iāve given up on love before Ā ā Ā this is my last time trying Ā / Ā Ā partyscverāĀ Ā .
she crinkles her nose, the sun beaming too brightly, boots covered in snow. truly, a winter wonderland. itās strange being back, strange being around everything she worked so hard to run away from. confrontation is a lesson still needing to be learned on her part. and with each step, her heart drops further into her stomach, thinking about the possibilities of running into him. surely, heās moved on. heās ozzy. how could he not? a boy like him was never supposed to end up with someone like her. a boy like him deserves the world, someone whoās not scared.Ā
and astaire? sheās scared. scared to love again, scared to allow herself to be loved. and so she opens her love alarm for the first time in a long time. and with that, the block appears on her screen, taunting her. she sighs, reminded of the time of their break up.Ā
all she needs to do is meet a love alarm executive. all she needs to do is get into the badge club and meet someone. meet someone whoās able to remove it. and itās so silly how her life has been ruined by this single app, but to everyone else and inevitably her ā itās become a lifeline of sorts. a definitive way of finding true love.
ring! one person within ten metres likes you.
what? she laughs, slightly amused. who could possibly like her, thereās literally no one in her vicinity. she turns to look. and once she does, an instant regret surfaces. out of all days, heās here. out of all days, so is she. she stares, not knowing what to say ā not knowing if she even has the right to say anything to him at all. i miss you āĀ she wants to say, but instead,
āŗ š¶ Ā Ā āŗĀ Ā he hears the treacherous ring and he knows heās doneĀ for.Ā Ā this was the beginning of the end.Ā after swearing he was doneĀ with herĀ --Ā the truth sells him out faster than he can prevent itĀ --Ā feeling the gentle vibration of his phone in the pocket of his jacket has a curse at the tip of his tongue as he steps into her proximity as if drawnĀ to herĀ ;Ā some magnetic force pulling him to her before he can even follow the direction of his steps.Ā Ā
it shouldnātĀ have been this wayĀ --Ā after months of regret,Ā anguish,Ā and painĀ ;Ā Ā why was he still holdingĀ on to her?Ā she was no longer a lifeline he could tether himself to.Ā no longer was she obligated to carry him out of the turbulent storm that was hisĀ calamitous life.Ā she had no reason being,Ā anymore.Ā (Ā at least thisĀ is what ozzy had told himselfĀ ;Ā time and time againĀ )
but truthfully,Ā they were all lies.Ā
if she only said the wordĀ --Ā ozzy knewĀ (Ā dreaded this truth but accepted it all the sameĀ )Ā that if given the choice,Ā if she opened her heart just onceĀ Ā ;Ā heād let her in all over again.Ā heād bear all the hurt if only he could get back the sun in his sky and the stars in his night.Ā
because she had been all that and moreĀ --Ā and yet, now ...
all that remained was a solemn greeting and her words, just now, cut like a blade straight to the heart. did all their memories render them as strangers nowĀ --Ā that a mere āĀ Ā hiĀ āĀ was all it took to weather conversation between them?Ā
so he takes itĀ ;Ā shoulders the blade and covers the wound with a smileĀ -- the crooked grin heās donned for years now,Ā one farĀ too familiar for the occassion.Ā Ā āĀ hi,Ā yourself. you back in town?Ā āĀ itās soĀ superficial that ozzy hates the words that leave his lipsĀ --Ā when all his heart wants to screamĀ are the truths his broken heart had cried in the months sheād disappeared.Ā Ā āĀ or are you going to skip again?Ā āĀ he shouldnāt have said it -- he knowsĀ --Ā but a part of him, the bitter monster that he was pulls its ugly head into gear.Ā but he laughs, masks what mockery the words could mean with amusement as he glances from her to the ground and back.Ā was it too soon to say itās nice to see you?Ā Ā (Ā how many more before he can sayĀ āĀ Ā when can i see you again?Ā āĀ )