𝖡𝖠𝖭𝖣𝖠𝖦𝖤𝖲 | 𝖢𝖧𝖨𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖸𝖠 𝖲𝖧𝖴𝖭𝖳𝖠𝖱𝖮 𝖷 𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖤𝖱
authors’s note: this is the second part to the series!! here’s part one! not sure how i feel about this one but lmk what you think!! <3
warnings: lowkey slowburn bc they’re both stubborn and scared, but they’re finally getting somewhere chat
Chishiya returned thirty minutes later, not only carrying a bag of medical supplies, but food as well. Cans of vegetables and packets of crackers that had yet to go bad in this place. You visibly lit up the moment you saw the food. “Where did you find that?” You question, unable to prevent the smile from making its way onto your lips. His eyes flicker down to them for a moment, before meeting your eyes.
“The hospital cafeteria.” He says, and hands you a can of corn that had already been opened. You take the fork he outstretches towards you, and you quickly dig in. He stares at you with an amused expression on his face, before breaking into a pack of crackers.
You quickly found out the crackers were slightly stale, and the vegetables were cold and not the most enjoyable, and yet it was still the best food you’d had in days. Ever since the two of you had left the beach, food was harder to come by. It wasn’t like the beach offered the most appetizing meals, but at least you knew when you’d eat. Now? You were lucky if you found something that wasn’t molding yet, which wasn’t the best situation to be in when facing games designed to kill you.
You and Chishiya make quiet conversation, ranging anywhere from plans, to things that you just simply missed in the real world. Well, you talked about the things you missed. Chishiya only listened and gave the occasional hum or nod to show he was paying attention.
“When we get out of here, will we still see each other?” You question him, setting your can down. He’s quiet for a moment, not wanting to respond just yet. “Would you like to?” He finally asks, raising an eyebrow for a moment. Of course he would flip it around on you. Two could play at that though.
“Well, we’re friends aren’t we?” You ask, taking a cracker. It was dry and hard to swllow, but you managed.
You and Chishiya had never put a name to whatever you had going on. Allies? Sure, but there was more to it than that. Friends? Could you really call yourselves that when you didn’t even know his given name? His career? (Although you were certain it was something to do with medicine, seeing as he had guided you through his stitches). His favorite color? You definitely felt a connection to him, despite knowing so little of him.
“Friends.” He repeats, testing the word out on his tongue. Trying to place the strange feeling inside of him at the very notion. It wasn’t warmth, but something uncomfortably familiar to it. He enjoyed your companionship, as much as he hated to admit it. And as much as he wanted to group you in with most people he met, he knew you were different.
You were nearly an intellectual equal to him, which was rare to find, although your knowledge was different to his. It definitely came in handy though, so he wasn’t complaining by any means. The one thing that he couldn’t seem to shake however, was how vastly different you two were beyond that. You’re logical, undeniably. You know how dark and hopeless the world is. And still, you take the little moments and somehow make them matter. You grieve a world that does not exist and yet, you’re still hopeful you can change it.
Was it envy he felt at this? He couldn’t tell. He definitely knew that he wanted to keep you around however, and the reasons were entirely selfish. It seems you could understand his own suffering, as you had been there yourself, but you could find light in it as well, an ability Chishiya was sure he would never possess.
“I would like to see you again, yes.” He says, after a moment of silence. “I just have to wonder why you would want to do the same. Perhaps I should consider reevaluating your neurological condition. I’m not sure you’re entirely sane anymore.” He says, and only appears to be somewhat sarcastic in his remark.
“Is it such a bad thing?” You question, rolling your eyes. “Insanity? Yes, absolutely.” He says, and you scoff. “Not what I meant, and you know it.” You murmur.
“I’m apathetic, manipulative, cold-hearted, cynical, and am entirely unsure of whether or not I even have the capacity to care for a person, including myself. Among other things. I would say my previous statement of it being a bad thing still stands.”
“Have you considered the fact that I know all of this and simply don’t care?” You question him, to which he appears to freeze. It is only a fleeting moment. If you weren’t paying attention, you would never catch it.
“You should.” He says, something inside of him breaking just the tiniest bit. It seemed his inhibitions started coming down around you. When did that start happening? Despite how small it was, it definitely made him uncomfortable, and he certainly wasn’t looking forward to unpacking that later. “You deserve someone better.”
You laugh all at once, and it perplexes him. Out of all the ways you could react, and you chose to laugh? No anger, or sadness? Not a hint of pain at the way he was basically rejecting you. It was definitely a reminder as to one of the reasons why he had been so interested in you in the first place. You didn’t react in the ways that was expected out of most people. It intrigued him.
“Sorry..” You mumble, finally managing to control your laughter. “It just seems you’ve proven yourself wrong. I don’t understand how you can claim you don’t care, and then tell me I deserve better. You wouldn’t think that way if you didn’t.”
“Perhaps it was a courtesy. A way to let you down easier.” He lies. It was a pretty convincing one too, but you had already seen through him.
“Could be, but we both know it isn’t.” You say, to which he smirks in his usual, cheshire-like way. You truly did amuse him, the way you challenged him.
“Don’t come crying to me when you’re wrong.” He mutters, throwing away both cans of vegetables, before placing his hands back into his pockets.
The Jack of Hearts was entirely too easy. The only thing you had to do was ask Chishiya what your suit was, and vice versa, as well as look out for anyone who could potentially be the Jack of Hearts. Seeing as you didn’t need to worry about being given the wrong suit, your chances of survival were ultimately one hundred percent.
After the game had cleared, and after a few quiet tears shed for Ippei, you both return to the hospital for a bit after stealing some of the snacks present at the game. Seeing as the hospital provided shelter, food, and medicine, as well as being entirely abandoned, you both gathered it was the best place to hide out while the King of Spades went on his little rampage.
Chishiya had noticed you crying earlier, but had chosen not to acknowledge it. Seeing as his ability to provide comfort was little to none, he decided his best option was to pretend as if he had never seen it. He couldn’t get the image out of his head nonetheless. He would only make you feel worse.
Of course he had noticed from the start. The way you had put on this cold exterior, similar to himself. You had pushed most people away, but there were still some you couldn’t help but to involve yourself with. Things in the borderlands became lonely quickly. After watching so many die, and the chances of ever leaving becoming entirely hopeless, you naturally gravitated towards a group, though you still pretended to be above it all.
You had met during the five of spades. Similarly to him, you went to the very end of the top floor, but on the opposite side of the building. He was looking down on all the players scurrying to find the room that would lead to them winning the game. Then he saw you, lazily leaned over the railing with a rather bored expression on your face. Observing just as he was.
“Looks like someone had the same idea as me.” He mutters to himself, smirking. As if on cue, you look up to meet his eyes. His smirk widens, and he waves over at you. You ignore him to his amusement, turning your attention back to the game.
As the time ticks down, you make your way to the fourth floor, hiding behind a wall as you scan the area for the players. A man with unkempt, dark hair, and the man you had seen at the opposite side of your floor earlier. You watched as they walked in, and for a moment there was silence. Then the sound of gunshots fell through the air.
You can’t help but jump back at the sound, and you see the man with blonde hair fly out from the room and close the door behind him, leaning against it with heavy breaths.
“Somebody get over here!” A voice shouts from nearby, presumably the same voice that belonged to the man with the untidy appearance. “The symbol’s up here! Room 406! We need two peple to do it!”
You hear another distant shout, though you can’t quite make out what it was. A few moments later, more gunshots. The blonde-haired man makes his way inside once again, and you can hear the fight continue. You weren’t close enough to make out what was going on.
“Ten seconds.” The robotic voice sounds from your phone. More gunshots, and a strange noise you couldn’t make out. Just before the timer ends, the game clears at the very last second. The same man who had shouted earlier came out with the girl you recognized to be the one who was able to climb between floors. You remained hidden, and once it was clear, made your way over to the room.
Inside, you see familiar blonde locks, leaning over the now deceased tagger. You avoided looking at their body and the blood strewn around the floor and walls for very long, and instead your eyes found their way over to the piece of paper he held in his hands.
“Find something interesting?” You question, and his reaction, or rather lack of, had surprised you. You entered rooms with quiet precision, so most people typically jumped at the sound of your voice.
“And why should I tell you?” He asks, his body still turned away from you. He folds the paper neatly and places it into his pocket, before standing up and facing you. Your eyes widen ever so slightly.
This was the first time you had a clear look at his features, and to say they did not disappoint would be undermining it. Despite the cold look in his eyes, there was something captivating about them. It felt like you could lose yourself in all the secrets they held. His blonde locks framed his face just right, and his skin was nothing less than perfect.
“Maybe I can help you. I’d make a wonderful ally.” You say, though you had no real interest. You were simply curious as to what he had.
He lets out a scoff, though it sounded amused more than anything. “And I’m supposed to believe that? You hid away and watched us clear the game. Don’t think I didn’t notice.” You smile at that.
“I have no interest in doing more than what is necessary. It was obvious to me that someone would have figured it out. I’m only doing what’s best for my own survival.”
He’s quiet for a moment, before responding. “And if you’d been wrong?”
“Then it would have been necessary for me to take on the tagger myself. In those circumstances, I would do just that if it meant bettering my odds of survival.” He lets out a small hum at this, before smirking.
“Are you aware of a place called the Beach?”
Immediately, you took Hatters’ interest. For one, Chishiya had brought you there himself, which had been a great surprise to him. Secondly, because your intellectual ability seemed to align with Chishiya’s, which had been tested during a diamonds game a few days after you had arrived. And the last reason? Well, it was because Hatter seemed to like the idea of playing matchmaker.
You two were paired up in every game, which you didn’t seem to mind, as Chishiya didn’t really care for conversation until absolutely necessary. He mostly let you do your own thing, but always kept an eye on you.
You had been offered a role as an executive early on, and as you were about to decline, your eyes caught his. He gave a slight shake of the head, as if already knowing what your answer would be. Early on in your arrival, you had been wary of this place, and especially Hatter. The last thing you wanted to do was involve yourself in anything important. Why couldn’t you just remain in the background?
Still, there was something about the look he gave you that seemed to make you reconsider. Was he aware of something you weren’t? You let out a small sigh. “Alright.” You say, finally conceding. “Under one condition.” You say, looking back up at Hatter.
He laughs at this, seemingly amused by your comment. You ignore how unnecessarily loud he is as he gets closer to you. “I should have known.” He says, smirking down at you. “As long as it’s reasonable. What did you have in mind?” He continues.
“The room I’m currently in is dirty, and whoever is in the room next to mine is rather… noisy. So I’m requesting a new room in exchange for accepting the role as an executive.” You inform him, and it takes no time at all for him to agree.
“I believe that can be arranged.” He says, before dramatically turning over to a certain blonde. “Chishiya, is the room next to yours still open?” Hatter questions, his grin widening in mischief. Always up to something.
It was only a few moments later that Chishiya was leading you to your new room, which happened to be right of his. You can’t help but grin. “I think after this, you’ll be sick of seeing me.” You say, somewhat amused. He peers towards you, before turning his attention back towards the hall.
“Hatter is doing it on purpose.” He says, seemingly indifferent to it. You look over at him, just as he’s about to head inside of his own space. “Why did you you want me to accept Hatters’ offer?” You question him, narrowing your eyes slightly.
He pauses in his footsteps for a moment, before staring directly at you. “I would have assumed you would have already gathered the reason yourself.” He answers, sounding bored. You’re quiet for a moment, trying to decipher what reason being an executive could possibly benefit you. Or rather, how it benefitted Chishiya, seeing as he was the one who had quietly pushed you.
“Intel.” You say, after a few seconds. “But even then, compromising my safety just to gather new information… Why can’t I just come to you for that, seeing as you’re much higher in the ranks than I am.”
“You assume I would tell you anything.” You smile. “You would.” You respond, slightly playfully.
It wasn’t until Kuina started dragging both of you out that Chishiya truly got to know you. Sure, he was aware of your facade. That you weren’t truly cold the way he was, but it was still incredibly interesting to see it happen in real time.
You were a few drinks in, and Kuina had managed to convince you in letting her do your nails and makeup. You had done things like that frequently enough outside of the borderlands to be comfortable with it, though you hadn’t really done it here, seeing as you were so focused on your survival.
Chishiya watched as you giggled and leaned towards Kuina, clearly someone who couldn’t handle their alcohol very well. She laughed alongside you. “Keep still, or you’ll make me mess up!” She said, grabbing onto your shoulder as she continued applying a shimmery, dark blue to your eyelids.
Normally, you wouldn’t drink. However, after last nights game, you felt the need to let go. Chishiya thought back to it rather vividly. A hearts game. For the first time, you had been directly at fault for someone else’s death, although it was necessary if you wanted to live to see another day.
He remembered the silence on the car ride back to the Beach. Silence was normal. Expected even. You two rarely spoke. This silence was different. It was tense, heavy, and it honestly unnerved Chishiya slightly how pale and shaken you seemed.
Chishiya didn’t have empathy. It certainly wasn’t that. Still, there was something about your energy that seemed to affect him in a way he couldn’t seem to place.
“Pull yourself together. We’re a few minutes away.” He mutters, and you look over at him for a moment, before looking away. Not before he could notice the glimmer of tears in your eyes. Maybe that was a mistake. He didn’t comment after that, and you managed to at least regain a bit of color and composure.
The person in front of him now was entirely different. You would never be able to guess that you were a complete mess last night.
After a couple more drinks, you were barely conscious. You were swaying and slurring words he could barely make out. And you were laughing, and he couldn’t seem to get the sound out of his head. Why?
He had to help carry you to your bed, seeing as you had almost fallen asleep sitting next to him. “She really is a lightweight.” Kuina playfully murmured, amused at the sight. Chishiya let out a small hum, untangling himself from your nearly unconscious body, and Kuina places the blanket on top of your body.
“I’ve never seen that side of them before.” She continues, seeming almost proud that she was able to unlock a part of you that the borderlands had stolen. You had deemed the more lively part of your spirit detrimental and unnecessary in this place. In order to protect yourself, you needed to be cold, but he could see the cracks peeking through little by little.
This led him back to the present, where once again he could see the vulnerability you tried so desperately to hide away. And suddenly he couldn’t stand it. Silently, he places a bag of cookies into your hands. The only thing he could think to do.
You sniffle, wiping your tears away before looking up at him. You give a small, broken smile. And then a choked up laugh. “Thank you, ‘Shiya.” You tell him, understanding the weight of the gesture.
Very hesitantly, he reaches his hand for yours. He wonders if he’ll even enjoy the feeling, or tolerate it at the very least. He’s pleasantly surprised to find that he doesn’t mind it too much. Maybe he could learn to crave it one day even.
You relax, not pushing him, or taking over in any way. If it were under any other circumstance, you might question it. Right now, you simply wanted to enjoy it, knowing it was unlikely to last long. You let out a sigh.
“I don’t know how I’ve made it this far.” You quietly say, looking down at your hands. “I know you’ve realized by now that the way I act here.. It’s not entirely me.” Chishiya studies you, his face stern, but not entirely cold like it typically was.
“That’s true.” He begins, tightening his fingers around yours slightly. A few weeks ago, he would have scoffed at the very notion. “Still, it’s not entirely a facade either. It’s just the person you are when you have to put survival first. Nobody should blame you for that.”
“I barely knew Ippei..” You lean closer to him, but keep a respectful distance away nonetheless. “I don’t know why I cried for him… I think I just.. I saw myself in him.” You swallow the lump building in your throat, embarrassed by your sudden welling of emotions.
For some reason, he suddenly felt envious. Maybe because you had empathy he didn’t. Something he had always felt was missing from him.
“I saw myself, and I wonder how it is that I remain alive despite all of this..” That was something Chishiya could answer at least.
“You survived because of your intelligence, and because you found the will to. You’re quick on your feet, and you’re able to read people, and you know who to trust. Most importantly… you’re not alone.” And he would make certain of it too. If there was one thing Chishiya knew, it was that he wanted you to make it out of this place, even at the cost of his own survival.
If he cared for you even a little bit, it was absolutely necessary. It was for this very reason alone that he seemed to care about the bullet lodged into his abdomen only a week later.
