SpyroForLife

They make it to Lust only to barely get around to walking around before some cheeky succubus blows a cloud of sex pollen right into their faces for the lulz

Lucifer is fine but Alastor, who has zero immunity to succubi, has his shit absolutely ROCKED

smash cut to Lucifer now bridal carrying an unfathomably horny Alastor back into Asmodeus’s place and asking for privacy for the next hmm several hours and also can Asmodeus leave a crate of Gatorade outside their suite because they’re gonna need it thanks man

Mark my words.

The season 3 trailer for Hazbin Hotel, when we eventually get it, is going to contain like. One (1) second of Alastor and Lucifer dancing, highly likely that Alastor is going to look confident and in charge and like he's planning something while Lucifer is annoyed/unsure but interested and going with it, something along those lines, the kinda scene that goes by SO fast but contains so much tension and intrigue

and the Radioapple fandom is gonna lose our collective shit

mark my fucking words

I’m talkin $53 for a petite filet mignon that was only 6 oz. Now don’t get me wrong. That was some damn good steak. But FIFTY THREE SMACKAROOS for what was basically a morsel of a steak?? I knew what I was getting into when I picked up the menu but broo

And it didn’t even come with a side. The sides were separate. I paid like $16 to get a side of garlic mashed potatoes and THAT dish was way bigger than the steak itself was lmao

(also very good potatoes gotta say but WHAT ARE THESE PRICES)

Anyway. I was looking at the drink menu and I decided to order a glass of Sazerac. Entirely because that’s Alastor Hazbin Hotel’s favorite drink and I thought it’d be interesting

…it sucked 💜 But I kinda expected that, it’s literally just rye whiskey, absinthe, and simple syrup. And they put a lil lemon peel in there, idk if that’s a normal part of it or if they just did that for aesthetics, but. Yeah. It was very bitter, a lil sour. Not good. But cultured..

I feel like I understand Alastor a bit better now. He has terrible taste :)

(faint sound of Alastor calling me an uncultured swine in the distance)