this planet … it’s very dear to me.

I feel like if you want to support transmascs, transfems and trans people as a whole you don't start by trashing their terms for themselves on principle? If you say you wouldn't do it to a trans woman, why would you do it to a trans man? Did you do it? Did you save every trans women? Should we invite Ariana Grande? /ref

Maybe you don't like the choice of word. Okay, whatever, you think it shits in the face of intersectionality because you can't be oppressed for being a man. 1- yes you can?? You can't divorce the man part from the trans part when you're a trans man. 2- is a choice of word you didn't vibe with worth sweeping the specific oppression of an entire demographic under the bus? Is this really your priority here?

Also, is it worth it to use trans women as your example like a shield? This feels a bit mocking of them too.

I've seen this shit happen since ace discourse. People never apologize, just move targets. If my friends can't feel safe around their long time friends they need to get the fuck away from them. Not a fucking word man, just cut off. Yeah I trust people who do that to protect the queer community /sarc. (By uuuhh isolating their queer friend???)

this doesn’t just affect trans men, but all of us queer folks who align with transmasculinity in any form. whether we’re genderfluid, bigender, nonbinary, or demiboy — if we carry masculinity in our identity or presentation, we’re all seeing folks turn on us.

yes, we are called traitors for being masculine when we had “a choice” not to be. yes, we are seen as “failed girls” or “confused” or “butch women” or “tomboys” or any number of other words to describe us as feminine. anything to escape the idea that masculinity could be a positive experience for anyone, ever. it’s caused so many of my friends to end up back in the closet, using less masculine pronouns, moving their presentation more feminine.

why is the concept of a “femboy” more culturally appropriate than a trans man??? why do people feel comfortable shouting that all men are essentially evil, even (or especially) trans men? why is putting he/him in bio seen as an utter betrayal?? why is simply being a man and sharing my experiences enough to make folks call me transphobic, anti-feminist, or even a liar? why do people perceive my existence as a direct attack on other women?

i can tell you why. this mindset has utterly infiltrated common queer thought to the point that we’re trying to destroy and push out expressions of gender that threaten to upset it. and i see a lot of folks call out radical feminism as the culprit — which, yes, they don’t much like trans men, do they? — but that’s the easy answer, isn’t it? something insidious and secretive and outside the norm so you don’t have to be the problem.

no. it’s rooted in conventional old regular culture, and it’s everywhere. if you talk to any cishet woman of just about any political and cultural makeup, she would agree with you. yes, men can’t be trusted. yes, men are inherently violent. yes, men are ugly, evil, and stupid. that’s not a radical idea: it’s literally the most base level boomer joke there is, right next to a “my wife” joke. so of course when such a woman is faced with the idea that a woman might not be a woman at all? that he might be a man? disgust, shock, horror, fear. and you’re surprised that you’ve absorbed this into your worldview? you were raised on it.

“okay, you’re only experiencing this because of misogyny.” so you’re going to degender us again? we’re only experiencing this because we are, in fact, actually women? we have a word to use for this experience that doesn’t degender us. it’s transandrophobia. it’s that simple. you can even call it a subset of misogyny or influenced by misogyny if you want. i won’t be pressed, as long as you understand that this experience is real.

does it make you uncomfortable that a trans person is experiencing transphobia that you might be perpetuating? good. get uncomfortable. sit with it. listen to our voices. understand that these experiences are real and tangible.

transandrophobia as a term, is just a word to describe a specific experience almost all of us are having. you can’t see it? transmascs are drowning, and you won’t throw us a life preserver because we’re just choking a little actually?

all you have to do is listen.

just listen.