IF YOU LOVE ME TELL ME I'M WRONG

Things I wish I could tell the people who were once the kids who made me feel like crap in school:

You probably have no idea how much you hurt me.

I expect you to confront this truth about yourself as you grow up: You did bad things. I think you cannot truly be mature or a good person unless you work through this.

And be sure to let it make you better. The least you can do is draw some meaning from this sorry episode.

You didn’t just hurt me as a kid. You did damage to me, the adult, that I’ve been working for years to undo. For things that come naturally to you, I have to work: You handicapped me. Should you ever wish to apologize, and should you care whether I accept your apology, you need to be aware of this. An apology from adult-you to adult-me, as if we were parents speaking about our silly children, will not do. Apologize to the adult you never gave a single thought to.

Flying is terrible for the environment. And since we’re already on the topic, alternative modes of (especially long-distance) travel (train, bus, car, ship) aren’t innocent either, and not even always better than the plane. But I’ve noticed that some people  think that if you don’t go far away, you’re not getting a holiday. And I find that a pretty sad way to look at life. Because of course you need holidays! And of course you should have fun during them and get a break from your everyday life! Craving these things totally doesn’t require you to fly, and alternative options really deserve more credit.

So I’m starting this list of alternative ideas for spending rewarding holidays that tick off one or many of the typical functions of tourism (e.g. relaxation, separation from home, new stimulation, the chance to explore other versions of oneself, beautiful visuals, getting to know the world and its people). These ideas have some overlap, but for the sake of explicitness are still separated.

Live Action Role Playing

Pretending to be someone else, somewhere else, possible in another time or even universe, with others. It’s basically a powerful form of travel without movement, with far more possibilities than corporeal travel.

 Volunteering

Especially for young people, there are many ways to try out life-worlds that differ from your homeworld: For example through internships, or through volunteer work. The French Service Civile organizes volunteering camps for young people where you can get to know others from other countries, while doing something you wouldn’t normally do – in your own country. In this way, for example, I experienced life in a commune for two weeks – in combination with physical labour – both of which combined into a completely new experience for me that definitely fit the description of “travel” in the sense of “going away from home”. I’ve also volunteered in a circus project for poor kids in the city where I lived, which took me to a different lifeworld for a week and only cost one day of training beforehand.

Staycation

Nowadays the only time we’re ever home with time on our hands to do what we want to and really recharge is when we’re sick. As modern adults, I’m betting that there’s something you really would love to have in your life but can’t find the time for in your daily routine. You can address this during a holiday at home! You can turn your apartment into a luxury resort, taking baths and trading massages; you can chill with your partner and/or friends, throw a party with enough time to prepare and clean up, carry out an ambitious DIY project, improve your home, give your kids all the attention they want (and go do all the things with them that they want), read that pile of waiting books, learn something you’ve been wanting to learn …

Educational holiday

Intensive language classes are all the rage. But you can actually take a week off to learn a new language or a new skill … at home. Intensive language classes may exist close to you if you live in a city, or you’ll definitely be able to find someone to form an intensive language tandem with you.

Beyond languages, there are workshops offline and online, not to mention all the books that you can learn from – knowledge or skills that you’ve always wanted to possess.

Country holiday

So you’re interested in a country, or you just want to get some distance from your own. Why don’t you learn about it from home? You can invite the friends you would like to take with you for a weekend at your place; you will learn to cook some local dishes and eat them together (or go to a specialized restaurant), watch documentaries about that place, watch movies playing there or vloggers from there; you can go online to chat with people from there, or maybe you’re even able to find somebody from there in your city through an ad on social media who’s willing to come by and talk to you.

Gaming

Of course, some people I don’t need to tell this, but video games are completely underrated by large parts of the population as means to, well, travel. They have (or can have) basically all the elements of travel mentioned above, and there is an enormous variety. For the cost of a holiday abroad, you can definitely afford even a good and expensive game and the equipment for it (if you even need anything additional to the computer you probably already have). Starting a multiplayer role-playing game, for example, together with some friends, can feel just like exploring a new country together – because basically, that’s what you’re doing. For this purpose I strongly recommend open world games. But there’s something for everybody – to learn, to relax, to become someone else, to simply revel in beautiful scenery, or to virtually experience unusual and challenging situations.

Owning your home

Staying where you are and getting to know/reconnecting with your immediate or mediate environment. Truly owning a place, knowing every mountain and every village in the region, has a value.

Tourism at home

Tourism is very much a state of mind. If you approach your city or your region with a tourist’s mindset, you will see different things, meet different people, and live differently.

A sub-form of this could be staying for a week or any time you want at a hostel near you. Interact with the tourists from other countries who pass through. Your story of why you’re there and where you’re from and what you’re doing will probably be more interesting than most of theirs.

The same goes for other forms of travel: There are luxury hotels in cities near you, as well as campsites in the surrounding area.

Activism

Sometimes, political activies require some consolidated time. I’m thinking of the environmental mass actions of civil disobedience currently happening in Europe – for example the climate camp in Germany, the year-round occupied forest nearby, the climate games in Switzerland. Being able to spare time for something like that serves a purpose, and can definitely take you to another world and lead you to meet people you otherwise wouldn’t and who live completely different lives than you.

Subculture tourism

In today’s cities, there are so many cultures and subcultures clustered together that you can live completely different lives that never touch even though they’re spatially in the same place. Why are we so interested in visiting other cultures abroad, but want nothing to do with the people from those cultures who live close to us? Why don’t we spend a day in Chinatown, attend a music festival of a genre we’re unfamiliar with or suspicious of? (Beware of appropriation and using other humans to be your props. Respect boundaries and ask for permission too often rather than too seldom. But the same goes in a holiday abroad.)

How else can you experience another way of living?

It’s really more about asking particular questions, I think, than about ticking off these (or other) suggestions. What is it that you, at this time, really crave out of your holiday? And what are some possible ways you could get this? For spiritual challenge - does it have to be Bali, or can it be a week-long meditation retreat nearby? For solitude - does it have to be Canada, or can you find isolated spots much closer to you, where you will have the chance to visit much more often if you want to return? For adventure, does it have to be Africa, or is a survival bootcamp in your country even more exciting? What works for you?

René Scheu, NZZ, 04.09.2018

- Rosemary Randall

They are increasingly becoming my poets, these brave and clear-headed scientists.

Yes, I feel this very deeply. It is so hard to work through these emotions of heartbreak, of guilt, of anticipated longing, and of fear, when most people around me - both strangers and close companions - do not even acknowledge the necessity of them - or even become impatient or annoyed with me for expressing them. I lack both role models and peers. What’s more, I feel responsible in my role as activist to actively withhold these emotions from “the public” - so as not to scare them off, so as not to compromise the feel-good tales we’ve been taught to tell of small steps, green growth, or post-capitalist utopian happiness.

I was raised in the same world as you, my body is like yours. I too enjoy hot showers and distant lands and convenience food. Much of your concern and anger I understand perfectly, and the rest I am willing to learn from you.

I too am subjecting myself to change. I would never ask you to do something I have not also done. In fact, I am learning and changing every day.

I hope you’re right. I hope you’re right and I’m wrong. I hope that in fifty years you and I really will be laughing about the big scare of the early century.