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Summary: Youâre a new ED doctor who wears a fake wedding ring to keep patients from flirting, but your observant colleague Jack notices and wants more.
A/N: Sorry for the lack of posts, I've been sick. This work is all mine, and proofread by Grammarly.
Masterlist
No two days in the emergency department were ever the same.
Some nights were quiet, with only a couple of patients coming in with fevers or coughs. Other nights were utterly chaotic, ambulances rolling in back-to-back, alarms blaring, doctors and nurses moving like a storm through the hallways.
But one thing never seemed to change: the patients who thought the emergency department was the perfect place to find a date.
You learned that lesson after just a week of working in the ED.
It didnât matter if someone had a broken arm or had suffered a heart attack; some men still found the energy to wink, grin, or make comments that made your skin crawl while you were trying to work. Sometimes it was harmless. Most of the time, it wasnât. And there was no running away when you were their doctor.
So you developed a plan.
When you transferred to PTMC and started working the night shift, the solution became routine. You werenât married. But a simple ring on your finger changed everything.
It wasnât flashy, just a simple silver brand that lived on your left hand whenever you had to work a shift. Most people assumed it was a wedding ring from a happy marriage, and you let them think that. In reality, it had cost ten dollars from an online store.
But it worked.
Some patients would never see you as their doctor, someone who had spent years in med school at the top of their class. Instead, they only saw a pretty woman standing close enough to flirt with.
However, when was there a ring on your finger? Suddenly, you were someoneâs wife.
So the comments stopped. The winks. The âyou got a boyfriend?â question. Everything disappeared. Apparently, being someoneâs wife made you off-limits in a way that simply saying no never did. Like you were someone elseâs property, it made them hesitate. Stupid, but the logic worked, so the ring stayed.
If any of your new co-workers noticed it, they never mentioned it or just assumed the obvious. Except Jack.
Jack Abbot noticed everything around him.
It was a habit from years as an army medic and now attending in one of the busiest emergency departments in the city. Jack didnât just see charts and symptoms. He saw the small things, the way someone held their shoulder, the slight limp in their step, the tremor in their hand.
And he noticed your ring. Not only because he was staring, but also because it was always there. You had a habit of twisting it when charting. It tapped against the counter when you were thinking. It left a bump under your gloves. It was a small detail, but Jackâs brain catalogued it anyway.
You were still new, and the few details that Jack knew about you had him intrigued: married, new to the hospital and worked well under pressure. And then there was something else he couldn't quite place, the pull he felt towards you.
This night shift had started like any other, chaos in bursts but slowed at times. You were tucked into your usual rhythm, moving between patients, checking vitals and charting.Â
It wasnât until the trauma phone went off that it paused your movements.
âLevel two trauma, motor vehicle collision," Lena shouted as she answered the call. âFive minutes out.â
Your adrenaline spiked, and Jack was already moving, tablet in one hand, gloves snapping as he prepped for the incoming patient. You were paired on this trauma together, moving almost instinctively as a team.
The patient arrived bloodied, unconscious, and chest rattling with each forced breath. You slid the IV line into the patientâs arm while Jack called out instructions for the rest of the team.Â
Jackâs eyes were everywhere at once, vitals, monitors, and the team's movement, but his gaze happened to flick across your hand. And that's when he noticed. Your ring. It wasnât there.
A small detail that others would have overlooked, but made him pause for a fraction of a second. A movement he couldn't afford in a place like this. He didnât realize until now how much he had noticed it, how automatic it was to look at you during shifts and see that silver band wrapped around your finger. Tonight, it was nowhere to be found.
Jack quickly turned his focus back on the patient, but the details lingered in his mind.
Minutes passed in a blur of intubation, transfusion, chest compressions, and desperate interventions. Despite the skill and precision of the team, the injuries were too severe.
The patient coded. The monitor went flat. Time of death was announced.
You stepped back, heart sinking, and Jackâs hand went to your shoulder, not to blame, but to ground you as the weight of loss pressed down on the team. Sometimes, despite doing everything right, it wasnât enough.
By the end of the shift, the ED was quieter than usual. The hum of machines, the footsteps of staff cleaning up, and the weight of loss hung heavy in the air. Jack glanced at you while filling the final chart, noticing that your finger remained bare.
âAre you going out too?â He asked. Shen had suggested that everyone go out for a drink to cope, and no one seemed to argue.
âYeah⊠I could really use a drink.â Your hands hovered over the keyboard, trembling slightly.
Jackâs gaze lingered on you, a mixture of concern and something softer, harder to define. âYeah⊠me too,â he muttered. The unspoken weight between you decided for you.
There was a bar a few blocks down from the hospital where everyone gathered after shifts. It was louder than usual for a weekday, the low thrum of music and conversation filling up the air. It had discounted drinks and dim lighting, a place where no one asked the doctors or nurses what had just happened when it looked like they had been through hell.Â
Jack was sitting in a booth near the back with John, nursing a half-finished beer. His scrubs had been swapped for a dark jacket, but exhaustion still lined his face.
John exhaled slowly, rubbing a hand down his face. âHell of a shift.â
Jack nodded once, staring at the condensation on his bottle. âYeah.â Silence followed, heavy but not awkward. The burden of the night weighed on him.
His eyes drifted across the bar and landed on you. You were on a stool near the counter, chatting with one of the nurses, a drink in hand. Your laugh was softer than usual, slower, the kind that came from alcohol loosening the edges of the hard night.
His gaze dropped to your hand once again.
Still no ring.
âHey,â John said, standing and grabbing his empty bottle. âIâm getting another. Want one?â
Jack lifted his bottle slightly. âIâm good.â
John nodded and disappeared into the crowd.
Jack leaned back in the booth, letting his eyes wander again. They found you on your way over, movement slightly unsteady, yet deliberate.
âHey, Doc,â you muttered, sliding into the seat across from him, sighing softly as your forearms rested on the table.
âYou okay?â he asked immediately. It wasnât unusual for Jack to see his coworkers like this after a shift, but he still wondered if this was normal for you.
You huffed out a small laugh that didnât sound very amused. âDefine okay.â
Jack didnât answer right away. Instead, he studied you, the tired eyes, the way your shoulders slumped, the weight of the night still sitting on you.
âRough one,â he said finally.
Your gaze dropped to the table. âYeah.â
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The noise of the bar filled the silence.
âI kinda like this part,â you admitted quietly.
Jack tilted his head slightly. âThe bar?â
You shrugged, tracing the rim of your glass with your finger. âYeah⊠not why weâre here, exactly. But the team gets together. Feels⊠lighter. Less like youâre carrying it alone.â
He softened. Heâd seen too many new doctors burn out trying to carry everything. He understood.
âAt my last hospital,â you continued, your voice a little looser from the alcohol. âEveryone just⊠went home. Pretended nothing happened. But here you guys carry the wins and the losses together.â
âYeah,â he said quietly. âIt helps.â
You nodded, shoulders relaxing slightly as you took another sip. Even in your tiredness, there was a warmth to you now.
For a second, Jack just studied you again. The way the tension slowly left your posture. The way you still looked tired but lighter now that the shift was behind you.
Then his eyes drifted back down to your hand. Bare,
He hesitated before speaking. âSo⊠everything alright at home?â
You blinked up at him. âAt home?â
Jack nodded subtly toward your hand. âYou usually wear a ring.â
You stared at him, surprised. Then laughed, soft, tipsy, a little embarrassed. âOh my god⊠alright, Iâll let you in on a secret.â
Jackâs brow lifted.
âWhat?â
You held up your hand, wiggling your fingers slightly.
âItâs fake,â You leaned back in the booth a little, clearly amused.Â
ââŠYour ring is fake?â
You nodded, taking another sip of your drink before explaining. âPatients, some of them get⊠handys. Especially at night. You say no, you ignore them, but it doesn't always work.â
Jackâs jaw tightened slightly. Yeah. Heâd seen that.
âSo I bought a ring,â you continued, tapping your bare finger. âTen dollars online. Suddenly, Iâm someoneâs wife. The flirting stops. Itâs like magic. Stupid, but it works.â
Jack studied you quietly for a moment. It wasnât the confession itself that caught his attention; it was the way you said it so casually, as youâd simply adapted to the world instead of letting it push you out of a job you clearly loved.Â
âThatâs⊠actually pretty clever,â he admitted.
You grinned. âRight?â
Jackâs gaze lingered, softer now. âSo the husband doesnât exist.â
âNope.â
Jack smiled into his drink, a warmth threading through him. Somehow, hearing this made him admire you more.
âWell,â he said casually, taking another sip of his beer, âif youâre going to invent a husbandâŠâ
You raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by where this was going.
ââŠyou should at least give the guy a decent name.â
You laughed softly. âOh yeah?â you asked. âWhat would you name him then?â
Jack pretended to think about it for a moment, leaning back in the booth.
âHm.â
Your eyes narrowed playfully. His gaze met yours, something teasing sparking there.
âJack,â he said.
You blinked.
âJack?â
He shrugged lightly, a small grin forming.
âSounds reasonable.â
You stared at him for a second before laughing, the sound warmer this time.
âWow,â you said. âThatâs bold.â
Jack lifted his bottle slightly, clearly enjoying himself now.
âJust saying,â he replied. âIf youâre going to make up a fake husband, you might as well pick a good one.â
You shook your head, still smiling into your drink.
âCareful, Abbot,â you said lightly. âPeople might start to think youâre volunteering.â
Jackâs eyes stayed on you a moment longer than necessary.
âWould that be so bad?â he asked quietly.
The question hung between you for a beat before the noise of the bar swallowed it again.
The next shift felt strangely normal after the night before.Â
Did you drunkenly flirt with a fellow attending? Yes, but did you regret it? Nope.
The ED hummed with its usual controlled chaos; it almost felt strange that the world kept moving after a shift like that. You were currently charting at the nursesâ station, twisting the silver band on your finger without really thinking about it.
âNice to see your husbandâs back.â
You looked up. Jack was leaning against the counter across from you, tablet tucked under his arm, the corner of his mouth curved in that quiet, knowing smile.
âOh my god,â you laughed, shaking your head. âAre you really going to start with that today?â
âOf course,â he said, a small, confident grin tugging at his lips. âIâm hoping to get an audition to play him.â
You blinked at him, half amused, half exasperated.
âWhat?â you said, lifting an eyebrow.
âIf youâre going to invent a husband,â he continued, voice low and teasing, âsomeone has to audition for the role. And I think Iâd be perfect.â
You laughed softly, shaking your head. âYouâre ridiculous.â
âRidiculous, maybe,â he admitted, â but if I'm going to audition for the role properly.. I should probably take my lovely wife out⊠maybe for dinner or coffee sometime. To make sure I'm playing the part right.â
You blinked, caught off guard by the smoothness of it. âJack Abbot, are you asking me out on a date?
Jackâs grin widened, confident but teasing. âCall it a test run. Coffee after shift, and I can show you my best husband skills.â
You felt a blush creep up your neck and laughed softly, shaking your head. âI⊠Yes, that sounds perfect.â
âGood, Iâll see you later, wifey.â With that, Jack left the nurses' station, heading into a patient room.
Your chest tightened, heart beating faster. Somehow, the chaos of the ED and the fake ring felt far away. Jack Abbot had made something pretend feel achingly real.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
billy dunne x fem stylist!reader
content warnings: none!
summary: Caught in an endless cycle of on-again, off-again, you know exactly who he is, sharp edges, careless words, and all. You know how it ends. And still, you keeps choosing him like a Madwoman.
wc: 4.2k
masterlist.
The thing about being the bandâs stylist is that no one really notices you, until they do. You exist in the in-between spaces, tucked behind racks of clothing and half-open garment bags, moving quickly, quietly, making everyone else look like they belong under stage lights without ever stepping into them yourself. Itâs a system that works. Itâs a distance that works.
Until Billy Dunne walks back into your space like he never really left.
âYou got anything that doesnât make me look like Iâm trying too hard?â he asks, already shrugging off his jacket before youâve even turned around, like muscle memory has carried him here. Like it always does.
You donât look up right away, fingers flipping through hangers with practiced ease. âEverything you wear looks like youâre trying too hard,â you say lightly. âItâs kind of your thing.â
Thereâs a pause behind you, just long enough to feel it.
âMissed you too.â
The smile comes before you can stop it. You hate that. You hate that he can still pull it out of you so easily, like nothingâs changed, like two weeks isnât long enough to break a habit.
âDonât start,â you warn, finally glancing over your shoulder as you pull a black button-down from the rack. âWeâre being normal tonight, remember?â
âRight,â he echoes, and thereâs something almost amused in the way he says it. âNormal.â
You raise an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. âDonât look so excited.â
âIâm thrilled,â he deadpans, and for a second itâs easy, too easy, falling into the rhythm of this, into something that feels familiar in a way thatâs both comforting and dangerous.
You hand him the shirt, careful this time. Casual. Intentional. Your fingers donât linger when they brush his, even though they used to. Even though part of you still wants to.
Thatâs new. Thatâs you trying.
âTry this,â you say, turning back to the rack before you can think too much about it. âAnd donât ruin it.â
âI donât ruin things,â he replies, like he didnât ruin this exact situation two weeks ago.
A quiet laugh slips out of you, soft and automatic. âThatâs actually really funny.â
You can feel his eyes on you after that, heavier now, like heâs trying to read something youâre not offering. Thereâs a flicker of something in his expression when you glance backârecognition, maybe, or something closer to guiltâbut it passes as quickly as it came, replaced by something easier. Something safer.
He pulls the shirt on, leaving it half-buttoned, uneven, like he knows exactly what heâs doing. Like he knows youâll step in.
You hesitate. Just for a second.
You donât have to. Thatâs what you told yourself. Thatâs what the last two weeks were supposed to prove.
But your body moves before your pride can catch up.
âTurn around,â you say, stepping closer, fingers already reaching for the collar. âYou dress like youâve never met me.â
âThought we werenât doing that,â he says quietly.
You smooth the fabric over his shoulders, ignoring the way your chest tightens at that. âI said weâre being normal,â you correct. âNot that weâre pretending we donât know each other.â
âHard to forget,â he murmurs, and itâs softer than anything else heâs said so far.
Your hands pause.
Too close.
You can feel the heat of him, the familiarity of it, like your body remembers something youâve been trying very hard to forget. You focus on the buttons instead, working your way down carefully, deliberately, like it matters more than it does.
âHold still,â you say, quieter now.
âI am still.â
âNo, youâre-â You press your palm briefly against his chest to steady him, and the second your hand makes contact, you know it was a mistake.
You both feel it. That shift. Subtle, but unmistakable. Like something just clicked back into place that had no business fitting so perfectly.
You pull your hand away too quickly, stepping back like you touched something hot.
âThere,â you say, forcing a lightness back into your voice. âYou lookâŠfine.â
âJust fine?â he asks, glancing down at himself before looking back at you.
âDonât push it.â
He smiles at that, but itâs different this time, smaller, quieter, like it means more than the joke itself. âYou always say that,â he says. âThen you keep fixing it until itâs perfect.â
You shrug, turning away again before he can look too closely at your face. âOccupational hazard,â you say. âI donât like leaving things unfinished.â
The words settle between you, heavier than you intended.
When you glance back, heâs watching you in a way that makes your stomach twist.
âIs that what this is?â he asks.
You blink. âWhat?â
âUnfinished.â
For a second, just a second, you donât have anything to say to that.
Then you laugh, light and easy, like it doesnât hit at all. âGod, youâre dramatic,â you brush it off, turning back to the rack. âItâs a shirt, Billy.â
âRight,â he says again, softer this time.
You busy your hands with straightening clothes that donât need straightening, smoothing fabrics that are already perfect, trying to ignore the way your heartbeat has picked up, the way something in your chest feels just a little too tight.
You were doing fine. You were.
Two weeks of ignoring his calls. Of pretending it didnât bother you. Of telling yourself that this time, you meant it.
And now heâs here, in your space, wearing something you picked out, looking at you likeâŠ
âHey.â
You close your eyes for the briefest moment before turning back to him. âWhat?â
He hesitates, and that alone is enough to throw you off. Billy doesnât hesitate.
Then, softer than before, âYou look good.â
Itâs such a small thing. Barely anything at all.
And it still lands.
You shrug like it doesnât matter, even as something in you shifts, just slightly. âYeah,â you say. âI know.â
Your voice isnât as steady as you want it to be.
From somewhere down the hall, someone calls his name, Graham, probably, and the spell breaks just enough for him to glance away, pulled back toward the rest of his world. The noise, the stage, everything that doesnât include you.
He lingers anyway. Just long enough to look at you one more time, like he might say something else.
He doesnât.
Of course he doesnât.
âSee you out there,â he says instead.
Not later. Not after.
Just enough.
Always just enough.
You nod, like that doesnât mean anything. âYeah,â you reply. âTry not to sweat through it.â
âIâll try,â he says.
He wonât.
And then heâs gone.
The room feels quieter without him, even with the distant noise bleeding in from the hallway. You let out a slow breath, pressing your lips together as you turn back to your rack, fingers tracing absent patterns into the fabric of a shirt youâve already fixed twice.
Such a terrible idea.
Really. The worst one youâve had all year.
Youâve done this before, fell in, fell out, said no more.
You meant it. You really did.
Your reflection catches in the mirror across the room, and for a second, you just look at yourself. Steady. Aware. Not fooled.
And stillâŠ
A quiet, traitorous smile tugs at your lips.
âNormal,â you murmur under your breath, shaking your head.
Yeah.
Right.
From the side of the stage, everything feels louder.
Not just the music, the energy of it. The kind that crawls under your skin and settles there, buzzing, impossible to ignore. The lights cut sharp across the dark, blinding from certain angles, catching on sweat and metal and movement, turning everything just a little unreal. Youâve stood here a hundred times before, half-hidden behind speakers and cords, arms crossed like youâre just another part of the crew.
Which, technically, you are.
Thatâs what you tell yourself.
Youâre here for the clothes.
Youâre here in case something rips, or tears, or falls apart.
You are not here watching Billy Dunne like heâs something you forgot how to resist.
The first song ends in a crash of sound, the crowd roaring loud enough to rattle through your chest. You barely register it. Your focus is fixed somewhere else, center stage, where he stands under the lights like he was built for them.
Itâs annoying, honestly.
The way it comes so easily to him.
The way he doesnât even have to try.
His hair is damp already, pushed back just enough to fall forward again when he moves, the stage lights catching on the edges of it. The shirt you picked out clings in all the right places now, predictably, because of course he didnât listen when you told him not to sweat through it, and it makes something low in your stomach twist in a way you refuse to examine too closely.
You cross your arms tighter.
This means nothing.
Youâve seen him like this before.
Too many times.
Thatâs the problem.
He steps back from the mic, running a hand through his hair as the band transitions, and for a secondâjust a secondâhe glances off to the side of the stage.
Toward you.
Your breath catches before you can stop it.
Itâs stupid. You know itâs stupid. Heâs probably not even looking at you, not really. There are a hundred things happening at onceâcrew members moving, lights shifting, shadows flickering across the edges of the stage.
And still, it feels real.
Like he finds you in the middle of it all, like he always somehow does.
Your stomach flips, traitorous and familiar.
You look away first.
You always do.
The next song starts softer, slower. Something that lets his voice stretch out, rough around the edges in a way the crowd eats up immediately. You hear the shift in them, the way the screaming softens into something more focused, more intent. Itâs not just noise anymore, itâs attention.
Devotion.
You swallow.
Because you get it.
You hate that you get it.
Thereâs something about him up there, something that doesnât exist anywhere else. Not backstage, not in the quiet moments where he says the wrong thing or doesnât say anything at all. On stage, it all clicks into place. Every flaw smooths out, every sharp edge turns into something compelling instead of cutting.
Up there, he makes sense.
And maybe thatâs the worst part.
You step a little further into the shadows, like that might help, like distance will make it easier to breathe. It doesnât.
He leans into the mic, voice dipping lower, softer, and the sound of it goes straight through you. Youâve heard him talk a thousand times, argue, laugh, mutter under his breath, but this is different. This version of him knows exactly what heâs doing.
Knows exactly how it lands.
Your fingers curl slightly at your sides.
This is how it starts.
Not the fighting. Not the sharp words or the apologies that never quite say enough.
This.
Watching him like this. Forgetting, just for a second, everything that came before. Letting the feeling slip in easy, familiar, like it belongs there.
Like he does.
You shake your head, almost to yourself, trying to ground yourself in something real. The hum of the amps. The rough edge of the stage under your shoes. The faint smell of sweat and smoke and something electric in the air.
Youâve done this before.
You know how it ends.
He moves across the stage, energy building again, the band falling perfectly into rhythm behind him, and the crowd surges with it. Thereâs a momentâbrief, fleetingâwhere he laughs into the mic, something unplanned, something real, and it hits you harder than anything else.
Because that version of himâŠ
That one feels familiar.
That one feels like the man who stands too close to you backstage and says your name like it matters.
Your chest tightens.
âGod,â you mutter under your breath, dragging a hand down your face. âThis is so stupid.â
You donât mean the show.
You donât mean him.
Not really.
You mean yourself.
Because you can feel it happening, even as you try to shut it down. That slow, inevitable shift. The way your resolve, carefully built over the last two weeks, starts to crack at the edges.
You were doing fine.
You were.
He glances over again.
This time, you donât look away fast enough.
Itâs not obvious. It never is. Just a flicker, a split second longer than it should be. But itâs enough. Enough to make your stomach drop, enough to send that same electric feeling through you, sharp and familiar.
Like nothingâs changed.
Like everything has.
Your lips press together, breath catching in your throat as you finally tear your gaze away, staring down at the floor like itâll steady you.
It doesnât.
Because the truth settles in anyway, quiet and undeniable.
You already know how this goes.
You know the late-night conversations, the almost-apologies, the way heâll look at you when the noise dies down and itâs just the two of you again. You know how easy it is to slip back into that space, to pretend the in-between parts didnât happen.
You know how this ends.
Your eyes drift back to him, drawn like itâs something you canât control.
The lights catch on him again, the music swells, the crowd roars, and he looks-
God.
He looks good.
Too good.
Unfairly good.
You let out a quiet, defeated breath, something almost like a laugh slipping out with it.
âYeah,â you murmur, more to yourself than anything else, shaking your head just slightly.
Youâre done for.
And the worst part?
You donât even try to fight it.
Backstage after a show is never quiet, but itâs quieter.
The kind of quiet that hums instead of roars, where the music has settled into the walls and everything feels a little slower, a little heavier. Voices echo down the hall, crew members moving with practiced efficiency, laughter breaking out in pockets before fading just as quickly. The air smells like sweat and smoke and something faintly metallic, like the aftermath of something electric.
You keep your head down as you move through it, fingers busy with the rack youâve dragged into the dressing room, already sorting through pieces that need to be aired out, fixed, cleaned. Itâs easier this wayâfocusing on something tangible, something that doesnât look back at you.
You donât let yourself think about the show.
You donât let yourself think about him.
The door creaks open behind you.
You donât turn around.
âCareful,â you say lightly, still focused on unbuttoning a cufflink. âIf you drip on that, Iâm charging you for it.â
Thereâs a soft huff of a laugh, familiar enough that your hands falter for half a second before continuing like nothing happened.
âI thought you said we were being normal,â Billy says, his voice closer than it should be.
You force a small smile, even though he canât see it. âThis is normal. You ruining my work is very on-brand for you.â
He doesnât answer right away, and the silence stretches just enough to feel it. You can feel him there without lookingâstanding in the doorway, probably still riding the last of the adrenaline, still warm from the stage.
You tell yourself not to turn around.
You do anyway.
He looks exactly how you knew he would.
Hair damp and curling at the edges, shirt clinging in all the ways you told him it would, sleeves pushed up like he forgot they existed. Thereâs a flush to his skin, a brightness in his eyes that only ever shows up after a showâlike heâs still halfway out there, not fully back yet.
It hits you all over again.
You look away first.
âTake it off,â you say, nodding toward the shirt like thatâs the only thing youâre noticing. âBefore you ruin it completely.â
He glances down at himself, then back at you, something almost amused flickering across his face. âYou worried about the shirt?â
âAlways,â you shrug. âItâs the only thing in this room that listens to me.â
That earns you a quiet laughâreal this time, softer than it was earlierâand it settles into something in your chest before you can stop it.
You busy your hands again as he starts unbuttoning the shirt, slower than necessary, like he knows youâre not looking but might anyway.
You donât.
Not at first.
âYou were watching,â he says after a moment, casual in a way that isnât quite casual.
Your fingers still.
âYeah,â you reply, just as easy. âItâs my job to make sure you donât fall apart out there.â
âThat what you were doing?â he asks, and thereâs something quieter under it now. âMaking sure I didnât fall apart?â
You glance at him then, unable not to.
Heâs closer than before.
Of course he is.
âSomeone has to,â you say, trying for light, for teasing, even as something in your chest tightens.
He studies you for a second, like heâs trying to decide how far to push this, how much youâll let him get away with tonight.
You already know the answer.
âThought you were done with that,â he says finally.
There it is.
You exhale slowly, leaning back against the rack behind you, arms crossing loosely over your chest. âI am,â you say. âIâm just⊠good at my job.â
He nods like he understands, even though youâre not sure he does. Or maybe he does, and thatâs worse.
âRight,â he murmurs.
The space between you shifts again, something unspoken settling into it, heavier this time.
You should say something. You should make a joke, deflect, keep it where itâs safe and easy and normal.
Instead, you ask, âYou always look like that after a show?â
He raises an eyebrow. âLike what?â
âLike you know something the rest of us donât,â you say, softer now, like you didnât mean to say it out loud.
His gaze sharpens slightly at that, something in it flickering.
âMaybe I do,â he replies.
âYeah?â you hum. âWhatâs that?â
He takes a step closer.
You donât move.
âThat youâre still here,â he says.
Itâs such a simple thing.
And it lands exactly where he knows it will.
Your breath catches, just barely.
âOccupational hazard,â you repeat, even though it doesnât sound as convincing this time.
âIs that all it is?â he asks.
You should say yes.
You should laugh it off, turn away, put something, anything, back between you.
Instead, you hold his gaze.
âThatâs what we said,â you remind him quietly. âNormal, right?â
His mouth tilts slightly, not quite a smile.
âRight,â he echoes.
But neither of you steps back.
Thereâs a beat, just one, where everything feels suspended. The noise outside the room fades, the movement, the voices, all of it blurring into something distant.
Itâs just this.
Just him.
Just you.
You can feel it, the moment right before everything tips. The one youâve stood in before, the one you promised yourself you wouldnât walk into again.
You know how this goes.
You know exactly how this ends.
His hand brushes yours.
Light. Accidental.
Not accidental.
Your fingers twitch, like theyâre deciding whether to pull away.
They donât.
âTell me to leave,â he says quietly, and for the first time tonight, thereâs no edge to it. No teasing, no challenge.
JustâŠsomething honest.
You look at him.
Really look at him.
At the way heâs waiting, like he already knows what youâre going to say.
Like heâs counting on it.
You should.
You should tell him to go.
You should mean it this time.
InsteadâŠ
âDonât,â you say.
It comes out softer than you intended. Smaller.
Not donât leave.
Just donât.
And itâs enough.
Itâs always enough.
Something in his expression shifts, relief or something like it flickering through before it settles into something warmer, closer.
Familiar.
His hand finds yours again, more certain this time, and you let it.
Of course you do.
Youâre already here.
Already halfway back in.
The rest is just inevitable.
Morning comes in slowly.
It always does here, through half-drawn curtains and thin slats of light that stretch across the room like theyâre testing the space first, unsure if theyâre welcome. Itâs softer than the night was, quieter, like the world is giving you a chance to pretend nothing happened.
For a second, you almost take it.
You lie there, still half-asleep, eyes closed, wrapped in warmth that feels unfamiliar until it doesnât. Until it settles into something your body recognizes before your mind catches up.
Then you remember.
Not all at once. Not sharply. Just pieces, drifting back in like echoes.
The dressing room.
His hand in yours.
The way you didnât pull away.
The rest comes after that, slower, heavier. Laughter that felt too easy. A door closing behind you. His voice softer than usual, saying your name like it meant something. Like it always means something, even when it shouldnât.
You open your eyes.
The room is still. Quiet in that early-morning way, where everything feels suspended between what was and what comes next.
And heâs still here.
Billy is sprawled beside you, half on his stomach, one arm thrown loosely across the space between you like it belongs there. Like it always has. His hair is a messâworse than usualâfalling across his forehead, his breathing slow and even in a way youâve never really seen when heâs awake.
For a moment, you justâŠlook at him.
It would be easier not to.
It would be easier to get up, to slip out before he wakes, to leave this where it belongs, in the dark, in the version of you that only exists when the lights are low and the music is loud.
You donât.
Of course you donât.
Your fingers move before you think better of it, brushing lightly against his arm where it rests between you. Itâs absent, instinctive. The kind of touch that doesnât ask permission because it already knows the answer.
He stirs slightly, breath hitching just enough to pull you back into yourself.
You freeze.
Wait.
But he doesnât wake, not fully. Just shifts closer, like heâs chasing warmth in his sleep, his hand brushing your side before settling there, heavy and familiar.
Your chest tightens.
This is the part you never prepare for.
Not the night before. Not the pull of it, the way it always feels inevitable once youâre in it. You know how to exist there. You know how to move through that version of this, where everything is soft and electric and easy to mistake for something more.
Itâs this that gets you.
The quiet.
The stillness.
The way it almost looks like something real.
You swallow, eyes tracing the lines of his face like youâre trying to memorize something you already know too well. Thereâs no edge to him like this, no sharpness in the way he speaks or looks at you. No distance, no push and pull.
JustâŠhim.
You let yourself have it for a second.
Just a second.
Your hand lingers a little longer than it should, resting against his arm, your thumb brushing lightly over his skin like youâre not thinking about it.
Like youâre not already bracing for what comes next.
Because you know it will.
You always do.
Eventually, heâll wake up. Heâll pull back, just slightly. Not enough to hurt all at once, never that obvious. Just enough to remind you that thisâwhatever this isâdoesnât stay like this.
It never does.
You exhale slowly, staring up at the ceiling now, letting the weight of it settle back into place.
You meant it, last time.
You did.
When you said you were done. When you ignored his calls, when you told yourself that you werenât going to keep doing thisâthis cycle, this back and forth, this almost-something that never quite becomes anything more.
You knew better.
You know better.
Your gaze drifts back to him anyway.
To the way he looks like thisâunguarded, softer than he ever lets himself be when heâs awake. To the way his hand still rests against you, like he reached for you without even thinking about it.
Like itâs instinct.
Like you are.
And maybe thatâs the problem.
Not that he doesnât care.
But that he only does, like this.
In pieces.
In moments.
In the quiet hours before the world comes rushing back in.
Your lips press together, something tight and almost fond pulling at the corners of your mouth despite everything.
It would be so easy to stay.
To let yourself sink back into this, to pretend that this version of him is the only one that exists. To hold onto this moment and stretch it out as long as you can before it inevitably breaks.
You could.
You know you could.
Instead, you close your eyes for a second, steadying yourself.
When you open them again, nothing has changed.
Heâs still here. Still close. Still warm.
And you, youâre still exactly where you swore you wouldnât be.
A quiet breath leaves you, something softer than a laugh, more resigned than anything else.
âYeah,â you murmur, barely above a whisper.
You already know how this goes.
Youâve been through it beforeâfell in, fell out, said no more.
You meant it.
You did.
Your hand shifts slightly, curling into the sheets instead of reaching for him again.
But you donât move away.
Not yet.
Maybe not at all.
Your gaze lingers on him for one last second before drifting toward the window, where the morning light has fully settled in now, soft and golden and deceptively gentle.
I haven't been to tumblr in like a hot minute. I wanted to ask if your Finnick fic "Glimpse of Us" is finished, on hiatus or if you planned anything. I am literally in love with it and it's the first thing I checked an reread when I came back to tumblr.
YES.
it will be back. iâm actually working on my next chapter rn, i just had like the worst breakdown ever cause of college decision szn, but im back im better and im ready to get back on my good shit
ok iâm alive. like actually this time ik what im doing for college ik what im doing with writing. ive never been more locked in than now. everyone give me like TWO days and i will have a new chapter of glimpse of us out.
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