How has nobody taken this yet?

I can’t find the link right now, but somebody suggested that the respawn machines are just special, low distance teleportation devices. As shown in Octo canyon, Octarians have the power to basically defy gravity with their giant floating objects, they have the kettles (which HAVE to teleport- its a floating island, how else would the kettle get you underground?), so something like that isn’t too out of place.

The ink tank also comes with gear that monitors your vitals- namely, your ability to breathe. If anything is obstructing your ability to breathe, then it detects it, and teleports you back to spawn. 

This can happen if you’re either covered in enemy ink, or get submerged in water. It also teleports you back if you leave the area (falling off moray towers, anyone?) or prevents you from getting too close to certain other objects (the enemy’s spawn point). If you’re covered in enemy ink, then when you teleport back, it only teleports you, not the ink- which is what creates the ‘splat’ of the enemy’s color.

wow… i cant believe sakurai said all our squid ocs are canonically in smash 

Oh, Pearl!

She’s been, uh, putting up missing posters everywhere. Strange idea, yes.

Actually, I’ve never looked at them up close..

Salmon Run Tip #260

The grizzco slosher is disliked by most people who play salmon run. This may be because of how slow it is and how much ink it uses. However, the grizzco slosher is extremely useful, you just have to use it efficiently.

The grizzco slosher takes 4 uses to use up the ink tank. A lesser known feature of the grizzco slosher is that despite how slow it is, it can be used almost at fast as a regular slosher. This allows for more efficiency, as you can take down bosses better this way. The grizzco slosher also inks very well, so you wont need to worry about not being able to escape, although you may outswim the path as its inking.

This weapon is extremely good at taking down bosses. It takes about 3 shots to kill a steelhead and you dont even need to aim for the bomb. It takes one direct shot to kill a flyfish, which i see a lot of people throwing bombs rather than using the grizzco slosher to kill it, so please remember this. It pierces through scrapoer and drizzler armor as well. The only boss you may have trouble hitting is the steel eel, as it moves to fast and randomly to be hit by such a straight, slow-moving shot. You can also do quiye a bit of damage to the maws, but it would be more efficent to use a bomb as usual. Stingers can also be taken down quickly, but you have to be at the right range. Remember that the grizzco slosher’s ink eventually falls down, like the sloshing machine. When used properly, the ink can fall directly onto the stinger, quickly taking it down.

Due to its speed, it may not be the best at reviving teammates, so be sure that if you do try to revive teammates that you aim properly, although it does revive them in one indirect hit. If you run out of ink before being able to revive temmates, always try to use your specials. Each slosh prevents your movement, which may make it harder to avoid attacks.