Disha, someone who can show you the right direction. Indeed she's the one who showed me direction in my poems through her eyes. But she's also a girl who can't decide between "Sita ramam" and "Laila Majnu" so we can tell that she's indecisive and has yet to find direction in her life. Hope, "disha" you'll find your "disha" as well as destination. <3
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I really love people who send you sky pics. Itโs so cute when someone sends me a sky pic from their place because itโs basically them sharing their Aasmaan with me. Itโs so beautiful to think about, ki apne hisse aye huye aasmaan mein kisi ko meri halki si jhalak dikhi toh us shaqs ne apne aasmaan ka ek chota sa tukda mere naam krdiya. I hope I am forever that person who is remembered by skies.
You know I feel this pit in my stomach everytime I realise how much potential I have and how I'm just wasting it away by rotting and overthinking about things that don't deserve my energy.
Will it make sense if I write it down??? Will it get better if I pour it out on a paper??? I don't think so. It didn't do any difference to Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf, Ernest hemingway. They spent their lives writing their hearts out, they spent their lives trying to save themselves from their minds. But in the end it didn't matter, did it??? So I think no one clearly writes to be read but rather we write to create witnesses in the form of words. That we tried as long as we could.
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If you could be a feeling, what would you be?? I think I would be yearning. Not the soft, gentle kind but rather devastatingly beautiful one. The one that I feel in my bones, the one which flows in the ink of my pen, the one that stares at me everytime I look at the sunset. I honestly feel like I have been yearning my whole life. For what if you may ask?? Maybe arms that could hold me when I have nowhere to go, maybe a place that feels like home, maybe a perfect moment where I'm happy?? But I think it's neither of these. My yearning makes me do stupid stuff sometimes and the only stupid stuff that I like doing while I yearn is creating art.
I yearn to be an artist, I yearn to create art, I yearn for art.
Your one creation is literally destroying your other creation. How do you feel??? These humans are becoming more cruel with every passing day. And the world is on fire. It's actually getting difficult to witness all this cruelty, it feels like a sin. Sin I didn't commit but still I'm carrying it's burden. None of this actually makes any sense but maybe to you it does. I hope it does.
I saw a video on instagram where a guy was talking about how weird it gets when as an artist you outgrow your own art. I mean I completely feel that but the thing is just because you have outgrown that piece of art it doesn't mean it's not relevant anymore. You might have evolved into a better artist now but there's some part of you for whom that piece of art is still relevant. And just as an honour to that version of yourself I think your art should be out there and who knows your previous version might be someone's current version now. I mean it could help them in ways you can't imagine. Right? But more importantly I personally feel there's no such thing as bad art till it comes from within you it's all just art. And you are bound to evolve and get better at what you do and during this process you will feel cringed out at your own art. But that doesn't mean it's not worth it.
Afterall you do art for yourself not for anyone else so all your versions need to be appreciated.
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Artists constantly fear exposing themselves a bit more than they should. They fear putting too much of themselves into everything they create. I think that art is the only way someone can be seen yet stay hidden. Well the truth is a person dies before becoming an artist not literally but I mean everything around them and inside them just goes up in flames before they decide to pick a pen, a paintbrush, an instrument or a camera. Artists often say they didn't choose art, art chose them. I feel that's not true, an artist always chooses art way before it knocks on their door.
I don't know whether pen and paper are enough or not. It doesn't feel like writing is working out. I really want to sit and have a conversation with God about everything that's been happening lately. And I want him to hug me and tell me that everything's going to be okay. That's the only way I can keep going.
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On days I can't love my life all I do is thank God.
There are days when I literally wake up with an anxiety attack and all I do is hate everything. Everything that I have and everything that I am. And I make it even worse by comparing myself and my life with others which is such a waste of energy honestly. Because there are gonna be people who would be good at dealing with things that you are struggling with, there are gonna be people who you think have it easy, there are gonna be people who are born with a silver spoon and they might get the opportunities that you are fighting for really easily. But you can't hate them for the way they are or the life they have. You can't be mad at others for having the things that you didn't get. Rather you gotta thank God for whatever you have. Even if it's not much it's still a lot. I thank God for not giving me the worst of all, there are so many ways things could have been so much worse. But they didn't cause God was looking out for me. I even thank him for making me hate things sometimes so that I can love him more.
