i n s a t i a b l e

       how does he even begin? how does he start to tell her that this is how we are? because that leads into another topic --- what are we? they’re not normal, and they never will be. it’s more than just ‘we are godfreys.’ once upon a time that was a suitable answer, perhaps for roman’s father and his father before that. we are godfreys; we are exceptional. but olivia tainted the blood, and the godfreys were no longer simply exceptional --- they became something else.        it’s not even the transformation that does these things to the emotions, that toys with their natural human tendencies. it’s something deeper, something in the blood that has broken down on a genetic level. pryce could explain it better than roman, that their dna has characteristics not seen in anyone else. even shelley possesses it, though not in the same way. even if she were to remain more or less human for the rest of her life, nadia would still exhibit some signs of the upir in the same way that roman did long before he  took his own life and allowed the blood to make its final transformation within him.        all he can do is nod, solemn and sympathetic as he stares at her. he knows she desires it so badly, but she doesn’t know what it is she’s asking for. she doesn’t understand what it’s like --- it’s not some hollywood movie and fascinating blood lust. it’s a hunger that doesn’t go away, so chronic that it aches constantly. it’s never satiated, never appeased; how does he tell her that he simply lives with a hunger so deep it causes pain?        “ i know, ” he responds finally, voice a low whisper. he can’t read whether or not she may even be glad about this revelation. roman exhales, pressing knuckles to his lips while he frowns across at her. whatever he says, she’ll reject. “ if you don’t want to go absolutely insane, nadia, you’ll retain as much of your humanity as possible. otherwise you become nothing more than a monster. ” he swallows, a silent prayer that she accepts some of what he says. “ limit the amount of damage you do. savor it, if you will. otherwise someone else will put an end to you. ”        she hadn’t been asking for a pep talk, more than likely, but he can’t help it. now that this has finally happened, the inevitable, he’s simply trying to accept it; and help her as much as possible. it’s not disappointment in the slightest, only concern. but he smiles to try and remind her of that. “ you might hear that emotions make you weak. they don’t. they make you ...you. ”