SSSNAKEPIT

IHOP parking lot: ridiculous. buffoonish. 3/10 Denny’s parking lot: has a certain dionysian flair. 6/10 Dunkin Donuts parking lot: lots of regional flavor. 7/10 The woods: nice and secluded, plenty of opportunities to use the terrain to your advantage. Just make sure to bring bug spray. 8/10 Any roof: dangerous, but points for style. 5/10 The top of any mountain: much like the woods, but with far more dramatic flair. Almost byronic. Loses points for being less practical than the other locations on this list, however. 7/10 A graveyard: disrespectful to the skeletons. 0/10 An abandoned warehouse: something of a cliche. 4/10 Any liminal space: This category includes town lines, entryways, borders, and crossroads. Is this a deeply symbolic, metaphorically charged fight? If it wasn’t before, it is now. 9/10  Wal-Mart parking lot: Quick question, are you shitting me right now? This is the absolute worst fight location. If you have any respect at all for the noble art of throwing the fuck down, don’t get in a fight in a wal-mart parking lot. In fact, this also applies to wal-mart checkout lines, roofs, employee break rooms, corporate headquarters, and indeed any space at all associated with the walton family or the wal-mart corporation. Fuck wal-mart.  0/10 The parking lot of an abandoned Blockbuster Video: The cracked and faded blockbuster sign is a potent memento mori, inspiring a keen awareness of entropy and a sharp sense of loss in your opponent. As blockbuster is, so shall they one day be.  Are there weedy plants growing up through cracks in the pavement? Oh man, that’s even better. The perfect fight location. 10/10