you soften every dark thought in my mind

10 Ways To Lose Her 1. Letting someone else tell her why they love her. Letting someone else notice her from her eyes to her sugar lips, and letting them tell her just how beautiful she is. 2. Letting someone else hold her tight when she cries. Letting someone else be understanding while you are exasperated and not willing to be supportive. 3. Not noticing the changes. How she hid her arms from you and how her heart beat angrily when you did not say you loved her back. 4. Not saying you love her back as you lay on the floor with her and let her pour her soul into you. Even worse, when she brings it up, not taking the opportunity to apologize, to let her know she is your world. 5. Letting her begin all the romantic conversation. Only saying “I love you too”, and never, “I’m in love with you.” 6. Allowing yourself to be filled with disingenuousness, to have the nerve to tell her you are in love with her once and to say it never again. 7. To imagine a future with her, but only if she promises to change things about herself. 8. Letting her fall deeply in love with you, and never fully making her aware how in love you are too. 9. To shun her from time, to never ask to call her, to only call when she finally brings herself to ask the question despite how belittled she feels for always having to be the one to do it. 10. The easiest way to lose her, is to let her go.

The thing that bothers me the most is that if you missed me, you would’ve called; yet I haven’t heard from you at all.

it’s not fair that you get to move on and love again while I’m left comparing his hands to yours

I woke up from a nightmare, and I just wanted to talk to you about it. Then I realized you aren’t around anymore and that I awoke into a nightmare worse than the one in my mind.

Everything I ever write to you starts with I’m sorry, but I have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn’t our fault, we never wanted it to end this way. For so long I thought didn’t care, that you never did. I know now that it was the complete opposite. What I am sorry for is that our timing wasn’t right. Maybe if the leaves weren’t falling and the world was alive instead of dying we could have been right.

I’ve come to a point in my life where “I love you” just doesn’t have the same meaning as it used to before. Sure, you can love me. You can fall in love with my eyes, with the way I tuck my hair behind my ears, with the way the sunshine hits the color of my skin. You can love me in a hundred and one different ways but it wouldn’t mean anything if you don’t choose me. So yes, you could tell me you love me and my heart will skip a beat and I’ll have butterflies in my tummy and I will feel the earth shake on my feet - I will feel so happy, my heart could burst out of my chest… but it simply just won’t be enough anymore. So this is what I need from you: Tell me you choose me. When I’m slumped on the floor ridden with guilt and grief from everything that has ever and will ever hurt me - hold me and tell me you choose me. When I’m pushing you away, when my fists are up and the ugliest of things come out from this mouth you proclaim to love - say you choose me anyway. When I’m broken, when you can’t fix me, when no amount of I love you’s in the world can assuage my pain - please, hold my face, shake me a little, say, “look at me, I choose you, okay?” You can tell me you love me. You can shout it to the world. You can say it to me a million times and it will be what I want to hear. But telling me, “I choose you” - darling, that’s all I will ever need.

you only want me when I’m the only girl in the room.

I dreamt last night that you came back. You layed there, holding onto me, the words dripping off your tongue like honey as you apologized for leaving and when you kissed me you tasted of it too. We kissed and kissed, pouring every apology, every tear, every ounce of love into each other. I awoke screaming, not because I hated it, not because it was a nightmare, but because it was everything I had been wishing for.

And ever since you’ve left, I’ve been trying to find a place inside my heart not poisoned by the touch of you

I like to pretend that I would slam the door in your face if I found you on my doorstep five years from now. I like to think that, given what happened, I’d tell you to get lost and never call me again. If you’d ask why, I’d list all the things you’d ever done to me, all the times you’d broken my heart and made me feel like being myself wasn’t enough. I like to pretend I’d recognise you for the waste of time and tears you were. That you still are. But there is that small part of me that is afraid. That small part of me that would hold open the door for you and invite you in, the part that would offer you a cup of coffee and remember that you like it with too much sugar. The part of me that still craves your presence on some days and misses the way you brushed my hair from my forehead or how you laughed too loud or swore too much or let me call you in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. There is one thing I’m sure of, though. I hope you never show up on my doorstep again because God, I have no idea what I would do.

I have a tendency to fall in love when I’m falling apart.

tonight, she’ll choose sleep over you.

I hope you wake up one day and you’ll roll over, half asleep and reach for me only to find the empty sheets. And I hope you loose your breath and I hope you lay there now fully awake, and think “fuck why did I ever leave her.” I hope you’ll lose sleep over me the way I did over you.

losing you didn’t just mean i lost a significant other losing you meant i lost my best friend

I longed for you for months after you left me, and even though I was prepared for a long time, it broke me down piece by piece. I don’t remember the person I was before I loved you, and I don’t think I’ll ever get her back. And that’s your fault. I made you understand yourself and you made me lose the person I spent years trying to find. Now I’m left with nothing but memories of the person you made me turn into, and I don’t like her. She’s cold. Distant. She’s no longer laughing like she used to and, she doesn’t dance in the shower or sing in her room when no one’s listening. But I guess that’s what you get when you put everything you are, and everything you stand for into the hands of someone else. I guess that’s the reward. You lose yourself but you get to love them.

There were a thousand memories that I had taken for granted~ mostly because I had assumed there would be a thousand more.