She made little noise as she climbed the stairs. One soft creak on the step, a soft huff of breath at the first landing. A gentle sway of her bag against her hip as she rounded the corner toward his bedroom. 

His door was partially open, their private sanctuary bathed in darkness. She started to search for him, knowing he waited somewhere for her. That her transgression would not go unpunished. 

But his voice caught her first. 

“Strip.” 

Raven blinked. Time stood still. Stretching as she felt the desire pool between her legs. She turned to find him in his favorite arm chair, in the corner of his bedroom. 

Fuck. 

No conversation. Not a word? He was pissed. 

Rightfully so, but perhaps she underestimated just how many buttons that would press. 

“M-Michael, I w-was just frustrated. You weren’t lis-” 

“You told me you were done talkin’. So shut up.” 

Her jaw clamped shut. 

“Strip.” Deadly. 

Fuck. 

Trembling fingers grasped at the helm of her cotton t-shirt, yanking it quickly over her head. She could see it in his eyes. His rage as if it danced as flames in a burning room. And she trapped herself right in the middle of it. But it never burned quite as hot as this. 

She never pushed him this far before. And that meant he would do the same. 

She hooked her fingers into her thong, removing his remaining obstacle. 

She did not cower before him, standing tall as she presented herself as an offering, penance for her disrespect. 

For Michael, tonight was not about savoring. Everything from this moment forward would be a lesson. A reminder. One his anger was too hot to draw out too long. Swift and severe were the only settings he knew tonight. 

He towered over her for a moment, long enough to feel how her body vibrated with anticipation when he closed the space between them. 

His fingers gripped her chin tightly, pulling her in for a bruising kiss. It offered none of his gentleness. No, this was hurried, as if he wanted to erase her thoughts with a kiss. He consumed her with every rough bite and suck of her bottom lip. A sign of what the night would be.

“Got a lot of fuckin’ nerve, baby girl. Gon’ enjoy fuckin’ all that outta you tho.” 

A chill raced down her spine. The look in his eye foretold just how much he would enjoy it: dark and menacing. Dangerous. 

“Get on your knees. Put that smart ass mouth to work.” 

She sank down to her knees with ease, the mess between her thighs only growing as she stared up at him. A God among men, stacked and built to make her mouth water. He freed himself as he lowered his pants and boxers, his beautiful, thick member already standing at attention. He was beautiful, a statue of power and control. Of authority and dominance. All that? It was hers. He was hers. 

And she did not deserve it. Did not deserve him. And thankfully for Raven, at this moment? Deservedness did not matter. It never mattered here. All that mattered was her body and what he wanted to do with her. How he wanted to make her scream and sing for him. And that was all she needed. Not to think. For her body to be made to do anything but. 

She shivered. From the undercurrent of lust and need. From the fear. From the cold wood panels beneath her knees and the cold air that rolled over her naked skin as she waited. 

She parted her lips as she stared up at him, her tongue desperate for that first taste of him. But tonight was not for her so he could not even let her savor that, no matter how much he knew she loved it.

Her head jerked back as he wrapped her hair around his hands into two fists, parting her soft lips with the head of his dick.Her eyes fell closed as he pushed in, immediately feeling the weight of him on her tongue. Tasted the taste of him forming at the tip. There was nothing she loved more than the feel of him in her mouth. 

Filling her, stretching her. 

Every ridge, every vein she knew by heart. That sensitive spot just beneath his head that made his eyes roll back into his head when she licked it, how he lost control when she choked or gagged in order to take him deeper down her throat.Her core pulsed at the chance to worship him, showcase her contrition. 

But that was not tonight. Tonight was crafted to showcase his power, his control. Which meant, even this could not be for their mutual benefit. It would only be for him. 

And he reminded her swiftly of that reality with a punishing thrust deep into her warm and inviting throat. 

Raven immediately gagged, spit spilling out the corners of her mouth as she struggled to accommodate him. She typically had to work her way up to this but he did not care in the slightest. 

Instead, he ensured she felt every inch of him with every fast snap of his hips as he fucked her throat like it was any convenient hole. Every ounce of his power was on display in his relentless grip around her curls. 

“Think I like you better this way. Less fuckin’ attitude when you’re chokin’ on it.” 

Something in her tightened at his words. She loved the balance he struck of degradation and praise. But angry Michael? Apparently, his tone transitioned to something more, something… mean. And Raven liked that a bit more than she expected as her pussy clenched, desperate for him to fill it. 

A particularly rough thrust caused Raven to gag hard around him, her hands immediately pushing at the thick muscles of his quads to slow him down and catch her breath. 

“Move your hands.” 

Her whimpers of protest were muffled before the look in his eye forced her to relent. She did not need to push her luck any further. 

“You’re takin’ whatever I’m givin’ tonight, princess. That’s the rule. No breaks. No tappin’ out. Gon’ see where all that mouth gets you.” 

Even in his anger, Michael still found himself getting lost in her. Still wanting nothing more than to fall to his knees and feast at the fountain between her legs. Because how she looked right now? She was nothing short of a goddess at his feet, an ethereal beauty, the perfect picture of submission. Tears streaked through her makeup. Her mouth stretched obscenely to accommodate his thickness. Saliva lewdly dripped down her chin onto her naked boobs as they heaved with her struggling breaths. Her eyes round with need and longing, wet from her tears. Her attitude and disrespect reduced to gags and moans as she struggled to accept his pace. 

She was already a complete and utter mess. All for him. All her vibrato gone the moment she stepped into his domain, their sanctuary. But it still wasn’t enough. And it wouldn’t be until she was begging for his mercy, until he emptied every ounce of his frustration into her. 

Fuckin’ gorgeous. 

“You look so beautiful chokin’ on my dick, princess.” 

His praise, low and hypnotic, kept Raven exactly where she was despite desperately wanting to breathe. Instead, she let him decide when she could do that. Because even in her anger, she could still hear it. His gentleness. A reminder that his love was still present, even in this lesson.  She could feel when his relentless push and pull would slow just enough to sneak in a breath or two before he stole the ability again. 

And that was why she always surrendered. To him, to his authority over her body.

Michael could feel his control waning, his hips bucking against her more erratically than quick and controlled. He tensed his jaw as he tried to slow himself down. 

“Fuck I don’t wanna stop. Throat feels like fuckin’ heaven, baby girl.” 

But he knew he had to. Because this lesson was far from over. And despite how much he loved to spill his seed down her throat or cover her face in it, he could not let that moment come too soon. He released her curls from the tangled grip around his fingers, his dick falling from her lips as he took a small step back from her. 

Raven immediately fell forward without him holding her up, coughing as she tried to fill her lungs again. He gave her enough time to stop coughing, for her breathing to return to normal, before a grip around her bicep hauled her to her feet. 

He slammed their bodies against the wall roughly, Raven moaning at the pure aggression of his lips and hands as they explored their prize: his willing, newly obedient thing. Even if he had to fuck such submission into her, remind her who made her pussy quiver, her body shake. Who commanded her soul. 

“Fuckkkkk, baby… please.” 

Raven did not know where to focus when every inch of his body seemed squarely focused on taunting her somehow. How his lips bit and sucked that sensitive spot below her ear? How his hands claimed every inch of her they could find? How she could feel the hard length of him nestled between her cheeks, her hips finding any leverage to grind against him. 

“Fuckin’ whore. Barely touched you n you’re already beggin’ for it.” 

Raven let out a sobbing gasp as two fingers entered her. It would not last long, her pleasure during punishments never did. They were to tease, to push her to the edge so she was a mewling, crying mess. So she would be beyond desperate when he finally filled her. But she was already there. Beyond desperate to be filled and fucked until her brain was an empty plane of pleasure and him. 

To feel him so deeply inside her that every neuron in her body could only focus on him. She needed this emotionally but it seemed as though her body was equally as desperate physically. 

And two fingers would not even come close to satisfying this ache. 

He grinned as he heard every thrust of his fingers inside her. 

“You hear that sweet pussy? So drenched for me. You think you deserve more after how you acted?? Deserve for me to fuck this pussy?” 

“No, no, I d-don’t. But… Michael, please. I n-need you.” 

Her voice threatened to implode the little composure he had left. So needy. Heavy and breathless with something that surpassed desperation. It was primal. Raw. 

But he could not give in too easily. 

Crack. A swift slap across her ass causing Raven to gasp in pain before he continued fucking her with his fingers.

“Fuck you call me?” 

“Daddy! Daddy… I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she moaned as he spanked her again. 

He couldn’t take his eyes off how her ass rippled against the force of his hand. And now all he wanted to see was it bounce against his dick. 

A whimper fell from her lips as he pulled his fingers away, leaving Raven achingly empty. 

He admired the mess of her on his fingers for a moment in the stream of moonlight to his right. He watched hungrily as he spread his fingers, strings of her nectar still clinging to each digit. He licked them off like a man starved. 

He preferred to taste this particular sweet treat straight from the source but she didn't deserve it. So this would have to do. Because even in her disrespect and disobedience? Raven Nicole Turner tasted like honey and all things holy. Depriving himself of even a sample was sacrilegious. 

This time, she received no warning before he filled her, stealing the air right from her body. It was too much. Before, all she could feel was the hard ridge of his chest pressing into her back, heat and lust trapping her against him. But now? She felt the delicious weight of him impaling her against the wall, pinning her there helplessly as he doled out his real punishment. 

“Fuck! Daddy! M-Michael… Wait, wait, wait. I-it’s too much.” Each word was a hurried gasp because that was all she could manage.

She could not run, he ensured she had nowhere to go. All she could do was beg. And he had no intention of listening. 

He didn’t utter a single word. Just unrestrained power in the form of another swift slap against her reddening ass, his hand taking a bruising grip on her hip as her pussy clenched uncontrollably around him. 

His other hand kept her arm pinned into the wall. She could only move with his thrusts. 

Grunts. Moans. Pleads. Skin slapping. An orchestra of contrition. 

Raven could not even hope to keep up or match his efforts, his pace too quick. Too powerful. With every thrust, the curve of him rammed right into that spot inside her that made her see stars and pushed her body into the wall. A jumbled but perfect harmony of pleasure and pain too complex to parse or understand. 

She earned this, every fiber of her needed it more than she realized. 

Every thought tumbled away and she only thought of him. Only felt what he allowed. The bruising grip of his fingertips digging into her hip, the tacky sweat of their skin pressed against each other, every ridge and vein of him pressing against her walls as if he was made to be inside her. That fucking curve into her g-spot.  

“I-I’m sorry, daddy. I’m sorry,” she gasped, lips parted and eyes clenched shut. 

He silenced her pitiful apologies with a swift crack against her ass, the sharp sting of his hand sending her over the edge of her first orgasm. 

He did not slow down to acknowledge it. He did not care. 

This was a man with a declaration in every stroke. As if he demanded she understand the gravity of her disrespect every time he slammed into her, felt the weight of it with every inch of him. 

He pulled her head back to give himself more leverage as he bit the soft skin of her neck, Raven’s jaw slack as she let out a moan from somewhere unrecognizable. 

“You’re done talkin’. Shut up n take this shit.”  

And that was all she could do. Take it as he pushed her over the crescent of another orgasm too fast, her body tensing, her hips rolling against him of their own volition as she came. Fast and hard. Free falling into an abyss of pleasure. An abyss that demanded more.  

“Where’s all that damn attitude now?? Now that you’re creamin’ on my dick, baby??” he taunted, his tongue licking a line up her neck where his teeth had just been. 

He felt her about to cum again, pulling out to deprive her of it. 

“Fuck!” It felt like taking a cold plunge when she felt him leave her, taking the pinnacle of her pleasure with him. 

His grip on her hip did not loosen. He merely steered her shaking legs and spent body to their bed, hinging her at the waist over the side. He hiked her right leg up, pressing her plush thigh into the softness of her mattress. His other hand pressed into her lower back, pinning her frame in an entirely different position. 

His favorite arch. Raven saw literal stars as he reentered her. She could damn near feel him in her stomach in this position. 

She tried to run. Her hands dug into his rich forest green duvet as she tried to get a break. She felt everything in overdrive. This was more than fucking. This was claiming, this was rearranging her brain chemistry so she would never even consider disrespecting him again. Every brush against her clit, every sharp spank against her ass cheeks. This was retribution in the only way he knew how to give it. 

By fucking her so hard, she would be walking different tomorrow. Or not at all. He alternated from punishing slow grinds that made her feel every inch of him and fast powerful thrusts that made her see stars and lose her breath.

He wrapped his hand around her throat, tightening with enough pressure for her to moan. He forced her body flush against his for a moment. 

“Fuck you going?? Run again n Imma light that ass up, princess. Understand?”

“Dadddyyyy, i-it’s too much,” she slurred as she tried to answer him. 

“I said, do you understand?” Every word punctuated by rapid thrusts and a slap to her hot, red cheeks. 

“Y-Yes! Ooo fuck! F-feels so good. Y-Yes, daddy!” 

“Good girl.” 

He moved her around his bedroom, fucking her only in positions that gave him max control and power over her frame. The most punishing? His finale. Raven hinged at the waist. Legs shaking, breasts swinging in her face with every thrust forward. The tips of her fingers offered some flimsy support to avoid toppling forward. Her legs were no help. 

He rendered them immobile four positions and seven orgasms ago. And Raven’s orgasms were coming faster and faster, the pain of him ringing her body utterly dry starting to eat away at the pleasure. But she knew he would not stop until he was done or she safe worded. 

He would have to change his sheets. They would both need a shower. She was soaked. He was soaked in her. 

This was the closest she ever came to actually needing it aside from Thanksgiving. She was overwhelmed in all the best ways, her brain flooded with endorphins and lust. She imagined her ass would have a bruise in the shape of his hand tomorrow, her legs would shake when she walked, if she had the energy to walk. 

But for better or worse, this was the clearest her mind had been all day. He had given her what she needed. And it felt fucking amazing. 

She would never do this again. But she prayed she never felt this desperate to escape her own mind again either.

Her moans and screams bounced off the walls, music to his ears as she struggled to take him. Her lower lips were sore, swollen, but that did not stop either of them. Did not stop him as he felt his release fast approaching, felt his hips snapping into her with abandon. 

Raven let out a slew of curse words as he poured the last of his energy into fucking her senseless, chasing his own orgasm as if they had just started. Not as if they had been going for over an hour. Raven lost track of time after the second orgasm. 

Michael’s grip on her hips only tightened as he came inside her, flooding her with warmth and his seed. 

An action that usually sent Raven tumbling over her own last peak but tonight? It sent her crashing back to reality. 

That’s why you’re pregnant, dumbass! A voice that sounded too sensible screamed at her. 

But at this moment, she couldn’t find it in her heart to feel stupid for letting him. Because with him still buried inside her, the belief that she might be already carrying his child felt far less daunting than it did two hours ago. It felt beautiful and sacred. Like what this moment always represented:  a physical manifestation of his love and adoration, his desire to be as humanly close to her as possible. 

He did not pull away once he caught his breath. He simply used his grip to lift her upper half, holding her still against him until she was steady. Not as soft as he usually would have been, but softer than before. 

After a few moments of steady deep breaths, he let his softened dick slide out of her. He adjusted quickly to pick her up as he felt her body start to crumple dangerously. He did not realize how much of her weight he was supporting. She could feel the tension he still wrestled with in his shoulder as she rested her head against it. He unleashed but it was clear he had not unleashed everything. 

But Raven had not expected him to. She knew there was a difficult conversation to be had and every step only brought her closer to it. Michael was a talker, he wanted to hash shit out. He was never just going to fuck her and consider the matter resolved. 

He sat her down on the counter, Raven hissing at the cool granite against her bruised ass before it settled into something more soothing against the ache. 

She let her eyes stay closed as she leaned back into the mirror, just listening to him work. Perhaps because she knew she would not be met with his usual kind eyes when she opened them. 

Rushing of bathwater. The squirt of her favorite bubble bath as jasmine and steam immediately started to fill his enclosed master bathroom. 

The squeak of the faucet he needed to call someone to take a look at. She shied away as she felt a washcloth against her overly sensitive lower lips. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled low, gruff. Sincere but still colder than he would’ve been. 

His tone stung. But it felt deserved. And familiar. Like the John and working girl she had always expected them to be, roles Raven still understood far better than their current ones she realized. Or perhaps, it was simply the role she found less complicated. The one she was more deserving of.  

He waited. That very quality being what set him apart from most men, from a John or even just selfish men who cared more about their egos to put anyone else first. Even when he was as angry as he could be at her, he still put her first. He prioritized what she needed: his presence nearby, gentleness, a chance to return to her body and mind. For everything in her and they shared to settle from a loud crackling of electricity to a soft vibrating buzz. 

He waited. Until he simply couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Rae. I understand havin’ a bad day, baby but you know that shit was outta line.” 

His tone carried more than anger now. Now, it held disappointment. Not merely because she crossed a line but because she did so knowingly. 

Her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to come up with a reason, an explanation. But she knew there was no good one for blatant disrespect. She wanted to give him the truth and even that wasn’t good enough. She did it because she knew it would work. And it had. And there was no real excuse or reason for that. 

Most men would likely accept her apology and move on but she knew this man. Knew he never cared to waste his time treating symptoms when he could cut through to the root cause. And he would want to know tonight’s root cause, what would drive her to consider hanging up on him in the first place. 

“Y-You’re right. I dunno. I was just in a bad… headspace. Having a bad day. I’m not feeling well and I’m exhausted and I took all of that out on you. I’m sorry.” 

“You’ve had bad days before, Raven. Never gave you the idea to disrespect me.” He paused. “Doesn’t give you the right either.” 

“No. No, it doesn’t. And it won’t happen again, baby. I swear.” 

“You know that’s the one thing I fucking hate. I wanna know why, Raven.” 

“I… don’t have a good reason. I was just frustrated and spiraling a-and… you were pushing and you wouldn’t sto-” 

“So it’s my fault for bein’ worried about you??” He took a step back, his arms crossing his bare chest. 

“That’s not what I’m-”

“Why wouldn’t I be worried when I come home n you’re nowhere to be fuckin’ found, Raven? When I find out you’re drivin’ at night in the middle of nowhere with your phone off? Why would I ever fuckin’ be okay with that?? Of course, I was worried!” 

His voice signaled an exasperation he was not used to feeling toward her or at least not for this long. He could not understand it. Nothing made sense. For her to behave this out of character, for her to not see how or why her actions would bother him. Stress him out. He did not want to limit her movements, did not want to be overbearing. But she had to understand his position. 

Raven was his everything. If something happened to her? He lost her once. And he barely survived it. If he lost her again because he missed some sign? His own negligence in being her protector? He would not survive that. 

“I wasn’t driving out of my mind in cornfields in North Dakota, Michael! I was driving on a nice night to clear my mind in one of the busiest and largest cities in the country. My phone was off because I wanted to unplug. I turned it on as soon as I needed it. I lost track of time and I’m sorry about that!.I just didn’t realize there was going to be an inquisition about it!” She argued back frustrated. 

Raven took a deep breath, rubbing her forehead. She did not even know why she was arguing. She needed him to go to bed, leave her be. Not continue to force this issue. 

“I got defensive because I was already frustrated and having a bad day,” she acquiesced. Difficult but true. Just not the whole truth. “And I’m sorry about that. It was wrong and I’m really sorry, baby.” 

He stared at her for a moment. 

“So what’s wrong?” 

“That’s not shit you’ve ever done, Raven. Any of it if we’re bein’ honest. So something was bothering you yesterday to cause this and I want to know what. Now.” 

“Nothing.” 

“It had you driving aimlessly to clear your mind and figure shit out but today, it’s nothing?” 

She rolled her eyes. 

And he called me relentless?? 

“It’s nothing I want or need you to worry about. That’s why I wanted the alone time. To figure it out… alone.” 

“What is there to figure out? If you talk to me n let me, I can help. You don’t have to do shit alone anymore.” 

“I know that. But I’m very capable of working through a bad day on my own. Y-You know this is a lot for me. M-My whole life is just so different. Everything has changed and some days, it is really hard. And I love you but you can’t fix a bad day.”

“I could’ve tried. If you’d given me the chance. Had come to me.”

“Come to you and said what, Michael? I’m sad? So you can leave your meetings and work for no reason? I don’t always need your help!” 

“I know that. I’m really trying, baby… I’m trying to be patient, Raven. But you aren’t makin’ it easy. You need to give me something. You want me to fall back, fine. You don’t want my help yet, fine. But you need to be honest with me.” 

“I am being honest. You just don’t like the answers.” 

Cold. Dismissive. Everything Raven was usually not unless he was dancing too close to a landmine.  

He balled his fists up as he leaned into the counter, frustrated and unsatisfied. He turned away from her, angrily switching off the bathtub now that the water was high enough. 

“Soak in the bath for a bit. I’m going to bed.” 

And he left her without another word, the door slamming shut behind him. 

He had not left her after sex since Paris, always holding her in the bath or sitting on the edge to talk if he did not want to get in. It stung. More than stung but she deserved every bit of his anger tonight. And as she slid into the tub, she prayed it had been enough to distract him for a few days. From digging too deeply or pressing too much into anything else. 

***

The early hours did not usher in any peace to the Jordan household. In fact, Michael wondered when they would find peace again. The silence brought a turmoil neither occupant was used to or could ignore as they got ready for the day. Despite not even truly living together, the pair had settled into a rhythm that felt natural. Easy. Joyful. 

The mornings were typically loud and energetic. After Michael’s meditations, their increasingly synchronized dance to shower and get ready was typically set to whoever remembered to connect their phone to the bluetooth speaker first. Steam, off-key singing, other activities, and laughter filled his suite. 

Today was void of all of that. No playful touches as they passed each other, no longing stares past the point of decency or joining the other in the shower, no kisses that turned into more. Not even musings about their plans for the day ahead. 

Just hopeful glances across a bedroom that started to feel more like a cruel prank to Raven than a sanctuary or a future. 

And no amount of sunlight streaming through his windows could ward off this particular chill. 

But Michael would not concede and Raven couldn’t, despite understanding that she was the one who needed to. She was to blame for this particular discord in their pastures, not him. And she wanted to fix it, wanted to tell him the truth. Fuck, she wanted to. 

But she clung to their current reality with a vice grip even the threat of a baby bump could not break. She was not ready for this to end. Not ready to watch it all implode. And most importantly, she was not ready to be left alone at the center to deal with the wreckage.  

Their eyes still found each other’s form, hers examining how he kept rolling his shoulders as he slid on a fitted t-shirt and tucked it into his slacks. The well-toned planes of his back etched a story of tension, fatigue. His tense jawline told one of frustration. 

This room hadn’t seen a restful night in days. For either of them. But they had too much to do before their trip. 

The last thing Raven wanted to do was schmooze in Vegas when she felt like shit but she knew it was important to Michael. So it was important to her.  

She occupied herself with her jewelry, discarded on the nightstand on her side of the bed. The gold diamond choker Michael gave her on their first date rested neatly on her neck. No longer an accessory for date nights. Just a part of her being. She did not think she took it off since the Oscars. 

Michael settled on his side of the bed, bending to tie his shoes as he threw similar fitful glances Raven’s way, noting the exhaustion in her eyes. Her shoulders hunched over with defeat as if she was actively losing a fight no one else knew she was in. 

He was trying to be patient. But he did not think Job, himself, would have the patience for whatever was wrong with his girl. And as mad at her as he tried to be since their argument, he kept finding his concern outweighing it. 

Something was wrong. Multiple things were wrong. The way she pushed him away and refused to let him in. It reminded him of how she acted when they were first together. As if he shouldn’t care, as if her problems and struggles weren’t his as well. 

Last night was one of the worst so far. 

Michael shifted in bed, his eyes groggily fluttering open into the darkness of his bedroom. 

He groped his bedside for his phone. The screen dim, his eyes taking a few minutes to make out the time. 3:27 am. 

He hadn’t gone to bed long ago, wondering what could’ve woke him up. But as soon as he thought about it, he felt the lack of warmth curled next to his body or half way on top of him. He slept like shit without her. But it was not her absence, he quickly realized, as he heard a sound. 

A sob. 

Soft. Barely audible over the white noise streamed through their bedroom at night. 

Followed by a heave. More common of a sound to waken him these days, unfortunately. But tonight, this unusual addition caught his ear. Pained. More anguished than usual. Every heave carried a cry, something desperate for relief. Even just for a moment. 

He clenched his eyes shut knowing he was inviting another fight. They had still not recovered from whatever the hell happened the night before. Or rather he hadn’t. Because he just couldn’t understand it. 

But if the alternative was to lay here and pretend he couldn’t hear this? And do nothing? 

A particularly painful sounding wrench forced him to his feet, his hand shaking the brass doorknob before he could formulate a real thought. 

It was locked. He jiggled it again more forcefully as if it would magically change. He heard a sudden sniffle, how she quickly cleared her throat. 

“I-I’ll be out in a minute.” 

“Don’t come out. Let me in, Rae.” 

He did not let go of the door as he waited for the click of the lock turning. But instead, all he heard was the silence of hesitation. 

“Raven Nicole Turner, I swear to God either you open this door or I call a fucking ambulance n break it down myself. Let me in.” 

Raven’s head fell against the wood, frustrated. She knew she had less than five seconds before his shoulder connected to that door with enough force to bring it down. 

She cursed herself, her own weakness. She was used to riding illnesses out. But even she had her limits, when she wanted to break. And tonight, when all she wanted was a few hours of escape from this? To forget about it? It hit in full force. The nausea, the pain of every heave to expel the small meal she’d managed to keep down at lunch time. The frustration at her body rejecting even that. The dizziness when she tried to stand or even move from the cold bathroom tile.

The pained sob had escaped at the realization she had a whole trimester of this. Of being miserable in her own body with no relief. It had nothing to do with Michael, she was simply exhausted. And terrified of all the changes her body was already going through. 

Was it a bad sign that her body already seemed to be in active revolt? This was torture. 

“D-Don’t knock the door down, Baby Creed,” she called out, unlocking it quickly. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” she immediately offered as she turned away from him to go brush her teeth. “I’ll go to the guest room with the ensuite tonight.” 

Raven meant that. She had hoped the man on the other side of the bathroom wall was sleeping too deeply to hear her. Wishful thinking. 

Foolish, really. 

Her clammy palm pressed into the cool granite counter as she reached for her toothbrush, rolling her shoulders slowly. But this particularly heaviness could not be simply shaken off. Because she had let it settle… into her bones and body as if it were part of her.

“Can’t keep goin’ like this, Rae.”

“I’m fine, baby. I just need to get a good night’s rest. I'm more exhausted t-than anything.” 

He cupped her face, Raven selfishly stealing a moment to lean into his warmth. His love. 

“Princess. This is more than exhaustion. Let me take you to a doctor. Let me call my doctor. Let me do somethin’ please. You’re miserable n it’s killin’ me, baby.” 

“There’s nothing a doctor’s gonna do.” 

“How do you know that? You’re not a doctor, Raven.” 

“And neither are you,” she shot back, taking a step back from him. “I’m asking you, for once, to just let it go, Michael. Let me figure it out. I always do.” 

“Sweet girl,” The exasperation in his voice reached a fever pitch. “This isn’t a rent payment or your family with their hand out. This is your health. This is the thing you expect me to stand down on??” 

“Yes. That’s what I want. That’s what I need.” 

He paused, bowing his head as he forced himself to be okay with that. He did not know if that would ever be possible but he knew one thing. Being there for her was more important than winning an argument or getting the right answer tonight. 

“Aight,” he raised his hands in surrender. “You win, baby girl. But you don’t gotta suffer  alone in here. Brush your teeth n then come back to bed. I’ll get the trash can n make you some ginger tea. But you ain’t sleepin’ in no fucking guest room.”

She wanted to laugh at how he grumbled the last part to himself, his bare feet shuffling against the carpet. She imagined him scratching his head in that frustrated way when something’s got to him. 

“Guest room,” she heard him mumble again as he opened the door to run downstairs.   

She squandered yet another opportunity, she realized as he retreated. To be honest. To tell him the truth. Her resolve had never been weaker. But every time she thought of making that jump into this particular sea with him, some instinct kept her feet rooted at the edge. And instead of leaping, all she could think to do was inch back, away from the edge, from danger. But also away from him. 

She hated it, despised that it was all she knew how to do. And yet, here she was. Unable to stop it. But what did it matter? Whether she pushed him away or the news of a baby did? She lost him. All the same. 

He returned with her steaming tea before she gathered the strength to drag her feet back to their bed. She hugged the edge of the bed once she settled, unsure of whether she could retreat to her safest place against his chest. But he silenced her doubt for her, a gentle arm wrapping around her waist to pull her into a broad warm chest. 

She did not fall into him just yet, despite how desperately her body wanted to.

“You’re mad at me.” 

She said it quietly. Not a question, a definitive statement she knew to be true, voicing that doubt of whether he even wanted to be her safe space right now. Or did he simply feel obligated? 

“Ain’t happy with you, no. But I’ll never deny you what you need. Just want you to get some rest, princess.” 

He savored how that seemed to give her permission to melt into his chest, to let him envelop her. And everything in her seemed to calm with every passing second in his arms. Even in his frustration, how could he ever deny her this? Being her safe place to land and rest was his greatest joy, regardless of how he was feeling in a particular moment. 

“I love you, baby.” He offered it with a soft kiss to her forehead before he let her drift off to sleep. 

He hated this.

He had never felt so frustrated and useless. Raven never pushed him and his support away like this before. He did not realize how difficult it was to solve a problem when the person refuses to even acknowledge it themselves.  

He knew he shouldn’t. The fragile peace holding their home together could not withstand too many more blows. And yet, he knew he would not be able to function, be able to sit in a day of meetings at his office without asking. Without ensuring she was okay. Even if she pushed him away. 

That was what she would do, right? She deserved to have someone do the same for her. 

“Sure you’re aight? Was a rough night.” 

Raven’s head shifted slightly away from him, her eyes clenching shut before she nodded, three delicate gold bracelets sliding into place on her wrist. She forced herself to be short and clipped, hopeful her tone would communicate she did not want to talk about it. 

“Yea, I’m good.” 

This girl…

Michael felt his jaw nearly unhinge. He did not expect anything else but he was hopeful. Hopeful she was ready to put whatever burdened her soul down. His hands clutched the edge of the leather bench at the foot of his bed. An attempt to control the frustration swelling. He knew she would only fold with grace and understanding. But he was finding it difficult to push that to the forefront over the side of him that wanted to grab her shoulders and shake this loose. 

“Rae…” 

“The answer isn’t any different from last night, Michael. Please.” 

He hung his head in defeat for a moment before nodding and straightening up to head into his closet to finish getting ready. He didn’t even say a word, his back flexing with tension and frustration. 

Raven chewed on her lip guilty as she watched him retreat, not because there was anything he needed to go do. But because he needed to get away from her. Not that she blamed him. 

Her hands busied themselves with filling the leather crossbody she discarded earlier to change her outfit. She hoped the day of self-care to prep for their trip would help take her mind off things.However, this time? When she looked at her wallet, she noticed the distinct green of cash she knew was not there before.  

She immediately pulled it, eyeballing, at least, three hundred dollars before Michael’s voice interrupted her counting.

“Gonna be out for most the day. Just hit me up if you need me.” 

“Wait! What’s this?” 

Cash fanned out in between them, the green paper causing tension to rise several degrees in an instant. 

“Cash. Bout $500.” 

“Okay. I didn’t have $500 in my wallet yesterday. You put it in here?” 

“Yea.” 

“Why?” 

“Cause we’re goin’ on a trip. I know you’re getting your mani, pedi, wax today or tomorrow so I wanted to make sure you had what you needed.”

He watched the explanation sink heavily into her bones but it didn’t settle. He could tell every answer did. Because he was not explaining anything. He was reinforcing something. And unfortunately for him, he had no idea what yet and could not get ahead of it. 

“Okay, but I have what I need for that. I can pay for that stuff.” 

“Sure. But why would you? What’s wrong? That isn’t enough?” 

She could hear the sincerity in his voice. As if he would gladly give her another $500 if she claimed that was what it cost. In fact, his hand was already reaching into his denim pocket for his wallet. 

“I know that place you liked before Paris is expensive. What’s wrong? I got more, just figured 5 would cover it.” 

Raven wrinkled her nose. 

‘That ain’t enough?’ Does he think I’m tryin’ to take more? 

“That’s not the…” she sighed frustrated, an anger she did not know what to do with surging. “It’s more than enough. Thank you, baby. But it’s honestly too much.  I really shouldn’t need someone’s weekly pay to get my nails done. But regardless, what’s wrong is  you acting like I need you to slip money in my wallet under the assumption that I don’t have it or can’t pay for things like this. I don’t need to go to the most expensive salon in LA… I will find a place I can afford with my own money. I don’t want or need yours.”

Michael focused on her, fighting the urge to immediately retort. Not on her words, though he listened. But he just forced himself to look at her. How her frame grew stiff, that thick cloud of doubt forced her to waver from him, the incessant chewing of her bottom lip. 

Selfishly, he had hoped, when he slid the cash in her wallet earlier while she was deciding on an outfit in the closet. that she wouldn’t notice until they left the house. He figured it would be easier for her to accept it. He expected pushback, sure. But this, once again, was more. This was anger. Mounting, taking shape faster than he could taper it. 

“I get it. I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to upset you. I honestly didn’t think you’d mind. I’ve paid for your nails before and it hasn’t been an issue.”

Michael was rarely perplexed when it came to Raven. He considered her the perfect mystery. Richly layered, deliciously complex, the sweet dash of intrigue swirling among quiet but perfectly-executed brilliance. Every clue, every morsel of information, informed the last and the next. And piece by piece, he discovered her. He earned the rulebook of how to love her. 

But as of late? He hit his first wall, where her clues only led to more questions. And she revealed no answers. 

And this only compounded them. He always expected pushback when he paid for her nails or took on a financial expense. His girl was a sweet and relentlessly stubborn thing. As frustrating as it was right now, he had to admit, it was one of the qualities he loved about her. 

But she always folded eventually. Always rolled her eyes and grinned, mumbled a thank you for whatever it was. Because this was one way he knew how to love her. By providing for her needs, first and foremost. But also the whims of her heart, her flights of fancy. Because he could. Because he wanted to. Because she deserved it. 

She’d never ask for any of it. Big or small. Important or insignificant. She’d never consider herself worth any sacrifices. So he just moved so she never had to ask. But where she saw sacrifice, he saw devotion. He saw care. He saw preserving her peace and ensuring she felt safe and at home with him, in his life and world. 

And instead of settling into his lifestyle and his support now that they were official, she seemed more adamant about rejecting it. As if she realized the more she accepted, the more he would offer. The more he would just give and the more this would become real. 

But he did not know how to be any different. 

“Not since we…” She let out an exasperated sigh. 

Why did every conversation turn into an argument??

“I don’t need this. Not now or ever. And I wish you’d listen to me when I say that. I appreciate it and you for caring. But I could take care of myself before you and I can still do it now. And I should.”

Her shoulders squared and straightened slightly as she spoke, her eyes meeting him with determination and confidence.

As if to remind him and herself that she was not in need of saving.

“I started looking for jobs again so I can start to get back on track financially and support myself until writing and my book can full time. I s-shouldn’t be so reliant on you anyway. I should be living within my means and budget, not yours.” 

She picked at her nails, hues of orange, yellow, and pink blending to reflect the fading sun. 

“You know... like before.”

Like before. 

His body stilled, his rebuttal halted as he finally saw it. 

The largest chasm between them. He shifted from how they started, allowing them to evolve into something meaningful. Something with longevity.  For him, their relationship stopped being transactional on her birthday. If he were being totally honest, it never really was for him. 

But Raven? Her knuckles seemed tightly clasped to where they were. A john and a working girl. A man who left when the Sun rose and did not trouble himself with what the woman he left behind needed beyond the cash he left on the table. A man who did not care about all the things she needed to be whole. 

But when was that ever them? When did he ever leave her in pieces? Or not care about her? That was all he ever wanted to do: love and care for her.  When did he ever leave her to struggle within her means, only to experience his lifestyle when it suited him or he could use her body and labor?

He thought, never. But then, he wondered why Raven seemed to have no trust in that.

“This isn’t before.”

The words bounced off her with force. Stillness that stretched just a hair too long. When a person’s reaction feels forced, acquiescing because the conversation needed to move on. Not because she agreed. The forced tilt of her head, a half-hearted shrug of agreement that signaled understanding. 

But underneath that wrapping? 

He could still see it. A growing  doubt on whether this was really all that different at all.

“I know. I just think… We should keep things separate until I’m working and can contribute. And I’m not interested in arguing about it. So…” 

She tried to thrust the money back into his hand. But Raven was about to learn one of the things Michael’s pride would not allow him to tolerate. His mild agitation shifted into something equally searing as he internalized the notion that he would ever take back something he willingly gave her. 

“I don’t want it. Take it back.” 

“No.” Firm. Uncompromising. 

“Take it back, Michael. I’m serious.” 

The version of Michael who offered grace vanished like smoke. In his wake, a master who did not bend. Who only demanded surrender. Who her body and soul always buckled to. 

And still Raven found she was not ready to surrender. Not on this.

He closed the space between them, a righteous rage wafting off him.

His frame towered over her, Raven forcing her body not to shrink as authority wrapped around her, forcing her attention to him.

“Spend it, sit it in the drawer. Give it away, toss it down the damn garbage disposal n shred that shit. Don’t matter to me. But it’ll be a cold day in hell before I take back somethin’ I gave to you. You understand me?”

Raven chewed on her lip, every fiber of her being demanding she apologize. A “yes sir” strained against her lips, begging for release to save her.  

“Y-Yes. I just… I don’t want your money, Michael. That’s not what I’m here for. Or to live off you or become an influencer or end up on some best dressed list. T-To trap you w-with obligations,” she muttered. “I don’t want to be a burden to you. O-Or like you’re obligated to do more than love me. I-I’m not asking for more.” 

Michael’s eyes softened for a moment as her frustrations gave way to something made more of glass and vulnerability than steel and coldness. Something that almost sought to convince him. Something soft behind her eyes that pleaded with him.

“Rae, baby girl. I know that. I just like making sure you’re good. It’s not the burden you think it is, baby. I promise. N I don’t ever wanna hear you suggest I feel obligated to do it. That’s never been the case.” 

Raven heard his words but they didn’t make sense. This was their entire relationship. Michael saved her, he took care of her, and he kept her afloat. Over and over and over again. 

You’re already a burden and now you’re adding a child? Of course he’s gonna get tired of being your life raft. 

Panic rose, forcing her legs to pace. To move in hopes of releasing just a fraction of its mounting weight against her chest before it exploded out of her. 

“But when does it stop?? I mean, my rent, the car, all these clothes, hell my career. It’s all because of you. You know the last time I depended on someone? The day I moved out for college. And right now, for the first time in over a decade, every aspect of my survival is wrapped up in someone else. Dependent on you.” 

She felt the words pouring out of her as she paced, words she tried to ignore as they settled into this. As she let Michael take on more and more. Because she was tired. And he was willing. But now, he held too much and Raven’s responsibilities would double in nine months. Would he still be willing to hold that? 

Would he even still be here?

“It’s all your money and connections. If I don’t have a way of taking care of myself on my own, what am I left with that you can’t take back when you change your m-?” 

She stopped herself and still, those unfinished words still exploded like a grenade in the space between them. And she did not need to look at him to see how his anger morphed and shifted. Because she could feel it like a live creature stalking beside them. 

That of all the things she could’ve said? Raven knew she did more than strike a nerve. 

She cut directly into one. 

“When I what?” His voice dropped to a lethal octave, daring her to finish. Own it.

“Forget it.” 

Her feet tried to carry her past him, his body easily blocking the small path between her side of his bed and the wall. 

“Let me go, Michael. Not about to argue with you.” 

“Oh you not? Cause feels like you’ve been lookin’ for a fight with me for days now so stand on that shit. ‘When I change my mind about you?’ That’s what you wanted to say.” 

Michael felt something heavy settle in his heart. A disappointment that all this effort, everything they shared in the last few months since she came back to him, had done nothing to soften this barrier. Done nothing to instill any trust that they wove a safety net beneath her now. That she had support and help. That he would never leave her alone again. 

“I’ve proven I’ll chase you to the end of this Earth. When are you gonna get tired of runnin’ from me, baby?” 

Raven faltered. Her eyebrows creased, a hollow chuckle escaping as she tried to think of a rebuttal. She folded her arms tight, not even caring about wrinkling her blouse after incessantly ironing this morning. She had not expected that. For him to call her out so easily, so quickly. 

“I- I’m not running from you. I came back to you, in case you forgot. I’m in this, Michael. So don’t turn this back around on me! I don’t even know why you fight me so hard on this silly shit anyway! We’re arguing over me paying for basic shit! Most men would be happy their girlfriend isn’t a gold digger trying to bleed them dry!” 

“What cheap ass niggas do in their households don’t got shit to do with what I do in mine. The only person in this house worried about you bleedin’ me dry is you. I’ve been doin’ everything I can think of to ensure you know you have free reign of all this shit. Never worried about you takin’ advantage or tryin’ to  manipulate me. Because I know you.” 

He stalked toward her, closing the space between them. 

“I know you, Raven. And you’re only fightin’ me and pushin’ me this hard because somethin’ is wrong. So stop runnin’ n hiddin’ n tell me. Cause you can’t run forever n unfortunately for you, I can. You’re not gonna outlast me. But you’d be doin’ us both a favor if you stop makin’ me chase you, baby.” 

Raven threw her hands up in the air. “I’m not running! I’m starting my life over. Not for the first time, mind you. I can’t just rely on this relationship. I can’t get complacent in my life just because you want to take care of me. I’m trying to find some stability and be in this relationship with you.” 

“Why can’t you start over with me, baby. Build somethin’ new with me.” 

“Because…” her words failed her.

Because it won’t last. You won’t stay. 

“Because as much as you love me, your shoes have been laced up and ready for this to end since you came back. You’ve got one foot out the door and you refuse to need me. Cause it makes it harder if it ends, harder to pick up the pieces if you choose to rely on me. If you let yourself actually need me.” 

“That’s not true. I know I need you for things. I love you.” 

“But you don’t trust that I love you enough to help you without resenting you for it later. You don’t let me help. You don’t come to me. You won’t jump, Rae. You’re not jumpin’. Cause you’re still expectin’ me to leave. To fail you like everyone else. But that’s not how this can work. It doesn’t work if we don’t rely on each other.”

She felt that sting in the back of her eyes, his being a frustrating reminder that he would always dig. Deeper, further. Past whatever she offered, past the heart until he reached the soul of what plagued her. Where she buried it deepest. Not in a quest for control or dominance but a pilgrimage for the truth of her. 

And she hated it. It made her regret every word that fell out of her mouth in the last ten minutes. Words that would’ve sent a lesser man out the door in frustration 10 minutes ago but kept this particular man she loved planted. Rooted until he exhausted every option to get to her truth. Until she folded. 

“I need you too.” 

“It’s not…” 

The words failed, the young woman throwing down the cash on the bed in frustration. All of this had been so clear. Her feelings, what she believed he thought. And he was punching holes in every thought, every narrative she’d built. 

Raven was not sure the last time she picked an argument and lost ground this badly. 

“I know I can rely on you! That’s ridiculous to even say that to me when I’d literally have nothing I have right now without you. I mean need I run through the fucking list again? Oh, add helping me with my never ending family drama to the list. I mean-”

“ALL things,” he interrupted, his voice raising to silence her, Michael now toe to toe with her. She wanted an argument, wanted to finally drag all this into the light. He welcomed it if it meant he could finally put these insecurities to rest. That she could finally believe him.

“I did without even asking you. Every problem I’ve solved, even the ones I created, I had to fight you tooth n nail for. N I don’t mind it. Don’t mind provin’ you can’t out stubborn me. But when have you ever asked me for help? N not even just money or physical things. When have you ever come to me for anything?” 

She clenched her eyes shut, jerking her head away. Because they both knew the answer. 

Never. 

Before, she had not wanted to, not wanted to intertwine her survival any further in a fake relationship with a man she’d never see again. But now… some part of her still would not let her.

“Exactly. Because you don’t. Rae… I’m willin’ to run around this house havin’ the same argument over that fuckin’ car and stylists or who pays your nails for the rest of our lives. That’s how much I love you. But does that really feel… safer than trying to trust me?” 

“I don’t trust you because I want to make sure I don’t have to rely on you or anyone else?? Because I need to build a life t-that doesn’t require you to function?!” 

She let out a breathless laugh, all humor void as she folded her arms tightly and squared her shoulders. 

“You know… you keep acting like we’re equals here, Michael. But we aren’t! We never have been and we never will be if you don’t let me figure my shit out without your help. Have you ever considered how embarrassing this is? Without you, I’d probably be homeless o-or worse! If you hadn’t shown up on my doorstep like Prince Charming to save me from my own fucked up choices and mistakes and failures, I don’t know where I’d be. Maybe that’s what’s wrong and maybe I’m just trying to fix that, Maybe it has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with me wanting to get my shit together so I can actually be your equal and partner in this. And so this,” she angrily gestured at the loose cash on the bed, her anger and voice reaching new heights. “Can actually feel like a gesture and not like another morning payment to the charity case and whore you’re fucking?!” 

The words hit him with such venom and force, it knocked him back. He felt his rooted stance falter, his weight falling on a foot behind him. 

He let out a shuddering exhale. The layers within that statement he had no idea how to parse out. Was that what all she would ever believe she was to him? 

A confirmation of what he longed feared but she denied. That the voices of the outside, voices like Terrance’s and the media dubbing her his Cinderella? Those voices found their way inside and were festering like an infected wound. More than she maybe even realized. 

Raven regretted the words as soon as she heard them back. As she watched them settled between them like wreckage too widespread to fathom. That moment when the cat’s out of the bag and running free but you wish nothing more than to stuff it back in. Because the look on his face? The mix of pure disappointment and rage? She wished she had said nothing at all. 

“I-” She tried to move toward him but he raised a hand to stop her. 

“I’d think twice about the next thing you say to me, Raven.” 

“I didn’t mean it like that. I ju-” 

He shook his head. 

“No, you meant it exactly like that.” 

His tone was hard. Unwavering. As if he would not now allow her to backtrack on it or pretend that was not how she felt in her very soul. 

“And that’s the saddest part. I’ve never thought of you as either of those things. Even when this was transactional. All I’ve ever seen is the woman I love. But you think of yourself that way. As someone I could never truly love after the Sun comes up. Someone unworthy of care and support in the light of day. And you don’t get to project that shit onto me like I feel that way. Those aren’t my words. They’re yours.” 

He turned and started toward the door, angrily swiping his phone from the bench where he discarded it. 

“Michael-” 

“The only person ashamed of how we started is you, Raven. The only person ashamed of who you were and what you brought to this when we met is you. The only person keeping score… is you. I won’t apologize for having resources and using them to help you. For loving you like you deserve. All of this,” he gestured around them. “What I do for you is for us. For our future. Our family n the life I thought we’re trying to build together. It isn’t payment. It’s love. And if you can’t see the difference…”

He sighed. “I don’t know what’s got you runnin’ scared like this and I can’t force you to tell me or let me in. But if a John and a working girl are all you’re ever gonna let yourself see when you need to lean on me, when you need help… then I’m at a loss.” 

Silence passed between for a moment. Not the kind they were used to. The kind when you’ve reached an impasse. When there is nothing else to say. 

 “I’ll see you tonight.” A pause. “I love you.”  

And then he left, leaving Raven stewing in her regret. 

Tag List: @apenasumlug4r @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @lizbehave @Ib-xci @theereinawrites @cocobean1709 @vibrantlymellowknight @kindofaintrovert @mejustme06

You should’ve kept your mouth shut.

That was the only thought in your head the second Erik’s hand closed around your throat and shoved you back against the wall. His grip was firm, deliberate— not crushing, but tight enough that your pulse hammered under his fingers and every breath had to work for it.

“Say it again.” His voice was low, almost calm. “Go on. Loud enough for me to hear it this time.”

You swallowed against his palm. The teasing had started light— sitting on the edge of the bed in just his shirt, swinging your legs, smirking while he peeled off his hoodie. You’d looked him up and down, lingered on the bulge in his sweats, and dropped it like a joke.

“Damn, Erik. For all that shit you be talkin’… you packin’ something real small under there, huh?”

He’d gone still. Dangerously still.

Now you are pinned, his body caging yours, thigh forcing your legs apart so you could feel exactly how hard he already was.

“I—”

“Say. It. Again.”

You should’ve stopped. Instead the bratty smile curled back onto your mouth.

“What? You mad I called your shit small? Look at all that attitude for a nigga with a little di—”

The rest of the word never made it out.

Erik’s free hand fisted in your hair and yanked your head back hard, forcing your face up toward his. At the same time his grip on your throat tightens just enough that your vision flickered at the edges. Not enough to black out. Just enough that every breath was shallow and controlled by him.

“Keep talkin’ yo’ shit,” he muttered, already dragging his sweatpants down. “Keep running that fuckin’ mouth like you don’t know exactly what happens when you do.”

He let go of your throat just long enough to shove his sweatpants down his hips. Then he spun you, shoved you face-first onto the mattress, and climbed over you in one fluid motion. One hand locked back into your hair, pinning your cheek to the sheets. The other wrapped around your throat from behind again, thumb and fingers pressing in just under your jaw so you could feel every heartbeat.

You felt him then… thick, heavy, hot against your bare ass. Not small. Not even close. The head dragged through the wetness already coating your folds and you bit back a sound that was half surprise, half need.

Erik noticed.

He always notices.

A dark, mean little chuckle left him as he notched himself against your entrance and pushed in just enough to stretch you around the tip.

“Still think it’s small?”

You tried to answer. The only thing that came out was a shaky, restricted breath when he snapped his hips forward and buried every thick inch inside you in one brutal thrust.

Your back arches. A broken moan tears out of your throat with what little air he is allowing you.

Erik doesn’t give you time to adjust. He sets a punishing pace immediately— deep, hard strokes that forces the air from your lungs every time he bottoms out. The wet slap of skin fills the room. His hand in your hair never loosened; every thrust was accompanied by a sharp tug that kept your neck arched and your face pressed into the mattress. The hand on your throat stayed steady, controlling how much air you got, keeping you right on the edge of dizzy without ever letting you slip under.

“Look at you,” he growled against your ear. “Takin’ it like a good little bitch, yet you still had the nerve to talk shit. You feel that? Feel how deep I’m in you while I’m cuttin’ off your air?”

You try to nod. The movement only makes his grip in your hair pull harder.

“Use your words.”

“Y-yes—” The word comes out strained, almost choked.

“Yes what?”

“It’s not—Daddy—ah—fuuuck—it’s not small—”

Erik’s grin turns sinister. He pulls almost all the way out, then slams back in so hard the headboard cracks against the wall. At the same time his fingers tighten around your throat just a fraction more. Your vision swims. Your pussy clenches hard around him.

“Say my name.”

“Erik—”

His hand squeezes harder. Not enough to take you under, but enough that your next breath is thin and desperate.

“Bitch, you know my name.”

Your voice comes out broken, almost a sob.

“Killmonger—”

“Louder.”

“Killmonger—oh my god—”

“Is my shit small?”

“No—it’s not small—aaah—Killmonger—”

He lets go of your throat just long enough to hook an arm under your hips and yank them higher, folding you tighter under him. Then his hand is back around your neck, reclaiming your air as he drives even deeper. The new angle punches a broken cry out of you.

Every thrust drags against that perfect spot until your vision starts to blur for real. The combination of the relentless stretch, the sharp pulls on your hair, and the controlled restriction of air has you shaking apart under him.

“That’s what I thought,” he rasps. “Talkin’ all that shit like you weren’t already drippin’ for it. Next time you wanna run your mouth about my dick, remember this.” Another hard snap of his hips, another sharp tug on your hair. “Remember how it feels when I’m stretchin’ this tight little pussy open while I’m decidin’ how much air you get to breathe.”

You were past coherent answers. Just gasps and broken moans and the desperate clench of your walls around him every time he bottoms out. Erik fucks you like he’s proving a point—unforgiving, deep, vicious— until the coil in your belly snaps and you come with a choked sob, pulsing around him while his hand stays locked on your throat.

He doesn’t stop.

Even while you are still clenching and shaking around him, he keeps driving into you at the same hard pace. The pleasure turns sharp fast. You whimper and try to twist your hips away, but his hand in your hair yanks you right back into place and the one on your throat tightens just enough to make your head swim.

“Uh-uh. Don’t run from it now.” His voice was low and ruthless against your ear. “You was just talkin’ all that shit. Now you gon’ take it.”

You make a broken little sound and try to push up on your elbows. He shoves you back down flat and fucks you harder, grinding deep like he’s trying to leave a permanent imprint.

“Look at you. Five minutes ago you was callin’ my shit small, now you can’t even take the dick you asked for.” He gave a dark, breathless laugh when your walls flutter around him again. “Pussy so fuckin’ greedy it don’t even know when to quit. Stay still, bitch.”

You are visibly squirming now—overstimulated, oversensitive, trying to close your legs. Erik just forces them back open with his weight and keeps going, every thrust punching little punched-out moans out of you that he cut short with the pressure on your throat.

“That’s what you get for talkin’ reckless. Take this shit! Take every fuckin’ inch like the slut you is.”

Only when your whimpers turn into actual desperate little sobs does he finally pull out, flip you onto your back, and climb between your thighs again. He slams back into you in one hard thrust, then fists one hand in your hair and wraps the other back around your throat, pressing in just enough that your eyes water and every moan comes out thin and desperate.

“Still got jokes?” he asks, voice rough with effort. “Still think it’s small while I’m rearrangin’ your fuckin’ guts and controllin’ every breath you take?”

You shake your head as much as his grip allows, moaning helplessly.

“That’s right.” He leans over you, chest pressed to yours, mouth at your ear. “You take this dick like it was made for you. And next time you even think about talkin’ shit…” He thrust particularly deep, grinding against your cervix until you cry out, the sound cut short by the pressure on your throat. “…I’m bendin’ you over the nearest surface, wrappin’ this pretty neck in my hand, and remindin’ you exactly how wrong you are.”

He comes with a low, guttural sound, burying himself to the hilt and pulsing deep inside you while his hand stays firm on your throat and his fist stays tight in your hair. Hot. Thick. 

Claiming.

For a long moment the only sound in the room is the two of you breathing hard— yours still slightly restricted until he finally eases his grip.

Then Erik slowly pulls out, watched his cum leak from you, and gives your ass another sharp slap.

“Still think it’s small?”

You can only manage a shaky, wrecked little laugh, voice hoarse.

“…No, Killmonger.”

Erik’s low chuckle is pure satisfaction. He gives your hair one last deliberate tug, forcing your eyes up to his.

“Good girl.”

He releases you completely. No lingering touch. No soft words. Just that single, final claim.

You stay where he’s left you— legs still spread, thighs trembling, his cum already starting to drip down onto the sheets— and you watch him.

Erik stands, rolls his shoulders once, and walks out of the room without looking back. The bathroom door clicks shut behind him a few seconds later.

You can still feel the phantom pressure of his hand on your throat and the dull ache in your scalp where he’d held you. All you can do now is lay there and listen to the sound of the shower starting.

End Note: I hope you liked this, Anon, and that I gave you what you wanted! I've NEVER written Erik or a " x Reader" fic before. I surprised myself with how much I enjoyed it. 🤭 But if you didn't like it... blame @lizbehave for forcing me to write this. 😜😂 Seriously, tho... thank you for this request because it really did get me out of my comfort zone and pushed me to try something completely different.

Ok... now I'm going back to my little Smoke x Annie corner of the world! 🫶🏾

Smoke was currently focused on the heavy steel of his pistol.

Click-slide

He was stripping his weapon down for cleaning. He didn’t want to leave any traces of blood or brain matter from the nigga he had to off for trying to rob one of his trap houses while he was out of town doing business with his twin. His large, calloused fingers moved with ease over the metal. Smoke was dressed down in a black beater that strained against the massive breadth of his chest and matching lounge pants that clung to the heavy weight between his thighs.

And he was stiff because of the fine ass Trini occupying his space.

Kizzy Shantel.

She had been a colorful blur in his peripheral for the last hour since returning from a mini shopping spree with his money, her bags still sitting on the floor near the front door. She was wearing a lime green, ribbed micro-set that was barely there, the top containing two bee stings and the bottoms hugging the wide, rounded flare of her hips and the projection of her ass. She’d been dancing, humming a slow soca tune and tossing out bratty comments in her melodic voice, trying every trick in her book of defiance to break his concentration.

Smoke didn’t look up. His expression was a mask of calm, predatory focus but his jaw tightened as she stepped closer. The moment he set the slide down to reach for a cleaning cloth, she moved with a bratty, impatience, she got down on her hands and knees and crawled across the carpeted floor and slid between his massive thighs. Without a word of greeting by or a hint of patience, she reached up and shoved his hand aside, her small palm clamping firmly around the bulge in his pants. Kizzy gave it a firm squeeze, feeling the sheer girth and the distinct curve of him. She looked at him with those coy, almond eyes framed with hybrid lashes, voice a thick, sugary purr.

“Why you so busy?”

Smoke went completely still.

She let out a needy moan, rubbing her palm up and down the length of him, trying to force him to pay attention to her. She pouted, looked up at him with doe eyes, bit the corner of her lip when she finally found his tip and started stroking it with her thumb.

Smoke’s hand shot down like a viper. His thick fingers locked around her in a grip that was bordering on painful. He yanked her hand away from his crotch, forcing her to release a tiny squeak. Before she could even gasp, Smoke stood and began backing her against the wall, pinning her wrists high above her head. She looked up at him, confidence flickering as she saw the look in his eyes—dark, assessing and completely dominant.

“Who the fuck told you that you could touch me without permission? Who taught you to just reach out and grab what you want without asking?” Smoke’s voice was a low, rumbling vibration that seemed to rattle her bones. He leaned in with his chest crushing her breasts, his size and smell overwhelming her. “You actin’ like a spoiled lil’ girl, Kizzy and we both know I don’t reward bad behavior.”

Kizzy began to squirm, her breath hitching. The thrill of his aggression hit her instantly turning her legs to jelly.

“I just wanted you…” she whimpered, her voice softening, becoming small and pleading.

“You wanted me? Then use your words “ Smoke commanded, his grip on her wrists tightening just enough to remind her that he owned every inch of her. Smoke pressed his lower body forward, grinding his big, fat dick right against her stomach. He was letting her feel the massive, curved length of him pulsing through the fabric. “Ask me properly. Like a big girl. Tell me exactly what you need, and tell me why you deserve it after bein’ so fuckin’ rude.”

Kizzy was in heat. She had been circling him for the last twenty minutes. She could feel the throb between her thighs, pussy dripping a steady stream of slickness that made the lace uncomfortable against her clit. She didn’t want to wait for him to finish cleaning his Glock she wanted that thick, curved dick inside her NOW.

The reaction was instantaneous.

Kizzy blinked, chest heaving, eyes wide and glazed with lust. “Daddy, I just—”

Smoke looked down at her, his expression devoid of warmth. “You actin’ like a thirsty lil’ hoe, Kizzy. Where da fuck are your manners? You think you can just reach out and grab whatever you want whenever you feel a lil’ itch in your pussy?”

Kizzy whimpered, the degradation sending a fresh surge of wetness. “No, Daddy…”

“That’s a ‘no, Daddy’ for what?” Smoke growled, his grip tightening. “I asked you a question. Do you got manners, or do I need to teach you how to behave?”

“I…I don’t have manners.” Kizzy whispered, her voice trembling.

“Exactly. You just a hungry lil’ bitch,” Smoke muttered, his eyes darkening. He released her wrist only to slide his hand onto the back of her platinum-blonde hair, gripping the short strands and pulling her head back so she had to look up at him. “Now, since you wanna act like a brat, we gon’ do this properly. You gon’ ask me for what you want…and you gonna ask like a big girl, using your words…so I know how much you really need it.”

Kizzy swallowed hard, her plush lips parting. “Please…can I have it?”

Smoke’s face remained stone-cold. “Have what? Be specific. I don’t do vague. Tell me, what you craving, lil’ slut?”

“I…I want your dick.” She moaned, her body shaking.

“Your dick?” Smoke mocked a cruel smirk touching his lips. “Which part of it? You want the head? You want the whole fat length of it? Tell me how you want it, Kizzy. Do you want it in your mouth? Do you want it stretchin’ your tight, little pussy? Or do you want me to shove it up your ass ‘til you can’t walk?”

Kizzy gasped, her eyelids fluttering, teeth chewing into her bottom lip. “I want it all…I want your big..fat…dick in my pussy, Daddy. Please.”

“Is that all?” Smoke asked, his voice dropping an octave, becoming a velvety threat. “You just want it ‘in’ you? You want me to just slide it in and be done wit’ it? Or do you want me to fuck you ‘til you dumb? Want me to treat you like the lil’ hoe you is? Want me to stretch you out ‘til you leakin’ my cum from every fuckin’ hole?”

“Yes! Yes—please.” She cried out, hips instinctively bucking against him, trying to get closer to him.

“Slow down.” Smoke commanded, his voice snapping her back to attention. “I ain’t tell you to move. Now…answer me truthfully…are you so dick-hungry that you’d do anything I tell you to do just to get a taste? Would you let me use you however I want…for as long as I want…just for one inch of this dick?”

“I’ll do anything, Daddy.” Kizzy sobbed, voice thick with arousal. “I’m your down bitch, Daddy. Please…I’m so wet…I need you.”

Smoke leaned back, his eyes scanning her trembling form from her heaving breasts to the soaked lace of her teddy.

When Annie met Elijah

Annie Durel met Elijah Moore in a lecture hall built for three hundred bodies, and somehow the cavernous space still managed to feel claustrophobic. It was freshman year, Introduction to Psychology, eight o’clock in the morning. An hour so ungodly that Annie wondered if the university scheduled it that early on purpose as some kind of psychological experiment on sleep deprivation and human suffering.

The air inside smelled of stale coffee, the damp wool of hoodies that hadn’t quite dried from the previous night’s rain, and the sharp, chemical bite of whatever industrial cleaner the janitorial staff deployed before dawn. Students shuffled in like zombies freshly risen, backpacks slung over one shoulder, orientation-week optimism already fraying at the edges. A few sat with bright eyes and open laptops, ready to absorb wisdom. Most looked like they were calculating how many minutes they could sleep with their eyes open. 

Annie chose the second row.

Not the front—that was for try-hards and future teaching assistants. The second row struck the perfect balance: visible enough to signal seriousness, distant enough to preserve dignity. It was the seat of someone who had already printed the syllabus, color-coded the calendar, and flagged every major assignment in three different highlighters. Her laptop sat open before her like a shield, a spiral notebook beside it, and three pens; blue, black, and neon pink, lined up with military precision along the desk’s edge. Order was Annie’s armor. Even when life refused to cooperate, she could at least control the small rectangle of space in front of her.

People mistook that for confidence. Sometimes it was. Most times it was fear wearing lip gloss and good posture.

Elijah Moore, by contrast, belonged to the back.

For the first few weeks she barely registered him. He was simply there, like the faded motivational poster on the far wall or the faint hum of the ventilation system, part of the architecture rather than a participant. He arrived exactly on time, never bursting through the doors with excuses or drama. He claimed roughly the same seat each class, pulled out a single notebook and one black pen, and then… listened.

Not the performative listening most students offered half an ear tuned to the professor while the other half rehearsed their own clever interjections. Elijah listened like the words might bruise him if he wasn’t careful. Like every sentence had to justify its existence before he granted it space in his mind. His expression rarely changed, but there was a quiet gravity to him, a sense that he was weighing the lecture against some private, internal scale the rest of them couldn’t see.

The moment he truly entered Annie’s awareness came three weeks into the semester.

Dr. Mercer, a wiry man with wild eyebrows and a passion for Socratic torture, posed one of his signature questions. “Do people truly choose who they become?” The room stirred instantly. Abstract debates before breakfast were catnip to freshmen. Hands shot up like weeds. Biology. Environment. Trauma. Privilege. The usual chorus.

Annie waited, then raised her own hand.

“Ms. Durel.”

She straightened, voice clear. “Circumstance shapes us, obviously. But it doesn’t get the final word. At some point we have to choose. Otherwise personal responsibility is meaningless.”

Murmurs of agreement rippled through the second and third rows. A small glow of satisfaction warmed her chest. She had spoken well, measured, thoughtful, the kind of answer that earned quiet respect.

Then a low voice drifted from the back of the hall.

“Most people only think they’re choosing.”

Annie turned before she could stop herself. He wasn’t even looking at her. His gaze rested on Dr. Mercer, one arm draped casually over the narrow desk attached to his seat. His posture was relaxed but not sloppy, defensive, or trying to score points. It was… certain.

Dr. Mercer’s eyes lit up with academic delight. “Mr. Moore.”

Elijah leaned back slightly. “If you grow up in survival mode, most of what you call choice is just reaction. You’re picking between bad options inside a cage you didn’t build. That doesn’t make you free.”

The lecture hall quieted. Even the perpetual fidgeters stilled.

Annie narrowed her eyes. “So nobody’s responsible for anything?” His gaze slid to her then, slow and deliberate. For the first time, Elijah Moore really looked at her. It wasn’t a passing glance. It was a look of dark eyes— steady and unnervingly patient. As if he were seeing past the second-row armor, the highlighters, and the carefully cultivated certainty.

“That’s not what I said.”

“That’s what it sounded like,” she shot back.

A corner of his eyebrow lifted, almost imperceptibly. “Then you heard what you wanted to hear.”

Soft laughter scattered across the room like startled birds. Annie’s spine went rigid. Heat rose in her cheeks. She disliked him immediately, with the clean, decisive snap of a closing book.

The lecture continued. Annie told herself she was finished with that arrogant asshole. For once, all semester, the second row felt a little less safe. A little less controlled. She opened her notebook. Underlined three sentences she already understood. Wrote half a page of notes she wouldn’t remember taking. Every few minutes, though, her gaze strayed to the back row. She only wanted another chance to prove him wrong.

Which, she would later understand, had always been the first stage of loving him.

After class, Annie told herself she wasn’t following him. They simply happened to leave through the same doors, walk across the same quad, and head toward the same student center. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she still had three rebuttals she hadn’t gotten to make.

“You know,” she called after him, “for somebody who barely talks, you got a whole lotta opinions.”

Elijah looked over one shoulder. “You chased me down just to tell me that?”

“I didn’t chase you.”

“Sure.”

Annie frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Means you’ve been thinkin’ ’bout my argument.” He stopped walking and looked at her. “’Bout me.”

She hated that he sounded so certain. She hated even more that he was right.

Annie had walked out of that lecture hall convinced Elijah Moore was the most irritating man she’d ever met. She had no way of knowing she’d spend the next four years arguing with him.

Or the next fifteen loving him.

Till Death Do Us Part

They graduated two months apart.

Annie crossed the stage first, her robe swishing against her ankles, the tassel on her cap swinging like a metronome keeping time to a future she had spent four years meticulously planning. Elijah sat through the entire ceremony in the bleachers, pretending he wasn’t watching for her. He failed spectacularly. Every time the announcer called a name, his gaze flicked towards the procession, searching.

He spotted her the moment she stepped off the stage. He was waiting exactly where she’d expected to find him—tall, composed, arms folded across his chest, looking entirely too pleased with himself for a man who hadn’t yet earned his own degree. Annie saw him immediately. Something warm and inevitable pulled her straight toward him through the crowd.

“You act like you graduated,” she said, smiling.

“I survived listenin’ to your family yell your name for three hours. I deserve somethin’.”

“My family loves me.”

“They loud.”

“You knew that before we started dating.”

“I thought they was performin’.”

Annie laughed, the sound bright and unrestrained. Elijah smiled that slow, quiet smile that always seemed to start somewhere deep in his chest before it reached his mouth. And just like that, another milestone folded itself into the growing collection of memories they would carry together, dog-eared and treasured.

The year after college arrived like a sudden wind, full of constant movement. Jobs. Applications. Interviews. Rent checks written with trembling hope. Student loans that loomed like storm clouds. Dreams that had once felt weightless now demanded cash, strategy, and an almost embarrassing amount of grit.

They were young enough to believe hard work could solve almost anything, and fortunate enough that, for a while, they weren’t entirely wrong.

Elijah began in corporate strategy, a world of spreadsheets and conference rooms that tested his patience daily. Annie started building her consulting business one nervous client at a time, working from coffee shops and the corner of their tiny living room. Neither path came wrapped in glamour. Both demanded long hours that bled into nights.

Most evenings found them side by side at their small kitchen table, laptops open, takeout containers pushed to the side, comparing problems neither of them fully understood yet. Sometimes they worked in companionable silence, the only sounds being the clicking of keys and the distant hum of traffic outside.

They argued about ideas, passionate exchanges that left them both sharper. Sometimes Annie would talk through an upcoming presentation while Elijah pretended not to listen, eyes fixed on his own screen. Then, halfway through, he would quietly point out a flaw she hadn’t noticed. She would accuse him of eavesdropping. He would remind her she had been talking loud as hell again.

It was their system. Annoying, effective, but theirs.

Two years after graduation, they got married.

The wedding was small because their bank account demanded it. Annie made it beautiful anyway. Flowers spilled everywhere, far too many, according to every budget-conscious person involved except Annie herself. The venue was modest, the guest list manageable, the budget stretched thin enough to snap. 

None of it mattered in the end.

The only thing Annie remembered clearly was standing at the back of the processional, looking at Elijah. Everything else blurred: the music, the guests, the decorations, even the flowers she had obsessed over for months. All she could see was him, calm, certain, watching her like he still couldn’t quite believe she was real.

She cried before she even reached the altar. Not delicate, cinematic tears. Real ones. The kind that arrived without permission and threatened to ruin the makeup her mother had spent an hour perfecting. When she finally stood before him, she looked up and froze.

His eyes were wet.

“Are you crying?” she whispered.

“No.”

“You are.”

“No, I ain’t.”

“Elijah.”

“Face forward, Woman.”

She laughed through the tears. The officiant paused, smiling. Their families laughed too, warm and rowdy. When it came time for the vows, Elijah said “yes” before the officiant had finished the question. The room erupted in delighted surprise. Annie squeezed his hands hard. He squeezed back, grounding her.

Their honeymoon lasted three days. That was all they could afford. Neither of them cared. At the time, three days felt like unimaginable luxury.

Their first apartment as husband and wife waited when they returned: uneven floors that creaked in protest, thin walls that carried every neighbor’s secrets, cabinets that stuck when the weather turned, and a refrigerator that hummed loudly enough to become part of the soundtrack of their life. The couple upstairs argued with such clocklike precision that Annie could practically set her watch by their fights. Annie complained about the apartment constantly. Then defended it fiercely whenever anyone else dared criticize it. 

Because it was theirs.

The first night, they ate takeout on the living room floor surrounded by half-unpacked boxes. Elijah spent nearly an hour assembling a bookshelf, doing it wrong twice. Annie fixed it in twenty minutes and spent the next hour reminding him of that fact.

“You gonna mention this forever?” he asked.

“Sure am.”

“You somethin’ else.”

Annie only grinned and pointed to herself with a theatrical flourish. His hand shot out the moment she walked past, pulling her into his lap before she could squeak in protest.

“Boy.”

“No.”

“Elijah.”

“No.”

She laughed despite herself. He kissed her, and the argument ended the way most of their arguments ended in those days with neither person winning, and neither particularly caring.

Life wasn’t easy. Money stayed tight. Every purchase required negotiation. Every bill required careful planning. They learned how far leftovers could stretch, which expenses truly mattered, and that loving someone and learning to live with them were related, but distinctly different skills. They argued about dishes left in the sink, mismatched schedules, budgets that refused to balance, and whose turn it was to call the perpetually unresponsive maintenance man. Annie hated how quiet Elijah became when something weighed on him. Elijah hated how Annie pushed harder the moment she sensed him retreating.

Sometimes they hurt each other without meaning to. Sometimes they misunderstood. Sometimes they got it spectacularly wrong.

But they came back. 

Always.

That was what Annie remembered most when she looked back on those years, not perfection, ease, or constant romance. The returning. No matter how frustrating the fight, how exhausting the week, or how little money sat in their checking account, they always found their way back to each other.

In the softer, private corners of their life, Annie had taken to calling Smoke: Elijah-Smoke.

It had started as a joke sometime in college. Everyone else seemed to divide him neatly into two people. Elijah was the name professors used, the quiet boy in the back of the lecture hall with one notebook and too many opinions. Smoke belonged to everybody else—the name his brother called across crowded rooms, the one his friends knew, the version of him that carried a little more edge.

Annie had decided early that she wasn’t choosing.

“You Elijah or Smoke today?” she’d asked him once after he’d spent twenty minutes helping her study, then threatened to throw her laptop out the window when she complained about SPSS for the sixth time.

He’d looked at her like the question was ridiculous. “I’m me.”

“Okay. Elijah-Smoke.”

His face had gone completely blank.

“That sounds stupid.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“It absolutely do.”

She’d grinned. “Too late. That’s your name now.”

It should have disappeared with all the other ridiculous things they’d said to each other in college. Instead, it stayed. Over the years, Elijah-Smoke became something Annie only called him when they were alone. Sometimes teasing. Sometimes affectionate. Other times murmured against his chest when they were half asleep. It belonged to kitchens after midnight, tangled sheets, private jokes, and conversations nobody else was allowed to hear.

The world knew Elijah Moore. The people who loved him longest knew Smoke. But Annie had always known both.

Elijah-Smoke meant all of him. And, more importantly, it meant he was hers.

Success arrived slowly. 

Then all at once.

Elijah climbed quickly through the ranks. Promotions followed one after another. Rooms that once ignored him began to listen. People who had underestimated him learned not to make that mistake twice. Annie built steadily too. One client became three, then ten. Workshops turned into speaking engagements. Speaking engagements turned into waitlists. Women began stopping her after events, eyes bright to tell her she had finally given language to feelings they had carried for years, but never knew how to name.

Neither achievement belonged entirely to one person. Elijah reviewed contracts when Annie was too exhausted to focus. Annie listened to his practice presentations before board meetings. He challenged her thinking. She challenged him. He invested in her—money, yes, but more importantly belief, time, and unwavering attention long before anyone else did.

Annie used to joke that he was her most annoying business partner. The truth was simpler and more profound: he was usually right. Success felt intimate then. Like building an altar together. Every late night, every sacrifice, every risk, every victory carried weight because they could still see each other clearly across all of it. Sometimes she would be putting dishes away and suddenly find herself pinned gently between the counter and Elijah’s chest.

“Move.”

“No.”

“Elijah.”

“No.”

“I have things to do.”

“So do I.”

“Then why are you bothering me?”

His answer was always the same: a slight shrug, a lingering kiss, his hand settling warm against her waist. Because I missed you. As if twenty minutes apart had been too long.

Moments like that happened constantly. Back then, Annie never questioned whether Elijah wanted her. The answer lived everywhere—not just in passionate nights or grand gestures, but in the thousand tiny interruptions that filled ordinary days.

It lived in the smaller moments: the way his eyes followed her when she entered a room, the way his hand automatically found her waist as they passed each other in hallways, the way he would interrupt his own work just to steal a kiss before returning to whatever spreadsheet demanded his attention.

At the time, Annie thought it would always be like that. Not always the same. People changed, life changed, responsibilities multiplied— but she believed the center would hold. That the man who couldn’t walk past her without touching her would always find a reason to reach. That the woman who still smiled every time he walked through the door would always feel seen.

She didn’t know then how quietly distance could grow between two people.  Or how easy it was to mistake building a life together for nurturing the marriage itself.

First Comes Love. Then Comes Marriage. Then Comes…

The first baby arrived three years into the marriage.

Annie spent most of her pregnancy pretending she wasn’t nervous. Not because she feared something would go wrong—she had read enough to know the statistics were on their side, but because she liked preparation, plans, and certainty. Childbirth, however, seemed specifically engineered to mock all three with ruthless efficiency.

By the eighth month, she had amassed enough books to stock her own parenting section at a bookstore. Lists proliferated across the refrigerator, the bathroom mirror, and the inside of kitchen cabinets. The hospital bag sat packed and ready by the front door nearly six weeks early, because Annie refused to be caught unprepared for the single most unpredictable event of her life.

He found the entire production hilarious.

“You know the baby don’t care about your spreadsheets, right?”

Annie glared at him from the couch, one hand resting protectively on the swell of her belly. “The baby will care when we forget something important. Like diapers.”

“The hospital got diapers.”

“What if they don’t?”

He stared at her. 

She stared back.

“The hospital?” he repeated.

“You never know.”

“Woman.”

“I’m just sayin’.”

Smoke laughed so hard he nearly spilled his coffee.

Three weeks later, she went into labor. Twenty-one hours after that, she threatened to divorce him. 

Twice. 

The nurse laughed. 

Smoke didn’t. Annie looked entirely too serious.

Their son arrived just after sunrise. One loud, indignant cry. One tiny fist waving defiantly at the world. One look at that wrinkled little face pressed against Annie’s bare chest, and the entire room seemed to turn on its axis. Annie burst into tears. The ugly kind. The kind that rose from somewhere so deep inside her that stopping them felt impossible. Smoke stood beside the bed, simply staring, transfixed. The baby wrapped his impossibly small hand around one of Smoke’s fingers. Annie looked up through her tears.

“You cryin’?”

“Nah.”

“You are.”

“I’m not.”

The tears tracking down his cheeks suggested otherwise.

They named him Elijah Jr. “E.J.” for short. Smoke insisted nobody was calling him Junior. Annie informed him that after twenty-one hours of labor, she would call their son whatever she pleased. The argument lasted three days. E.J. ignored both of them completely.

Two years later came Ethan. Where E.J. launched himself through life at full speed, Ethan approached everything with caution and curiosity. He watched first. Thought first. Asked questions until adults regretted opening their mouths. If E.J. had inherited Annie’s confidence and Smoke’s stubbornness, Ethan had inherited their shared tendency to overthink absolutely everything.

The twins arrived three years after that: Anaëlle Elise and Arielle Elaine. Six weeks early. Tiny. Chocolate. Perfect. And determined to take over everyone’s lives. The boys adored them, at least in theory. In reality, both spent the first month looking vaguely betrayed by the sheer volume of attention two babies required. The twins didn’t seem concerned. They simply settled into the family as though they had always belonged there.

Life became louder after that. Fuller. Messier. The kind of beautiful chaos that left toys scattered in hallways and crayons in unexpected places. Somehow every room in the house belonged to the children. Even the ones specifically designated as adult spaces. Especially those.

The life they had once dreamed about quietly became the life they were living. Promotions turned into executive titles. Annie’s calendar filled months in advance with keynote speeches, leadership retreats, and consulting contracts she never imagined commanding. Elijah’s name carried weight in boardrooms now. Annie’s carried weight on conference stages. The tiny apartment gave way to a house with enough bedrooms for everyone, then a backyard the children treated like their own kingdom.

Success bought them conveniences they never could have afforded in those early years. A part-time nanny on weekdays when work demanded more than either of them could give. Family vacations that started as weekend road trips before eventually becoming flights to beaches the children still talk about years later. Housekeepers every other Friday because neither of them wanted to spend precious weekends scrubbing bathrooms. 

But the one thing they refused to outsource was being parents.

Homework still happened at the kitchen table. Bedtime stories were still read by familiar voices. Saturday mornings belonged to pancakes, cartoons, and whichever child climbed into their bed first. If one of the kids had a recital, a game, or an awards ceremony, Annie and Elijah were usually sitting in the front row, embarrassing them with applause.

The years blurred together in a whirlwind of basketball games and dance recitals, science fairs and art projects spread across the dining room table. Birthday parties, field trips, parent-teacher conferences, homework battles, lost shoes, forgotten permission slips, and middle-of-the-night fevers. The ordinary, relentless chaos of raising children. Some days felt endless. Most disappeared before either Annie or Smoke could properly appreciate them.

One Saturday afternoon, Annie walked into the living room and found Smoke sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing a plastic tiara. For a minute she simply stared. Anaëlle aka Elle or Ellie, adjusted a blanket cape around his shoulders with the solemn focus of someone preparing royalty for an important event. Arielle aka Ari stood nearby, gripping a sparkly wand like a scepter.

Smoke looked up, entirely unbothered. “The king has no obligation to explain himself.”

Annie folded her arms, fighting a smile. “The king got glitter in his beard.”

The twins gasped in unison. Smoke immediately reached for his face. The girls collapsed into delighted laughter. Annie laughed so hard she had to sit down on the couch. Even E.J., who had reached the age where he found family embarrassing on principle, couldn’t completely hide his smile. The moment lasted maybe five minutes. Nothing important happened. Nobody learned a grand lesson. No milestone was officially reached. Yet years later, it would become one of Annie’s favorite memories, not because it was extraordinary, but because it wasn’t. It was ordinary. Wonderfully, perfectly… ordinary. A moment that seemed insignificant while it was happening, but became precious only in retrospect.

Life felt full then. The kind of full that exhausted you and fulfilled you in equal measure. The laundry never ended. The dishwasher never stayed empty for long. Someone always needed a ride somewhere, needed help with homework. And someone always needed a costume, a poster board, a permission slip, or a ride across town with fifteen minutes’ notice. The house was constantly loud. Doors opening and closing. Footsteps thundering up and down stairs. Music playing from different rooms. Voices overlapping in cheerful cacophony. Laughter drifting from one end of the house to the other.

And somehow, through all of it, Annie and Smoke remained a team. Connected. The children knew it too. The boys rolled their eyes whenever Smoke kissed Annie in the kitchen. The twins made dramatic gagging noises whenever they caught their parents cuddling on the couch. Neither reaction slowed them down in the slightest. 

By then, affection had become part of the atmosphere of the house, as normal as the furniture, as expected as family dinner. Sometimes Annie would be making lunch and suddenly feel Smoke behind her. A hand settling warm against her waist. A kiss pressed against her temple. 

No explanation or reason. Just because.

One afternoon Anaëlle walked into the kitchen, saw her father leaning against the counter with his arms around Annie, and immediately turned around.

“Nope.”

Smoke laughed. “Where you goin’?”

“Somewhere else.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause y’all bein’ weird.”

“We’re married.”

“I know.” Anaëlle shuddered dramatically. “Still weird.”

Annie laughed until she cried. At the time, she thought those moments would always be there. Not the children—they would grow up. That was inevitable. Not the house, the schedules, or the endless stream of activities. She knew those things would change. What Annie believed would remain was the feeling underneath it all. The certainty. The certainty that no matter how loud life became, she and Elijah would always find each other inside the noise. That no matter how many demands pulled at them from different directions, they would remain each other’s place to rest.

Looking back, she could see that was the part she’d taken for granted. Not his love. Never his love. 

The visibility of it. 

The way it once moved through every room with them. Openly. Effortlessly. Like breathing. 

Like home.

Adeline

By the time Annie handed him the pregnancy test, Smoke had convinced himself their family was complete. They hadn’t ever sat down and formally decided they were done. Their sex life was active and frequent. They made love whenever, wherever. So it wasn’t like they were preventing a pregnancy from happening.

The conversation had arisen over the years the way most conversations do in a long marriage—casually, between grocery lists and basketball practices, while folding laundry or climbing into bed at the end of an exhausting day. They had talked around it more than they had talked about it. Four children felt like a lot. A beautiful lot. A loud, vibrant, overwhelming lot.

Life had finally settled into something familiar and manageable. E.J. was old enough to spend entire afternoons outside with a football in his hand. Ethan had reached the age where every answer led to three more questions. The twins no longer appeared in their bedroom at two in the morning because of a nightmare or a thunderstorm. Now, it felt like they were finally coming up for air.

Then Annie handed him the test.

Smoke stood in the kitchen staring at it. Then at her. Then back at the test. The dishwasher hummed quietly behind him. Sunlight spilled through the windows above the sink, warm and ordinary. Upstairs, one of the kids was arguing over a charger. An ordinary afternoon. And right there in the middle of it, everything changed. A laugh escaped him before he could stop it. It wasn’t funny, but somehow, after thirteen years of marriage and four children and more responsibilities than either of them could count, his wife had managed to surprise him completely.

“You for real, right now?”

Annie laughed, the nervousness she’d been carrying dissolved from her face. 

“Apparently.”

Smoke looked at the test again. Then back at her. Then shook his head. A smile spread slowly across his face—disbelieving, happy, a little terrified. 

“You serious?”

Annie laughed. “I don’t know how else to tell you we’re having a baby.”

He was moving before he even realized it. His hands found her waist, then her shoulders, then her face, as if he couldn’t decide where he wanted to hold her. 

Annie laughed harder.

“Elijah-Smoke.”

“I’m just checkin’.”

“You think I’m lyin’?”

“No.” His smile widened. “I think I’m in shock.”

Annie saw something boyish in him. Something younger. She hadn’t known she’d missed that. He kissed her softly at first, then again. And when he pulled back, she was smiling at him in that familiar way that always made him feel nineteen years old and completely incapable of acting like a sensible adult.

That night they sat on the kitchen floor long after the children had gone to bed. The conversation started with practical things. Bedrooms. Schedules. Car seats. School drop-offs. Whether they were too old to start over. The answer changed depending on which one of them was speaking. Eventually the conversation changed the way conversations used to—from babies to memories, from memories to college, from college to the apartment with uneven floors and broken cabinets, from there to everything they had built since.

At some point Annie curled against his side. His arm settled around her shoulders. And Smoke thought of something he had not allowed himself to think in a very long time. He missed this. This. The feeling of sitting beside his wife with nowhere else to be. No meetings, deadlines, phones vibrating. 

Just conversation. 

Just them. 

The realization settled quietly into his chest. Because he couldn’t remember the last time they’d done it.

The weeks that followed felt lighter somehow. Life was still life. The children still had activities. Work still demanded more time than either of them wanted to give. But something had shifted. Smoke started reaching for Annie again without thinking. 

A hand on her waist as he walked past. A kiss against her shoulder while she cooked. Pulling her into his lap while she complained she had work to finish. The old rhythms returned so naturally that neither of them stopped to question it.

One evening he came home to find the twins sitting cross-legged on the living room floor surrounded by baby name books. He knew he was in trouble.

“We got suggestions,” Anaëlle announced.

Smoke sighed. Of course they did.

For the next thirty minutes, the girls presented names with the seriousness of corporate executives delivering quarterly projections. Most were terrible. A few were concerning. One appeared to come from a cartoon horse. By the end, Annie was laughing so hard she could barely breathe. The girls looked deeply offended by their lack of vision.

For a little while, the house felt exactly the way Smoke wanted it to feel forever. Warm, safe, and alive.

Later that night Annie stood in the doorway of what would eventually become the nursery. The room was empty. Just four walls and a window. Smoke found her standing there with one hand resting gently against her stomach. “What you thinkin’ about?”

She looked over her shoulder, then back into the room.  “Everything.”

He understood that. Because he was too. He stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder. Together they looked into the empty room, already imagining furniture, pictures, blankets, a crib, a future.

Neither of them knew how dangerous hope could be. Only that it felt good to have it again. So they kept planning. Kept dreaming. Kept loving a little girl they hadn’t met yet. 

A little girl they eventually named Adeline Evangeline Moore. 

Long before they knew they shouldn’t.

The appointment fell on a Wednesday. Smoke almost rescheduled it. His calendar had become a battlefield—board meetings, investors, calls, deadlines, a hundred things demanding his attention. 

Then Annie texted him: Don’t even think about it. 

A minute later another message appeared: I know that look.

Smoke smiled despite himself: What look?

Her response came quicky: The one where you convince yourself work is more important than seeing your child.

By two o’clock he was sitting beside her in an examination room. The room looked exactly like every other medical office he’d ever been inside. Neutral paint. Fluorescent lighting. A faint smell of disinfectant beneath recycled air. 

Nothing about it felt significant. Later he would think about that—how ordinary it had looked. How life-changing moments almost never announced themselves beforehand.

Annie sat beside him scrolling through nursery ideas while they waited. For the past week she’d fallen down a rabbit hole of paint colors, rocking chairs, blankets, and furniture. The room that would become Adeline’s nursery already existed inside her imagination.

“You buying that chair?” Smoke asked.

Annie glanced up. “What chair?”

“The one you’ve been lookin’ at for three days.”

Her expression immediately turned guilty, then defensive, then guilty again. “I haven’t decided.”

“Oh you decided.”

“I’m still considering my options.”

Smoke laughed. “You already picked the chair.”

She pointed at him. “I don’t like your tone.”

He smiled. She smiled back.

A few minutes later the technician entered. Routine questions followed. Routine answers. The kind of appointment nobody remembers because it feels so normal while it’s happening. Smoke reached for Annie’s hand without thinking. She laced their fingers together automatically.

At first nothing seemed unusual. Then the technician stopped talking. The conversation simply faded away. The quiet stretched. Then stretched longer. Annie noticed first. He felt it in the way her fingers tightened around his hand.

“Everything okay?”

The technician smiled—a polite smile. Professional. Careful. “I’m going to get the doctor.”

The technician’s silence had stretched too long. Smoke felt it in the sudden tension of Annie’s fingers laced through his, in the way the sterile room seemed to shrink around them. 

The doctor arrived a few minutes later. His expression composed, but weighted with the kind of practiced gentleness that never quite masked the gravity underneath.

Smoke remembered him introducing himself. He would also remember thinking it was strange because they had already met before. He’s been their OBGYN since E.J. Later, he would understand that people often walked around difficult conversations before stepping into them.

The doctor spoke carefully, pulling up the ultrasound images on the screen. There was no heartbeat… No movement. The measurements, the development, everything had simply stopped. Adeline had passed away sometime in the days leading up to the appointment. 

A fetal demise, the doctor called it, his voice low and steady as he explained the medical realities they never wanted to learn. It happened sometimes, even in otherwise healthy pregnancies. There was no clear cause visible on the scan, no cord accident they could pinpoint at that moment, no obvious placental failure, though further testing after delivery might reveal more. For now, it was simply that her heart had stopped beating. 

Adeline Evangeline Moore was gone.

Annie’s breath caught, a small, sharp sound that cut through the quiet hum of the machine. Smoke sat frozen beside her, the words landing like stones dropped into still water, ripples spreading outward, distorting everything. The future they had sketched in quiet conversations, the nursery taking shape at home and in Annie’s mind. The names the twins had debated with such earnestness. 

It all fractured in the space of a few sentences.

They asked questions. Annie’s voice was strong at first, then weaker. Smoke held her hand tighter, but his own thoughts fractured. How? When? Why now, after everything had felt like a second chance? 

The doctor answered what he could— it was likely early in the process, detected at this routine scan. They would induce labor to deliver the baby, a procedure Annie would have to endure in the coming days. There were options for support, for testing, for grief counseling. Words that felt hollow against the weight of what they meant.

The future they had been building disappeared before either of them fully understood it had existed. Smoke looked at Annie. She was staring at the screen, at the place where hope had lived only a few moments earlier. 

And since he’d known Annie, he had absolutely no idea how to help.

The drive home blurred. Annie stared out the window at the passing world that refused to pause. Smoke kept his eyes on the road, knuckles white on the steering wheel, replaying the grainy image on the screen, the stillness where there should have been life. No dramatic warning. No pain that announced itself. 

Just absence… Quiet, merciless absence.

When they pulled into the driveway, the children were already home. The house stood exactly where it always had. A basketball near the garage. Sidewalk chalk on the front steps. Evidence of a future that had continued moving while theirs stopped.

Inside, the noise hit him immediately. Normally he loved it. That afternoon it made his chest ache.

“Daddy!” Arielle looked up first, then smiled. “Did you see Addy?”

The question landed like a punch. Smoke felt Annie freeze beside him. Only for a second. A tiny pause most people wouldn’t have noticed. 

He did. 

The conversation that followed became one of the hardest moments of his life. Harder than boardrooms, professional failures, and any challenge he had ever faced. Because there was no protecting them from it. No version of the story that hurt less. Only the truth.

The girls cried first. Then the boys. By bedtime the entire house felt different. Quieter. Like it was missing something. Like everyone had unconsciously lowered their voices.

That night Smoke climbed into bed and found Annie already lying there. An ultrasound picture rested on the nightstand. His eyes found it. A grainy collection of shadows. Nothing extraordinary to anyone else. Everything to them. He reached across the mattress and rested his hand on her shoulder. Annie didn’t pull away. She didn’t move closer either. The distance remained. Not physical. Something else. 

Something neither of them knew how to cross.

The induction happened two days later. Smoke remembered almost none of it in order. Only pieces. Annie squeezing his hand until his fingers went numb. The unbearable quiet that followed. The nurse asked, gently, whether they wanted more time.

Annie did.

She held Adeline for nearly an hour, tracing tiny fingers that looked impossibly complete. “Look,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “She has your hands.”

Smoke looked. She did. Long fingers. Tiny fingernails.

Perfect.

He’d spent his entire life believing fathers were supposed to protect their children. Standing beside that hospital bed, he had never felt more useless.

The days that followed blurred into a fog of arrangements and condolences. The ultrasound picture on the nightstand became both talisman and wound. Annie spoke of Adeline often in the weeks after, weaving her into the fabric of their days as if naming her presence could keep some part of her alive. 

Smoke listened, nodded, held her when the tears came. But inside, the helplessness gnawed at him. 

At first, Smoke did everything he knew how to do. He canceled meetings. Slept beside her during the day when she couldn’t face getting out of bed. Heated food neither of them ate. Held her through crying spells that lasted until dawn.

He tried. God, he tried.

But grief refused to behave like every other problem he’d ever solved. There was nothing to solve. Nothing to fix. Nothing he could build that would give them their daughter back.

So… distance grew. Annie carried the loss openly, a mother mourning the child she had already named. Smoke carried it inward, retreating to the one place where effort still yielded results.

Work.

One evening Annie found him in his office long after the children had gone to bed. He was staring at a spreadsheet without really seeing it. She stood in the doorway for a moment before speaking.

“Can you come sit with me?”

Smoke looked up. “Give me ten minutes.”

He meant it. He truly did.

Annie nodded. “Okay.”

By the time he walked upstairs, the bedroom lamp was off. She was lying on her side, awake, pretending to be asleep. Smoke kissed her forehead before climbing into bed beside her.

Neither of them said a word.

For Smoke—work had answers, solutions, and rewarded effort. 

Grief didn’t. 

Annie wasn’t asking him to fix her pain. She only wanted him to sit beside her in it. 

And soon—Annie stopped asking.

By the time he understood the difference, the distance between them had already begun to grow.

Everything We Asked For

The first time Smoke knew something was wrong, it wasn’t because Annie said anything. It was because she forgot a meeting.

In thirteen years together, Annie forgetting something was rare enough to be memorable. Forgetting something important was almost unheard of. It came on a Tuesday afternoon while Smoke sat in a conference room halfway through a budget review. His phone vibrated once against the polished table. Then again. Then a third time. Ordinarily he would’ve ignored it, but the screen lit up with Annie’s name.

He excused himself from the meeting and stepped into the hallway before returning the call. She answered on the second ring. “Hey.”

Something in her voice immediately caught his attention. Exhaustion. The kind that settled deep in your bones, the kind that sleep didn’t seem capable of fixing.

“You alright?”

A pause. Then a small, tired laugh. “Apparently not.”

Smoke frowned, leaning against the cool wall. “What happened?”

“I forgot.”

“Forgot what?”

Another pause. 

“My keynote.”

For a moment he thought he’d misheard her. “You forgot your keynote?”

“I forgot my keynote.”

The conference had been scheduled for months. Annie had prepared for it for weeks. Presentations, notes, practice sessions, the kind of preparation she normally approached with military precision. 

And somehow she had missed it entirely.

Smoke closed his eyes briefly. “Baby.”

“I know.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

The answer bothered him, because Annie always knew. Even when things went wrong, she usually knew why. This time she didn’t. Or maybe she couldn’t explain it.

By the time he got home that evening, she had already moved on from the conversation, at least outwardly. The children were scattered throughout the house: E.J. At practice, Ethan occupied the kitchen island with homework, the twins transforming the dining room into an art studio. Everything looked normal. But Smoke couldn’t stop thinking about the phone call.

Over the next several weeks, he started noticing things. Little things. Annie skipped meals. Forgot emails. Lost track of appointments. Nothing catastrophic or alarming, but it was enough for him.

One night he found her asleep on top of the comforter before nine o’clock. The lamp remained on. Her laptop sat open beside her. Reading glasses had slipped sideways across her face. Smoke stood in the doorway looking at her. The house was quiet. The children were asleep. Rain tapped softly against the windows. Annie looked exhausted, not just physically, but something deeper. The sight lodged itself somewhere beneath his ribs.

Three weeks later, Annie walked into the kitchen and found a woman sitting at the island. The woman stood promptly. She looked professional, polished, and friendly.

“Mrs. Moore. Nice to finally meet you.”

Annie stopped, coffee mug halfway to her mouth. She looked at Smoke, then back at the woman, then back at Smoke. “Who is this?”

Smoke glanced up from his laptop. “Good morning.”

“Elijah.”

He hid a smile. “What?”

“Who is this?”

The woman extended her hand. “I’m Danielle.”

Annie shook it automatically, still looking confused. And still looking at Smoke. 

Danielle smiled. “I’m your new house manager.”

Silence.

Smoke watched Annie process the sentence. The blinking started first. Then the frown. 

“What do you mean, house manager?”

Smoke closed his laptop. “The kids. The schedules. The activities. The house.”

“Elijah.”

“You’ve got too much on your plate.”

Her expression softened, just slightly. Enough for him to know he’d touched the truth. 

He wasn’t wrong. 

The children were getting older, not easier. Her business continued growing. The household practically operated like a small corporation. And after Adeline… everything seemed to require twice the energy it once had.

“You don’t have to do everything yourself.”

Annie looked away. 

Smoke continued, because now he could see the solution clearly. Danielle would coordinate schedules, handle vendors, manage travel, track activities, carry some of the weight Annie had been carrying alone. 

By the end of the conversation Annie was smiling. Tired, but smiling. Then she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you.”

Relief settled inside him. 

Good. 

He’d fixed it. Or at least helped.

That was how problems had always made sense to him. Find the pressure point. Figure out what could be moved, changed, delegated, handled. Annie had too much on her plate, so he had taken something off it. Not everything. He knew better than to think one person could magically make her life easier overnight. But enough that maybe she could breathe again.

That evening he came home expecting Annie to look lighter. Less overwhelmed. Instead he found her sitting alone on the back patio watching the sun go down. A blanket draped across her lap. A cup of tea cooling beside her. She smiled when she saw him. Warm, genuine—and yet something still felt wrong.

Smoke sat beside her. Wrapped an arm around her shoulders when she leaned against him. They watched the backyard together in comfortable quiet. 

He tried to make sense of it. Danielle had already taken over half the things Annie had been struggling to keep straight. The calendar was organized. The house was handled. The children’s schedules no longer depended on Annie remembering every practice, appointment, form, and deadline herself.

She had help now.

So why did she still seem tired?

Not the kind of tired sleep fixed. Something else.

Smoke looked down when Annie tucked herself closer against his side. His hand moved absently along her arm. He could ask. The thought came and went.

She was resting against him. The house was handled. For once, nobody needed anything from either of them. Maybe this was what she needed too. A little time. Less pressure. Room to breathe.

So Smoke kissed the top of her head and held her closer.Everything around him looked exactly the way he’d always imagined it would. The house. The children. The life. He told himself the rest would follow.

It usually did.

So why did she still seem sad? Smoke didn’t have an answer… yet. He had reduced the workload. He had removed some of the pressure. Annie had told him herself that Danielle was exactly what they needed. So why wasn’t she lighter?

The answers didn’t arrive all at once. It arrived a few minutes here. An hour there. A canceled dinner. A postponed weekend. Tiny things that never seemed important enough to argue about on their own. Life simply kept asking for more of them, and they kept saying yes.

During those years, Elijah accepted another promotion. The title came with a corner office, a larger team, and responsibilities that seemed to multiply overnight. Annie’s business was flourishing too. Invitations to keynote conferences arrived months in advance. Hospitals sought her advice. Healthcare organizations paid for her expertise. The work they had spent years building was bearing fruit in abundance. They celebrated the promotion over takeout Chinese food because neither of them had the energy to go out.

“Look at us,” Annie said, lifting her carton in a mock toast.

Smoke bumped his against hers.

“We made it.”

He smiled. “We did.”

They meant every word. Neither of them knew that success had quietly changed what “making it” looked like.

At first it was temporary. A late meeting. An early flight. A client dinner. A conference that couldn’t be moved. They adapted the way they always had.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“I know.”

“I’ll be home tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

“Rain check?”

“Sure.”

The promises were always sincere. That was never the problem. And Smoke always tried to keep them. That mattered to him. If work took Thursday night, he protected Saturday morning. If a meeting ran through dinner, he brought Annie something home and climbed into bed beside her later, exhausted but there. If he missed something, he found another place to show up. That was what responsibility meant to him. You couldn’t always control what happened, but you could control what you did afterward.

Make a mistake. Correct it. Lose time. Find more. For years, that had worked. Or at least Smoke thought it had. Lately, every replacement seemed to need replacing.

Saturday morning became a call he couldn’t ignore. A weekend away got pushed because Annie had a conference. Dinner became eleven o’clock takeout eaten beside laptops because neither of them had finished working.

Nobody was doing anything wrong. That was what made it so difficult to recognize. There was no villain in their house. No affair. No secret. No one choosing not to come home. Just two people who kept promising each other the next available piece of themselves.

Smoke noticed it. He wasn’t oblivious. He knew Annie had grown quieter when he said he was running late. Knew her “okay” sounded different than it had years ago. Knew sometimes when he finally climbed into bed, she was already asleep—or pretending to be. And every time, the same uncomfortable pressure gathered beneath his ribs— He needed to do better. So he tried.

He moved meetings. Delegated more. Came home early only to find Annie working late herself. Planned dinners that got interrupted by children. Protected weekends that disappeared beneath games, recitals, family obligations, and the thousand ordinary demands of the life they had built together.

Sometimes it worked. They would have a good night. Laugh over dinner. Make love. Stay up talking longer than they should. And Smoke would lie beside her afterward thinking— There.

There you are.

There we are.

Then a week later Annie would look at him with that same sadness he still couldn’t identify, and something inside him would sink. Because he was trying. God, he was trying. But lately loving Annie felt like being handed a problem with half the information missing. He could see something hurt. He just couldn’t figure out where to put his hands. So he returned to what he understood. Handle what could be handled. Fix what could be fixed.

Keep moving.

Work had taught him that effort eventually produced an answer. He hadn’t yet accepted that marriage didn’t always work that way.

Danielle proved invaluable almost immediately, to Annie. The laundry stayed folded. Appointments stopped slipping through the cracks. The pantry remained stocked without either of them remembering who had gone grocery shopping. School forms appeared already signed. Birthday gifts were purchased before anyone knew a party was approaching. The machinery of their household ran more smoothly than it had in years.

Annie appreciated all of it. She appreciated Danielle. She appreciated Elijah for seeing she needed help. But every evening, after the children went to do homework, shower, or bedtime, Annie still found herself looking toward the front door.

Danielle had managed the house beautifully. But she couldn’t manage the one thing Annie missed most.

Elijah.

The corporate gala occupied the ballroom of one of the most expensive hotels in the city. Crystal chandeliers hung overhead. Champagne flowed freely. Every conversation sounded expensive. The moment they walked through the doors, people started pulling Elijah away—investors, executives, board members. People who wanted his opinion, his attention… his time.

Annie didn’t mind. She’d spent years watching him build this. Watching rooms underestimate him before eventually understanding who they were dealing with. Pride still swelled inside her every time it happened.

At one point she found herself standing near the bar waiting for another conversation to end. Across the room, Elijah stood surrounded by investors. Someone asked a question. He answered. Everyone listened. The group laughed. A woman touched his arm. A man clapped him on the shoulder. 

Elijah looked engaged. Present. 

Suddenly, Annie felt something she hadn’t expected. Recognition. There you are. It startled her how quickly she recognized him. He hadn’t really changed. That version of Elijah had never disappeared. She had simply stopped being the person who received the best of him.

The thought appeared before she could stop it. Her chest tightened. Because she hadn’t imagined this version of him. He was still there. The man who used to spend entire Saturdays talking to her about everything and nothing. The man who called during lunch just to hear her voice. The man who couldn’t walk past her in a hallway without touching her. 

He still existed. She was looking right at him. Which raised a question Annie didn’t know how to answer. 

If he was still here… why did she feel so far away from him?

The thought followed her home. Followed her upstairs and into bed. Elijah climbed beneath the covers nearly an hour later—tired, content, successful. He reached for her automatically. An arm around her waist. A kiss against her shoulder. 

Familiar. Comforting. The touch of a man who loved her. 

Smoke didn’t notice anything unusual. That would bother him later. To him, the night had been good. Annie looked beautiful. She had stood beside him while people congratulated him, smiled when he introduced her, laughed at the right moments, slipped her hand into his when they finally left the ballroom.

He knew he’d spent too much of the evening talking to other people. That came with these things. Annie understood that. She always had. And now she was here. His wife. Warm beneath his arm. Smoke kissed her shoulder and felt her relax against him.

Something inside him loosened.

There.

For all the meetings, flights, schedules, children, and responsibilities constantly demanding pieces of them, this remained. He reached for her. She let him. Smoke closed his eyes. He thought that meant they were okay.

Annie lay awake inside his arms and wondered when being loved by her husband had started feeling so different from being known by him. She then closed her eyes. For a moment she tried to force herself to enjoy the closeness. Then a thought settled quietly into her chest. She wasn’t grieving Adeline anymore. Not entirely. 

She would always grieve Adeline. Always wonder who her daughter would have become. But the ache she carried now felt larger than that. More complicated. Because somewhere along the way she had started grieving her marriage too. 

After that evening, Annie began noticing things she had once dismissed. Elijah answered work calls during Saturday breakfasts. He still came to football games, but sometimes left before the second half. He never forgot birthdays. Never missed anniversaries. And hadn’t stopped kissing her goodbye every morning. But the conversations grew shorter.

The moments grew smaller.

“Give me twenty minutes.”

“Let me finish this email.”

“I’ll be right there.”

He always came. Eventually.

Without either of them intending it, they had started fitting each other into the spaces left over after everything else had been taken care of.

Months later it followed her into a middle school auditorium. The showcase started at six. By five-thirty, Annie was already seated in the second row, Arielle had specifically asked her not to sit in the back. The auditorium buzzed with conversation. Parents filled rows of seats. Teachers moved through the aisles. Student artwork lined display boards around the room. Annie checked her phone. Nothing. 

Then, ten minutes before the program started, it buzzed: Running fifteen behind. Should still make it before they start. A familiar knot formed in her stomach. 

She typed back: Okay.

A minute later another message appeared: Tell Arielle I’m on my way.

Annie slipped the phone into her purse. Everything was fine. Fifteen minutes wasn’t a big deal. Life happened. People ran late.

The showcase began promptly at six. The principal welcomed everyone. Teachers spoke. Students were recognized. Annie kept one eye on the stage and the other on the doors. 

At 6:10 her phone buzzed again: Running later than expected. Sorry.

The knot tightened slightly. She wasn’t angry. She understood. There was always something understandable. Traffic. Meetings. Client— Reasons. 

Always reasons.

At 6:25 Arielle’s name was called. Annie sat up straighter. Applause filled the room. Arielle walked onto the stage calm, composed, far calmer than Annie felt. The artwork appeared on the large screen behind her. A watercolor painting. Beautiful. The audience applauded again. The art teacher spoke about creativity and storytelling. Arielle accepted her certificate, smiled politely, then looked towards the audience, her family, then towards the empty seat beside Annie.

The moment lasted less than a second. Most would have missed it. Annie didn’t. Something inside her cracked. Quietly. Like ice separating beneath the surface of water.

The program continued. Annie sat perfectly still. At 6:38 the doors finally opened. Elijah stepped inside breathless, suit jacket over one arm, flowers in the other. His eyes found his family. Relief crossed his face. He’d made it. At least partially. He slipped into the seat beside her.

“I’m sorry.”

The words were familiar. 

Too familiar. 

Annie looked at him. The flowers, the apology, the exhaustion. Sincerity. Because he meant it. That was the thing—he always meant it. Every apology. Every promise. Every attempt. He meant all of them. And sitting there beside him, Annie felt something she hadn’t expected. 

Nothing. 

No anger or disappointment. Only certainty. The thought arrived quietly. Without bitterness or accusation. 

Just certainty. 

After the showcase ended, Arielle spent twenty minutes answering questions about her painting. Smoke spent those same twenty minutes making up for lost time by praising her work, taking pictures, asking questions, and telling anyone who would listen how talented his daughter was. Arielle smiled through all of it. Happy, proud, and loved.

As they walked toward the parking lot later that evening, Arielle slipped her hand into Annie’s. “Daddy saw it.” The words came out soft. Hopeful. 

Not a question. 

A statement.

Annie looked down at her daughter. Then back at Elijah laughing with the boys several feet ahead. A good father. A good husband. A good man. Annie squeezed Arielle’s hand. “Yeah, baby. He did.”

Arielle smiled wider. 

Annie couldn’t remember the last time she had waited by the door believing Elijah would arrive exactly when he said he would.

Smoke drove home that night angry with himself. He should’ve made it. Not part of it. All of it.

He had blocked the time on his calendar. Told his assistant nothing got scheduled after four-thirty. Left the office with more than enough time. Then a call came. One call— That became three. By the time he walked into the auditorium carrying flowers, Arielle had already received her certificate.

Smoke had seen the disappointment on Annie’s face. He had seen something else too. Resignation. That bothered him more. Years ago, she would’ve said something before they even reached the car.

“You said you were going to be there.”

“I know.”

“You always say that.”

And then they would argue. Smoke would explain. Annie would tell him an explanation wasn’t an apology. He would get irritated because he had already apologized. She would get irritated because he was irritated. Eventually, they would find their way through it. Tonight, Annie hadn’t said anything. At first, Smoke was grateful. He didn’t have the energy for another argument about something he already knew he’d gotten wrong. He had been late. He felt like shit about it. Arielle had forgiven him. He had spent twenty minutes making sure his daughter knew exactly how proud he was of her.

There was nothing Annie could say that he hadn’t already said to himself. Still, driving behind her car toward home, he couldn’t stop thinking about how easily she had let it go. The thought should have worried him more than it did. Instead, part of him wondered if maybe they were learning.

Maybe after fifteen years they had finally reached the point where every mistake didn’t have to become an autopsy. Maybe Annie understood that being late didn’t mean he didn’t care. Maybe she knew that when he said he was trying, he meant it.

Because he was.

He had started declining more invitations. Handing meetings to other people. Blocking family events on his calendar months in advance. He ate dinner at home more often than he had the year before. His phone still rang too much, but sometimes he let it.

He noticed those things. He assumed Annie did too. And lately they weren’t fighting as much. She didn’t complain when he answered an email in bed. Didn’t ask when he planned to finish working. She didn’t remind him that he had promised to be downstairs twenty minutes ago. And she stopped appearing in his office doorway late at night asking him to come sit with her.

That last one should have told him everything. Instead, Smoke mistook the absence of conflict for peace. He thought maybe the worst of it had passed. Not fixed. He wasn’t naive enough to think fifteen years of marriage could be repaired because they’d gone a few weeks without an argument.

But better. They had to be better.

Didn’t they?

He was coming home. He was showing up. He was trying. And Annie had stopped telling him it wasn’t enough.

Smoke never considered that she had stopped telling him because saying it had become more exhausting than carrying it herself. He thought she had stopped asking because she finally trusted that he would come. 

Annie had stopped asking because she no longer expected him to. She hadn’t stopped loving him. She’d stopped expecting him. 

She couldn’t remember exactly when it had happened. There hadn’t been one argument. One betrayal. One decision. Just hundreds of ordinary days that slowly rearranged the center of their marriage until, without either of them noticing, they were standing beside one another instead of with one another.

Everything they had ever prayed for had finally become theirs. Somehow, in the process of building it, they had started losing each other.

Things We Never Said

The fight started over the thermostat. Annie would hate that fact, it was embarrassing, high-key ridiculous. When people imagined marriages ending, they pictured betrayal, affairs, screaming matches, or cruel words that could never be taken back. Nobody imagined a thermostat. Nobody imagined two exhausted people standing in a kitchen, arguing about things that were never really the problem.

They’d stopped arguing long before this night. Exhaustion had replaced conflict. It was easier to let another disappointment pass than to spend the little energy they had explaining why it hurt. Neither of them thought that peace and distance could sometimes look frighteningly alike.

The house was quiet that night. Unusually quiet. The children were gone for the weekend—E.J. traveling with his team, Ethan spending the night at a friend’s house, the twins having talked their Uncle Stack into a sleepover. For the first time in months, maybe years, Annie and Smoke had the entire house to themselves. Neither knew what to do with it. That should’ve worried them. Instead, they treated the silence like another item on an already crowded to-do list.

Annie sat at the kitchen island answering emails. Smoke stood near the sink scrolling through messages on his phone. A TV series played softly in the background from the Echo Show, though neither of them was watching it. 

The thermostat clicked. 

A few seconds later, Annie frowned. “Why is it so cold in here?”

Smoke didn’t look up. “Because it’s eighty-eight degrees outside.”

“It’s freezing.”

“It’s seventy-one.”

Annie looked towards the thermostat, then back at him. “Why is it seventy-one?”

Smoke finally lifted his head. “Because that’s what it’s set at.”

She stared at him. He stared back. The conversation should have ended there. Instead, Annie stood and crossed to the wall. A second later, the temperature setting changed.

Smoke looked up. “You serious?”

“Yes.”

“It’s one degree.”

“It’s my degree.”

He laughed. Wrong move.

Immediately the look appeared on Annie’s face, the one that warned him he was standing near something he didn’t fully understand. 

“You know what?” she said.

“Nah.”

“You were supposed to call the contractor.”

Smoke frowned. “What contractor?”

“The contractor.”

“The contractor for what?”

“The roof, Elijah.”

His expression changed—slightly, but enough. He remembered. The leak. The one she had mentioned twice. Maybe three times. He’d forgotten. And forgetting wasn’t normal for him. Not when it came to her.

“I’ve been busy.”

The second the words left his mouth, Annie’s face changed. “Right.”

Smoke straightened. “What that mean?”

“It means exactly what it sounds like.”

“I said I’d handle it.”

“You forgot.”

“I forgot one thing.”

Annie laughed—a short, humorless sound. “One thing.”

Smoke felt irritation rise. Now he was being judged for a mistake? He’d forgotten. He already knew he had forgotten. But somewhere beneath the irritation was something older. Something that had been collecting every time he moved a meeting, came home early, made up for a missed dinner, rearranged a weekend, showed up late but still showed up—and somehow found himself standing in front of the same disappointment on Annie’s face.

He was trying. Why couldn’t she see that?

“You act like I don’t do nothin’.”

Annie blinked. The statement surprised both of them. Smoke heard it the second it left his mouth. He knew it wasn’t what he meant. But it was there now, and Annie had heard it.

Her eyes narrowed. “I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

The kitchen went quiet. 

Annie folded her arms slowly. “You know what?”

Smoke already knew he wasn’t going to like whatever came next. “What?”

“I can’t remember the last time I asked you for something that wasn’t related to this house, the kids, or your schedule.”

The words landed harder than he expected. A part of him knew she was right. He just didn’t understand why that mattered. 

“We have four children.”

“I know.”

“We have responsibilities.”

“I know that.”

“We built all this.”

Annie laughed again. The sound hurt this time. “I know.”

Something about the way she said it made Smoke’s chest tighten. She wasn’t disagreeing. That would have been easier if she was. Instead she sounded exhausted. Like someone who had spent years carrying something heavy. Years hoping the other person would eventually notice.

“You know what the problem is?” she asked quietly.

Smoke looked at her. “No.”

“I believe you love me.”

The answer caught him completely off guard. For a second he simply stared. Because that wasn’t where he thought this conversation was going. 

“I do.”

“I know.” Her voice cracked slightly. The sound immediately put him on edge. “I know you love me.”

Silence stretched. Then she looked away—towards the living room, towards the life they’d spent years building, towards everything they had once wanted. And when she spoke again, her voice was softer. That somehow made it worse. 

“I just don’t think you see me anymore.”

The words hit him like a punch. Not because they were cruel. Because they felt impossible. 

“What are you talking about?”

Her laugh was small. Disbelieving. Exactly the kind of laugh people made when they discovered they’d been speaking a different language from someone they loved. 

“What am I talking about?”

“Annie—”

“I had a keynote last year and forgot it.”

Smoke’s jaw tightened. “What does that have to do with this?”

“You hired Danielle.”

“Because you needed help.”

“I needed you.” 

Annie took a deep breath and continued. “You kept finding people to carry pieces of my life.” Her voice trembled. “But nobody could carry the part that belonged to you.”

The words landed. Hard. Smoke felt something shift inside his chest. 

Annie shook her head. Tears gathered in her eyes. She didn’t bother wiping them away. “I wasn’t drowning because of schedules.” Her voice broke. “I was drowning because I was lonely.”

The TV series continued playing in the background. But they didn’t hear it. 

Smoke stared at her. Actually stared. Because suddenly he felt like he’d missed something important. Something enormous. Something that had been happening right in front of him.

“I was there.”

The words came out immediately. Instinctively. Like a defense. Annie closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were shining. 

“No.” 

Smoke flinched. She didn’t say it angrily. She said it sadly. “No, Elijah.” The use of his name felt worse than shouting. “I know you were physically there.” Her voice softened. “But somewhere, I stopped being your place to rest.”

The words settled heavily between them. 

Smoke looked away first—towards the dark windows, to the backyard. To anything that wasn’t her face. A part of him knew she was describing something real. He just couldn’t see the shape of it. And if Elijah “Smoke” Moore knew anything, it was how to solve problems he could understand.

Work problems. 

Business problems. 

Financial problems. 

Logistical problems. 

He had built an entire life fixing problems. But standing in that kitchen, looking at his wife, he couldn’t find a solution. He didn’t know what to do.

Annie watched him. Waited. Hoped for an explanation, understanding. Maybe for him to finally say the thing she had needed to hear for years. Instead Smoke said the worst possible thing. “I’ve been carrying a lot too.”

The second the words left his mouth, Annie’s face changed. Like a door quietly closing. Because she heard what he meant. Even if he hadn’t meant it that way. 

She nodded, slowly. “I know.”

Smoke took a step toward her. “Annie—”

“No.” She shook her head. The tears were falling now. Silent. Unstoppable. 

“No.” She looked tired. 

Done. 

The thought terrified him. Annie fought for things she loved. Always had. She argued. Pushed. Demanded. Stayed. This version of her wasn’t fighting. This version looked like she had run out of strength.

“You don’t even know what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

Smoke opened his mouth. Nothing came out. Because the horrible truth was… he wasn’t sure he did.

Annie looked at him for a long moment. Then nodded once. Mostly to herself. As though something had finally become clear. When she spoke, her voice was almost calm. 

“I think you should leave for a while.”

The words didn’t register immediately. Smoke stared at her. “What?”

“I think we need space.”

The room seemed to tilt slightly. Annie didn’t threaten things. She didn’t use ultimatums. She didn’t play games. If she said something, she meant it. 

“Annie.”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Fear arrived then. Quiet, cold, and unfamiliar. Smoke felt it in his bones. They were no longer talking about a thermostat. Or a contractor. Or a missed keynote. They were talking about their marriage. And he had arrived at that conclusion far too late.

That night Annie packed a bag for him while he sat downstairs trying to understand how they had gotten there. When she carried it to the front door, neither of them spoke. 

The silence felt enormous. 

Smoke took the bag from her. Looked at her and waited. Part of him expected her to stop him. To say something. To change her mind. Instead Annie just stood there. Exhausted. Heartbroken. Certain. The sight hurt more than any argument ever could. 

Smoke reached up, brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Then kissed her forehead. The gesture was so familiar it almost broke them both. “Goodnight, Annie.”

Her eyes closed. Just for a second. When they opened again, they were full of tears. “Goodnight, Elijah.”

Smoke walked out the front door. 

And for the first time since freshman year, neither one followed.

Almost

For the first several days after Elijah left, neither of them told the children.

There was always a reason to wait. E.J. was traveling with his team and Annie refused to tell him over the phone. Ethan had a test coming up. The twins had already cried when their daddy hadn’t returned home Sunday night, but Annie had managed to explain his absence with a vague answer about their father needing time to think.

It wasn’t entirely a lie. Elijah needed time to think. The problem was, thinking had never required him to leave his family before.

He stayed in one of the furnished apartments his company maintained downtown for visiting executives. It was expensive, quiet, and impersonal. The refrigerator contained bottled water, three miniature jars of mustard, and nothing else. The walls were painted a neutral gray. The furniture looked as though it had been selected by someone who believed human beings should never leave evidence that they had lived anywhere.

Smoke hated it.

The first night, he barely slept. He lay in the unfamiliar bed staring at the ceiling, listening to the mechanical hum of the air conditioning and waiting for sounds that never came. No footsteps in the hallway. No television playing too loudly downstairs. No child opening the bedroom door because they needed water, advice, money, or reassurance that the shadow beside their closet wasn’t moving.

No Annie moving beneath the covers beside him.

He checked his phone more times than he could count. Nothing. He had expected anger. A message demanding to know when he planned to collect the rest of his clothes. Another argument. Something.

Annie sent him the twins’ updated dance schedule. Smoke stared at the message until the screen dimmed.

Then he typed: Got it. He deleted it.

Typed: Thank you. Deleted that too.

Eventually, he responded with a thumbs-up.

Annie stared at the reaction when it appeared on her screen, then locked her phone and placed it facedown on the nightstand. Something about that tiny yellow hand made her want to reach through the phone and punch him. Instead, she turned off the lamp and lay on his side of the bed.

They told the children the following Friday.

Smoke arrived twenty minutes early and sat in his Mercedes G Wagon at the end of the driveway until Annie texted him that everyone was home. He had lived in that house for more than a decade. His name was on the deed. Most of the furniture had been chosen after months of arguing with Annie over fabrics, colors, and whether cream-colored chairs made sense in a house with four children.

Still, when he reached the front door, he knocked.

Annie’s chest tightened at the sound. She opened it and found him standing on the porch wearing dark jeans and a black sweater, one hand tucked into his pocket. His wedding ring caught the porch light.

Neither said a word to one another.

Then Annie broke the silence. “You didn’t have to knock,” Annie said.

Smoke looked past her into the house. “Felt like I did.”

The answer hurt more than she expected, so she stepped aside.

The children gathered in the living room. E.J. sat on the edge of an armchair, shoulders rigid, suspicion already written across his face. Ethan occupied one end of the couch, turning his phone over and over between his hands. The twins sat pressed together beneath a blanket, Anaëlle holding Arielle’s fingers tightly in her lap.

Annie sat beside them. Smoke remained standing until Arielle looked up and asked, “Why you all the way over there?”

He sat immediately.

They explained it carefully. There had been problems. Adult problems. Things they needed time to work through. Smoke would be staying somewhere else for a while, but he would still see them all the time. Their routines would change, but their family would not disappear.

The explanation sounded reasonable. The children hated it anyway. They said nothing for a while.

Anaëlle’s bottom lip trembled first. “So… Daddy’s not coming home tonight?”

Annie felt the question lodge somewhere beneath her ribs. “Not tonight, baby.”

Anaëlle nodded once, then immediately buried her face against Annie’s shoulder, tears coming before she could stop them. Annie wrapped both arms around her automatically, kissing the top of her head while her own eyes burned.

Beside them, Arielle hadn’t cried. She was watching Smoke. Really watching him. Like she was trying to solve a puzzle that refused to fit together.

Ethan finally broke the silence. “So… how long is ‘for a while’?”

Smoke looked at Annie before answering. “We don’t know.”

Ethan frowned. “You mean you haven’t decided?”

“No.”

His fingers kept turning his phone over and over. “But y’all always have a plan.”

Neither Annie nor Smoke answered. Then—

“Are y’all getting divorced?” E.J. asked.

Annie looked at Smoke. Smoke looked at her.

“We don’t know,” Annie answered.

E.J. stood so quickly the chair moved backwards. “How do you not know?”

“E.J.—”

“Nah.” His eyes moved between them. “Y’all been married our whole lives and now you don’t know?”

Smoke leaned forward, forearms resting against his thighs. “Sit down, son.”

“I don’t wanna sit down.”

“I understand you angry.”

“You don’t understand nothin’.”

“E.J.,” Annie warned.

Smoke lifted one hand before she could continue. “Let him be mad.”

His son stared at him, breathing hard. Smoke held his gaze. “You can be mad at me. You can be mad at your mama. But this ain’t because of you. It ain’t because of your brother or your sisters either. Nothin’ any of y’all did caused this.”

“Then fix it.”

The room went painfully still. Anaëlle began crying harder. Arielle reached across the blanket and took her sister’s hand without looking away from her parents. Ethan lowered his head. For the first time in years, there wasn’t an answer he could reason his way towards. Smoke’s face barely changed, but Annie saw the words strike him.

E.J. swallowed. His voice sounded younger when he spoke again. “You fix everything else.”

Smoke looked down at his hands. For once, he had no answer.

The first few weeks became an exhausting lesson in logistics.

Smoke collected the children Friday afternoons and returned them Sunday evenings. During the week, he attended games, practices, recitals, parent meetings, and school functions whenever his schedule allowed. He still paid every bill connected to the house. He still called Ethan on Wednesdays to help with advanced mathematics and texted E.J. before every game. The twins FaceTimed him nearly every night, sometimes carrying the phone from room to room as though he were still walking through the house beside them.

From the outside, the arrangement looked almost civilized. Inside it, Annie and Smoke struggled over everything. 

He arrived too early. She changed pickup times without asking him. He bought the twins new tablets after Annie had already told them no. She scheduled a weekend trip during one of his designated weekends. He accused her of controlling access to the children. She accused him of trying to overcompensate with gifts.

Most arguments began over logistics and ended somewhere far more personal.

“You can’t just show up whenever you feel like it.”

“This is my house too.”

“You don’t live here anymore.”

“Because you told me to leave.”“And you did.”

Smoke stared at her.

Annie wished she could pull the words back. Not because they weren’t true, but because of the look that crossed his face when she said them.

Neither apologized.

There were softer moments too, which somehow made everything worse. The first time Smoke returned the children, he walked them inside without thinking. The twins ran upstairs to show Annie something they had bought. Ethan headed toward the kitchen. E.J. disappeared into the living room. Smoke remained near the front door holding Arielle’s overnight bag. Annie reached for it. Their fingers touched. A familiar current passed between them, immediate and unwelcome.

“Thank you,” she said.

Smoke nodded. “They ate already.”

“Okay.”

“Ethan’s got a project due Tuesday.”

“I know.”

“He said he needed—”

“I know, Smoke.”

His mouth closed.

Annie regretted her tone instantly, but exhaustion prevented her from softening it.

Smoke handed her the bag. Then, without thinking, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. The gesture lasted only a second. Muscle memory. Marriage memory.

Both of them froze.

Smoke stepped back first. “My fault.”

Annie’s throat tightened. “It’s fine.”

It wasn’t. He left without saying goodnight. 

But the biggest “almost” happened three months into the separation.

Smoke had come by Saturday morning to collect the children for a weekend at his brother’s lake house. E.J. and Ethan were arguing upstairs over a missing charger. The twins were still packing despite Annie having told them repeatedly to be ready by ten.

Smoke stood in the kitchen drinking coffee from his old mug. Black ceramic. White lettering. WORLD’S OKAYEST DAD.

Arielle had bought it for him when she was seven.

“You could’ve used a clean cup,” Annie said.

Smoke glanced down. “This one was clean.”

“You know what I mean.”

His eyes met hers over the rim. Annie looked away first. She crossed into the pantry to find snacks for the drive. The space was expansive, shelves lining both walls from floor to ceiling. She reached for a box on the highest shelf and heard Smoke enter behind her.

“I got it.”

“I can reach.”

“You can’t.”

“I absolutely can.”

Smoke stepped closer. His chest brushed her back as he reached over her head. His body fit against hers with a familiarity that made the last three months disappear. Annie went still. Smoke did too. For one suspended moment, they didn’t move. Then his free hand found her waist. His palm settled against the curve of her hip the same way it had thousands of times before. Annie’s eyes closed. “Smoke.”

He lowered the box onto the shelf beside her, but he didn’t step away. His mouth brushed the side of her neck. A soft kiss. Barely there.

Annie exhaled shakily. Smoke kissed her again, this time below her ear, the spot where he knew she was sensitive. Her hand gripped the edge of the shelf. “We can’t,” she whispered.

“I know.” He kissed her there again.

Annie turned in his arms.The first kiss landed somewhere between an accident and a decision. Their mouths met softly, hesitantly, testing whether the connection they had spent months trying to ignore still existed.

It did.

The second kiss carried no hesitation. Smoke backed her against the shelves, one hand sliding into her hair while the other drew her closer. Annie gripped the front of his sweater, kissing him with every lonely night she had spent reaching across an empty bed. Every morning she had awakened before remembering he no longer lived there. Every conversation that had ended before either of them said what they actually meant.

The third kiss broke slowly. Neither of them moved. Smoke rested his forehead against hers, both of them breathing hard, his thumb brushing the curve of her cheek as though reminding himself she was real.

“We shouldn’t,” Annie whispered.

“I know.”

Neither stepped away. Smoke kissed her again. This time there was urgency.

Years of habit, longing, grief, and love collapsed into a single moment. Annie’s hands slid from his sweater to his shoulders, then around his neck, pulling him closer as though she could erase every mile that had separated them over the past months. Smoke answered with a low groan against her mouth, the sound vibrating through her chest and unraveling what little restraint either of them still possessed.

His hand slipped beneath the hem of her shirt, settling against the warmth of her waist, then higher, palm spanning bare skin. Annie’s fingers found the buckle of his belt and worked it open without thought, both of them moving with the instinctive familiarity of people who knew each other’s bodies better than they knew how to live apart. He kissed along her jaw, then down the side of her throat, lingering there just long enough to make her eyes flutter closed. She pushed his sweater up, needing the heat of his skin under her hands. His fingers slid to the waistband of her leggings, already starting to ease them down as he pressed her more firmly against the shelves.

For one impossible moment, it felt as though nothing had happened. No arguments. No miscommunication. No separation. Only them.

“Daddy?”

They broke apart.

Anaëlle’s voice came from the kitchen.

Smoke’s forehead dropped to Annie’s shoulder. His belt hung open between them. Annie’s shirt had ridden above her waist; one of her hands was still fisted in the fabric of his sweater. Neither seemed capable of moving.

“Daddy?” Anaëlle called again. “Where are you?”

Smoke closed his eyes. “Pantry.”

“What are you doing?”

Annie pressed her lips together.

Smoke looked at the abandoned snack box. “Getting snacks.”

“Oh.” A pause. “Can you get the spicy chips?”

“Yeah.”

Anaëlle’s footsteps retreated. 

The quiet that followed felt entirely different. Annie lowered her shirt. Smoke fastened his belt with deliberate movements. Neither looked directly at the other.

“We can’t do this,” Annie said.

Smoke leaned against the opposite shelf. “We ain’t do nothin’.”

She gave him a look. His mouth twitched, but the humor vanished quickly.

“This is exactly what I mean.” Annie folded her arms tightly across herself. “We keep acting like nothing has changed whenever it’s convenient.”

“Didn’t feel convenient.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?”

“The point is that you can’t come in here, touch me like that, and then go back to your apartment like it doesn’t mean anything.”

Smoke’s expression hardened. “You think it don’t mean anything to me?”

“I don’t know what anything means to you anymore.”

The words cut through the remaining heat.

Smoke straightened. “You know exactly what you mean to me, Annie.”

“No, Elijah. I know what I used to mean to you.”

His eyes narrowed. “This some bullshit.”

“Is it?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Then why are we here?”

Smoke opened his mouth, but Annie shook her head. “No. I’m not doing this in the pantry while our children are here.” She moved past him, then stopped at the doorway. “From now on, when you pick them up, wait in the foyer.”

Smoke stared at her. “You fuckin’ serious?”

“Yes.”

“This still my home.”

Annie’s voice hardened. “Then you should’ve fought harder to stay in it.”

His face changed. She hated herself for saying it.

Still, she walked away.

They began couples counseling the following month. Annie found the therapist. Dr. Beverly Harris, a Black woman in her early sixties with silver threaded through her locs and a way of remaining composed while two people dismantled each other across from her.

Smoke disliked her by the second appointment. He never said that directly, but he didn’t need to. Annie recognized the closed posture, the crossed arms, the slight narrowing of his eyes whenever Dr. Harris asked him to consider something he did not want to consider.

What Annie didn’t fully understand was that Smoke had begun walking into those sessions already braced. By then, he had spent months turning the marriage over in his head. The missed dinners. The late arrivals. Danielle. The nights he had disappeared into work after Adeline. Every conversation seemed to lead back to another thing Annie had needed from him that he had somehow failed to recognize until it was too late.

He knew he had made mistakes. That wasn’t the part he resisted. What he didn’t know how to explain was that he remembered trying too.

He remembered canceling meetings after Adeline. Sleeping beside Annie in the middle of the day because she couldn’t get out of bed. Heating food. Holding her while she cried. Rearranging schedules. Hiring Danielle when Annie started forgetting things. Showing up late more times than he could forgive himself for, but still showing up.

None of it had been enough to stop them from ending up here. So by the fourth session, Smoke had begun hearing questions about Annie’s loneliness as questions about his failure. During that session, Annie described the loneliness she had felt after Adeline.

Smoke sat beside her, staring toward the window.

Dr. Harris waited until Annie finished. “Elijah, what did you hear your wife say?”

Smoke shifted in his chair. “That I wasn’t there for her.”

Annie closed her eyes.

Dr. Harris remained patient. “Is that what she said?”

“It’s what she meant.”

“No,” Annie said quietly. “It isn’t.”

Smoke looked at her. “You said you were lonely.”

“I was.”

“While I was right there.”

“Physically.”

His jaw flexed. There it was again. Not enough. He had been there, but not correctly. He had held her, but not the way she needed. He had worked to keep their life together, but apparently that had only carried him farther away from her. Smoke knew Annie wasn’t saying those exact words. That didn’t stop him from hearing them.

Dr. Harris leaned forward. “Elijah, when Annie tells you she felt lonely, what happens inside you?”

“I hear her telling me I failed.”

Annie turned toward him. “I’m not saying you failed.”

“That’s exactly what you’re sayin’.”

“No. I’m saying I missed you.”

“I was workin’.”

“I know.”

“I was takin’ care of our family.”

“I know that.”

“I was grievin’ too.”

“I know, Elijah.”

“Do you?”

The question filled the room. Annie stared at him. “Do you think I don’t know that losing Adeline hurt you?”

“You keep talkin’ like I just went back to work because I didn’t care.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Dr. Harris looked at him for a moment. “I don’t think you went back to work because you didn’t care.”

Smoke’s eyes moved to her.

“I think work may have been one of the places you knew how to function when grief made you feel helpless.”

His expression changed— Barely, but Annie saw it.

Dr. Harris continued. “That doesn’t make your grief less real. And it doesn’t make Annie’s loneliness less real either. Both can be true.”

Smoke looked away again. That was the part he struggled with. Every time somebody said both could be true, it somehow still felt like the conversation ended with what he had done wrong.

Dr. Harris let the quiet sit for a moment before speaking again. “Elijah, can you stay with what Annie is saying without deciding what it says about you?”

Smoke gave a short laugh. “See? That’s what I’m talkin’ about.”

“Help me understand.”

“Every session, it feels like we spend an hour talkin’ about what I didn’t do. What I missed. What she needed that I didn’t give her.”

Dr. Harris nodded. “And you want there to be room for what you were carrying too.”

“Yeah.”

“There should be.”

That answer made him look at her.

“But making room for your experience doesn’t require us to erase Annie’s.”

Smoke’s mouth tightened. To him, that was exactly what kept happening in reverse.

Annie leaned forward. “Because you won’t talk about anything else.”

Smoke looked at her. “What you want me to say?”

“The truth.”

“I am tellin’ the truth.”

“You’re defending yourself.”

Smoke looked back at Dr. Harris. “And that’s exactly what I’m sayin’. Soon as I try to explain myself, it turns into me makin’ excuses.”

Dr. Harris nodded once. “So when you try to explain your experience, you don’t feel heard.”

“No.”

“And Annie, when he explains his experience…”

Annie’s laugh held no humor. “It feels like he leaves no room for mine.”

Smoke felt something in him close. There it was. Even after Dr. Harris had said there should be room for him, they had somehow arrived back at what he was doing wrong.

He pushed back from the couch. “I’m done.”

Annie’s stomach dropped. “Elijah…”

He shook his head. “I can’t keep doin’ this.”

“You’re leaving?”

“This ain’t counselin’. This is two people tellin’ me why everything I did wasn’t enough.”

Annie stared at him. “You’re proving my point.”

His hand paused on the doorknob. For one second, she thought he might sit back down. He didn’t. Smoke walked out. They attended one more session. Then he stopped going.

Annie continued alone for several months. She learned words for things she had felt but never understood. Emotional abandonment. Pursuer-distancer dynamics. Unresolved grief. Protective withdrawal. She learned that two people could love each other deeply and still create patterns that wounded them both. 

Knowing the names though didn’t teach her how to save them.

Smoke didn’t date. Women expressed interest. Some subtly. Others with enough confidence to make their intentions unmistakable. He ignored all of them. His wedding ring remained on his finger. Annie’s photograph remained in his wallet. Whenever someone referred to her as his estranged wife, something inside him resisted the word.

Estranged sounded temporary. He preferred temporary.

Annie considered dating once. A physician she had met during a leadership summit asked her to dinner. He was handsome, thoughtful, divorced, and appropriately respectful when she explained that her marriage had not legally ended.

“Dinner doesn’t have to mean anything,” he told her.

That was the problem. Annie did not know how to offer someone something meaningless. Not when so much of her still belonged to Elijah. She declined. Smoke never knew anyone had asked.

Nearly a year after he left the house, Annie filed for divorce. The papers arrived at his office on a Monday morning. Smoke opened the envelope alone. He read every page twice, then placed the documents inside the bottom drawer of his desk.

He refused to sign them.

Annie waited two weeks before calling. “Did you get the papers?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you reviewed them?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“I’m ain’t signin’ shit.”

She closed her eyes. “Elijah.”

“I said I’m not signin’ a muthafuckin thing.”

“You can’t refuse forever.”

“I can refuse today.”

“This isn’t a game.”

“You think I think this shit a game?”

“I think you’re dragging it out.”

“I’m buyin’ us time.”

“We’ve had time.”

“Not enough.”

“For what?”

Smoke stared through the windows of his office at the city below. “To figure this out.”

Annie’s laugh held no humor. “You don’t want to figure it out. You want me to stop asking.”

“That ain’t true.”

“Then go back to counseling.”

His silence answered her. Annie ended the call.

Weeks became months. New copies of the papers arrived. Smoke ignored them. Her attorney contacted his attorney. Meetings were scheduled and postponed. Negotiations began, stalled, then began again. Every conversation between Annie and Smoke circled the same exhausted ground.

Sign the papers.

No.

Why?

Because I don’t know how to stop being your husband.

He said it only once—Late one night over the phone, his voice so low she nearly convinced herself she had imagined it. Annie sat in the dark afterward, holding the phone against her chest. She didn’t know how to stop being his wife either. But she had learned that loving Elijah was not the same as being able to live with him.

Eventually, patience gave way to anger. Anger gave way to fury. And fury was exactly what carried Annie through the glass doors of Moore Capital on a Wednesday afternoon, an unsigned divorce agreement clutched in her hand.

By the time she reached Elijah’s office, every polite request she had made over the past year had hardened into something sharper. His assistant attempted to stop her. Annie walked past without slowing down.

What followed was loud, ugly, and long overdue. Accusations. Deflections. Fifteen-plus years of love compressed into twenty minutes of anger. Annie slammed the envelope onto his desk and demanded that he sign it. Smoke refused. She accused him of controlling her. He accused her of trying to erase their marriage because fixing it required more patience than she had left.

Neither meant everything they said. Both meant enough of it. When Annie finally turned toward the door, Smoke moved.

His hand closed around her wrist.

Come Home

“Annie.”

The way he said her name—low and rough, stripped of the controlled indifference he had worn throughout the argument, sent a fresh pulse of heat straight through her.

She had barely taken a step before his hand closed gently around her wrist. The movement stopped her in place. Then she felt him behind her.

His chest hovered just shy of her back, close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating from him, close enough that one shallow breath backward would erase the last inch between them. His thumb traced slow circles against the delicate skin of her wrist, each pass feeling like a promise and a plea all at once.

Her pulse hammered. She swallowed hard, fighting the treacherous pull of his body and every memory it carried. God, she knew exactly what it would feel like if she leaned back even the slightest bit. How easily his arms would find their way around her. How naturally she’d fit there.

“Let me go, Elijah.”

He didn’t move. His dark eyes searched hers, reluctance and raw hunger carved into every line of his face. For one agonizing second, she thought he might refuse. Then his fingers loosened. Slowly. Deliberately. As though surrendering even that small claim on her cost him something he wasn’t sure he could afford.

Annie stepped back on unsteady legs. She turned toward the door, every instinct screaming at her to keep walking. This was why she’d insisted he stay in the foyer. Why she’d stopped letting him wander through the house. Why she’d filed for divorce instead of continuing to live somewhere between wife and stranger. Because every time he touched her… She forgot why they were breaking up.

Her fingers closed around the brass handle. Open the door. Leave. Go home.

She still could. She could drive back to the house, crawl into the bed they’d once shared, and spend another night pretending she no longer belonged to the man standing behind her. Her hand tightened around the handle. She couldn’t remember the last time Elijah had looked at her the way he had just now.

Behind her, Smoke stayed exactly where he was, jaw locked, watching her put distance between them.

This time, he let her go.

When the soft click of her heels continued across the floor, he finally turned away. Defeated. Pissed. Hard as fuck and already aching with the loss of her warmth. He dragged a hand over his mouth, cursing beneath his breath as he walked back toward his desk. The unsigned divorce papers lay exactly where she’d left them. For a long moment, he simply stared at them.

Maybe this was it. Maybe this was finally the day he signed them. He reached for the envelope. 

The quiet click of the lock froze him mid-reach.

Smoke turned. Annie still stood with her back against the door, one hand resting on the deadbolt. She hadn’t left. She was still facing the door.

Neither spoke.

The silence stretched until it became almost unbearable. Then Annie drew one shaky breath.

“Touch me.”

Smoke was on her in two strides. His broad chest pressed flush against her back, pinning her gently against the door. One large hand came around her waist while the other planted against the wood beside her head, boxing her in without forcing her to turn. She gasped as the unmistakable hardness of him pressed against her through their clothes, the weight of him making every nerve in her body spark to life.

His breath ghosted hot and ragged across the side of her neck. He didn’t speak right away. Instead he buried his face in her hair and inhaled like a man who’d been holding his breath for a year. The low, broken sound that left him made her knees weak.

“Fuck… you wearin’ it.” His voice was pure gravel. “Black Opium. My favorite. The one that always made me weak for you.” He inhaled her. “Fuck, man”— he groaned. “A whole goddamn year and you still smell like mine. You still fit against me like nothin’ ever changed.” His jaw tightened. “My body never will forget you.”

Annie’s pulse stuttered. She hadn’t meant to wear it. She’d told herself it was just the bottle still sitting on the counter, muscle memory more than intention. But the way he breathed her in made that lie feel paper-thin.

“Elijah…” It was supposed to be a command to stop. It came out breathy and weak, barely a whisper.

He stilled, but he didn’t pull away. Instead he pressed closer. The low, guttural groan that vibrated from his chest made her knees weak. “Baby. You still smell like home. Like my wife. Like the only woman who’s ever driven me this fuckin’ crazy.”

He paused.

“I was gonna sign them papers. But then you walked back in here smelling like this and I’m right back where I started.”

His hand slid lower on her waist, thumb stroking the sensitive skin just above her hip bone before venturing higher, cupping the underside of her breast through her blouse. He squeezed gently, then harder, thumb brushing over her already-hard nipple until she whimpered. Annie’s head fell back against his shoulder despite herself. He was everywhere—his heat, his scent, the rigid length of him pressing insistently against her.

Smoke’s other hand trailed down her thigh, slipping under the hem of her skirt. His fingers teased the edge of her panties, tracing the lace but never quite giving her what she needed. “Been wet for me since you stormed in here, haven’t you?” he whispered hotly against her ear, nipping the lobe hard enough to sting. “Has anyone been inside you since I left? Or did you keep it locked up for me?”

She rocked back against him, desperate for friction. “Touch me. Please.”

He chuckled darkly, the sound sending shivers down her spine. Finally, his fingers pushed her panties aside and dragged slowly through her folds. The first contact made her breath hitch—slick heat coating his skin, her clit already swollen and hypersensitive under the lightest pressure. He circled it once, twice, torturously slow, then dipped lower to tease her entrance without entering.

Annie’s hips jerked. Inside, she could feel herself clenching around nothing, that deep, empty ache sharpening with every deliberate pass of his fingers.

He pushed one finger inside her, then two, curling them deep while his thumb continued working her clit in firm, steady circles. The stretch was immediate and intimate; her walls fluttered around him, hot and tight after so long. He pumped slowly at first, scissoring, searching until he found the spot that made her thighs tremble and a broken sound catch in her throat.

“That’s it, baby. Feel how you open for me.” He kept the pace measured, dragging the pads of his fingers along that sensitive ridge inside her on every stroke, never quite giving her the speed she needed. “I want you feenin’ for it. Want you so close you forget why you ever walked away.”

She was close already—embarrassingly so—the pressure coiling low and tight, her inner muscles starting to flutter in warning. He felt it and slowed even further, almost withdrawing, leaving her clenching and empty for a beat before sliding back in. The denial made the next thrust feel sharper; pleasure spiked and then plateaued, leaving her trembling on the edge.

“Please—”

He added a third finger, stretching her wider. The fullness made her gasp. His breath was hot on her neck as he whispered, “Look at you. Almost gone already. No one else could make you shake like this. You almost left me. You was gonna walk away from this. From us. But your body still knows where home is.”

He brought her right to the brink again—fingers curling hard, thumb relentless—then stopped completely, holding her open and pulsing while she shook. The absence was almost painful; her walls clenched around the emptiness, the throb in her clit sharp enough to make her whimper.

“Not yet. I don’t want you to come yet.”

“Please—Smoke, please, I need—”

He stopped cold.

The fingers inside her stilled, then slowly withdrew, leaving her empty and aching. Annie turned, flushed and frustrated, the sharp sting of denial hitting hard only to freeze at the sight in front of her.

Smoke brought his glistening fingers to his mouth and licked them clean, slow and deliberate, eyes locked on hers the entire time. The wet sound of it, the way his tongue dragged over his own skin to taste her, left her hypnotized. Heat pulsed low in her belly all over again.

Then his voice cut through the haze, low and dangerous.

“What did you call me?”

Annie’s chin lifted, a spark of defiance cutting through the need. “Smoke.”

He stepped in closer, crowding her against the door, the evidence of how badly he still wanted her pressed thick and hard against her hip. “That’s not what you call me.”

The air between them went tight. She held his stare for a long second, then let the name fall from her lips the way she used to in the private corners of their life—soft, intimate, only for him.

“Elijah-Smoke.”

Something dark and hungry flared in his eyes. He hadn’t heard that name in over a year. The sound of it hit him like a physical thing; she saw the exact moment it landed.

Before he could recover, Annie wrapped her fingers around his tie and tugged, stepping forward into the room and forcing him to move with her. She walked backward the rest of the way, never breaking eye contact, leading him by the tie like a leash. Smoke followed like a man in a trance. When the backs of his knees hit the couch cushions she gave him a firm push, and he sat hard.

She caught his wrist—the same hand that had been inside her, still faintly shiny—and brought it to her mouth. Slowly, she licked his fingers clean one at a time. The taste of herself mixed with his skin. A soft, pleased hum left her throat.

Smoke’s pupils blew wide. He watched her like he was remembering every nasty thing they used to do in the dark. A rough sound scraped out of his throat.

“Got-damn, Annie…”

He reached up, threaded his fingers into the back of her hair, and dragged her down into a kiss that was all tongue and teeth and a year of missing her. It was sloppy, desperate. While their mouths stayed locked they stripped each other with impatient hands—her blouse shoved off her shoulders, his shirt ripped open and discarded, her bra unhooked and tossed aside. Her skirt and panties came off in one drop.

He broke the kiss only long enough to latch onto her breast, sucking hard, tongue circling her nipple. Annie’s head fell back, a low moan spilling out of her as she held his head against her and arched into it.

“Fuck… yes—”

Annie pushed him back against the cushions and dropped to her knees between his spread thighs. She looked up at him through her lashes, licked a slow stripe up the underside of his thick, veiny shaft, and took him deep with a wet, hungry sound.

Smoke’s head fell back against the couch. A broken groan tore out of him. His eyes rolled, hands fisting in the cushions, feet flexing against the floor as she worked him—hollowing her cheeks, swirling her tongue, taking him so deep she gagged softly and kept going. Spit slicked down his length. She stroked what she couldn’t swallow, greedy and relentless.

“Annie—fuck—baby, wait—” His voice was wrecked. One big hand found her hair, not pulling her off so much as trying to slow her down. “Gonna come—yo mouth—fuck.”

She pulled off just long enough to speak, voice rough and shiny with spit.

“Come here then. I want it.”

She spit on him, spread it with her fist, and sucked him even harder, chasing every reaction. When he finally broke it was with a guttural, almost pained sound, hips jerking as he spilled hot across her tongue and throat. Annie moaned around him as she swallowed and kept sucking, gentle now, milking every last pulse until he was twitching and oversensitive. Only then did she pull off, wipe the corner of her mouth with her thumb, and look up at him with quiet, satisfied heat.

Smoke stared at her like he’d been hit by a truck. His chest heaved.

“Woman…”

Annie started to rise, like she might actually walk away and leave him sitting there wrecked. Before she could take a full step he caught her wrist and hauled her down onto his lap—facing him. One arm banded around her waist; the other turned her face so he could kiss her again—slower this time, but no less hungry.

He didn’t reach between her legs right away. Instead he gripped her hips and lifted her higher, pulling her up his body until she was kneeling over his face. Her knees sank into the couch cushions on either side of his head. Annie caught the back of the couch for balance, looking down at him in surprise.

Smoke’s eyes were black with hunger. He spread her pussy lips open with his thumbs and dragged his tongue through her in one long, greedy stroke. A low, starving sound tore out of him.

“Fuck—still the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.”

He sealed his mouth over her and ate her like a man who’d been starving. Broad, flat strokes, then the pointed tip of his tongue flicking hard and fast over her clit. He sucked it between his lips, groaned against her, and slid two fingers inside her while he worked, curling them exactly the way she needed. Annie’s head fell back, a broken moan tearing out of her.

“Elijah-Smoke—oh my god—”

He didn’t let up. He licked and sucked and fucked her with his tongue until her thighs were shaking on either side of his head and she was grinding down onto his face without shame. When she came it was sharp and sudden, crying out as she pulsed against his mouth. He kept her there through it, drinking every tremor, only easing up when she tugged at his head with trembling fingers.

Then he pulled her back down his body and positioned her over his length. Annie sank onto him in one long, aching slide, both of them groaning at the stretch after so long.

The fullness was immediate and overwhelming—every inch pressing deep, her walls still fluttering from the orgasm. Heat bloomed low in her belly.

“Elijah-Smoke—” The name left her in a broken moan. “Fuck… you’re so deep…”

She rode him slow, rolling her hips, feeling every ridge and pulse of him, then harder, using his shoulders for leverage. Soft, open sounds kept spilling out of her with every drop of her hips.

“Missed this… missed the way you fill me—”

Smoke let her set the pace for a few moments before he growled, gripped her hips hard enough to bruise, and thrust up to meet her. One hand slid up her body and settled lightly around her throat—not squeezing, just holding, thumb resting over her pulse. The possessive pressure made her clench around him.

“Yessss—like that, don’t stop—”

He kept the hand at her throat as he fucked up into her, rough and deep, the wet sound of their bodies filling the office. The dual sensation—thick dick dragging over every sensitive place inside her and the steady, claiming weight of his palm—pushed her higher fast. Her walls began to flutter and tighten.

Annie came with a broken cry of his name, clenching hard around him, pulse after pulse rippling through her. He wasn’t finished. He eased her off just long enough to lay her on her back across the couch, hooked one of her legs and pushed it high—nearly to her shoulder. She was flexible enough to take it, and she pulled it back even farther herself, hand behind her knee, other hand pulling him closer.

The new angle made him sink impossibly deep. Smoke cursed and started fucking her in earnest—hard, precise strokes that dragged over every sensitive place inside her. Each thrust pressed against that swollen spot, sending sparks up her spine; the stretch and friction built again almost immediately, her body already primed and oversensitive.

“Right there—fuck—shit—right there—” Annie’s voice cracked. They kissed through it, messy and open-mouthed, until the pleasure coiled too tight. She came again with the private name on her lips, loud and wrecked—“Elijah-Smoke”—the rhythmic squeeze of her body pulling him over right after. He buried himself to the hilt and spilled inside her with a low, shattered groan, forehead pressed to hers, body trembling through every pulse.

Afterward, they stayed tangled together on the couch, sweat-damp and breathing hard.

Smoke adjusted them carefully until Annie was half draped across his chest, her cheek tucked beneath his chin as though she’d always belonged there. One arm circled her waist while the other moved slowly up and down her back, his fingertips tracing lazy paths along her spine.

Neither of them spoke for a while.

The room was quiet except for the sound of their breathing gradually finding the same rhythm again.

Annie looked down at the bruises already beginning to bloom beneath his fingertips along her hips. She caught sight of his teeth marks reflected faintly in the dark television screen across the room and felt a small, weary laugh threaten her throat.

For the first time in months, neither of them felt far away.

Smoke broke the silence first. “I’ve been thinkin’ about that night.”

Annie didn’t ask which one. She knew. “The thermostat?” she asked softly.

He nodded against her hair. “I’ve replayed that conversation every fuckin’ day.”

She listened without interrupting.

“I kept hearin’ all the things you said…” His voice caught. “…but I was so busy tryin’ to prove I wasn’t the man you thought I was…” He swallowed hard. “I never stopped long enough to hear what you were actually askin’ me.”

Annie closed her eyes. “I wasn’t askin’ you to defend yourself.”

“I know.”

“I wasn’t sayin’ you didn’t love me.”

“I know.”

She tilted her head just enough to look at him.

“I needed you to miss me while I was still standing beside you.”

Smoke’s eyes closed. “I do now.” The words came out barely above a whisper. “I know that’s too late.” He shook his head slowly. “But I do.”

Annie studied him for a long moment. Since all of this had begun, she wasn’t looking at a man trying to win an argument. She was looking at her husband. Really looking at him. “I know,” she whispered.

His fingers tightened almost imperceptibly against her back. His voice was quiet when he spoke again, rough around the edges. “Can I come home?”

Annie’s fingers curled against his chest. For a moment, she didn’t answer. Smoke’s hand stopped moving along her back. She could feel the change in him immediately. The way his body seemed to brace beneath hers, preparing for an answer he didn’t want but had finally learned he couldn’t control.

Annie lifted her head. “Elijah.”

His eyes met hers.

“If you come home, I need you to understand something.”

He waited.

“I don’t want us to go back.”

Something flickered across his face.

Annie touched his cheek. “I loved what we were. Lord knows I did. But I don’t want to go back to pretending everything’s okay because we had a good night. Or because we made love. Or because we miss each other.”

Smoke covered her hand with his.

“I need us to be different.”

His thumb moved slowly across her knuckles. “Different how?”

“I need you to talk to me before you disappear into yourself. I need you to hear me without deciding I’m telling you you’re a bad husband.” Her voice softened. “And I need to stop waiting until I’m so hurt that all I know how to do is push.”

Smoke looked at her for a long moment. “I can do that.”

“No.” Annie shook her head gently. “You can try.”

His expression changed, because there it was. The thing neither of them had allowed themselves for years. Not a promise that they would never hurt each other again.

Just the willingness to keep trying.

Smoke nodded. “I can try.”

Annie’s eyes burned. “And counseling.”

His mouth tightened instantly.

Despite everything, she almost laughed. “Elijah-Smoke.”

“Damn.”

“Counseling.”

He looked toward the ceiling as though appealing to God personally.

Annie waited.

Finally, he looked back at her. “Aight.”

“With Dr. Harris.”

“Now you pushin’ it.”

“Elijah.”

“I said aight.”

A laugh escaped her before she could stop it. Small. Wet. Tired.

Smoke stared at her. And there it was. That laugh. The one he hadn’t realized how desperately he’d missed until he heard it again. His hand came up and cradled the side of her face.

“Can I come home, Annie?”

This time, she understood what he was asking. Not whether he could sleep in their bed again. Not whether he could put his clothes back in the closet or drink coffee from that ridiculous WORLD’S OKAYEST DAD mug every morning.

He was asking whether there was still a place for him beside her. Whether fifteen years of loving each other badly in some places and beautifully in so many others had left them anything worth saving. Whether she still wanted him.

Annie leaned into his palm. “I still want us.”

Smoke’s eyes closed.

“And I’m choosing you,” she whispered. “Again.”

His forehead came down against hers. “Again,” he repeated.

Annie kissed him softly. No desperation or anger. No year of loneliness trying to consume itself in a single afternoon. Just a kiss between two people who had finally stopped pretending love alone would save them.

They would have to tell the children. They would have to return to counseling. There would be hard conversations. New boundaries. Old wounds that didn’t disappear simply because Elijah came home.

The divorce papers would still be sitting on his desk when they finally got up.But they would remain unsigned. Because Annie was still his wife. Elijah was still her husband. And neither of them was finished choosing the other yet.

For the first time in a year, coming home wasn’t about returning to the life they had before. It was about building one they could stay in.

End Note: Soo...what did y'all think? I hope it was worth the wait! 🫣 Y'all know I'm sensitive about my stuff. I hope the smut was good....😩

Tag List:

Paper Cuts

What He Doesn't Know

Ruined & Kept

Love You Harder

A Lifetime’s Worth

Act Right

 Sweet as Sin

What You Needed

Office Hours

Too Late to Pray

Say It With Your Tears

Talk Your Size

Good Boys Bring the Mail In

You Good, Angel?

Don’t Play in Front of Company

Still Burnin’

History Don’t Lie

 Sent to the Wrong One… But He Was So Right

You Ain’t Leaving Me Twice

Watch Your Mouth

Bookmark Between Pages

The Girl Next Door

Taste Test

The Way You Look at Me

Cry About It

Both

Quiet Ones Break Best

You, Me, and the Problem Child

Daddy Duty

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Scratch

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Wild for the Night

Turnabout

Came Home Hungry

Snowed In

Heaven in the Wreckage

What You Asked For

House Rules

That Man Ain’t Safe in This House

Tease Me Twice

He Knew What Week It Was

Flood Watch

Step Daddy Material

Route 69

You Never Left

Only Once

Don’t Make a Scene

Tangled

Beneath the Full Moon

The Last of the Moore Pack

Roommate Roulette

Second Chance

Exclusive Access

The house on the hill slept, but Smoke was awake.

It was always like this. The quiet, the stillness, the peace that Stack and Cherry seemed to settle into so easily—it was a foreign country to Smoke. It was a language he didn't speak. His own small house, a stone's throw from the main one, was a tomb of silence, and the silence was a breeding ground for ghosts.

He lay on his back in the dark, the coarse sheets a rough irritation against his skin. The moon was a sliver of bone in the sky, casting just enough light through the window to paint the room in shades of gray. He could hear the crickets chirping their relentless, high-pitched song, a sound that usually soothed him. Tonight, it was just noise. It was the sound of a world that was moving on, a world that didn't understand the war that was being waged in his own head.

He closed his eyes, trying to force the sleep that wouldn't come. But the moment his eyelids shut, she was there.

Emma.

It wasn't just the memory of her body, though that was certainly a part of it. It was the memory of her voice, a low purr that had wrapped around him like a second skin. It was the memory of her words, a filthy fantasy that had been so potent, so real, it had short-circuited his brain.

He could still feel the ghost of her touch, the way she had straddled him, her body a warm, soft weight on his lap. He could still feel the way she had wiggled, a slow, teasing grind that had made him suck in a sharp breath, his hands coming up to rest on her hips, his fingers pinching into her soft, fluffy flesh.

He could still hear her, her lips brushing against his ear, her hot breath a tantalizing caress. "I'd be your little slut. Your personal fuck toy. You could use me whenever you wanted, wherever you wanted. In the kitchen, on the floor, in the yard, under the stars. I'd take it all, Smoke. I'd take every inch of you."

And then, the part that had really done him in. The part that had made him lose control, made him make a mess in his pants like a teenage boy with his first hard-on.

"But that ain't all, is it, Smoke? You wouldn't just keep me stuffed. You'd keep me round, wouldn't you? Full of your babies. I'd be your little breeder, your personal baby factory. My titties would be heavy with milk, my belly swollen with your seed, and you'd still want me, wouldn't you?"

He shifted in the bed, his body growing hot and tight, the memory of her words. He could feel the pressure building, a hot, desperate need that was begging for release. He tried to fight it, tried to push it away, but it was no use. He was lost in the fantasy, lost in the dream she had sold him.

He reached down, his hand wrapping around the heavy length, straining against the soft cotton of his briefs. The fabric was already damp, a dark patch spreading where the head of his dick leaked a constant, sticky stream of pre-cum. He could feel the hard, insistent throb of it, a desperate, silent plea for more, a living thing trapped against his thigh.

He squeezed, a low moan slipping from his lips as his hips bucked up off the bed. He didn't pull himself out. The tease of it, the friction of the soft, wet cotton against the sensitive, satiny crown was a bittersweet torment. He started to stroke, his grip tight, his movements a slow, deliberate drag of fabric over heated skin.

Each pull was a fresh wave of sensation. The rough texture of the cotton against his glans, already slick with his own fluid, was a filthy, dry friction that sent sparks shooting up his spine. He could feel every ridge, every vein, the thick, powerful pulse of his own blood as it pumped through his dick. He imagined it was her hand, her small, soft fingers wrapped around him, her touch a little clumsy, a little too eager.

He could see her so clearly, her big, brown eyes wide with a mixture of fear and lust, her full, heavy breasts swaying as she rode him, the soft, dark triangle of hair between her legs a wet, inviting welcome. He could feel her, the tight, wet heat of her pussy wrapped around him, the soft, warm weight of her in his arms.

His strokes grew faster, more frantic. The bed was creaking softly, a rhythmic protest to the desperate motions of his hand. The wet spot on his briefs grew larger, the fabric becoming a sodden, clinging mess that molded to the shape of his dick, a second skin that was both a barrier and a part of the pleasure. He was fucking his own fist through the cotton, chasing a memory, chasing a fantasy, chasing a feeling.

He could feel the pressure building, a delicious ache at the base of his soul. He was close. He was so fucking close. He squeezed his eyes shut, his mouth falling open, a silent, breathless prayer to a god he didn't believe in.

He came with a choked, shuddering groan, his body arching off the bed, his toes curling. A hot, thick flood erupted from him, a powerful, relentless pulse that soaked the front of his briefs, the warm, sticky fluid a shocking, intimate heat against his skin.

He collapsed against the bed, his body trembling, his breath coming in ragged, desperate gasps. The soft cotton of his briefs was a sodden, sticky mess, a cooling, uncomfortable weight that was a physical manifestation of his obsession.

But the release didn't bring peace. It just brought a new, more insistent hunger. A need that was not just for release, but for connection. A need to see her again, to hear her voice, to feel her touch.

He threw back the covers, his body a mess of sweat and cum. He needed a shower. He needed a drink. He needed to get out of this goddamn house.

He stood up, his body a tall, lean shadow in the moonlight. He walked over to the small table in the corner of the room, a bottle of whiskey and a single glass sitting on it. He poured himself a drink, the liquid a familiar, comforting burn as it slid down his throat. He drank it down in one gulp, then poured another.

He walked over to the window, his naked body a cool contrast to the night. He looked out at the big house on the hill, a dark, imposing shape against the moonlit sky. He could see a light on in one of the windows, a soft, warm glow that was a testament to the life being lived there. A life that he was a part of, but that he didn't quite feel like he belonged to.

He could see Stack and Cherry in there, a happy little family, a picture of domestic bliss. And he was happy for them, he really was. But he was also jealous. Jealous of the ease of it, the simplicity of it. The way they could just… be.

He was a man who was always on the outside looking in. A man who was always watching, always waiting. A man who was always hungry.

He finished his drink, the glass a heavy, cold weight in his hand. He knew what he had to do. He knew where he had to go.

He pulled on his pants, the sticky, cooling mess a frustrating, uncomfortable reminder of his lack of control. He grabbed his shirt and his boots, and he walked out of the house, the cool night air a welcome relief against his hot, sweaty skin.

He didn't bother with a car. He needed the walk, the long, lonely journey into town, the time it would take to clear his head, to prepare himself for what he was about to do.

He walked down the long, winding road, the moon a silent witness to his journey. He could hear the night sounds, the chirping of the crickets, the hooting of an owl in the distance. He could smell the damp, earthy scent of the Delta, the sweet smell of the honeysuckle that grew in wild, tangled vines along the side of the road.

He walked for what felt like hours, his long, loose stride eating up the pavement, his mind a chaotic mess of thoughts and feelings. He thought about Emma, about the way she had looked at him, the way she had spoken, the way she had made him feel. He thought about the fantasy she had sold him, a dream so vivid, so real, it was like a memory.

He thought about the women he had been with, the ones he had broken, the ones who had run away screaming. He thought about the hunger that had always been a part of him, a dark, insatiable beast that lived in his gut.

And he thought about the possibility, the terrifying, thrilling possibility, that Emma might be the one. The one who could finally tame the beast. The one who could finally make him whole.

He arrived in town just as the first hint of dawn was beginning to paint the eastern sky. The town was quiet, the streets empty, a ghost town in the pre-dawn light. He walked down the main street, his boots echoing on the wooden sidewalks, a lone figure in a sleeping town.

He found himself in front of Madame Lucy's, a small, unassuming house with a single red light burning above the door. It was a beacon in the darkness, a promise of sanctuary.

He knocked on the door, his knuckles rapping a sharp, insistent rhythm against the wood. He didn't know if she'd be awake, if she'd even let him in. But he had to try.

The door opened a few minutes later, and there she was. Lucy. A large, imposing woman with a smile that was welcoming. She was wearing a silk robe, her hair a mass of soft, gray curls, her eyes a sharp dark gray that seemed to see right through him.

"Smoke," she said. "It's been a while."

He didn't say anything. He just stood there, his body a tall, lean shadow in the doorway, his eyes an intense void.

She sighed, a long, weary sound. "Come on in, baby. I got a pot of coffee on."

He followed her inside, the air thick with the scent of perfume and incense. She led him to the back of the house, to her office, a small, intimate space with a big, oak desk, a comfortable-looking chair, and a small table with a coffee pot and two cups.

She poured him a cup of coffee, the black, bitter liquid a welcome, familiar comfort. She handed it to him.

He sat down in the chair, his body a long, loose-limbed sprawl, his eyes taking in the room. He could see the stacks of money on her desk, the neat, orderly piles of cash that were a testament to her success. He could see the pictures on the wall, faded, black-and-white photographs of a younger Lucy, a woman with an ambitious look in her eyes, a woman who was destined for bigger things.

She sat down behind her desk, her eyes fixed on him. "So," she said, her voice a low, calm rumble. "What's on your mind, Smoke? You look like a man who's got a problem."

He took a sip of his coffee, the hot, bitter liquid a welcome distraction. He didn't know how to begin. He didn't know how to put into words the chaos that was raging inside him.

He just looked at her, and she knew.

She leaned back in her chair, her eyes softening, a knowing, almost maternal look in them. "It's Emma, ain't it?" she asked, her voice a soft, gentle whisper.

He didn't answer. He just stared back, his silence a confirmation that everything had changed.

"She got to you, didn't she?" she asked, not as a question, but as a statement of fact.

The coffee in his cup had gone cold, but Smoke didn't notice. He just stared into the dark, bitter liquid, his mind a million miles away, or maybe a million miles in the past. Lucy let him have his silence. She knew Smoke. She knew that silence was his language, his way of processing the world. She knew that if she pushed, he'd just shut down, retreat into that quiet, impenetrable fortress he kept around his heart. So she waited, her patient, knowing gaze a comforting weight in the quiet room.

Finally, he looked up, his eyes a dark, turbulent sea. "I ain't never been like this," he said, his voice a low, rough sound. "Obsessed. It's a weakness."

Lucy leaned back in her chair, the old leather groaning under her weight. "Or maybe it's a strength," she countered, her voice a soft, warm purr. "Maybe it's just a sign that you're finally ready for something more than just a quick, dirty fuck."

Smoke let out a short, humorless laugh. "There ain't never been nothing quick or dirty about it with me, Lucy, and you know it."

She smiled, a slow, knowing curve of her lips. "That's for damn sure. I remember the first time I saw you. You were just a boy then, but you had the eyes of an old man. You and your brother, two wild, reckless niggas, tearing up New York like you owned the place."

The memory washed over him, a wave of nostalgia so strong it was almost physical. He could see it so clearly, the grimy, rain-slicked streets of Harlem, the sound of jazz spilling out of the speakeasies, the smell of gin and desperation.

Flashback: New York, 1920.

The club was a smoky, chaotic mess of music and mayhem. The air was thick with the scent of cheap perfume and expensive whiskey, a heady cocktail that was the lifeblood of the city. Smoke was just a boy then, barely twenty-two, all lean muscle and quiet intensity. He and Stack were making a name for themselves, but Smoke was still figuring out his place in the world, still figuring out the strange, dark hunger that lived in his gut.

He was in Lucy's back room, a space as opulent as it was discreet. The girl was named Pearl, a sweet, soft-eyed thing with skin like caramel and a body that was still new to the trade. She was nervous, her hands trembling slightly as she poured him a drink. 

He didn't know what he wanted, not exactly. He just knew he wanted something more than the usual wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. He wanted to see what would happen if he pushed, if he tested the boundaries of this little transaction.

He took the silk scarf from around his neck, the fabric soft and worn. "Tie this around your eyes," he said, his voice a hesitant rumble, a boy trying on a man's coat and finding it didn't quite fit yet.

Pearl's eyes widened, a flicker of fear and intrigue warring in their soft depths. She was a sweet, innocent thing, new to the life and new to the strange, dark hunger she saw in this quiet boy's eyes. But she did as she was told, her movements hesitant as she tied the scarf around her head. The world went black, and her other senses sharpened. She could hear the low, steady rhythm of his breathing, feel the heat of his body as he moved closer to her.

He didn't touch her at first. He just talked to her, his voice a hypnotic murmur that was both soothing and unsettling. He told her what he was going to do, his words a slow exploration of her deepest, darkest fears and desires. He was testing the waters, dipping his toes into the cold, dark ocean of his own nascent desires.

Then he touched her. His touch was a light, teasing caress, a feather-light stroke of his fingers against her skin. He was clumsy, uncertain, a young man exploring a new, dangerous territory, his actions a series of hesitant, experimental forays into the unknown. He was learning his body was a vessel for a hunger he didn't yet understand.

He brought her to the edge, his touch a masterful, if inexperienced, dance of pleasure and denial. He had her whimpering, a soft, desperate sound that was music to his ears. He was pushing her, testing her, seeing how much she could take.

Then he introduced the pain.

He had her bend over the side of the bed, her body a stiff, trembling arc of anticipation. He had his belt in his hand, the leather a familiar, comforting weight. He didn't hit her hard, not at first. He just tapped her, a light, teasing rhythm that was more of a question than a statement.

She flinched, a soft, startled gasp escaping her lips. He could feel her fear. He could see her arousal, a slick, wet heat that was a statement to her own dark, hidden desires.

He hit her again, a little harder this time, a sharp, stinging blow that left a faint, red mark on her skin. She cried out, a sharp, surprised sound that was a mixture of pain and pleasure.

He was learning. He was learning that he loved causing pain, that he loved the sound of a woman's cry, the sight of her flesh reddening under his hand. He was learning that he loved the power, the control, the absolute, undeniable dominance that came with it.

He hit her again and again, his blows a sharp, stinging rhythm that was both painful and pleasurable. He was pushing her, testing her, seeing how far he could go. He was learning his own limits, and hers.

He praised her, his voice an encouraging murmur. "That's a good girl," he said, his words soothing on her raw, wounded flesh. "You're taking it so well. You're such a good girl for me."

He was learning that praise was a powerful tool, a way to break down a woman's defenses, to make her more pliable, more willing to accept the pain, to crave it even. He was learning that he could make a woman love the pain, that he could make her beg for it.

When he finally entered her, it was with a clumsy, desperate urgency. He was a young man, a boy, really, lost in a world of new and overwhelming sensations. He fucked her hard, his movements a frantic, desperate rhythm that was as much about his own pleasure as it was about hers.

When he was done, he untied her, his movements gentle, his touch a soft, comforting caress. He held her in his arms, her body a warm, soft weight against his chest. He had broken her all the way, but he had also healed her. He had shown her a glimpse of darkness, but he had also shown her the light. He had pushed her to the edge, and he had also brought her back.

And in the quiet aftermath, as he held her trembling body in his arms, he knew. He knew what fed him. It wasn't just the pleasure. It was the pain. It was the power. It was the undeniable control that came with it.

"He was a quiet one, even then," Lucy said, her voice a soft, nostalgic sigh. "But his eyes… they told a different story. They were always watching, always calculating. He had a taste for the taboo, a need to push the boundaries, to see how far he could go."

Smoke nodded, his expression unreadable. "I was just curious."

"Curious?" Lucy laughed. "Baby, you were a lot more than just curious. You were a connoisseur in the making. A man who saw the world as a buffet, and you wanted to taste every single dish, even the ones that were supposed to be off-limits."

Flashback: Chicago, 1931.

The city was a whirlwind of jazz and gin, of gangsters and politicians, a place where power was a currency that flowed as freely as the liquor. Smoke was a man now, his body a lean, hard map of muscle and scars. The boy from New York was gone, replaced by a quiet storm who knew his own nature, knew exactly what fed the beast in his gut. He was a connoisseur of the taboo, a man who had sampled every flavor of pleasure and found the ones that tasted of fear and submission to be the most satisfying.

The girl of the night was a fiery, red-headed woman named Ruby with honey-bronze skin and eyes that held a challenge. She was a veteran of the life, a woman who had seen it all, done it all. She was a loud-mouthed thing, always running her mouth about how she could handle any man, any desire. She had heard the whispers about Smoke, about his darkness, and she had come to him, a confident smirk on her face, telling him she was the one who could finally tame him.

"Ain't nothing you can do to me that I can't handle, baby," she said as her hand slid up his chest. "I'm the one who can take all of you."

He had her in his room now, the air thick with her natural scent and the sound of his voice. He had his paddle in his hand, a black wooden paddle with red tape wrapped around the handle. It was his favorite toy, an extension of his own will, and he loved the sound it made against a woman's flesh, the sharp, satisfying crack that was a prelude to her whimpers.

He had her bent over his knee, her body stiff, trembling with anticipation. He was spanking her, his blows a sharp, stinging rhythm that was both painful and pleasurable. But she wasn't whimpering. She was moaning, a sound that was a challenge in itself.

"Is that all you got?" she taunted, her voice a hoarse, desperate rasp. "I thought you were supposed to be a man."

He smiled, a slow, dangerous curve of his lips. He loved this part. He loved breaking the confident ones, the ones who thought they could handle him. He loved flipping the script, showing them that they were just as weak, just as pliable, as the sweet, innocent ones.

He stopped spanking her, his hand coming to rest on her reddened ass, a possessive, proprietary touch. "You think you're in control?" he murmured, his voice hypnotic. "You think you're the one calling the shots?"

He stood up, and He unbuckled his belt, the sound a sharp, metallic tear in the quiet air. He pulled his dick out that was already hard and throbbing.

"Open your mouth," he commanded. His tone was deep and authoritative.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide, a flicker of fear in their depths. But she was a proud woman, and she wasn't about to back down. She opened her mouth, her tongue a pink, wet invitation.

He slid his dick into her mouth, his hips moving in a slow rhythm. He wasn't fucking her throat, not yet. He was just letting her get used to his size, to the weight of him on her tongue, to the taste of his pre-cum. He was playing with her, stretching her jaw, pushing her to the brink, seeing how much she could take.

He could feel her struggling, her throat constricting, her gag reflex kicking in. He could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, a hot, salty trickle that ran down her cheeks. He loved the tears. He loved the sight of her crying, the sound of her choking, the feel of her struggling to take him. It was a power trip, a rush of dominance that was better than any drug, any drink.

"That's it," he murmured. "Take it all. Take every inch of me."

He finally gave her what he wanted. He pulled his dick from her mouth, a thick, hard shaft glistening with her saliva. A string of spit connected them for a moment before breaking. He slapped his heavy dick across her cheek, a wet, sharp sound that was both a punishment and a caress. Her head snapped to the side, a gasp of shock and humiliation escaping her lips.

"Look at you now," he growled. "All that big talk. 'I can handle you.' 'I'm the one who can take all of you.' Where's all that confidence now, Ruby? Where's all that fire?"

"You're on your knees, just like I knew you'd be," he continued, "You're crying, just like I knew you would. You're begging, just like I knew you would. You're a mess, a beautiful, broken mess."

He grabbed a handful of her hair, his fingers tangling in the thick, red strands. He pulled her head back, forcing her to look up at him. He could see the tears welling up in her eyes. "Open your mouth," he commanded, his tone leaving no room for argument.

She hesitated, a flicker of defiance in her eyes. He tightened his grip on her hair, a sharp, painful tug that made her gasp.

"I said, open your fucking mouth," he snarled.

She opened her mouth. He slid his dick back into her mouth, his hips moving slowly. He wasn't just fucking her throat anymore. He was pushing her.

He fucked her throat, his movements a relentless, demanding rhythm that was brutal and beautiful. His hands were tangled in her hair, using it like reins to guide her, to control the depth and speed of his thrusts. His heavy balls slapped against her chin with every punishing drive, a wet, rhythmic percussion that was the soundtrack to her undoing. He was pushing her to the brink, testing her, seeing how much she could take, and the answer was, not nearly as much as she'd boasted.

He pulled out just before he came, a thick, hard shaft glistening with her saliva. He fisted his dick, his movements a few sharp, decisive strokes. "Look at me," he commanded. Her tear-filled eyes, wide and dazed, locked onto his. He came with a shuddering groan, a hot, thick flood that painted her face. Ropes of his cum striped her cheeks, her forehead, her lips, a sticky, humiliating mark of his ownership. A final drop clung to the red tape on the handle of his paddle, a perfect punctuation mark.

She collapsed on the floor, a trembling, spent mess. He looked down at her, his expression unreadable. He reached into his drawer and pulled out a simple leather collar, a plain, unadorned band of black leather with a small, silver ring in the front. He knelt beside her and fastened it around her neck, the leather a snug, possessive fit.

"Get up," he said.

She struggled to her feet, her body aching, her face a sticky mess. He opened the door, a silent, unspoken command. He didn't give her a chance to clean up. He didn't give her a chance to regain her composure. He just sent her out into the hall, his cum still drying on her face, the collar a visible symbol of her submission.

The other girls saw her, of course. They saw the mess, the collar, the look of defeat in her eyes. They saw the proof of what happened when a woman lied, when a woman said she could handle him when she couldn't. It was a lesson, a public, humiliating lesson that was more effective than any words could ever be.

He had only shown her ten percent of what he was capable of. And he had broken her completely.

"I had to train them, you know," Lucy said, her voice a soft, confessional whisper. "I had to teach them how to handle you. How to handle your intensity, your hunger. I had to teach them about bondage, about voyeurism, about edging, about anal play, how to take the pain of your paddle. I had to teach them how to be a vessel for your desires, how to withstand the force of your will."

Smoke looked at her. "You didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did," she said, her voice firm, her eyes soft. "I've seen what you do to the ones who aren't prepared. I've seen the broken bodies, the shattered minds. You're a force of nature, Smoke. A beautiful, destructive force. And I had to protect my girls from you."

He looked down at his hands, his big, strong hands that had caused so much pain, so much pleasure. He thought about the women he had been with, the ones he had broken, the ones who had run away screaming. He thought about the hunger that had always been a part of him, a dark, insatiable beast that lived in his gut.

"None of them ever lasted," he admitted, his voice a low, rough sound, a rare, unguarded moment of vulnerability. "They all broke. Eventually."

The silence that followed Smoke's confession was heavy, thick with the ghosts of a hundred broken women. It was a silence that smelled of stale whiskey, a silence that was filled with the echoes of their whimpers and their sobs. Lucy looked at him, her sharp, knowing eyes missing nothing. She saw the tension in his shoulders, the storm in his eyes, the subtle, almost imperceptible tremor in his hands. He was a man on the edge, a man who was teetering on the brink of a precipice, and she knew that Emma was the one who had pushed him there.

"So," she said, her voice a low, cautious rumble. "Tell me about her."

Smoke looked up. He didn't say anything for a long time, just stared into the cold, bitter dregs of his coffee. He was trying to find the words, trying to put into words the chaos that was raging in his soul.

"It wasn't just the dirty talk," he said. "I've heard it all before. I've heard every filthy fantasy, every nasty desire, every dark, twisted dream a man could have. I've heard it from the sweet, innocent ones, and I've heard it from the confident, experienced ones. It's all just noise, just a bunch of words they think I want to hear."

He paused, his gaze drifting towards the door, towards the hall, towards her room. "But with Emma… it was different. It wasn't just talk. It was… real. She wasn't just reciting lines, trying to say what she thought would get me off. She was a co-author of the fantasy. She was building it with me, brick by brick, word by word."

He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped together in a gesture of supplication. "She sold me a dream. A life where I was the king, and she was my queen. A life where I was the man, the provider, the protector. A life where I was loved, not for what I could do, but for who I was."

He looked up at Lucy. "And I believed her. I believed every word. I believed it because she believed it. She wasn't just selling a dream; she was living it. She was in it with me, a hundred percent."

He told her about the moment after, the moment when the fantasy had given way to reality. He told her about the vulnerability, the shame, the raw, embarrassing mess. He told her about the way she had held him, her arms a warm, comforting weight, her touch a soft, healing caress.

"She didn't judge me," he said. "She didn't flinch. She didn't pull away. She just held me, her body a warm, solid weight against mine. She just accepted me like she could see the man inside me, and she wasn't afraid."

Lucy leaned back in her chair, the old leather groaning under her weight. She could hear the conviction in his voice, the unvarnished truth of it. She could see the fire in his eyes, a dangerous, terrifying fire that she hadn't seen before. It wasn't just hunger. It was a challenge to her, to her girls, to the world.

"Emma's strong, Smoke," she said cautiously. "Stronger than most. I've seen her take on men twice her size, men with appetites that would make a normal woman run screaming. She's got a spine of steel, and a mind like a steel trap. She's a survivor."

She paused, her eyes fixed on his. "But you… you're a category all your own. You don't just play with these women. You unmake them. You take them apart, piece by piece, and you put them back together in your own image. You break them, Smoke. You always do."

Smoke shook his head, a slow, deliberate movement. "Not her," he said, his voice a low, confident rumble. "Not Emma."

"She's the one," he said, the words carrying a weight of finality, a declaration of intent that was both a promise and a threat. "She's the one who can take everything I have to offer. She's the one who can handle my darkness, my hunger, my rage. She's the one who won't break."

Lucy studied him, her sharp, knowing eyes missing nothing. She saw the fire in his eyes, the dangerous fire that was burning so bright it was almost blinding. She saw the conviction in his voice, the truth of it. She saw the challenge that he was throwing down, not just to her, but to the world.

She sighed, a long, weary sound that was heavy with the weight of her years. She had seen a lot of men come and go, a lot of battles won and lost. She had seen a lot of hearts broken, a lot of lives destroyed. But she had never seen anything like this. She had never seen a man so consumed, so obsessed, so completely lost.

"Her room's at the end of the hall," she said, her voice a low, reluctant concession. "But you go in there knowing this ain't just a dream you're buying anymore. This is a test. A test for her, and a test for you."

The door to Emma’s room wasn’t locked. It never was. In Lucy’s house, a locked door was bad for business, a sign that a girl was either trying to hide something or trying to keep something out. Smoke let himself in, his movements silent and sure.

She was awake, sitting up in bed, in another of her thin silk robes that clung to her curves, a book resting in her lap. The lamp on the nightstand cast a soft, warm glow over her, painting her skin in shades of gold and honey. She looked like a painting, a masterpiece of quiet, sensual beauty. But Smoke knew better. He knew that beneath that calm, serene exterior was a fire, an untamed spirit that was just as hungry as his own.

She looked up when he came in, her eyes a little wide, a little surprised. But she wasn’t afraid. She was cautious, but there was a flicker of something else in her eyes, something that looked a lot like anticipation. She felt the tension tighten around them. This wasn't a client looking for a quick, dirty fuck. This was something else. Something more.

He didn't say anything. He didn't toss a hundred-dollar bill on the nightstand. He just stood there in the doorway. He was watching her, his eyes taking in every detail, every curve, every nuance of her being. He was a man who was used to being in control, a man who was used to taking what he wanted. But with her, he was a man who was willing to wait, to watch, to savor the anticipation.

He moved to the bed, his movements a slow prowl. He didn't kiss her. He didn't touch her sexually at first. He just pulled her into his arms, his body a heavy, grounding weight. He held her for a long moment, his face buried in her hair, his breath a warm, steady caress against her skin.

"I want to show you things," he said, his voice a hypnotic whisper that was a promise and a threat. "Things I've never shown anyone. Things I've never even shown myself."

He pulled back, his eyes locking onto hers. "I want to explore every part of you, Emma. Every fantasy, every desire, every dark, twisted corner of your soul. I want to see what makes you cum, and what makes you scream."

He pulled her to him, his movements quick and confident, a motion that left her breathless. He laid her across his lap, her body a warm, willing weight against his. He spread her ass, his hands a possessive, proprietary touch that was both exciting and a little scary.

"This is mine, too," he whispered. "Every inch of you."

He teased her, his fingers circling the tight ring, not entering, just teasing the territory. He could feel her trembling, a soft, shuddering gasp escaping her lips. He could smell the heat of her, the slick, wet heat of her pussy, a sweet scent that was driving him insane.

He slid a finger into her pussy, his touch a skilled exploration of her most intimate depths. He was curious about seeing how she would react, seeing how much she could handle. He was a man who loved to push boundaries, a man who loved to test limits, and she was the ultimate test.

He used her own wetness as lube, his fingers sliding and gliding, a slick, easy motion that was both intimate and invasive. He slid a finger into her ass, a slow penetration that was painful and pleasurable. He could feel her muscles clenching, a reflexive, involuntary spasm that was a testament to her neediness.

He was playing with her, fingering her ass, his fingers in a slow rhythm while his other hand was busy with her pussy.

She wasn't new to this. He could tell. She was taking it, her body a willing, eager vessel for his desires. She was moaning, a sound that was music to his heart. She was pushing back against him, her body a silent, demanding plea for more.

"You like that, don't you?" he murmured, his voice a low, teasing rumble. "You like it when I play with your ass."

"You damn right I do," she shot back, her voice a hoarse, desperate rasp. "But you're gonna have to do better than that if you want to make me cum."

He laughed, a low, throaty sound that was a concession. "Oh, is that right?" he said. "You think you can handle more?"

"I can handle whatever you got," she taunted. "But I'm not sure you can handle me."

He slid another finger into her ass, he was stretching her, filling her, his fingers a thick, hard presence. She was pushing back against him, her body matching his rhythm. She was close, so close, her body trembling with tension.

He could feel it, the subtle shift in her breathing, the frantic, desperate rhythm of her heart. He could feel the tension building, a delicious ache that was a precursor to the explosion. He was a master of his craft, a man who knew a woman's body better than she knew it herself.

He curled his fingers, a masterful, skilled touch that was both a question and an answer. He found that spot, that magical, elusive spot that was the key to her pleasure. He pressed down, a firm, insistent pressure that made her body curl across his lap.

She came with a shuddering scream. Her body arched, and trembling with pleasure, her muscles clenching around his fingers.

When she was done, she collapsed against him. He held her for a long moment; it was his turn to hold her, his face buried in her hair, his breath a warm, steady caress against her skin. He could feel her heart beating against his skin.

He knew it with a certainty that settled deep in his bones, a truth as solid and unyielding as the earth itself. All the others, all the ones who had come before her, they were just echoes, fleeting ghosts in a long, empty hall. They were tests, failed experiments, fragile things that had shattered under the weight of his desires.

But her… she was different. She wasn't just a vessel for his hunger; she was its mirror. She was the one who could take everything he had to offer, the one who could handle his darkness, his rage, the twisted, beautiful monster that lived in his gut. She was the one who wouldn't just survive the storm, but would dance in the rain.

It became their unspoken ritual. Smoke would tell Stack he was going for his "nightly walk around town," a necessary stroll to clear his head of the day's noise. Stack, knowing his brother better than he knew himself, would just nod, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. They both knew where he was really going. He was going to her.

Emma's room was a sanctuary of soft, sensual things. The bed was a massive, four-poster queen, draped in deep red velvet that looked like spilled wine in the low lamplight. The sheets were black silk, a cool, slippery contrast to the warmth of her skin. The air always smelled of her—jasmine and warm amber, soft at first, then deeper the longer he breathed her in.

Tonight, she was waiting for him. She was naked, lying in the exact middle of the bed, her legs spread wide, a brazen invitation. Her pussy was open and wet, glistening in the soft light, a feast laid out just for him. She had known he was coming. She had prepared herself for him.

He didn't touch her at first. He just stood at the foot of the bed, his eyes taking in the sight of her, his body a hard, tense line of need. He looked at her like a man who had just been handed exactly what he wanted.

He finally moved, crawling onto the bed, his movements a slow prowl. He settled between her legs, his hands tracing the soft, sensitive skin of her inner thighs. He was going to play with her, he decided. He was going to see how long he could make her last, how much she could take.

There was nothing rushed about his touch. He took his time, letting anticipation build until even the smallest caress felt significant. He teased her, his fingers circling her swollen clit, a light, feathery touch that was more frustrating than satisfying.

"So, Emma," he said. The honeyed words dripping from his lips contradicted the demanding pressure of his fingers against hers. "You ever think about what you'd be doing if you weren't in this life? If you weren't selling pussy to niggas like me?"

Her mind was a mess of pleasure and confusion. She was trying to focus on his question, trying to form a coherent thought, but his fingers were doing things to her that made it impossible to think. "I… I don't know," she stammered, her voice a hoarse, desperate whisper.

He laughed, "Come on now," he teased. "A smart girl like you must have some kind of dream. Something you'd rather be doing than lying on your back for a living."

She tried to answer, she really did. But then his fingers found a particularly sensitive spot, and she couldn't stop the moan that escaped her lips. She rocked her hips against his hand, a desperate, involuntary motion.

He stopped. His fingers went still, a sudden, shocking absence of sensation that made her gasp. "Now, now," he said, his voice a warning rumble. "I didn't say you could do that. I'm in charge here. You move when I say you can move."

He reached up and pinched her nipple, a sharp, punishing twist that was meant to be a reprimand. But to his surprise, it didn't make her cry out in pain. The sensation pulled a deep moan from her, the sound escaping before she could stop it.

He was confused. He was the one who was supposed to be in control, the one who was supposed to be doling out the pleasure and the pain. But she was turning the tables on him, turning his punishment into her reward. She could see the confusion on his face.

She smirked, a slow, confident curve of her lips. "What's wrong, Smoke?" she taunted. "Can't handle a little pain?"

She took matters into her own hands, literally. She slid her own hand down her body, her fingers finding her slick, swollen folds. She started to play with herself, her movements slow and sensual.

"I had a dream about you," she said, her voice a direct counterpoint to his own. "A dream about you fucking me on the balcony of the juke joint, right there for everyone to see. Bending me over the railing, my dress hiked up around my waist, your dick buried so deep in me I could feel it on my tongue."

The thought of it, the image of her bent over the railing, her body a public spectacle, for the taking, made his mouth water. He was an exhibitionist at heart, and the idea of it was a turn-on like no other.

He pulled his dick out, his movements a desperate, urgent rhythm. He started to stroke it, his eyes fixed on her, on the sight of her playing with herself, on the sound of her voice describing her dream.

His movements became jerky and desperate as the tension mounted, his body begging for the tantalizingly close release.

Just as he was about to cum, she stopped. She slid off the bed and onto her knees in front of him. She took his dick into her mouth, her lips a soft, wet brand against his skin.

She deepthroated him, her mouth a hot, tight, welcoming heat that was better than anything he had ever felt. She took him all in, her nose pressed against his stomach, her throat a convulsing, massaging presence that was pushing him to the brink.

She reached up and pinched his balls, a sharp, punishing twist that sent a jolt of pain shooting through his body. But it wasn't just pain. It was a pleasure so intense, so overwhelming, it was a revelation. It was the perfect blend of pain and pleasure, the dark, twisted combination that he hadn't known he'd been searching for his entire life.

He came with a strangled groan, his hips jerking, a frantic, uncontrollable spasm as his seed pulsed from him, filling her mouth in a series of violent, possessive spurts.

"Fuck... Emma, take it," he choked out, his voice a ragged, desperate rasp. "Take all of it. Every... last... drop."

She didn't pull away. She took it all, her throat working, her lips sealed tight around the base of his dick as she swallowed every last drop. When he was finally spent, his body a trembling, hollowed-out mess, she slowly pulled back.

She opened her mouth and showed him, a wicked, shameless grin on her face. His cum was a thick, pearly pool on her tongue, a tangible proof of his surrender. For a second, his lungs seemed to forget what they were supposed to do, his spent dick giving a pathetic little twitch at the sight.

"God-fucking-damn," he breathed, his voice a reverent whisper. "You nasty motherfucker."

She just smirked, a confident curve of her lips. Then, with a flick of her tongue, she swirled it around her mouth, coating her lips, making them glisten. It was the dirtiest thing he had ever seen. It was a declaration of ownership, a claim she was staking on him as much as he was staking on her.

He collapsed on the bed, his chest heaving, his mind blank. He looked at her, his eyes wide with a sense of awe. He saw her then, not as a challenge to be broken, not as an innocent to be corrupted. She wasn't weak. She wasn't a victim. She was a force of nature like him, a dark, twisted goddess who was his perfect match.

He had spent his life breaking things, convinced that his pleasure was found in the shattering of another's will. But she had shown him the truth. The ultimate pleasure wasn't in breaking. It was in finding something that wouldn't. And in that moment, he knew. She was the one who wouldn't break.

The walk back to the property was a journey through a transformed landscape. The night air, which usually felt cool and indifferent against his skin, now seemed to carry a residual warmth, a lingering echo of the heat he’d just left behind. With each step Smoke took, his long legs were eating up the dirt road with an easy, confident stride. There was no restlessness in him now, no tension waiting for a release. There was only a profound, unsettling stillness.

He was a man who had just found a religion he never knew he was looking for.

His mind wasn't racing; it was settling. The chaos that usually lived in his head, the constant, low-grade hum of calculations and threats, had been replaced by a single, repeating image: Emma on her knees, her lips swollen and glistening with his cum, a wicked smirk on her face as she showed him what she’d taken from him. She hadn’t just taken his seed; she had taken his control, his certainty, his entire understanding of his own nature, and had turned it inside out.

She ain’t like the others, the thought echoed in the quiet of his mind. It wasn’t a new thought, but tonight it felt like a fundamental truth, like the discovery of a new law of physics. The others, they were vessels. Empty things I poured myself into until they cracked. Ruby, Pearl… all of ‘em. They saw the hunger, and they were scared. Or they were arrogant, thought they could tame it. They were all just different versions of the same fucking problem.

But her… Emma. She saw the hunger, and she smiled. She didn’t just see it; she matched it. She got on her knees and looked up at me like I was the goddamn feast, and she was just as hungry as I was.

A dark chuckle rumbled in his chest. It was the sound of a man who had just been outmaneuvered in a game he thought he’d mastered, and found he loved it.

He crested the final hill, and the main house came into view, a dark, imposing shape against the moonlit sky. A single lamp burned on the porch, a warm, welcoming beacon. And sitting in one of the rocking chairs, a silhouette of lazy power, was Stack.

He was waiting.

Smoke didn’t alter his pace. He just kept walking, his boots making soft, rhythmic sounds on the packed earth. As he got closer, he could see the glint of his brother’s eyes.

Stack didn’t say anything as Smoke mounted the porch steps. He just rocked slowly, the chair creaking a soft complaint in the quiet night. He took a long drag from the cigarette dangling from his fingers, the cherry flaring bright before he exhaled a plume of smoke into the cool air.

"You been feeding that hunger again," Stack finally said, his voice a low, teasing rumble that cut through the stillness. He didn't look at Smoke, just stared out into the darkness. "You look like a man who just ate a whole damn feast."

Smoke stopped beside the railing, leaning his forearms against the cool, smooth wood. He didn't deny it. He didn't get defensive. He just looked out at the same darkness his brother was watching. "She's different, Stack."

That made Stack turn his head. He studied his brother’s face in the dim light, his sharp eyes missing nothing. He saw the change immediately. The hard, sharp edges of Smoke’s intensity were still there, the danger that was as much a part of him as his own skin. But they were different now. They weren't jagged and random, threatening to cut anyone who got too close. They were honed and focused, all pointing in one direction. For the first time in his life, Smoke looked like a man with a purpose that had nothing to do with money or mayhem.

Stack saw a contentment in his brother that he had never seen before, a deep, quiet peace that came not from a lack of conflict, but from finding a worthy opponent. A worthy partner.

"Different how?" Stack asked, his tone losing some of its teasing edge, becoming more serious.

"She don't break," Smoke said simply. The words hung in the air, heavy with meaning.

Stack let out a low whistle, shaking his head slowly. He crushed his cigarette out on the railing. "Well, I'll be damned." He leaned back in his chair, rocking again. "Just be careful," he said, his tone all seriousness now. "A fire that hot can burn the whole damn house down."

Smoke nodded, a silent acknowledgment of the warning. He understood his brother’s concern. He was a fire, yes. Always had been. But for the first time, he felt like he'd found the one person in the world who wasn't just kindling.

Smoke let his brother’s words settle in the quiet night air. The warning was a familiar one, a variation of the same thing Lucy had said. But it didn’t land the same way coming from Stack. It wasn’t a fear of destruction; it was a recognition of power.

He turned from the railing, his back against the cool wood as he finally looked at his brother. Stack was watching him, his expression unreadable in the shadows, but Smoke could feel the weight of his gaze, the unspoken questions hanging between them.

Smoke pushed off the rail and moved to the other rocking chair, sinking into it with a heavy sigh. The chair groaned under his weight, picking up a slow, lazy rhythm that matched his brother’s.

"How'd you know?" Smoke asked, his voice low, cutting through the creak of the rockers. "With Cherry. How'd you know she was the one for you?"

Stack’s head tilted slightly, a flicker of surprise in his eyes. He wasn't expecting that. He expected a deflection, a change of subject, not a question that cut so close to his own bones. He took a moment, considering his answer.

"Man," Stack breathed out, a short, humorless laugh escaping him. "That's a loaded-ass question."

"Wasn't meant to be," Smoke said, his tone even. "I'm serious. You were never the type to settle down. Shit, you could barely keep a woman for a week, let alone long enough to put a baby in her. What made her different?"

Stack stopped rocking. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, the cigarette forgotten between his fingers. The mood shifted, the playful teasing giving way to a rare, raw moment of fraternal honesty.

"Because with them other women," Stack started, his voice a low, thoughtful rumble, "it was about what I could take. What they could give me. A good time, a warm bed, a soft place to land for a few hours. It was a transaction. I gave 'em money, or a good time, or some damn attention, and they gave me pussy. It was simple. It was clean."

He paused, looking down at his own hands, as if seeing them for the first time. "But with Cherry… it ain't like that. It ain't clean at all. It's messy. It's complicated. It's… everything."

He looked back at Smoke, his eyes intense, burning with a conviction that was absolute. "The first time I saw her, back in Clarksdale, she was just standing there. Quiet. Looking like the whole damn world was sitting on her shoulders. And I just… I knew. I knew I wanted to see her smile. I knew I wanted to be the one to make her carry less."

A slow, genuine smile spread across his face, a look so tender it was almost foreign on his sharp features. "When I found her again in Florida, pregnant and alone… something in me just clicked into place. It wasn't a choice. It was a goddamn command. She was mine. That baby was mine. That life was mine. It wasn't about taking anymore. It was about giving. It was about building something. A house. A family. A future."

He leaned back, resuming his slow, steady rocking. "So, to answer your question, nigga… what made her different? Everything. The way she looks at me when she thinks I ain't watching. The way she talks to Silas. The way she can stand up to me without being scared. The way she loves me, even when I'm being a possessive bastard. She's the first thing in my whole life that ever felt like… home."

Smoke listened, his expression unreadable. He heard the words, but he felt the truth behind them. He felt the shift in his brother, the fundamental change that had turned a lone wolf into the head of a pack.

He thought about Emma. He thought about the way she had looked at him, the way she had challenged him, the way she had taken his control and handed it back to him, shattered and remade. He thought about the fire in her, the darkness in her, the strength that was a mirror to his own.

He wasn't building a house with her. He wasn't planning a future with picket fences and Sunday dinners. He was walking into an abyss with her, a beautiful, terrifying, bottomless pit of pleasure and pain. And he couldn't fucking wait.

"Yeah," Smoke said, his voice a low, decisive rumble. "I get that."

The air in Emma’s room was different tonight. It wasn’t thick with the scent of spent lust or the sharp, electric tang of adrenaline. It was softer, warmer. It smelled of her skin, clean and sweet, and the faint, lingering trace of his own tobacco. For the first time, they hadn’t fucked. They hadn’t pushed each other to the brink or tested the limits of pain and pleasure. They had just laid there, a tangled mess of limbs in the middle of her big bed, his arms wrapped around her, her head resting on his chest, listening to the steady, reassuring beat of his heart until she fell into a deep, trusting sleep.

Smoke watched her for a long time after her breathing evened out, the rise and fall of her body a slow, hypnotic rhythm against his side. In the soft glow of the lamplight, her face was peaceful, unguarded. There was no challenge in her eyes, no smirk on her lips. There was just Emma.

He knew he had to move, to get out before the sun came up and broke the spell of the night. Carefully, he disentangled himself from her, his movements slow so he wouldn't wake her. He pulled his clothes on in the quiet dark, the fabric a rough, unwelcome intrusion against his skin. He took one last look at her, a small, tight knot forming in his chest as he thought about the conversation he had with Stack. Smoke thought about how Stack called Cherry home, and he wounders is that what he feels when he's with Emma, and then he slipped out of the room.

The hallway was dimly lit, a long, narrow corridor that was usually quiet at this hour. But not tonight.

Lucy was waiting for him.

She was standing by a small table against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest, her robe wrapped around her frame. She wasn't looking at him, but he knew she had been listening. She always was.

He didn't stop. He just kept walking, his long, silent stride eating up the distance to the stairs.

"Smoke," she said, her voice so serious that it stopped him in his tracks.

He turned slowly, his expression unreadable. "Lucy."

She pushed herself off the wall and walked towards him. She stopped in front of him, her knowing eyes saw the shift in his energy, the softening of the hard edges that usually defined him.

"I need you to listen to me," she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. "And I need you to really hear me."

He just stared at her.

"I've seen men like you before," she continued, her tone grave. "Men with a hunger that can never be satisfied. Men who are always looking for the next thrill, the next high, the next fix. You think she's the one, the one who can finally take it all. The one who can finally fill that hole inside you."

He didn't respond, but she could see the flicker of recognition in his eyes.

"But what if you're wrong?" she pressed, her voice rising with a sense of urgency. "What if you're just seeing what you want to see? What if you break her, too? What if you destroy the one thing you think is unbreakable?"

She reached out and put a hand on his arm, her touch a rare, maternal gesture. "I've seen the damage you can do, Smoke. I've seen the shattered minds, the broken bodies. I've seen the way you leave 'em, a hollowed-out shell of who they used to be. I'm afraid for her. And I'm afraid for you."

She was trying to save them both, he realized. She was trying to save them from the inevitable destruction she saw coming, the train wreck that was the only possible outcome of a love like theirs.

He looked down at her hand on his arm, then back up at her face. His expression was still unreadable, a mask of quiet intensity.

"She won't break," he said, his voice confident, the opposite of her fearful urgency.

Lucy’s eyes widened, a flicker of disbelief in their depths. "You don't know that."

He smiled, a slow, dangerous curve of his lips. "Oh, but I do," he said. "She's not like the others. She loves the pain. She loves the pleasure it brings. She's a fucking abyss, just like me. And when two abysses come together, they don't break. They just get deeper."

He leaned in a little closer, his voice dropping low. "She's not the one who's going to break, Lucy. She's the one who's going to enjoy the fall."

The statement was so unexpected, so arrogant, that it left her speechless. She just stood there, her mouth slightly agape, her mind a whirlwind of shock and disbelief. She had seen a lot of things in her life, but she had never seen anything like this. She had never seen a man so completely lost in the dark, and so happy to be there.

The long night had left a dull ache behind Emma’s eyes, the kind of weariness that settled deep in her bones. All she wanted was the familiar comfort of her room, the cool slide of the black silk sheets against her skin, the quiet sanctuary she had carved out for herself in Lucy’s house. She pushed open her door, the soft click of the latch a welcome sound, and stepped inside, her shoulders already relaxing in anticipation of the solitude she was about to embrace.

The solitude she found was not her own.

The scene that greeted her stopped her dead in her tracks, her hand still on the doorknob, her breath catching in her throat. Her room, her bed, was occupied. Not by her, but by another woman. A girl named Lily, a newer, softer piece of merchandise with wide, frightened eyes and skin the color of warm honey. Lily was on all fours, a position of obscene vulnerability, her wrists and ankles bound to the bedposts with silk scarves that pulled her limbs, leaving her body open and exposed. She was trembling, a fine, visible shudder that ran through her entire frame.

And standing by the window, a dark, imposing silhouette against the moonlight, was Smoke. He wasn't looking at Lily. He was looking at Emma, his face a mask of cold, intense purpose, as if he had been waiting for her, as if her arrival was the final piece of his meticulously planned night.

A slow, cold rage grew in Emma’s gut, a chilling, familiar venom she hadn't felt in years. It wasn't jealousy, not the simple, petty kind. She knew Smoke wasn't hers, not in the way a husband belonged to a wife. He was a wild, untamable thing that belonged to no one, a force of nature that blew through lives and left them changed. But this… this was different. This was a violation. This was him bringing another woman into her space, onto her bed, and using it as his personal fucking stage. It was disrespect of the highest order, and it made her see red.

The rage was hot and sharp, but beneath it was something colder, something that hurt worse. She had fallen for him, hard and fast, with a velocity that terrified her. She’d never fallen for a client, not once. She’d built walls around her heart for a reason, and every man who paid for a night in her bed was kept firmly on the other side. But Smoke… Smoke had just walked through them like they were made of smoke. His presence, his quiet intensity, the way his dark eyes seemed to see right through to the twisted, hungry soul she kept hidden. The way he talked, that low, calm, vulgar rumble that made her pussy clench. The way he dished out pain, not with cruelty, but with an artistic precision that made her feel more alive than anything ever had. God, it made her want to propose to HIM, to get down on her knees and promise him a lifetime of being his personal canvas to paint with pleasure and pain.

She had shelved those feelings, buried them deep under a professional smile and a practiced moan. She didn't know if he felt the same way, and she wasn't about to be the one to lay her heart on the line only to have him use it as a stepping stone on his way to the next piece of ass. So she let him do him, satisfying her other customers with a mechanical efficiency that left her feeling hollow, all while saving the real fire, the real desire, for him. And this was how he repaid her. By bringing his side-piece into her fucking bed.

"Well, well," she said, her voice low and dangerous as she pushed the door closed with a soft, final click. She crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the doorframe, her eyes blazing. "I see you've made yourself at home, Smoke. And you've brought a friend. I hope you at least wiped your feet before you tracked up my goddamn bed."

Smoke turned slowly. He didn't look surprised. He didn't look guilty. He just looked at her, his dark eyes a swirling vortex of amusement. "Emma," he said, his voice vibrating through the room. "I was wondering when you'd get here."

"Don't 'Emma' me, nigga," she snapped, pushing herself off the doorframe and taking a step into the room. "What the fuck is this? You get bored of my pussy so you decide to defile my bed with the new girl? That's some low-down, dirty shit, even for you."

A grin spread across his face, a flash of white in the dim light. "Defile?" he repeated, tasting the word. "I like that. But you're wrong about what's happening here." He gestured to Lily, who whimpered softly, her head bowed. "This ain't about me. This is about you."

Emma let out a short, sharp laugh. "Bullshit. This looks like it's about you getting your dick wet in a new hole."

"Lucy can teach you how to please a man, Emma," he continued, ignoring her outburst completely. He moved away from the window, his presence filling the room, pushing against her, demanding her attention. "She can teach you how to suck a dick, how to ride a dick, how to make a nigga feel like a king. But she can't teach you about power. She can't teach you about control. About pain and ecstasy." He stopped in front of her, his body close, a wall of heat and raw energy. "I'm going to give you a demonstration."

He moved to the bed, picking up a small, black leather paddle from the nightstand. He held it up, his eyes never leaving hers, an unspoken challenge passing between them. He then turned to Lily, and without warning, without preamble, brought the paddle down on her upturned ass.

The sharp, wet smack echoed in the room, followed by a sharp, surprised cry from Lily. Emma flinched, a sympathetic jolt that she quickly suppressed. Smoke didn't stop. He delivered a series of sharp, stinging smacks, each one a calculated, precise blow that turned Lily's skin a beautiful, rosy red. He was a master at pain and control.

He then moved his fingers, finding Lily's slick, swollen folds. He brought her to the brink of orgasm again and again, his fingers dancing inside Lily's pussy, until she was whimpering and begging, her body in desperate need of release.

But his attention wasn't on Lily. It was on Emma. His intense eyes were locked on hers, a silent, demanding conversation passing between them as his fingers worked their magic on the bound girl.

"You see this, Emma?" he asked. His thumb circled Lily's clit, a slow teasing motion that made the girl's hips buck, a desperate plea for more. "This ain't just about making her feel good. It's about making her feel everything."

He slid two fingers inside Lily, a deep penetration that made the girl gasp, a sound that was a mixture of pleasure and surprise. He curled his fingers, which found that magical, elusive spot inside her, the spot that was the key to her pleasure.

"You gotta pay attention," he continued, his eyes still locked on Emma. "You gotta learn her body. You gotta learn what makes her gasp, what makes her moan, what makes her beg." He started to pump his fingers. "You gotta learn where to touch her, how hard to touch her, when to speed up, and when to slow down."

Lily was a mess of need and frustration, her body a taut wire of desperate need. She was so close, so fucking close, and he was just toying with her, pushing her to the brink, then pulling her back, again and again.

"Please, Smoke," she begged. "Please let me cum."

Smoke just laughed. "Not yet," he said. "Not till Emma says so."

He looked at Emma, his eyes a challenging pool. "You see?" he said. "You gotta make her work for it. You gotta make her earn it. You gotta make her beg for it. You gotta make her want it so bad she can't think straight." He pulled his fingers out, a sudden, shocking absence of sensation that made Lily cry out. "You gotta make her want it more than anything else in the world."

He held his glistening fingers up to Emma, a silent invitation. "You see how wet she is?" he said. "You see how much she wants it? That's power, Emma. That's control."

"Your turn," he said, holding out the paddle. He wasn't just asking her to participate; he was testing her, pushing her to see if she'd just watch, or if she'd dive in with him.

Emma didn't hesitate. She took the paddle from him, her fingers curling around the leather-wrapped handle, the cool, firm weight of it a perfect fit in her palm. Her eyes were blazing with a defiant fire that only fueled his hunger, a silent promise that she was not just a spectator in this theater of his creation.

"Thata girl," Smoke murmured, his voice a low, appreciative rumble. "Now, show me what you learned."

She moved to the bed, her movements confident. She was not just enduring it; she was competing with him, matching his intensity with her own. She raised the paddle, her arm a fluid, graceful arc.

"Easy now," Smoke coached from the side. "Don't just swing it. Aim for it. Think about the sound you want to make. Think about the color you want to leave behind."

She spanked Lily, the blow a sharp, wet smack that was a perfect echo of his own. Lily cried out, her body jerking against the silk restraints. Emma delivered another, then another, her blows just as sharp, just as calculated as Smoke's, turning Lily's ass into a beautiful, rosy canvas.

"Good," Smoke praised, his voice thick with approval. "Look at that. You're a natural. Now, make her sing."

Emma set the paddle down and leaned in, her face hovering just above Lily's glistening, swollen folds. She could feel the heat radiating from the girl's skin, could smell the sweet, musky scent of her arousal.

"Go on," Smoke urged, his voice a tempting whisper. "Taste her. See what you did to her. See how ready she is for you."

Emma kissed Lily's pussy, her tongue a soft, wet, teasing touch that had Lily writhing in pleasure. She started slow, exploring the sensitive folds, her tongue a gentle, probing instrument that was learning the landscape of another woman's desire.

"That's it," Smoke encouraged, his voice a low, guttural groan. "Just like that. Lick her slow. Make her feel it. Make her beg for it."

Emma's movements grew more confident, more assured. She found Lily's clit, a small, hard nub of flesh that was aching for attention. She circled it with her tongue, then flicked it, a light, teasing touch that made Lily gasp.

"You see that?" Smoke said, his voice a triumphant crow. "You see how she's moving? You see how she's trying to fuck your face? That's because you're doing it right. You're making her feel good. You're making her want it."

Smoke was so fucking turned on his dick felt like a hot iron bar trapped in his pants, throbbing with a desperate, painful need. He’d never seen a woman dive headfirst into his world like this. He’d never seen a woman who could match his intensity, who could embrace it as readily as she did. She wasn't just playing his game; she was writing her own goddamn rules.

He couldn't just watch anymore. He had to be in it.

He moved behind Emma, his presence a sudden, overwhelming weight that made her pause, her tongue still buried in Lily's folds. He grabbed the hem of her thin silk robe, yanking it up and over her ass, exposing the beautiful, round globes of her ass and the glistening, swollen lips of her pussy. She was dripping, her juices already coating her inner thighs, a result of how much this was turning her on.

"Fuck, Emma," he groaned, his voice a sound appreciation. "Look at this pretty pussy. So fucking wet. You been waiting for this dick, ain't you?"

He didn't wait for an answer. He unzipped his pants, his thick, heavy dick springing free. He lined himself up and slammed into her in one brutal, punishing thrust.

Emma cried out, the sound muffled by Lily's pussy. He was so big, so thick, a hard presence that filled her and stretched her to her limits.

He started fucking her, his movements a punishing rhythm. The sound of his hips slapping against her ass was a sharp, wet percussion that was the soundtrack to their depravity. He was fucking her hard, his strokes a deep, powerful drive that was meant to claim her for eternity.

"You like that?" he grunted. "You like when I fuck you while you eat her pussy?"

Emma could only moan, her face buried in Lily's folds, her tongue was moving at a desperate pace that was trying to keep up with the brutal strokes.

He reached down and slid his thumb into her ass, the penetration made her whole body stiffen. He could feel her muscles clenching around his dick.

"That's it," he praised. "Take it all. Take my dick and my thumb. You're a nasty girl for me, Emma. My goddamn nasty girl."

He smacked her ass, a sharp, stinging blow that left a red handprint on her skin. "You like that, too, don't you?" he taunted. "You like it when I get rough."

She did. She loved it. She loved the pain, the dominance that was pouring off him in waves. She could feel her release building, a tide that was threatening to drown her.

He could feel it, too. He could feel the subtle shift in her breathing. He could feel her getting wetter, her juices coating his dick, a slick, warm embrace that was driving him insane.

"Cum for me, Emma," he commanded. "Cum all over my dick. And you," he said, his voice turning to Lily. "You cum on her face. Both of you, cum for me now."

Emma came with a shuddering scream, her muscles clenching around his dick in a series of powerful, rhythmic spasms. At the same time, Lily came, a high-pitched, keening wail that was a testament to Emma's skill. Her body went limp, a boneless, spent mess that passed out from the intensity of her orgasm.

Smoke pulled out, his dick still hard and throbbing, a glistening, angry-looking spear of flesh. Emma collapsed onto the bed, her body trembling, her mind a blank slate of pleasure. She was breathless, her lungs burning, her heart a frantic, frantic drum against her ribs.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide with confusion. "Why didn't you...?" she started, her voice a hoarse, desperate whisper.

He looked down at her, a slow, satisfied smirk on his face. "Because I'm saving this nut," he said confidently. "I'm saving it for when I'm ready to call this pussy home. For when I can nut in it all day, just like you said I could."

The house on the hill was quiet, but Smoke’s mind was a fucking riot.

He sat on the porch of his own small place, a bottle of whiskey dangling from his fingers, the glass half-full and untouched. He stared out into the vast, Mississippi darkness, a darkness that used to feel like a friend, a familiar cloak he could wrap around himself. Tonight, it felt like an accusation. It felt like it was staring back, asking him what the hell he was going to do now.

His conversation with Stack played on a relentless loop in his head. She's the first thing in my whole life that ever felt like… home.

Home.

The word was a foreign language to Smoke. He’d spent his entire life being a visitor, a ghost, a man who passed through lives without ever really living in them. His home was the road, the next job, the next town, the next woman who was foolish enough to think she could handle him.

He took a long swallow of the whiskey. He thought about New York, about the clumsy, curious boy he was, testing the waters of his own darkness. He remembered the thrill of his first real taste of power, the way her body had trembled under his hand, the way she had looked at him with fear. He had broken her, but it had been a clumsy, amateur break. He had been learning.

Then he thought about Chicago, about the man he had become. The man who knew exactly what he wanted, exactly how to get it. He remembered Ruby, the loud-mouthed veteran who had sworn she could handle him. He remembered the paddle, the sharp, stinging blows, the way her confidence had crumbled, replaced by a desperate, needy submission. He remembered the satisfaction of it, the hard pleasure of seeing her on her knees, her face a mess of his cum, her eyes wide with the dawning realization that she was way over her head. He had broken her, too, but with an artistry that had been honed to a fine, sharp edge.

He had broken so many of them. A long, endless parade of faces and bodies that he had left in his wake. He had enjoyed it. He had thrived on it. The power, the control, the certainty that he was the one in charge, the one pulling the strings. It had been his religion, his reason for being.

But then he thought about Emma.

He thought about the way she had looked at him the first time, not with fear, not with awe, but with a challenge. He thought about the filthy dream she had sold him. He thought about the way she had held him after, her arms a warm, comforting weight that had made him feel something he had never felt before: safe.

He thought about the paddle, the way she had taken it from his hand, her eyes blazing with fire that had made his dick harder than it had ever been. He thought about the way she had dived headfirst into giving out pain, not just surviving, but thriving, adding her own brand to the mix. He thought about the way she had looked, her face buried in another woman's pussy, her body rocking back against his, her juices coating his dick as he fucked her from behind.

He realized that he didn't want to break her. The thought of breaking her, of seeing that fire in her eyes dim, of turning her into another one of his broken, whimpering messes, was abhorrent. It was a sacrilege.

He didn't want to break her. He wanted to possess her. He wanted to consume her. He wanted to make her a part of him so completely that she could never leave. He wanted to crawl inside her skin and live there, to breathe her air, to feel her heart beat next to his. He wanted to own her, not just her body, but her mind, her soul, her every thought, her every desire.

The hunger was still there, the insatiable beast that lived in his gut. But it had changed. It was no longer just about breaking, about the fleeting satisfaction of seeing another crumble. It was about keeping. It was about building something so strong, so unbreakable, that it could withstand the storm of his own nature.

The man who breaks things was finally ready to try and build something. He wasn't just hungry anymore. He was starving for something real. Something that would last.

He stood up, a new resolve hardening his features. He knew what he had to do. He knew what he wanted.

The house was quiet, the only sound the soft, rhythmic creak of the floorboards under Smoke's boots. He moved through the hall like a ghost, his body thrumming with a new, terrifying purpose. He didn't bother with the formalities of a knock. He let himself into Emma's room, the lock clicking open under his skilled fingers with a practiced ease that was a testament to his misspent youth.

The room was bathed in the soft, ethereal glow of the moonlight, a silver wash that turned the black silk sheets into a liquid shadow. She was asleep, naked, her body a soft, vulnerable curve against the dark fabric. Her skin, the color of warm caramel, seemed to drink in the light, her back a gentle, sloping rise that ended in the generous swell of her hips. Her hair was a wild, tangled halo around her head, a dark cloud that framed the peaceful, unguarded lines of her face.

He stood there for a long moment, just watching her. He was a man who had seen a thousand women in a thousand states of undress, but he had never seen anything as beautiful, as powerful, as this. She was a goddess in her sleep, a beautiful woman, and he was the man who was going to make her his.

He undressed, his clothes fell to the floor in a soft heap, a discarded skin that he was shedding, a symbol of the man he used to be. He was naked now, his dick a heavy, semi-erect presence that was proof of the constant, low-grade hum of his desire.

He slid into bed behind her, his naked body a warm, solid weight against hers. He was careful not to wake her, his movements a slow, gentle intrusion into her dreams. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, his face buried in the sweet, warm scent of her hair.

She stirred, her body instinctively molding against his, a soft, sleepy sigh escaping her lips. She didn't wake up, not completely. She just shifted, her body seeking his, a subconscious acknowledgment of his presence, a silent, unspoken acceptance of his claim.

This was not about sex. This was not about the frantic, desperate coupling that had defined their previous encounters. This was about possession, about protection, about a love that was so fierce, so all-consuming, it was almost violent. He was claiming her, not as a client, or a lover, but as his. His woman. His other half. His home.

He held her close, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts, of plans, of all the things he wanted to show her, all the ways he wanted to possess her, all the things he wanted to do to her. He was thinking about the future, a future he never thought he'd have, a future with her. He was thinking about all the ways he was going to make her his, forever.

He was thinking about the house he was going to build for her, a house with a big, soft bed, and a porch where they could sit and watch the sun go down. He was thinking about the children he was going to put in her, a whole tribe of little, chocolate-eyed monsters who would have his intensity and her strength.

He was thinking about all the ways he was going to love her, all the ways he was going to cherish her, all the ways he was going to worship her. He was thinking about all the ways he was going to break her, and all the ways he was going to put her back together, stronger and more beautiful than before.

He was thinking about the new beginning, the life he was going to build with her, a life that was a symbol of their love, a life that was a work of art, a masterpiece of their own creation.

He held her close, his body a warm, solid weight against hers, his mind a whirlwind of plans, a silent promise. He was going to make her his, forever. One by one.

“This is unacceptable, Tash!” 

Raven cringed, Helen was terrifying on her good days but when she was mad, whew… she was a tornado and anyone unlucky enough to be in her path was screwed. And if she was angry at her best girl, Raven could not help but shake in her heels at what Helen would have in store for her.

“I can’t control a sick kid!” Raven heard Tasha respond, her exasperation clear in her voice. “My ex can’t take him. I don’t have much of a choice.” 

“Hold on. Come in, Raven. Stop gawking outside the damn door.” 

Raven glanced up in the corner at the camera that Helen positioned in the hallway and sighed. She should have known. She squared her shoulders and pushed in. 

“Hi, I just came to-“ 

“I know why you came,” the older woman waved her hand dismissively. “I don’t have a client for you tonight.” 

Raven’s whole body deflated with disappointment and stress. Another night and no dates. Her mind immediately went to her dwindling bank account. She could not survive many more weeks like this. She needed clients, steady ones, and fast. 

“Really? Nothing?” 

“Sorry.” Raven could tell Helen was not sorry and did not care one bit. The long timers like Tasha made her more than enough money that she did not truly need to concern herself with newbies that would likely crash and burn. And Raven knew they all expected her to do just that. But she needed to succeed, she did not have much of a choice. “It’ll pick up soon.” 

“Ok, t-thank you.” Defeated and frustrated, Raven simply turned to leave, resigned to spending the evening in her apartment when a hand grabbed her arm to stop her. 

“Wait! She can go in my place.” 

Helen’s laugh was visceral, signaling the absurdity of Tasha’s statement. “No. Absolutely not. He is one of your best customers therefore one of my best customers. I’m not a fucking idiot. Can’t send a girl who's never turned a trick before and has only been on one date to him.” 

Tasha shook her head. “Nahhh, she’s perfect. She’s his type, wide hips, a fat ass, small waist, pretty dark skin, and she has a naiveté, innocent factor he’ll eat up.” 

Raven merely stood there, getting whiplash from the onset of both compliments and insults being thrown at her as if she was not standing in the room. However, she knew she could not contribute to the conversation or lobby in either direction because she had no idea what either of them were talking about.

“Look, she’s green as fuck but he ain’t gonna want one of these snow bunnies or redbones you got runnin’ round. Look, the real is it’s her and you still make money tonight or you gotta cancel and you don’t make anything.” 

Though Raven did not know who they were talking about, she did know one thing. If he was on Tasha’s client list, he was one of the biggest fish Helen had reeled in. One night with him would not solve all her problems but it would lessen her stress. 

“I’ll do it!” She piped up immediately, her voice assured and confident as if she knew exactly what they were talking about. “I can do it. I need the money.” 

“Fine.” 

Internally, Raven could not help but cheer though she kept her excitement subdued. She knew this was not a credit to her or because Helen actually thought she would do a good job. The reality was, all she cared about was money so sending Raven would, at least, ensure the night was not a total waste. 

“But look here, you fuck this up, you’ll never get another client in this town again. Understand?” 

Raven nodded, “I won’t. I promise.” 

“Tasha, find her an outfit in the closet… something expensive so he knows she’s not a girl I pulled off the damn street. Maybe after tonight, you can afford a designer outfit or two.” 

Raven glanced down at her black body con dress. It wasn’t much, even she could admit that, nor was it new or designer like the other girls wore. But it showed off the right assets and looked good on her so she felt like that was enough.

“Thank you! You won’t regret it, seriously.” 

“Somehow I doubt that,” Helen muttered as Tasha dragged Raven out of the room. 

Raven could not wipe the giant grin off her face as Tasha led her to the closet where the girls could borrow clothes for dates. Her body practically bounced after Tasha’s as they walked. 

“Thank you so much. I owe you big time.”

Tasha waved her hand as she started rifling through the options. “Don’t mention it. Just give me 10% of what you make tonight and we’ll call it even.” 

“Deal.” Raven answered immediately, she had no idea how much she’d make or what 10% of it would be but she knew she would still have a hefty sum even after paying both Tasha and Helen their cuts. All part of the investment, she decided quietly. “So who's the client?”

“Size? Look like a 10 or a 12?” 

“Good eye. 10. The client?” She asked again. 

“Michael B. Jordan.” 

Raven’s heart dropped and her jaw nearly unhinged. “Wait wait wait. THE Michael B. Jordan?? Actor, director, Hollywood bad boy, Michael B. Jordan? ‘The MCU just created a whole phase around him in a six movie deal’ Michael B. Jordan? ‘Time’s Magazine just dubbed him our generation’s Denzel’ Michael B. Jordan? He’s the most sought after actor in the game right now.”

Tasha nodded, rolling her eyes at Raven’s fangirling. “Damn, sis. You know his whole IMDB? But yea, that Michael B Jordan. He’s a regular when he’s out here in LA. Tomorrow’s his birthday so his friends hired me for the night. Look, leave that starstruck shit at the door when you get there, he hates that shit. And he’s rough,” she added as a warning as she handed Raven a dress. 

“How rough?” She could feel desire pool at her core at the thought. She thought about all the times she and her exes would dabble in BDSM and control but none of them were ever willing to take it as far as Raven thought she wanted it. Now, maybe it was her shot to test it out. She had figured she would get a client who was into that anyway, seemed like the most popular kink among all the clients she heard about. Raven quickly slid out of her old outfit and into the new one.

“I hate coaching you new girls,” Tasha muttered under her breath as she checked her phone.  

Raven quickly corrected herself. “I-It’s not a problem! I promise. I like rough… I did some stuff with boyfriends and I actually really enjoy it so no problem. I’m just trying to figure out what to expect.”  

“He isn’t gonna actually hurt you if that’s what you’re worried about. He expects obedience and submission but he’ll respect your limit if it goes too far. But since he’s never been with you before, he’ll probably keep it vanilla. Most you can probably expect is him calling you names, maybe he’ll make you beg or spank you a couple times? He ties me up and shit and can get creative but this is a surprise so I doubt he’ll have time to plan anything all that interesting. Don’t expect any warmth… well don’t expect that from any nigga you go in dates with as a rule but I know he seems one way in interviews and shit so people think they know him. When the door closes, you’re there to play a part and serve him. That’s it. He wants control, give him that and you’ll be fine.” 

“Ok. Anything else I should know?” 

“Oh don’t call him by his name.” 

Raven’s nose wrinkled. “Ok what do I call him?” 

“You know, sir, daddy, whatever. Take your pick.”  

Raven nodded, she could tell Tasha was getting bored of her “coaching”. But she only had one last question.  

“Is it normal to be this nervous?” 

Tasha laughed. “The first time? Yea. I almost vomited the first time I went on a date. Once you get regulars, it’s not . You get to know them, they get to know you and it gets comfortable. They are paying you but you got more power and control than you’d think. But just keep your head about you. He acts like a bad boy but he’s cool people, not a bad guy for your first time. Trust me. Dress fits like a glove. You should keep it.” 

Raven turned in the mirror for a few minutes before offering Tasha a sad smile. She coveted so many pieces in the closet but Helen always insisted they be returned unless you wanted to purchase them from her. “I can’t afford it.”

“Helen won’t miss it. It's an old dress of mine I used to wear on early dates. It doesn’t even fit most of these skinny bitches.”

Raven glanced at her. “Why are you being so nice to me? Most of the girls are… awful,” she muttered the last part more to herself than to Tasha. “They wouldn’t have done a fraction of the shit you’ve done in the last 10 minutes.” 

Tasha merely shrugged. “Most of them see every girl who shows up here as competition. You’re pretty, have a nice body and all that. But no shade, you ain’t worth the energy to be mean. Besides, if I let you fail, I could fuck up my best customer. One date with Michael and I have my rent paid for months. Don’t get it twisted, I’m a bitch,” she assured her. “But I’m not a dumb bitch.” She glanced at the clock. “Aight, I gotta go. Nanny’s gonna be gone in a bit and my son is sick. Have fun and don’t mess this up cause you’ll be on your own with Helen if this shit goes left.” 

“Noted. Thanks… again.” 

Tasha chuckled. “I thought I said don’t mention it? You’re gonna have to become more of a bitch to survive around here, newbie. Cause this good girl shit? It’ll get you eaten alive.” 

Tasha gave her one last glance before leaving Raven alone with her thoughts. 

“Such inspiring words,” she mumbled to herself before she glanced at a notification on her phone. 

Dad: Car broke down. Gonna be $700 to get it fixed. Send that with the mortgage

No please, not even framed as a question. Her money was never her own, it was her family’s. And while they blew their own money on vices and frivolous shit, they always knew Raven would swoop in to foot the things that mattered. And so now, they did not even ask. They just presented their bills to the Raven ATM and she always found a way.   

Raven: I’m helping with the mortgage already… any chance you can cover that? 

Dad: Had to set aside money for Kiara’s school… she wants to go back to be a chef. It’s just $700. 

She rolled her eyes, she did not even have the cash from her date in hand yet and the money was already dwindling right before her eyes. She knew she could not say no, there was no point. 

Raven: Yea, I’ll get it to you later this week.

More motivation, she supposed, to make sure the night was flawless.

***

The club was filled with hazy smoke as Michael and his friends passed around a blunt in his section. The night was young and the drinks were flowing with no signs of slowing down. 

“Aye brah,” Steelo hit his arm softly to get his attention. “We got a surprise for you waiting at the St. Regis,” he held out the hotel room key. 

Michael whistled and dapped the man up. “My nigga!” He was appreciative. It was his first time back in LA since finishing up filming in Atlanta and he had missed burying himself in his favorite girl. He had tried to find temporary release while in Atlanta but no girl was like Tasha and that was a fact. 

Michael grabbed the card and slid it into his pocket. “Aight that’s my cue. Thanks for the birthday present. See y’all niggas tomorrow. Rest of the night’s on me!” 

He said goodbye to everyone before his security led him to his car. Despite the liquor and drugs coursing through his system, he had a clear enough head to envision what he would do to Tasha. That girl was truly up for anything and he loved every second of it. 

He put his phone on DND as he entered the hotel and went up to the room Steelo texted him. 

He did not make much noise as he entered the suite, expecting to find Tasha already naked and ready in the position he liked. Instead, he found a woman standing by the window. He studied her for a moment, in his confusion, taking in her reflection as she marveled at the penthouse suite view of downtown LA. He studied how her fingers barely touched the glass of the window as if that would give her a closer look. He could see her face in the reflection. She was beautiful, her big brown eyes filled with longing and wonder at the twinkling lights across the horizon. She was so taken by it that she did not even notice Michael until he cleared his throat. 

She turned around, Michael suddenly amending his earlier thought. She was not beautiful, that was an insulting understatement. She was painfully breathtaking. He had been in the presence of many beautiful women in his life but she surpassed them all. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I-I was j-just waiting and g-got caught up in the v-view. T-this is the perfect room, you can see the whole city. I-I’m Nicole.” She always went by her middle name with Helen and on her first date. Easy enough to remember to ensure she actually answered to it but kept her true identity to herself. 

“Where’s Tasha?” 

“Oh, umm she had an emergency. Helen wanted to make sure your birthday gift was still perfect so she sent me. I hope that’s… alright?” 

Michael watched as she chewed on her plump bottom lip, he wanted to pull it out of her teeth and bite it himself. He could also hear the nervousness and fear in her voice as if she was worried he would throw a fit about the change. And while no one compared to Tasha, he still could have a good time. Besides, they could not have picked a more perfect replacement. Her ass was delectable, his hand twitched with the urge to smack it. Her hip to waist ratio was mouth watering, he could only imagine how she would look with the deep arch he liked, how his fingers would dig into the meat of her hips as he fucked her from behind. Her breasts sat high, looking good enough to devour right then and there. It was not the girl he was expecting, true, but he would not dare complain. 

“All good. We can still have a good time together.” He noted how her entire body physically relaxed at his words, her shoulders coming down from her ears, her jaw relaxing, the tension in her tight limbs releasing.

They stared at each other for a moment before, awkwardness spreading across the room before she glanced down at herself. 

“S-sorry, I s-should probably take this off… or I can wait till you tell me? You were probably expecting me to already be… Tasha didn’t say what I should do when I arrived or how you liked… so… I’m talking a lot. Does it feel like I’m talking a lot to you? There’s probably not this much talking, is there? I’m gonna stop a-and let you talk a-and tell me how you want me.” she clamped her lips shut as she realized she was rambling. She wished she could smack herself in the forehead. This was already not going well. She did not know how she got up and performed in front of ogling men all through her college and her masters program. She had an altar ego when she danced on stage then but it seemed that vixen was nowhere to be found. And she desperately needed her again. She knew she would arrive once they actually got started. This was where her first date went off the rails, the lead up. There was a certain distance with men at the club… this lifestyle though, was the exact opposite and she did not expect how hard it would be for her. She just wanted to do the deed and go but being one of Helen’s girls required so much more. And all that pre-sex conversation and “bonding” with men she’d never talk to regularly was difficult for her. It didn’t come naturally like it did to other women. “Sir.” she added, remembering Tasha’s instructions. “Sorry.” 

Michael could not help but chuckle slightly. He could not explain why but he found her ranting and nervousness endearing. She was like a lamb trapped with a wolf, so sweet and earnest, not realizing that he was the complete opposite of both those things. It was far different from his first date with Tasha who knew exactly what to say and do. This girl seemed to not know either. But he found that charming, authentic. Other women were always playing a role. It seemed as though she showed up as her true self, beautiful, innocent, awkward and all. 

He wondered how long she’d been in the game. Couldn’t be that long,he reasoned, given how nervous she looked. However, she seemed eager to please, which was his favorite type of woman. If she was done for what he had planned, he knew he could still have fun with her. 

“You can stay like that for now. Tasha told you what I expect?” 

Raven nodded. “Yes, sir.” It sounded so odd on her tongue to call anyone sir in this day and age. However, she could not deny there was a certain arousing quality to it. 

Michael perched against the table across from the bed, gesturing for Raven to sit down on the edge of the bed across from him. “And what do I expect, Nicole?” 

“Obedience, sir.” Raven fidgeted with the hem of her dress as she watched him study her. She could feel him undressing her with his eyes. Usually, she did not wilt under the ogling stares of men. Seven years working as a stripper got her over that hang up really quick. However, something about Michael’s stare was unnerving. Not in a creepy way but in an intense one, as if he was trying to learn everything he could about her by simply staring. 

“You nervous?” 

“No.” 

“Clearly Tasha ain’t tell you everything cause one thing I don’t allow is lying. 10 spankings. Lie again and I’ll triple it.” 

Her eyes fell down to his arms, taking in the taut muscles straining against his t-shirt. She wondered how heavy handed his slaps would be. Her panties were growing damp the longer she spoke to him. She could not remember the last time a man elicited this sort of reaction from her body.

“Yes.” 

He raised an eyebrow, Raven immediately correcting her mistake. 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Good girl,” Raven immediately felt her body warm at the term, she could not hide the small but distinct smile that formed. She liked hearing it on his lips. “And don’t be. It’ll be a fun night for us both. I don’t know your limits and all that shit so I’ll take it easy. Tash and I got a safe word. We can use one for the night if that would make you more comfortable?” 

Raven smiled, grateful that he was even taking that into account. “Yea, that would be great.”

“You pick.” 

“Ummm… Wakanda?” she blurted out, the first word that came to mind as she looked at him. She immediately hit herself in the head, cringing at herself. “I’m sorry, that’s so embarrassing… I’m a Marvel n-nerd and it’s just the first word that popped into my head.” 

Michael tried to hold his laughter in but could not. His laughter filled the room, causing Raven to feel slightly less embarrassed. “That is definitely a first but if that’s what you want then deal. You used a safe word before?” 

Raven shook her head. 

“When you want or need me to stop, something’s too painful or going too far, you say it and everything ends for the night. Understand?” 

She nodded again. 

“When I ask you a question, I also expect you to use your words.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Good, now that we got that shit outta the way… we can have some fun.” He folded his arms and stared at her. “Lose the dress.” 

Raven took a deep breath and stood up, her arms stretching behind her back to find the zipper of the dress. Before she knew it, the soft fabric was pooled at her feet. She smirked at how his eyes darkened with lust, how his knuckles gripped the edge of the table as if to control his own urges. Slowly but surely, the nerves in her body started to dissipate as lust replaced them. She started to repeat the motion to remove her bra but his voice stopped her. 

“Did I tell you to take that off too? 5 more.” Raven could not help the way her own eyes flashed with excitement at the thought of punishment, a fact Michael was all too keen to point out. “Oh I see… you want it… want me to spank that fat ass until it’s covered in my handprints?” 

“Y-Yes, sir.” And she did, she wanted his hands on her body as soon as possible.

“Leave everything else on and crawl to me.” 

Her voice hitched. She had never crawled to anyone. She had seen it in porn, men leading women around in leashes, treating them as pets. And while she knew she should have found it degrading and humiliating, it had only turned her on. She could never convince her past boyfriends to take it that far, the most they were willing to do was spank her or call her names. But Michael was clearly a natural at this and knew exactly what he wanted. And she was more than happy to oblige. 

She sank down to her hands and knees, the carpet roughly poking into her skin. She ignored it though as she kept her eyes trained on his, each step closer increasing the ache between her thighs. She could not remember the last time she had been this wet without anyone laying a finger on her. But it was him… his aura, his commanding being, the possessive look in his eyes that let her know she was his, even if it was only for the night. She so desperately wanted to please him and she found that, in her heart, it was not because it was her job. But because she genuinely wanted to hear him praise her. 

By the time she reached him, the march across the room feeling longer than it actually was, every pleasure sensor in her body screamed and begged to be touched, caressed, kissed, or bitten. Whatever he wanted to do, she did not care. 

She sat back on her heels, an innocent doe eyed look on her face as she stared up at him, waiting. Michael could have cum right then and there, the picture of submission beneath him and it was their first time together. 

And only time, he reminded himself. For some reason, that thought burned uncomfortably in his mind, so much so that he pushed it out just as quickly. 

“Good girl,” he liked how her whole being seemed to beam at his compliment. His hand went to her hair, wrapping his fist around her long kinky curls. 

He held tight as he unbuttoned his pants and his dick sprung into her face. Her eyes grew as she took in his size and girth, he certainly had a package to be proud of. And she yearned for a taste of him, salivating for it. She willed him to shove it down her throat. And she did not have to wait long as his head poked at her lips to part them. Her tongue flicked his head gently. He let her control it for a few minutes, the young woman opting to tease him with soft licks up his shaft that made him moan softly. 

“You’re gonna pay for that later,” he moaned as she continued working him, teasing his dick with her mouth. She spat on him, using her hand to get him as sloppy as possible. 

She looked up and winked at him. “You want me to stop, sir?” 

This girl is gonna be the death of me, he decided right then and there. Submissive but a brat… and she was a natural at it.  

“Nah you ain’t stoppin’ anytime soon.” He unceremoniously pushed into her mouth, this time pushing as deeply as he could, hitting the back of her throat. She gagged immediately, choking and spluttering as her eyes filled with tears. “Want me to stop?” 

She shook her head immediately, her eyes still showed her eagerness. 

And he did not stop again. She moaned around him, sending tiny vibrations through him that drove him wild. He did not give her a chance to breathe or catch her breath as he fucked her mouth like it was a mere convenient hole. And he could tell she loved every second of it as he watched one of her hands drift from his thigh to between her own. He immediately stopped, using her hair to yank her head back. 

Layers of spit kept her mouth connected to his dick. “You don’t touch yourself without asking, understand? That pussy’s mine. Such a desperate and pathetic little slut, already trying to cum.” 

“Y-Yes, sir.” 

As much as Michael had wanted to bust down her throat, he was ready to bury himself inside her sweet pussy. But first, he needed a taste. And before she could receive any pleasure, she had to be punished. 

“Crawl to the bed and bend over the edge. Ass in the air.” 

Her heart sagged as she realized he was not going to let her continue tasting him. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your taste again,” he winked at her. “Bed. Now. Make me wait another second and I’ll add another 10.” 

Raven knew his words should have had her hauling ass to the bed, however, she opted to take her sweet time. He liked submission, that was true. But it was clear he also liked a little pushback that allowed him to prove his dominance, reestablish his control. And that was one role Raven had always wanted to play. She took her time crawling back, putting an extra sway in her hips to show him her thick ass. She also knew that he could likely see the glistening of the mess between her thighs as she moved. She could feel the intensity of his stare on her as if he were burning a hole in her head. 

“Oh baby girl… the things I’m gonna do to you,” he whispered, his voice tickling her ears. 

The journey back to the bed was longer, Michael allowing her to continue her show. Finally, she picked herself up and assumed the position he demanded. 

She waited with bated breath, no movement in the room but she could still feel his eyes on her. 

“I hope you enjoyed that,” he offered as she finally felt him move toward her, her pussy clenching in anticipation. “Cause you’re gonna pay for it in a minute.” 

She braced herself for the onslaught of pain and pleasure but it never came. Instead, she felt a gentle touch, his hands gripping her ass. Lower and lower they went until one was hovering right above her pussy. She did not understand how he was so close and yet was not touching her.  

“P-Please,” she whimpered, desperate for any type of contact. 

“Please what? Want me to make you cum like the filthy slut you are?” 

“Y-yes, p-please… I-I’ll d-do anything,” her voice was filled with her desperation. She needed him like her body needed air to breathe. 

“I don’t think you deserve to cum,” he shot back. “Acting like a fuckin’ whore for a man you don’t even know. I bet I could touch you once and you’d cum… so horny, so desperate for me. Just like I knew you would be. Do you think you deserve to cum?” 

She knew the answer she had to give. “N-No, sir.” 

“Why?” 

“B-because I’ve b-been a bad girl.” 

“Yes, you have. And bad girls get punished, don’t they?” 

She nodded, her fingers getting tangled up in the comforter on the bed. “Yes, sir.” 

“Good girl. Tonight, you don’t cum without permission. This pussy and all your pleasure is mine to give and take away. When you’re ready, beg. Count ‘em out or I'll start over.” 

She cried out as he ripped her lace thong right off her body, the fabric snapping against her. He quickly followed it up with a swat to her ass that made her moan. 

“One.” 

She steadied her breathing and counted through each one. It got harder and harder to maintain the count, as he would stop at random intervals to touch her. The first time, two fingers slid into her drenched core, curling into her g-spot with every stroke. He slowly finger fucked her and rubbed her clit, her punishment almost completely forgotten as she surrendered to the bliss of his hands. She could feel her own orgasm building, her pussy clenching around his finger. However, he did not even give her a chance to beg before he stopped. He resumed spanking her, Raven almost losing count in the haze of the pain and pleasure he provided. 

“13.” 

“Are you gonna be a good slut for me? Or do I need to add more?” he asked gruffly in her ear as he put more force in each hit. 

Still sporting the strength and weight of Erik Killmonger, his athleticism, strength, and power showed through every single slap. 

“15… y-yessss… I p-promise, I-I’ll b-be good. Six… sixteen…” 

“You’ll be a good what? Say it!” he ordered as his hand rained down on her ass. She knew she would be bruised tomorrow but she could care less.

“20… I-I’ll b-be a good s-slut. A g-good whore. F-fuck me, p-please!” She begged. Her words were strangled, like a dying woman begging for life. He had her right where he wanted her, she knew that much. And she loved it. Loved every second of surrendering to him and accepting whatever he chose to give: pain, pleasure, humiliation. She did not care, she wanted every single thing and more. 

He stopped, resuming his teasing. This time, he spread her legs and ate her out from the back, his tongue doing the work of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit on her clit. 

She panted as she felt her orgasm build. She remembered his instructions and immediately started to beg. 

“P-Please let me c-cum. F-fuck… f-feels so good. Daddy… please!” She had not intended to call him daddy at any point in the night. She always hated the way it sounded and felt. However, it slipped out and she did not hate it so much on him, and neither did he. 

“Cum for daddy, baby,” he whispered, replacing his tongue with his fingers as he fucked her hard and fast. 

She buried her face in the comforter as the most powerful orgasm of her life ripped through her. So powerful, she felt tears streaming down her face, destroying her perfectly done makeup. Her thanks and appreciation for allowing her to cum was incoherent as his fingers continued to pump in and out of her.

While she calmed down, he took a moment to slide a condom on before lining himself with her wet entrance. He used his head to tease her, her entire body jolting with pleasure as he tapped it against her clit. 

“What do you want, baby?” 

Unflinching, she pushed herself to her forearms and glanced over her shoulder. “F-fuck me. Fuck me like a whore.” 

Without a second thought, he slammed his dick into her, Raven letting out a scream of pleasure that made him thankful the rooms around him were empty. His steady, powerful strokes sent her eyes rolling into the back of her head. She had never been fucked like this before, hard and rough. She had never expected pleasure quite like this when she entered the hotel room but she would thank God for it. 

The only sounds were her consistent moans and screams as Michael fucked her viciously, his hips slamming into her hips with every thrust. She used her forearms to meet every thrust, which only turned Michael on even more. She lost track of the amount of times she begged him to cum. He only did not allow her once, savoring the sounds of her pleas as she tried to hold it in. And when she couldn’t, he did not skip a beat in flipping her over and punishing her, this time with his belt, which almost made her cum on the spot again. 

He moved her around the room, fucking her on any surface he deemed strong enough to hold her weight. 

“You like how I’m fuckin’ this pussy?? You gon’ cum again, you fuckin’ whore?” 

Her knuckles were white as she gripped the table he fucked her on. Both of her legs were draped over his shoulders, allowing him to reach regions Raven did not even know were possible. She could barely think since he put her in this particular position, let alone formulate a sentence to respond. 

He hand one hand cradling her neck and head while the other held onto her back, using both as leverage to fuck her. He moved the one on her back to bring down a harsh smack to her outer thigh. 

She gasped. “Y-Yes, yes, yes! P-Please let me c-cum! D-daddy, p-please, please, please.” 

“Cum on this dick, baby. That’s it.” he continued fucking her through her orgasm, Raven left feeling as though she could not withstand much else. As she felt yet another orgasm start to build causing her to shy away from him. “Nah don’t run from me. You wanted it. Acting like a fuckin’ brat. Take this dick!” 

“It-It’s too… fuck! J-Just like that… It’s… t-too much,” she panted out, her words choppy as she still tried to run from him despite his instructions. Her body did not know if she wanted him to stop or continue, to go faster or slower. That is until she let go of the table, all of her weight naturally leaning to one side as her arm gave out beneath her.  

“FUCK,” she cried out as she felt the table slowly tip over. Because Michael was also bracing his weight on it to fuck her, they both toppled to the ground. She groaned, her eyes blurring as her head hit the corner of the tv stand next to them before she fell down to the ground. Her hand clutched the side of her head, now understanding what the phrase seeing stars meant. 

She clenched her eyes shut as she tried to give herself a minute for the pounding in her head to stop. She let out a breathy chuckle, in pain but finding the injury rather hilarious as she felt Michael try to untangle their limbs. Soon, his deep baritone joined in, their laughter filling the room as they laid on the floor. 

“You… alright?” she asked when they both settled down, her hand still pressing into her head. 

“Yea, fell on my arm but it’s not that bad. You good?” 

She nodded. “Y-Yea, just banged my head on the tv thing.” 

“Let me help you up.” 

Michael held out his hand, Raven giving him her free one to pull her to her feet. However, at the fast movement, she immediately felt lightheaded. Her naked body sagged into his as everything started to fade in and out. 

“Oh shit, you’re bleeding,” he muttered, lifting her head up to examine her, his arm immediately going around her waist to hold her up. “Can you stand?” 

“Barely,” she muttered. Her head felt so heavy, all she wanted to do was collapse back down to the ground. 

“Aye aye, ma. Keep your eyes open for me, aight?” He guided her over to the bed and sat her down before running into the bathroom to grab a bathrobe and a towel. He wrapped her in the robe to make sure she was covered before calling an ambulance and calling down to his security to alert them of the situation. 

He figured an ambulance was slight overkill as she likely just had a concussion but he did not want to take any chances. He worried he pushed her too far too fast. He immediately felt guilty. If he had not been fucking her so rough, she would not be half unconscious next to him. He had just gotten completely lost in her. 

He quickly pulled on his own clothes so he could be ready when the EMTs arrived. He grabbed a towel and swatted away her hand to press it into the wound. It did not look that deep but the sight of her face covered in blood was still jarring for him. Her bloody hand rested on his arm as she tried to continue sitting up. Her eyes started to flutter closed, Michael using his grip on her shoulder to keep her upright.

“Eyes open.” She still responded to his commands. “Good girl, that’s it. Keep your eyes on me. Tell me about your tattoo.” It was the first thing he could think of, referencing the ink on her forearm. 

Even through the pain, she managed to give him a funny look. “You fucked me so h-hard, I-I might h-have a c-concussion a-and you c-care about my tattoo?” 

“Gotta keep you awake somehow, baby girl. Tell me.” 

The tattoo, one of a small bird cage, three small birds flying out of the open doors. The word freedom was written beneath it. 

“M-Maya… Angelou… h-her memoir, I Know Why The Caged Bird… Sings. F-first book I r-remember relating t-to… the i-idea that literature and s-storytelling c-could save y-you. She m-made me w-want to be a w-writer.” 

“You’re a writer?” 

Even in her pain, he could see her body sag slightly, sadness rippling across her face. “Yea…w-was anyway,” she mumbled. 

“What kind of books do you write?” 

However, Michael would never get the answer to that question, at least not that night. The edges of her vision were starting to blur and grow black. Her eyes lulled closed and this time, not even the sweet sounds of his voice and commands could force her to open them back up. 

***

Raven groaned as she woke up in a bed, the beeping of the machines around her filling her ears. She shifted uncomfortably as all of the sensors in her body started to wake up and she began to register everything. The pounding in her skull was overwhelming but her whole body ached. She knew it was likely a combination of Michael’s pension for acrobatics, an ache she’d gladly sign up for again and again, and the fall. Slowly the events that landed her in the hospital came back to her. 

The fall. How embarrassing. She knew she’d never live this one down when it made its way back to Helen and the other women. Falling and ending up in the hospital after her second date overall and first one with one of their biggest clients. She was screwed. 

“Welcome back.” 

She glanced to the side, shocked to find Michael sipping a coffee and sitting in the chair by her window. She was equally shocked to find that it was already light outside. 

How long was I out for? She thought to herself. 

As if he could read her mind and questions, Michael chuckled. “About five hours… longest five hours of my life,” he added under his breath. “How’s your head?” 

“Better than my pride. W-what are you still doing here?” She could not keep the shocked tone out of her voice. It was not that she did not appreciate him sticking around, she just would have never expected it given how Tasha described him. 

“Wanted to make sure you were good,” he shrugged nonchalantly. “I didn’t want you to wake up in the hospital alone.” 

Her heart fluttered, even though she knew it shouldn’t. He was a client, and as soon as he assured she was alive and likely not going to sue him or something, he would be on his way and forget all about her. That was the gig. 

“Oh um… that’s really sweet. T-thank you. And thank you for bringing me here.” 

“It was my fault so it seems only right.” 

“Eh, I think we both shoulder some of the blame there. Not sure why we thought that rickety table could hold both of our weight. Blinded by passion, I suppose,” she mused. “It was fun though,” she muttered, more to herself than to him. “Sorry… for ruining your birthday gift. I k-know I wasn’t the girl you wanted or how it should’ve ended. I feel bad,” she admitted. 

 Michael studied her for a moment, unsure of how to respond to any of that. Sure, she was not the girl he had expected to find in his room. However, he was happy about that. The night had exceeded every expectation he had, until the very end of course. She was a breath of fresh air, a new challenger who had been up for everything he threw at her. And something about her… he just found himself drawn to it. Which is why he was still sitting here in the hospital five hours later instead of leaving. It was not just the great sex or her beauty, it was her. She was sweet and awkward but had fire and could go toe to toe with him when she wanted. He liked that, the challenge she presented. And while he knew she was only supposed to replace Tasha for that one night, the entire time he was buried inside her, all he craved was more of her. And that feeling had not subsided, even as she laid in a hospital bed. 

He shook his head. “I always believe shit goes exactly as it’s supposed to. And don’t sweat it. I had an amazing time last night. You were somethin’ else.” 

He watched as a small smile bloomed on her face. 

“No Tasha, I know,” she admitted, biting her lip. Once again, he resisted the urge to rip it out. A picture of her lips wrapped around his dick flashed in his head. He knew it was inappropriate to lust after her while she laid in the bed. But he could not help it. Having her was like the first hit of a drug, he needed another fix. “But I’m glad it was still fun for you. I had a good time too.” 

Michael closed the distance between them, one hand going to brace on the railing of her bed while the other held his weight as he leaned over her. 

“Don’t compare yourself to Tasha or any other girl out here. You’re one of a kind.” His voice was low, he usually reserved this voice for behind closed doors. It was commanding and authoritative and he could tell she loved it. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her legs tighten together, the lust clouding her eyes, the way her lips parted to let out a shakily breath. “Understand?” 

She nodded, gulping. 

“Words.” 

“Y-Yes, I u-understand.”

But she did not understand. Did not understand why he was still there, why he seemed to care about her, even if it was just to sit in a hospital when she knew he had better things to be doing, or why he at all cared whether she compared herself to anyone. She did not understand him. She had expected what Tasha warned her about… that she would just be there to service, a mere body for him to use as he pleased for the night. That did not bother her, she was there to do a job. However, he seemed to be more than that. You don’t spend all night in a hospital for just a body, right? You don’t care about the low self esteem or self deprecating comments of just a body? And you don’t look at just a body how he was looking at her right now… with such an intense craving and yearning that all Raven wanted to do was to let the ground swallow her whole. 

“Good girl,” he whispered. His hand cradled her face as he took in the bloodied bandage on her forehead. He tilted her head up studying it, his thumb gently caressing her big tresses of kinky hair. 

However, their moment, whatever it was, ended as quickly as it started as Raven’s phone rang loudly next to her. Michael seemed to realize his mistake and looked almost startled, as if he did not know how he ended up so close to her. He took several steps back as Raven grabbed her cell phone from the table. 

She groaned as she realized it was her dad. Michael turned to stare out the window, giving her a bit of privacy as she answered the call. 

“Hey, what do you need?” She knew he was calling because he needed something. None of them ever called to see about her. 

“Hey Rae… could you send whatever money you can today?” 

Raven’s face twisted up in confusion. “Today?? The mortgage isn’t due till the end of the month.” She glanced at Michael who seemed preoccupied in his phone before lowering her voice. “I-I can’t just pull money out of nowhere. Why do you even need it?” 

He sighed. “Kiara got arrested.” 

“Arrested?? For what??” 

“Yea, she got into a fight with her new boyfriend at a bar and they hauled them both off to County. Gotta post bail for both of them by tomorrow afternoon. Or she’ll have to sit there until Monday.”

Raven felt the ache in her head grow but this had nothing to do with the concussion. She would never understand how she was the ugly duckling of the family, the forgotten and unwanted second daughter when Kiara, the prodigal perfect daughter, could barely hold down a job or stay out of trouble for more than a week. Well, that was not true. She completely understood… it did not make it easier to stomach or deal with though. 

“How much?” 

“$10k for them both.” 

“Ten thousand US American dollars??” she cried out loudly, her shock getting the better of her. At that, Michael’s movements did still for a moment, he had been trying not to listen but her outburst made it rather difficult. “I c-can’t come up with that type of money today. Not just because it’s impossible but I’m in the hospital.” 

She heard her dad sigh. “Your sister can’t sit in jail all weekend, she’ll be hurt in there. I’m pulling some money out of savings but it isn’t enough.” 

Raven shook her head. “I’m doing just fine by the way, thanks for asking or caring,” she shot back. Michael could not help but glance over his shoulder at that, taking in the hurt and disappointed tone in her voice that she masked with snark. 

He felt the uncomfortable sting of rage at the despondent look on her face. He wanted to snatch the phone out of her hand and hang up on whoever it was. 

“I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well. But are you gonna send me the money or not? I don’t have time for this. Your sister is rotting in jail right now, only God knows what could be happening to her, and you wanna have an attitude? We are the only family you have. The least you could do is make sure we’re ok while you live it up in LA. I need $6,000.” 

She clenched her eyes shut. She knew that meant handing over her entire cut after she paid Helen and Tasha and then the last bit of savings she had left. But she also knew she could not say no. “Fine. I’ll figure it out and send you the money by tomorrow.” 

“Oh it’s her calling from the jail. I gotta go. Text me when you send it. Bye.” 

She pulled the phone from her ear and shook her head. “You’re welcome,” she muttered to herself. She leaned back in her pillows and forced her eyes to the ceiling to stop the tears that brimmed in her eyes from falling. She did not know why her family’s treatment still got to her, 28 years later. Tasha was right… She needed thicker skin in all areas of her life. 

“You good?” 

She pressed her hands into her cheeks as a couple tears fell. She felt a wave of embarrassment as she remembered Michael was in the room. As if her interaction with him could not get any worse. They went from mind blowing sex to a hospital room and brain injuries to tears. 

You really ruin everything for everyone, she thought to herself. 

“Yea, yea. Just dumb family stuff.” She waved her hand dismissively. “It’s nothing.” 

“I thought I told you I didn’t like lies.” 

Raven eyed him for a moment. Part of her would love to talk to someone about her family drama, unload all the pent up feelings she pushed deep down into her soul. However, she knew she could not do it with him of all people. So instead of the vulnerability and honestly he demanded, she instead offered him a cheeky smile. 

“The Nicole that responds to your demands costs $5k a night. And as you heard on the phone, I could most certainly use it,” she added with a wink. 

“Nicole?” The doctor came in just as Michael was about to open his mouth to respond. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I got hit in the head.” She glanced at Michael with an expression that read what kinda stupid question is that? He merely snickered.   

“Makes sense. Well you have a very mild concussion. You’ll need to rest for at least the next 7 days… avoid a lot of screens and movement and anything that requires a lot of mental power. It was very mild though so you should be back on your feet soon. You’re free to go.” 

“Thank you,” she muttered. A week in bed meant a week of no work. And all the money she had to show for this disastrous night was gone. However, she had no time to really wallow in any of that. One thing Raven always did was figure it out. 

She slid out of bed, immediately swaying slightly causing Michael to rush to her side. He was quick on his feet, all that boxing training went to good use. He caught her before she crumbled fully, guiding her back to the bed. 

“Gotta move a lot slower than you’d think with a concussion, especially the first few days. You sure you’re gonna be good on your own?” he asked as he stared down at her. 

She chuckled, the sound void of any true humor. “Yea I’ll be fine. Always am. Thanks for the assist. C-could you hand me my dress?” 

Michael grabbed her clothes from the table in the corner. He watched her as she slid it back on, her movements far more measured and slow as she heeded his advice. She looked far more weary and exhausted than she did when she first woke up, as if that phone call and whoever was on the other line had aged her considerably. 

Once she was fully dressed and finished her discharge paperwork, she settled onto the bed to slide into her hospital slippers. Not the best shoes to wear home but they beat the uncomfortable heels she could barely walk in on a good day. 

“Thanks again… for waiting with me. You really didn’t have to.” She glanced down at her phone as she waited for him to respond, absentmindedly opening the Uber app so she could get a ride home. 

“What are you doing?” 

Her face twisted up in confusion. “Calling an uber?” 

“You shouldn’t uber home like this. I’ll drop you off.” 

Raven instinctively shook her head, the action causing a spot of pain that forced her to stop. “I-I can’t let you do that. You’ve done more than enough. Seriously.” 

“I wasn’t askin’. Ain’t about to let you uber home. If you don’t want me to know where you live, my driver can take you and he’ll come get me after.” 

Raven’s heart warmed at the thought. She did not like the idea of a client knowing where she laid her head every night. That seemed to be one of the few rules all the girls lived by. However, she trusted him. For some reason. 

“No, no, it’s not a problem. T-thank you.” 

Before she knew it, he and his security were hustling her out of a back entrance the hospital used for high profile guests and into a SUV with tinted windows. The car ride was virtually silent, Raven not knowing what to say or do around him. A night in a hospital meant they had a rapport. But he was still a client and this was the longest and most intimate interaction she had ever had with one. And everything since 3 am last night seemed like it was authentically from the kindness of his heart. She had promised him nothing in return for such kindness and he did not ask for anything. She wondered if he assumed and she just missed the cue? 

However, as they pulled up outside of her apartment building in her neighborhood, she glanced at him expectantly, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But nothing came. 

Instead, he merely said, “You sure you’re gonna be ok alone?” She could tell his eyes were searching the neighborhood, taking in the less than safe area she lived in. 

She nodded. “I, umm, have a roommate. So not fully alone. She’ll be home from work later tonight so I’ll be good. Thank you. A-and sorry again… for ruining your special day. At least, you got a good story for your friends and Tasha next time?” she chuckled. “I’m sure she’ll never let me live it down. Anyway… thanks again for everything a-and it was great to meet you.” 

She knew this was goodbye for good. Their one night together was just that, one night before he went back to being Tasha’s best client. She was the replacement, not the one they came back to for more. 

Though she did not fully know why, she reached over and grabbed his hand that rested between them and squeezed, “You were a hell of a first date,” she winked at him.  

Michael found the part of him he hated most did not want to say goodbye to her yet either. The part he kept caged and usually ignored had full control over him today. It was as if she had pressed all the right buttons to release that specific beast and did not even realize what she had done. Now, the beast roamed free and he found it difficult to herd it and the feelings it created back into their cages. 

He did not want to feel what Nicole made him feel… he did not want to care about whether her neighborhood was safe for her; he did not want to know who she was talking to so he could strangle them for causing that look in her eye; he did not want to know anything else about her like why she said she was a writer in the past tense, what she had written or what she turned to reading and writing to be saved from; and he did not want to feel the urge to reach in his pocket and write her a check for another $5,000 to solve whatever her problems were if it meant she would not look as she had in the hospital ever again. And most of all, he did not want to yearn for all those answers like he needed air. The man who would’ve done all those things, who would have already yielded to those feelings was gone. He needed to remember that. 

“Great meeting you too, Nicole” he offered shortly.  

Raven paused as she jumped out of the SUV, turning back to him. “It’s Raven, actually.”

At his raised eyebrow, she clarified, “My real name. You said you don’t like lies, remember?” Her smile was sweet and innocent. 

“I thought that was gonna cost me another $5k?” 

She smiled playfully, a light in her eyes that hadn’t been there since she woke up. “Spending your birthday in a hospital with a girl you didn’t even know means you earned my real name for free. And where I live… don’t turn out to be a stalker creep though,” she joked. “Cause that would suck.”

He laughed. “No stalking… got it. Thanks for the two birthday gifts then, Raven.” 

She offered him one final smile and wave before she closed the door and walked into her building. 

As he drove away, he was thankful to never see her again. He would return to the comfortability of Tasha who played her role and sparked no other feelings in him but carnal lust. That was all he had room for. All those other feelings Raven elicited would fade and the beast would be locked up once again.

As Raven laid in bed, trying to force herself to rest, she could not help but think a similar refrain. She could not get him out of her head. The duality of the way he fucked her with the care and kindness he showed her after. The genuine concern he seemed to have for her. She wanted more of that, more of him. She wondered what it felt like for him to make love to a woman, and wondered how it would feel to hear him call out her real name. Wondered how it would feel to be held by him… how he took care of her, even if it was only briefly. She thought about how it must feel to be loved by him, the intensity of it must have been intoxicating. She thought back to the night before, flashes of it coming to her. If she focused, she could still feel where his hands were, like fire against her skin. 

However, she knew those fantasies were dangerous and a fool’s errand. She could not fall head over heels for her first real date. That was not the job. And maybe she would find a client of her own like him one day, but she knew she would not last long if she pinned over every man who was nice to her. She thought she had let go of her hopeless romantic phase long ago but it still resurfaced every once in a while. But Tasha was right, she would not survive in their world long wearing her heart on her sleeve. And she needed to survive, her family needed her to survive. So, she would never see the Michael B. Jordan again and she, too, was thankful. Because then she would forget about him and move on.  

She sighed as she settled into bed. Despite ending up in the ER, the night had been a success. Michael had been pleased, which was all that mattered and hopefully he relayed that to Helen. And that meant more clients, more opportunities to make money and get her life, at least financially, back on track. That’s all she needed and wanted to focus on. Anything else, fantasies of a man she could never have again, were foolish and best left for the characters she wrote in her free time. 

Sleep eluded both Michael and Raven that night as they were plagued with fantasies of each other, the person they both knew was foolish to want because they knew they could not have them. 

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