Assbutts Anonymous

It’s always been annoying to me whenever people ask me who my dad is, because – well how the hell should I know? I’ve never been told a blessed thing about him, and I’ve learned from a young age not to ask. All I know is that him and my mum met at school, he was a year older than her, and that’s pretty much it.

“Are you all packed, Zalika?” Mum asked. I rolled my eyes.

“I didn’t even do anything wrong.” I said. She looked at me quizzically.

“Yeah, I know.” She said. Now it was my turn to be confused.

“Then why didn’t you call me Ali?” I asked. She only ever calls me by my full first name when I’m in trouble. She smiled slightly.

“I just worry about you sometimes. I mean, we’re moving to a whole other continent. You didn’t even seem to bat an eyelid when I shared the news.” She said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Mum, we’ve been over this. There’s nothing left for me here. Not since-“ I began, but I couldn’t finish my sentence. The memory was just too fresh. “Besides, I’ve always wanted to visit America, and now we’re going to live in LA. I can’t wait.” I finished.

“Okay sweetie. So, have you?” She asked. I looked up at her in confusion. She scoffed in humour. “Have you finished packing?”

“Oh. Yeah. Just one thing.” I said.

“Okay princess. We’ll wait in the car.” She said referring to my step-dad, Keith. I can’t stand Keith. But, it’s best for me not to even think or acknowledge him. Instead, I went to my secret space, and pulled out the photograph I’ve had with me my whole life. A secret photograph my mum had no clue even existed.

“Granny, who’s my daddy?” I asked.

“You know we can’t talk about that.” She said. I ignored what she said and sat down on the counter.

“What does he look like?” I asked. She sighed and handed me a photo from the top of her cupboard.

“If your mother ever finds it, just say you found it exploring in my attic.” She said.

I smiled slightly at the memory. Gran was always so nice to me. She had me wrapped around her finger. I can’t believe I was so young and managed to keep that secret to this day. And, in her memory, I would never reveal what my grandmother gave me.

I put the picture carefully in my purse, which I then put in my handbag. I then walked out the house. The only house that could withstand me for 16 years. It was bittersweet. This is something I’ve always wanted, but at the same time, it would be hard to see that part of my life go.

Soon enough, we were on the plane on our way to LA. Keith and my mum were luckily sat somewhere away from me. Mum said she’d find me when we landed. So it was pretty much just me and my music for 11 hours. Not that I was complaining. To me, I don’t listen to enough music – and I listen to it all the time.

True to her word, once we landed, mum found me. We got off the plane and made our way to baggage claim. Once we got everything – which were just suitcases full of the bare essentials at the moment – we went to get the car.

“Okay, off we go.” Keith said. I rolled my eyes at his optimism. He was always so nice. But he got on my nerves so much I could hardly stand it.

“Okay, Ali. When we get there, you get to pick your room. You can have whatever one you want apart from the master on the top floor.” Mum said. Damn. How many floors are there?

“You’re gonna love Encino, Ali. It’s a lovely neighbourhood. You’re gonna go to one of the top schools-“ Keith droned on.

“Okay.” I said, interrupting him so he didn’t have to talk more.

“Ali!” Mum warned. I put my headphones in, even though my battery had died. I just wanted them to think I was listening to music so I didn’t have to talk to them.

Once we got to the house my mouth went slightly agape. It was friggin’ huge! How the hell were they able to afford this place? Even on Keith’s salary it still seemed steep.

I got out of the car as soon as we parked to find which room I should have. It was like this huge maze I had to zig zag through, but eventually I found the perfect room.

“Oh hell yes!” I confidently claimed. It was a huge room that even had sofas in it. It had dark wooden flooring, light cream walls, and different shades of blue on all the furnishings. It was gorgeous.

“Have you seen your bathroom yet?” She asked.

“I have my own bathroom?” I asked excitedly. She pointed towards a door that I thought was just a wardrobe, but when I walked in I was so deliriously happy. It had a bathtub with jets as well as a completely separate shower. Everything was amazing.

“Okay. Get an early night. I can’t believe you want to start school so soon after moving.” She said, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Best to start sooner rather than later.” I said. She kissed me on the forehead than left my room. I can’t believe how amazing this is. I had a door that lead right to the patio, and the pool was literally 2 seconds away from me. I’m more than excited to start my new life here.

My alarm clock jolted me out of a dreamless sleep. The sun beamed in through the glass door, and it was then I remembered where I was. I got up, showered in my incredible shower, dried my hair, did some light makeup, then got dressed. I didn’t want to make too much of a statement as I was only gonna be the new girl once. I just wanted to be easily approachable but at the same time I wanted to show my personality a bit.

Because it was so hot, hotter than I’m used to in England this time of the year, I wore a Joan Jett vest top, some light blue denim shorts, some colourful pumps with no tall heel, and some jewellery. Including the necklace I had since I was born. I don’t know why, but whenever I wear it, I feel some sort of connection to my father. Like he was there. Maybe he was, I don’t know. But it makes me feel safe and protected. I picked up my backpack with a sprinkles pattern on it, and packed what I needed for the day. I then remembered I had my dad’s photograph in my handbag. I quickly tried to find a place to hide it. I decided on this box with a key on the top shelf of my wardrobe. I just hoped mum didn’t have a spare key for it.

I left a note for mum who was still sleeping. Not that I could blame her. I was pretty exhausted from the flight. Nonetheless, I told her I went to school and that I had my phone on me so she could check in. It was an easy school to find anyway. A big building with a white and blue colour scheme. Plus it was only a block or two away.

The receptionist smiled at me as I walked in.

“Hello there.” She said. I’m gonna have to get used to this American accent thing.

“Hi. I’m a new student starting today.” I said.

“Of course! You must be Zalika!” She smiled, shaking my hand.

“Please, call me Ali.” I said with a smile on my face. She’s so cheerful it was infectious.

“Okay Ali, well, I’ll get the principal to come straight away. If you want, you can take a seat right there.” She pointed to this row of blue chairs at the other side of the room. It was busy already. Lots of admin staff were photocopying, shredding, making phone calls. Okay – I didn’t know exactly what they were doing, but that’s what it seemed like.

After watching the staff hard at work for the best part of 5 minutes, my name was called. I looked up to see Principal Redd smiling at me. I smiled back and stood up.

“Come to my office.” He said, gesturing for me to follow him. Which I did. There were tonnes of students walking around, getting to their next class, and just catching up with their friends. Once we reached Principal Redd’s office, I sat down opposite him.

“So, Zalika-“ He began.

“Ali, please.” I said.

“Of course, Ali. I want to make sure you do well here. Your mother and I spoke only briefly on the phone. But I want to hear from you personally. What subjects are you into?” He asked.

“I like creative writing, like making my own stories. But mainly I love performing arts. I want to be an actress some day.” I answered.

“An artist some may say. Okay. You’re a creative type I can see.” He said. Is everyone in the states this cheerful and kind? I hope not. Not because I don’t like being cheerful myself. But because it might get slightly grating.

“That’s okay, right?” I asked.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” He asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t know. It’s just at my old school it was kind of discouraged. And my mum wants me to be able to have a proper career. A job that makes money or something.” I said.

“Well, here we encourage every student’s passion – whatever that may be. I see you’ve passed your latest exams in math, English, science. The core subjects. That’s fantastic!” He said, sticking his thumbs up. I smiled slightly. It wasn’t that easy.

“Yeah.” I said with a convincing smirk on my face.

“Okay. Well, seeing as you passed those exams, I’d be fine letting you do the subjects you choose. But you have to do at least four. So, I’m gonna give you a list, and I hope to see in five minutes you’ve circled the subjects you want to take this year.” He said. I nodded my head. I thought it was gonna be easy.

It wasn’t.

Creative writing was on there, which was great. So was drama and music – my main passions in performing arts. That was good too. But then I had a hard time picking the last. There were a lot to choose from, but none I particularly liked. Gym? No. I’m not exactly a sporty person. Math? Never again. Art? I hate the feeling of pencil on paper. So what should I choose?

“Wait. Is singing separate from music?” I asked, checking over the list.

“Yes, that’s right. Music in the performing arts section is all music, instruments, singing, keeping a beat. Singing is what it says on the tin.” He said. I smiled, circling it.

“Okay. Finished.” I said.

“Fantastic!” He said, sticking his thumbs up again. That’s already getting slightly too peppy for me. I smiled anyway.

“So, I’m gonna ask you to go back to reception where the lovely Mae will print off your timetable. If you have any questions, just ask her. I hope you have a lovely time here.” He said, opening his door again.

“Thank you sir!”

“My pleasure. Be good.” He said. I left to go to the reception, and Mae, the woman who I met before, printed off a brand-new timetable. Singing was first.

“Okay. That’s at the auditorium. You can’t miss it. The big building across campus. Oh, and here!” She said, passing me a note. “It’ll explain who you are and why you’re late to the teacher.” She said.

“Thank you Mae.” I said. I strolled towards the auditorium. It was huge. When I opened the door, a load of faces turned towards me.

“Hi.” I said awkwardly. The teacher walked towards me and I handed her the note. She smiled at me.

“Class, listen up! We have a new student starting today. I want everyone to give her a warm welcome.” She said to the class, who all ended up cheering for me. I giggled.

“What’s your name?” A girl at the back asked.

“Ali Lawson.” I answered.

“Cool. Come sit down.” She said, gesturing towards the seat next to her. I smiled and gladly sat. They seemed nice, but crazy like a bucket of frogs. I think I may fit in well here. “I’m Gen.” She said.

“Okay class settle down!” The teacher said. “I know it’s still the beginning of the year, but we’re all here to learn, right? Now, in case you didn’t know, I’m Miss Markham. I’ve been here for 4 years, and one thing I can’t stand is wasting time.” She said.

“What are we gonna perform this semester?” The guy next to Gen asked.

“Well, I know you guys were begging last year, so we’ll be performing Mad as Rabbits by Panic! At the Disco.” She answered. I turned to Gen.

“Why do I recognise them?” I asked.

“Panic! At the Disco. They’re a band, pretty famous around here because the lead singer lives in this town.” She whispered back. I nodded my head in acknowledgement.

“And were all doing solos!” You can pick a song from the list I hand out. Ali, since you’re new, I’m gonna let you pick first.” Miss Markham said. She handed me quite an extensive list.

“Last Hope by Paramore.” I claimed. I heard a couple of groans, but apart from that, everyone seemed fine with my choice. They must’ve wanted different songs.