my secret is that I hate when people treat Pyro like a child. That is. They are grown?? Why are you getting mad that people are shipping them. They are a grown ass nonbinary
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A standard porno with the bad acting and music and whatnot but partway through the action the camera pans to a millipede and hunting spider locked in a duel for survival, the sounds of sex fade out and the scene in the background blurs, epic battle music starts to play
When I was a kid, our family had an old Wii that we would play games on together. I remember at one point my mother brought home a random video game from the local thrift store, figuring we would have fun playing it (also cause it was like, 3 dollars). The game was titled “deadly creatures” and the premise was you played either as a tarantula or a scorpion, traversing the desert and trying to hunt each other down and kill each other. However, the final boss was just some guy who worked at a gas station and decided to keep the tarantula as a pet after finding it under a log after murdering some guy out in the desert, and the scorpion infiltrates the guys room to try and find the tarantula. The way you are supposed to defeat the gas station worker is trying to crawl up his leg while avoiding being shot with a shotgun, crawling under his belt buckle, and stinging him in the balls 3 times until he, in a pained, panicked rage, accidentally shoots a gas tank and blows up the entire gas station.
That’s just what this post reminded me of. No other reason for me sharing this
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It’s extremely fucked up that some ppl try to make you feel stupid and immature for hoping for a better world. You say you want world peace and mfs think you need a pacifier; dawg, I just don’t want ppl dying from violence. This idea that ppl simply must die as casualties of war is misanthropic to say the least.
God I wanna fluster Pyro. I wanna treat Pyro like a lady. I wanna treat Pyro like a gentleman. I wanna spoil them with treat and presents. I wanna kiss all over their gas mask, and they go into battle with lipstick marks all over their mask. I wanna whisper something filthy to them while doing mundane chores and see the blush shine through the mask. I wanna run my hands over that ample ass of theirs. I wanna edge them until they beg for mercy, and then overstimulate them until they pass out, and then gently bathe them and wash off the bodily fluids, and then watch anime with them while eating sweets.
Holy shit this was longer than intended
Nah nah nah don’t apologize. This is such a real thought and tbh I see the vision
God imagine Pyro doing a flustered muffle giggle under the mask every time you rub your hands up their sides. God I love them
All 9 mercs x FEM! Reader | NSFW 🔞 | minors go do your homework
🔥🦄Pyro: pyro has 2 preferences, depending on their mood. One of them is cutesy, sexy loungewear. Like a crop top hoodie with cat ears, thigh high stockings with bows, and a thong. Likes the combination of sexy and cozy, like after their done railing you to oblivion, you two could just laze on the couch and watch a cartoon.
The second preference is leather.
⚾️👟Scout: scout is a little perv, so he likes anything that will let him see as much as you as possible. Thongs, g-strings, brassieres. Probably a bunny suit. Probably also has a thing for stripper heels. Favorite colors are red and black- anything seductive and teasing.
🐻📖Heavy: pretends like he doesn’t have a preference for lingerie, but caught a glimpse of a cute babydoll on a mannequin in a store window, and whenever he takes some “alone” time he strokes himself to the thought of you wearing it. The delicate fabric shifting whenever you move, the way it cups your breasts, the way it barely covers your ass…
I imagine he would like soft, neutral tones like white, cream, and black.
💉🕊️Medic: I think medic is lowkey into BDSM, so something tight and made of leather. I also think he would like bodysuits. I also think he would like roleplaying, so unironically would probably buy you a sexy nurse or maid outfit.
💣⚔️Demo: like pyro, demo has two preferences. On one hand, Demo is a goofball, and likes showing you pictures of ridiculous and silly lingerie sets to make you laugh, and teases you by saying he’s gonna buy them for you. On the other hand, when Demo is serious and wants to have a genuine, romantic night with you, he likes a nice teddy or a corset. Something soft and feminine. Likes either pastel pink or red. Also enjoys floral prints.
🇺🇸🪖Soldier: to be honest, I don’t think soldier would really see the point of lingerie. It gets in the way of sex, and it takes more time getting it off. I think Soldier would actually get off to you decked out in army general uniform, with medals and a crisp suit. If you were going to wear a more traditional lingerie outfit, his favorite colors would be red, white, and blue.
🗡️🚬Spy: likes deep, rich tones, like dark purples, blues, and blacks. I imagine spy is a tit man, so he likes anything that accentuates your breasts. Corsets, bustiers, a nice brassiere. One little thing that turns him on is robes. He loves seeing you step out of the bathroom after a shower wearing nothing but a silk bathrobe, or lounging on the bed in that silk bathrobe, the neckline slightly undone as to give him a glimpse of your cleavage.
🛠️🌵Engineer: likes a matching silk pajama set, with little shorts and a button up top. Will probably buy one for you. Something about it is so sexy, yet domestic and cozy. Also likes a nice camisole. Doesn’t really have a color preference.
Cow lingerie set…
🦘🫙Sniper: likes soft, pastel colors. Pink and white are his favorite. Likes a matching bra and panty set, and a pair of thigh high stockings will get him harder than metal. Loves lace and little bows. Would probably also get off to you stealing his boxers briefs and wearing them.
Wrote this all at 2:00 am on a school night. And no, Pyros part is not unfinished, I just thought it would be funnier if I wrote the last part and did not elaborate
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Pyro is a grown adult. who cannonly ran his own business, who suffers from a mental illnesses, and shouldn't be infantlised just because Pyro acts silly.
Pyro can be in a romantic relationship if you want them to be
Pyro can be aroace and not interested in romance and gender if you want them to be
Pyro can be a elderish Abomination if you want it to be
Pyro can be a cis man if you want him to be
Pyro can be a butch lesbian it you want her to be
Pyro can be in a father child relationship with engineer if you want
Just DONT push your ideologies onto others
I've seen so many posts about peaple getting mad at Texas Toast shippers for 'proshipping'
Pyro and Engineer are not cannonly in a father son relationship. Those two are grown consenting non-related adults!
So if you see Pyro and Engineer as family, that's fine just don't go into every goddam Texas Toast comment section and go "Erm actually they are father n son" because no one like you if you do that. That is why you don't get invited to partys Steve! Because you are the fun cops!
Seriously: Just don't do that bullcrap you weirdos. Not everyone thinks like you so just respect their opinion(unless its proshipping. Then don't respect the proshippers)
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