GODLY / YOU .

as of late , this blog has become exceedingly hard to organize and a lil stressful so i’ve decided to archive this blog and move to another , squeaky clean blog ! any plotted threads will continue on that blog , any other threads will be dropped ! if you wanna continue a certain thread that we have that wasn’t plotted out just hit me up and i will happily continue it,

*     IT’S HARDLY EASY     to     hide     the     way     he     felt     when     he     was     with     lorraine      .         or     so      he     thought   .         he’s     known     her     over     eight     months     now      ,       finding     the     ache     more      &      more     easily     distinguished      .         but     the     flame     never     died      .         he’s     convinced     it     CANNOT DIE.

        ❛     the     dance     ?     ❜         he’ll     speak     the     echo     of     her     words      ,         the     breeze     carrying     scents     of     fresh     grass     into     the     stadiums     where     they     sat     before     the     football     team       .         a     tradition     he      INSISTS UPON,         to     which     she     regretfully     succumbs       .         the     two     enclosed     in     a     blanket      ,         yards     from     anyone     but     themselves      ,         PERFECT IMAGERY OF TORTURED DECORUM.         ❛     what     about     it     ?     ❜

      TIME WILL BE FROZEN     for    them    ,    she’s    sure    of    it    .              she     feels    it    within    she    quick    glances    ,    slow     tongues    .             does    he     feel    the    same    ?             does    he    think    i’m    beautiful    ?                through    the    months    ,    closeness    has    become    their    mother    -    tongue    .                 yearning    heart        BECKONS         at    him    . 

                     HAVE YOU SEEN ME ? 

vivian audrey broughton --- height : 4′9 , age : 12 , weight : 95 lbs , eye color : blue , curly blonde hair with small build . vivian was last seen wearing a blue and white horizontal striped sweater with dark blue jeans, and brown leather boots possibly paired with a brown leather backpack . last seen being dropped off at Sandburg middle school , alexandria , virginia . 

lorraine remembers what the last thing she said to her sister was , “ don’t forget your homework ! “ . before her sister was whisked off to school within her rowdy school bus filled with other obvious and naive seventh graders . lorraine was having an average day at her high school , not thinking much of the day . throughout her walk back home , ( it was only about half a mile from her school . ) she could see flashing lights , her house silhouetted behind the red . once she reached her front door , she was greeted with a crying mother and an obviously stressed father . she made mental note of the vein popping from his forehead , along with the rivers of tears falling from her mothers eyes . policemen scattered around their house , their heavy boots and rattling utility belts made their existence undeniably distinguished . they told her what had happened , vivian was never even accounted for during the beginning of the day . “ your sister is missing . “ 

MISSING ! it spun around her head for days , through still setting a plate at the table for her . through looking at her homework left on the coffee table , she had forgotten it . lorraine hadn’t seen her mother much since vivian’s disappearance , she stays most of her hours in her room . some nights she can hear he rmother sobbing through the walls , and her father stumbling drunkenly to bed . jack daniels nights rest weary on a broken home , she figures . school was buzzing with the news , walking past a picture of vivian every day on the bulletin board with big bold letters ‘ HAVE YOU SEEN ME ? ‘. along with whispers from other class mates about her sister . is she dead ? yeah , that’s her sister . i feel so bad for her . she’s heard it all , and she she’s tired . she’s so tired .

it was eight months before they found vivian , all she could remember vividly was the wailing . lorraine wondered how a grown woman could make such a sound . it was the sound her mother made when the police came to her door with the news that vivian was found dead . her body was found within a drying creek on the outskirts of town . cause of death was blunt force trauma to the skull , later evidence would conclude that sexual assault was also a factor in the investigation and more than likely the motive of the abduction . 

vivian audrey broughton was laid to rest on july, 22nd, 1965. congregating around the small casket  donned in black, roses cover the polished wood , the faint sounds of sniffling and whispers of encouragement from her father to her mother . “ it’s okay , i love you . “ there was a sense of finalization among her family , no ore waiting , no more hoping . no more wondering if a bright eyed vivian was going to walk through the doors , ready for dinner . she was gone , and every part of lorraine went with her .

                                   EMOTIONAL     /       MENTAL    

lorraine never truly was the same after her sisters disappearance , she never felt complete afterward . there was a strong yearn within her , even years after , she couldn’t place her finger on what it was that she needed in her life . no woman , man , drug , or glass of whiskey would fill the void . quickly after the news was given to her , she began to spiral downward . she often contemplated whether it should have been her instead of vivian . SHE WAS ONLY TWELVE ! there were a lot of longer lasting effects on lorraine that just the grieving . the loss of her sister damaged her intimacy with anyone , cutting them off whenever she saw herself having feelings for them . she would leave them before they could leave her , therefore hurting her . 

it was when she was nineteen when the drinking and drugs got excessive , every night she was throwing shots back . anything to numb the void her sister left , having such a tight knit relationship as lorraine and vivian did , she found herself unraveling without her . her mental state went to shit . paranoia and anger were worsening everyday , she would start to have sleep paralysis along with incredibly vivid nightmares of her sisters death . she started to neglect her college studies , rebelling against her parents wishes . lorraine was casted - out from all of her friend groups , for good reason . falling into fits of anger at her friends regularly , along with her unreliability , she was distanced by everyone she knew . alone , and still grieving . she threw herself into finding her sister justice , dropping her degree in music to start one in criminal justice .