Socialism in one hell

@stalin-in-hell

Josef, age 140. Former communist dictator. Deceased. I am currently serving an eternity sentence in Hell with no chance of parole, due to my crimes against humanity. As part of my devine punishment I am forced to be a tumblr user. Ask me about all the terrible things Lev Trotsky did to me. (Obviously Satire. LMAO)

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No Hamas fighters down here, in case any of you were wondering.

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They aren't even going to even punish kissinger. He had to spend 100 years upstairs with you freaks. That's punishment enough. Sorry to disappoint.

#This event is the entire reason why this blog was created in the first place and you all know it.

thebibliosphere

Donning a hazmat suit to clean out the toxic wasteland my inbox has turned into from pro-monarchists throwing temper tantrums over being called out on their jingoism and general unthinking bigotry.

pippinsquishums

Holy shit. I haven’t read the word jingoism in so damned long LOL!

Where does it even come from? Lord have mercy.

thebibliosphere

I'm not sure if you're genuinely asking, but surprising absolutely no one, it originated in the UK as a form of a particularly virulent strain of British nationalism between 1877-1878 during the Russo-Turkish War. Britain really hated Russia at the time and, in a fit of inflated ego, wanted to join in the war and show them bally well what's what.

The song was written by G. W. Hunt, and the chorus went:

We don't want to fight, yet by jingo, if we do, We've got the ships, we've got the men, We've got the money, too!

If you're thinking, "oh well, that's nice, they wanted to come to the aid of Turkey," don't bother. It was mostly to prevent Russia from infringing on their trade routes with India. (Wikipedia)

It's also widely thought that "jingo" was a euphemism for Jesus to avoid the sin of blasphemy. Because, y'know, the sin of everything else they were doing was fine so long as it was for jolly old Britania.

After that, the word became a calling card for a particularly belligerent and chauvinistic type of British nationalism that unfortunately prevails today.

Elizabeth Windsor just got here and already she's fighting with Philip again. I swear, they don't even need to actively torture us anymore. Just being here with these sort of people is bad enough.

mens-rights-activia

“We’ve been waiting for you”

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Mikhail Gorbachev just arrived. His new job is to drive around Hell delivering pizzas. As you can imagine the dead do not tip well.

ouroboros-girl-deactivated20221

i had a dream that i died and went to hell and there were different doors depending on which genre of metal is your favourite and we were all tortured differently

stalin-in-hell

No, no, that's not far off, actually.

It sounds like queen elizabeth will be joining you soon. What are the plans for her?

No definite plans yet but I think they're going to make her watch trashy celebrity gossip tv shoes about a royal family for a country she doesn't live in. She can feel the pain she inflicted on the rest of us.

Some Swedish woman with a half-zombie face is suing Satan for infringing on her trade mark. "You guys can't just add an extra L and call it originality!" She's not asking for a lot of money but she does hope this all gets resolved before Ragnarok.

#hell #hel #facts about hell

That's an easy one. Imperialism. That's why.

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It's true

😠 Liberal reformists, always trying to silence the left.

This happens in the fourth ring a lot and I can hear the noise all the way from down at my level.

lionofchaeronea

Ivan the Terrible and the Souls of His Victims, Mikhail Petrovich Klodt (1835-1914)

huntrad

me and my followers

la-volpe-bianca

Virgin Ivan, terrified and saddened by the ghosts of his enemies

VS

CHAD BISMARCK,

DABBING ON THE SOULS OF ONE MILLION DEAD FRENCHMEN

sighinastorm

Now hang on. Japan had a tradition of tentacle sex –sex with entire octopodes– going back centuries in ukiyo-e art.

sighinastorm

wrong post

agent-of-empathy-deactivated202

what the fuck was the right post

uppityamy

Don’t ask questions you don’t want answered

stalin-in-hell

Ghost Shame Day comes once a year in hell. It sucks but they usually have coffee and donuts afterword. Tentacle porn day isn't till January.

southerngentry

I used to think the idea that the USA could turn communistic was nonsense. It could never happen ...

stalin-in-hell

Rosa Luxemburg was wrong. Apparently it really is that easy. I'm so embarrassed for ever having been a revolutionary. #getoutandvote.

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If her communist newspaper is like any of the ones I ran, she must have made a whole 50 cents by now.

#reactionary memes

I’ve spent enough of my eternal damnation on the internet to know this is the incorrect format for this meme.

It’s supposed to say “Brace yourselves. ____ is coming.”

#reactionary memes

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