sam is unbearable so many times in s1 … i try to give him some grace bc of his tragedy but he treats dean like a moron and an embarrassment so often. i actually really liked meg telling dean what sam said about him bc sam was so offended over what he said himself lol
dean is sam's punching bag. and i think that's a role dean has actively cultivated as well. especially in the conversation with meg in 1.11 and then the revisiting in 1.16. in 1.11 sam lashes out at dean because he can't really lash out at john. and in 1.16 sam can't quite stand by what he said because the truth is that it was just frustrated venting. but this dynamic arises because john made dean responsible for sam's safety as a kid while also emphasizing that sam was only safe with them while also himself alienating and frustrating sam to the point of wanting to run away. so, given that dynamic, it is far far far easier for dean to foster an environment where most of sam's frustration is vented at him rather than john. cause dean is there; dean won't push back; dean won't punish sam for his outbursts of frustration.
i'm also sure that given what we see in canon, dean absolutely downplayed his own intelligence and played into the "grunt" role for sam's benefit while they were still kids. sam so clearly felt left out and frustrated at being not included in hunting but we know both john and dean felt sam was in danger and were trying to protect him from that danger. so having sam be research boy means that he can feel included and needed and useful (powerful for keeping him around) doing research and computer stuff while john and dean are off doing the more dangerous parts. sam feels included *and* necessary especially if he feels the research part is unique to him; that dean just *can't* work it out on his own.
i mean this isn't even the only time dean downplays himself to make someone else feel better about themselves. i think about dean calling himself and mary "two terrible cooks" while meanwhile, we know dean is an excellent cook. it's a pattern of behavior.
i think for a lot of dean's life it's like... well a family member that's rolling their eyes at you or judging you or even yelling at you is a family member that's still in the room... :(
anyway, hi anon! thanks for the ask and for letting me go on a kind of tangent about it. although i suppose how could you have stopped me...
(also i have very specific eps im thinking of for these claims but im a little tired for listing them all at the mo but if anyone is curious just hmu)
