s o m e t h i n g

I started writing our things in a notebook. I don't want to call it s diary... May have a personal agenda against the word.. it's been a long day and sleep doesn't seem to want to accompany me on this fine night... And that'd be completely fine but I have exams. The more I think about the the more this crippling fear holds me into place and reminds me of the iminant failure to come. It's been an okay day though. I've been able to bring hope and a partner to my friend and listen to another's woes. Yet I don't feel accomplished. My passions have disappeared and all that's left is fear. Cool.

It's hard to be thankful for the life you have when everyone else's seems so much easier, idealistic. Maybe that's because we all hide our flaws. I have an amazing group of people surrounding me. They may not always be there but we all have our flaws. I'm sure they hate a lot of things about me and there is many ways that I could improve. So I'll try. In every way I can. In the meantime I'm going to try and do better, understand and recognise what I do have and how that is beautiful.

I hate who I've become.

Recently been reading a lot more books, and there is one book that's been in my 'to read' pile for quite a while... It really made me happy to read it and I was so engulfed in it that I finished it in a day. Idk its childish but really heart warming in a way. Anyway I doubt anyone would want to read it but it's called journey to the river sea.