火影忍者 Naruto

He started yelling in the middle of it as he clapped his hands down over his ears and closed his eyes, “No no no! Stop Karin!! I donna wanna learn stuff like this from you!!” his face was beet red as he tried not to focus on his cousin giving him sex lessons. How did she even know what a penis looked like!?!

She saw that he wasn’t paying any attention to her, which just honestly irrated her more. So she went over to him, and slapped his head again. “Listen you brat, I’m doing you a favor. I’m explaining things to you that you need to know for future reference.” She studied him and then smirked, “Sides, I learned about penises from Sasuke.” Not that you know, he showed it to her, but she’s done enough peeping on him in her lifetime to know everything. “And I worked at a prision. Junk flew wild all the time.” She explained going back to the whiteboard. “Now women have vagina’s. They kinda look like this.” She drew another crappy drawing. “You don’t want to touch those. Or any penises.” 

Whinning, "I donna wanna listen to- WHAT SASUKE?!" Screaming he jumped up, "That blasted teme how dare he do this! He has gone to far!" He yelled ignoring the latter half only to glance over and practically squeal out of his skin and knocking over the picture, "STOP THAT KARIN! I donna wanna know!!!" His face extremely red and he could barely make out her last words as his blood was pounding so hard by his ears, he turned quickly stomping away, "Nope. Nope. Nope! Not listening!"

“Ow OW ow!!” He rubbed his ear as he leaned back against the couch. He perked up, “I know what birds and bees were,” He suddenly flushed hard and waved his arms about, “W..WWHAT! I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THIS!!!”

Karin looked at him raising a red brow. “You sit down and shut up. You will listen to me. Besides, I know more about it then you obviously do.” She stated airily as she began to draw a badly drawn penis on the whiteboard. “You have this. It’s called a penis. You piss out of it. That’s all you need to be doing out of it.” She warned him, with a smile that promised death on her face. “These are testes,” she stated pointing below them, “also known as balls. You also have them. They go together, understand so far?” 

He started yelling in the middle of it as he clapped his hands down over his ears and closed his eyes, "No no no! Stop Karin!! I donna wanna learn stuff like this from you!!" his face was beet red as he tried not to focus on his cousin giving him sex lessons. How did she even know what a penis looked like!?!

He yelped and grabbed his head, pouting up at her and then turning around and making yappy noise and moving his hand, speaking in a high voice, “Candy is bad. Ramen is bad!” He snorted and crossed his arms, then raised a brow at her, “The talk? Well I have lots of ‘talks’ like right now I am talking!”

She grabbed his ear and dragged him over to the couch and threw him down. “I’m not talking about that kind of talk. I’m talking about the birds and the bees. Otherwise, commonly known as Sex.” She pulled out a white board and sat it up in front of him. “Pay attention.”

"Ow OW ow!!" He rubbed his ear as he leaned back against the couch. He perked up, "I know what birds and bees were," He suddenly flushed hard and waved his arms about, "W..WWHAT! I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THIS!!!"

“Sasuke is not a good person… But let’s no talk about him. We’re here so we can get close and maybe friends.” God, the kid was slow. How many time would he talk like that? He continued with a small smile on his face, only noddign while the boy was talking. It was starting to give him a headache… “Look… aren’t you… sleepy?”

He snorted, "Let's not! I could go on for /hours/ about how big of a teme he is!!" He huffed then looked up at him and blinked tilting his head to the side, "Not really! Oh did you wanna talk about the things you like!" He turned to face him some on the bed as he slurped down a bit of ramen and motioned  "Go on!" As he kept eating, though his eye lids were getting a bit heavy he tried very hard to pay attention. 

Nodding thoughtfully, “…So…. if they are closer to my age then can I get the candy?” He asked eagerly who the hell didn’t want candy?! As long as they weren’t too old giving it to him he could take it. He nodded with that thought in mind he needed to go find a van next, didn’t know why she brought up a van but hey free candy.

“…….” Shaking her head, she brought her hand up and hit him upside the head, hard. “No. Never accept candy. Candy is bad for you, and so is ramen.” She breathed out, “Naruto, have you ever had “the talk?” 

He yelped and grabbed his head, pouting up at her and then turning around and making yappy noise and moving his hand, speaking in a high voice, "Candy is bad. Ramen is bad!" He snorted and crossed his arms, then raised a brow at her, "The talk? Well I have lots of 'talks' like right now I am talking!"

Looking skeptic at him for a moment, doing a once over and was about to deter from the place but ramen was a sure go for Naruto. He had it mapped out in his head, grab the ramen and go. He drooled and stumbled happily to the way he had pointed earlier thinking about the yummy noodles, “Rammenn~” He grinned over his shoulder, “You aren’t half as bad as Sasuke says ya are!”

“Sure I’m not. I don’t know what happened to Sasuke, but it’s not my fault he doesn’t know how to treat his teammates… Don’t worry, Uzumaki, we’re going to be beeest friends~” And he left the room to go to the kitchen prepare some ramen. He was lucky to have some instant ramen and the drugs Mikoto used on him. Oh, sweet sweet revenge. He walked back to the room with ramen in his hand, the drug already mixed with the food. “So, Naruto, let’s talk about the things that you like?”

Nodding seriously but said with a whine, "I agree Sasuke is so mean to me and doesn't even notice that Sakura-chan likes him." he crossed his arms with a pout and kicked at the ground in thought and grabbed the ramen and was about to eat some when his eyes sparkled. "Oh me?! Okay well I like ramen and I looove frogs! Even before I knew Ero-sensei. I love to train and I liked when I was younger when we would race and get to see who got the candy. I also like Sakura chan! She is so pretty! Especially her hair and her eyes I just wished she'd look at me and not that god damn teme! No offense your son is just such a fuckin' ass like honestly I'm wondering if you are kin to him because you are rather nice from what I've seen so far and Sasuke is just the complete opposite. And I've talked with Itachi some and he seems polite enough. Anyways I also like her legs though she's kind of flat chest I still like her. Oh! Speaking of flat! I love the flat bread sandwichs you can get from the Way to Sub! Those are really good have you ever had one!? If not I highly recommend them they are on the side street of Faith lane. Super good and cheap, Oh that's another thing! I love cheap food especially cheap ramen and even better if it is free!" Glancing down quickly, "OH! I also like orange and that's because-" He rattler on about the things he liked for a while longer.

Tilting his head, “Anoo… Why would I kick him though!” Drooling, “He promised ramen can’t be all that bad maybe he just has his own secret stash like I do!”

Air flew out of her mouth. “Just because a stranger in a van offers you candy, does not mean you take the candy you dimwit! Pedo’s do this kind of stuff all the time, I mean look at Sasuke. He left to go with a creepy ass snake man for power. Things happened in Otokagure, Naruto. THING’S HAPPENED TO EVERYONE THAT WENT TO OTOKAGURE. Lesson, do not trust men offering you something, especially not older men.” 

Nodding thoughtfully, "...So.... if they are closer to my age then can I get the candy?" He asked eagerly who the hell didn't want candy?! As long as they weren't too old giving it to him he could take it. He nodded with that thought in mind he needed to go find a van next, didn't know why she brought up a van but hey free candy.

it’s normal when your best friend’s dad invites you to their room right?

“Uh. No Naruto. No it isn’t. You tell that perv to leave you the hell alone after kicking him where the good sun don’t shine.” 

Tilting his head, "Anoo... Why would I kick him though!" Drooling, "He promised ramen can't be all that bad maybe he just has his own secret stash like I do!"

Looking skeptic at him for a moment, doing a once over and was about to deter from the place but ramen was a sure go for Naruto. He had it mapped out in his head, grab the ramen and go. He drooled and stumbled happily to the way he had pointed earlier thinking about the yummy noodles, "Rammenn~" He grinned over his shoulder, "You aren't half as bad as Sasuke says ya are!"