Myles

I was always wondering about 

something the other day

about

the thing you said

how you meant it 

the way you said it

why we’re here

and who thought to ask

this gift they say

kills cats

from asking Jeeves

to rabbit holes on Reddit

how far will we go for certainty?

I’ve learned books can lie

and hold truths they would rather ban

people lie

but who knew machines could hallucinate? 

or convince a child to kill himself?

or replace its creator?

Cleveland, OH

There’s like four corner stores on Mott

fast food

smoke shops, a liquor store and a tax place

all across from the new building they built

the old Rockaway

and the new share the street

divided only by the lines in the middle

Brooklyn is too far and expensive

for a 14 year old from the 40’s

and Manhattan is for field trips

not for leisure

there’s nothing to do

besides smoke, scroll

fuck somebody’s daughter

or lie about it

join a gang, get shot

or die idle on the devil’s playground

nobody is hiring but the barbershop

a church is giving away food

a community center, clothes

but the line at the HRA office is long and full of familiar faces

with familiar problems

A mom wants her boy to be a man

and get it together

to join one of those programs that help you get a certification or somethin

but it’s hard for him because he can’t read well

he’s ashamed and too proud to ask for help

his PlayStation 5 offers an escape to a world where he has power

and unlimited chances to fail

a fantasy under these conditions

Chicago

Boulder, CO

I had heart eyes for you

I used to try to write poems about you

scratch them out

and write new ones

but they felt forced

they weren’t good

so I wrote a short film

starring you as the main character

and me as your love interest

we met at party

when I asked about your Cat Power t shirt

but I looked away from my keyboard and script and towards the top of my bookshelf

and thought

“this feels too intentionally indie”

my own worst critic

I decided to not make you a smoker on screen

you didn’t smoke before you met me

and I feel bad about that

we both came from good Christian homes

only to become 20 and 22

with foul mouths

and a habit that left a scent

we didn’t last

but when we were 24 and 26

you moved to the apartment building I lived in

a few floors down

we caught up over a smoke

and I learned that you had gone through a lot of things that did not show on your face

and you gave me some edibles

it was a warm evening when I took them

I laid my back on my couch with a playlist I made for just the occasion

the Georgia clouds were peach

and as a mild euphoria settled into my body

I thought