Welcome to my Crib

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

this too shall pass

HURRY UP

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

i think there is something to be said about this wave of white women made media that is so surface level with an underlying racist and/or insensitive bias and that refuses to engage with criticism. i'm talking taylor swift's the life of a showgirl, emerald fennell's wuthering heights, colleen hoover, the acotar series and booktok in general, etc. whenever you dare to raise concerns about the superficiality or the questionable writing or the treatment of poc in those pieces you get shut down with a "it's not that deep" or "let women have fun". this weaponisation of misogyny to justify slop made for mass consumption, especially considering how wide spread it is becoming, scares me quite a bit. to quote princess weekes, "the girlypopification of anti-intellectualism" is truly concerning, and i do believe it is linked to the rise of far right movements worldwide. if you refuse to engage with what you are being presented with, and exclusively consume brain smoothing content "for fun" then yeah you do become more susceptible to propaganda. it is that deep.

while we're still alectopaused i'd just like to shout out gideon's personal monkey's paw hell. she has left the ninth house; her father is god; she has been elevated to the highest rank in the cohort; she is untouchable and invulnerable, seeing active combat against sinister foes that lesser warriors couldn't possibly stand against; harrowhark nonagesamis has died or been erased, either way ensuring that she never has to see her again. kiriona gaia has gotten literally everything that she always wanted, and all it cost her was what she found along the way.

Ok u know that like. Period drama shirt. The white shirt men are always wearing in period dramas. The Colin Firth jumps into a lake shirt. Are you visualising this in your mind? Ok now imagine: a butch wearing the shirt. And she has tasteful cleavage. Do you see my vision.