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nix | 28 | they/any | white | queer + disabled | psych + gender studies student who is taking a break
trying on a metaphor
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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2026 studyblr/online journal intro!
nix | 28 | they/any | white | queer + disabled | psych + gender studies student who is taking a break

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Clearly we're all very busy, so let's motivate each other to get through April with a productivity challenge! Here's how it'll work:
Make a tumblr post listing all your goals for April, like this. It can also include a little introduction about yourself.
Use the tag "april days of productivity" for every post.
Starting on April 1st, do one small thing everyday that brings you closer to achieving your goals. You can post about it everyday, or every few days.
Once you've achieved a goal, update the tumblr post from step 1! You can strike through your goal, or anything else to show you're done with it!
On the 30th of April we'll congratulate ourselves for getting through this together! <3
Reblog this post if you'd like to participate, and comment if you have any questions!
you don’t need perfect conditions to start. you just need to start. five minutes of focus is better than waiting for motivation to come.
dark academia dividers pls???
Please credit @pixopix, likes and reblogs are appreciated!

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additionally i think a lot of us remain helplessly dependent on self flagellation and punishment believing it to be discipline/self control because we are not taught to believe that care and deliberate healing and patience and attention are disciplines themselves
• 10.24.2024 •
I’m happiest in October 🧡🍂
some notes from voice lessons 4
voice lessons went well again! for those who don't know, i'm taking voice lessons from the singer of a band i like, which i'm extremely grateful to be able to do. today we finished up the last song she assigned me, slow disco by st. vincent, did a few exercises, and talked about finding ways to enjoy my practice more and how important that is.
first, we started with the stretch and relaxation routine, which we do at the beginning of lessons (and practice). she introduced a few new stretches to do, such as opening your chest toward the sky and rounding your upper back a little. then we talked about how it's important to enjoy your practice and kind of have it as a safe refuge to go to, which has been difficult for me lately. honestly, practice has been stressing me out more and more with time, which is something i really need to work on improving. we then opened the book she asked me to get, the sight-singer (volume 1) by audrey snyder, and did some rhythm exercises with a shaker (or, in my case, a spice bottle). and in the end, i showed her my progress on slow disco, to which she said i was doing well and that the main thing i need to work on (again) is rhythm. so more rhythm exercises for me i guess!
homework: 1) work on finding ways to enjoy my practice more. 2) repeat the warmup/stretches we did in the lesson. 3) practice shaking the shaker and stomping your foot to a 70 BPM metronome. (i'll admit--this sounds really boring.) 4) maybe practice solfege. 5) experiment with exercises in book (around pages 8-11) with a drone and notice what feels easier and what feels more difficult. 6) practice shut up kiss me by angel olsen with a shaker and stomping your foot. start with the shaker and stomping your foot, and when that becomes a little easier, add in singing.
Anyone starting/going back uni in September? Particularly any over 20s? Because I’m 25 and feel so old in this community. Or anyone studying for a masters/postgrad degree? I’m starting my masters degree!
update: december 05, 2024
hello. i'm pretty sure it's been a few months since i've posted here. i'll get straight to the point: i dropped my last class, which means i'm not actively taking classes anymore. this is the continuation of the cycle i've been stuck in of trying to take a class or two and eventually dropping them. i thought this time might be the time i succeed, but i guess not.
it's weird because i was doing okay at first. when i first started college, and for a few years after that, i took up to four classes (since i was still disabled) and got As in all of them. and now i can't even take one without falling very far behind and being unable to catch up.
what changed? it's hard for even me to understand. it feels a lot like some kind of severe burnout that i can't recover from, despite taking a break for years. there's this essay i was hoping to read about how some research is saying many people may not recover from it, as hopeless as that sounds. whatever it is, i'm starting to realize that maybe college isn't for me, at least not anymore, and at least for now.
so what will i do now? i don't know. i've always wanted to work on music stuff, like songwriting and performing, so maybe i'll attempt to spend my time working on that--if i can. (it's been a bit difficult lately.) i also want to continue reading, get back into writing at some point, and maybe do my own studying. i don't know. i guess we'll see.
i don't really know what to do with this blog. i'd have a hard time deleting it, and for all i know, i might return to school at some point. maybe i'll still use it for productivity reasons that aren't related to school for now. maybe i'll use it to keep up with my life.
anyway, here's to life continuing on i guess. i'll try to make the most of it, despite what happens, and i'll try to update this blog when i figure out what i'm planning to do with it.

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09.09.2024—some recent spreads in my hobonichi cousin
[research life]
Literally the second week of school and I’m already swamped with readings and coursework 🥲 But I also did back2school shopping and restocked a bunch of stationary so I’m ready!💅🏻🫶🏻🩷✨
i had my second co-working session with my class today! my instructor was the only one who showed up (again), but i found it really helpful for getting stuff done. my instructor is really nice, too.

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9.3.24
took the L again today; i'm so tired from my traveling. i didn't get much done and didn't do any studying outside of work. BUT --
i did more than nothing at work
the air was nice and crisp so i went on a walk after logging out of work a bit early.
will get em tomorrow!
motivation struggles
i've really been struggling with motivation lately, and it's been making me fall behind. i'm not sure what to do about it. maybe i need to spend less time trying to work and instead spend that time doing things i enjoy? because i'm not getting anything done then anyway. i'm not sure if that would help, and i'm too afraid to check because it's hard to let myself do something enjoyable when i really should be getting things done.