she  glances  off  to  one  side,  noticing  the  draw  of  attention,  and  counters  it  with  a  sweet  smile  like  nothing  was  wrong.  “  okayyyy,  ”  she  practically  sings  through  her  clenched  teeth,  “  you  don’t  have  to  be  such  a  fucking  asshole  about  it.  ”  so  what  if she’d  used  his  little  party  as  an  opportunity  to  network  ?  wasn’t  that  exactly  what  people  like  him  did  at  events  like  that  ?  “  i  thought  you’d  be  happy  for  me.  i  got  to  play  in  a  real  studio.  ”

“at what cost , alba ?” he knew people like that , he grew up around them . sure , it was nice — not having to ask for money , to have everything handed to you , but when his father cut the ties to his trustfund and he had to fend for himself , kaven saw the world for what it was : rotten . shit , maybe he was , too . wiping a hand over his mouth , he doesn’t even bother to shape up in front of everyone . uncaring if this made it on someone’s social , branding the evening as another dramatic end to yet another bullshit seminar . “you’re in over your head .”

open: mutuals.

"why would you ?" he asks , glancing away from her and towards the sea of people that waited for what would happen next . like moths to a flame , this city was built on downfall . "what better way to advance your career than rubbing dicks -- sorry , elbows with someone who can get you there ?"

her  question  reverberated  through  his  mind.  he  knew  she  meant  for  it  to  be  nothing  more  than  a  light  jest,  but  it  reminded  him  of  why  he  was  spiraling  in  the  first  place.  before  she  came  home.  before  they  fought  and  made  up  …  again.  the  amusement  that  had  been  tugging  at  the  corner  of  his  mouth  slowly  faded  away,  and  he  was  left  with  the  same  sense  of  dread  that  he’d  been  desperately  trying  to  drink  away.  “  you’d  be  okay.  ”  half-hearted  attempt  to  sound  sure,  though  he  wasn’t.  in  all  honesty,  he  didn’t  know  what  would  happen  to  her  if  he  wasn’t  around  to  hold  her  together.  historically,  she  wasn’t  the  best  decision-maker.  they  both  knew  that.  it  wasn’t  anything  he  hadn’t  said  directly  to  her  face  on  multiple  occasions.  there  was  never  any  ill  will  behind  the  words,  just  raw  concern.  with  two  dead  parents,  bradley  was  the  closest  thing  he  had  to  family.  she’d  been  around  for  as  far  back  as  he  could  remember.  had  seen  him  at  every  stage  of  life.  every  high  and  low.  she  never  wavered,  not  once.  she’d  earned  the  love  he  felt  for  her  tenfold.  and  now  as  he  stood  here,  watching  her  spoon  the  last  of  the  cereal  from  the  bowl,  he  was  trying  to  find  a  way  to  break  the  news  that  their  time  together  might  just  be  nearing  an  end.  at  least  the  phone  had  stopped  vibrating  long  enough  for  him  to  gather  his  thoughts.  “  i  have  to  tell  you  something.  ” 

smile fades , not saying anything more to his statement . just looks away and pretends like the truth didn't hurt . bradley churchill did a lot of lying in her lifetime . so much so , she couldn't even tell you the truth if she tried . burying her emotion , any ounce of feeling that could dig her grave first . a walking zombie half the time , while the other half remained tied to him : the only person who saw her for her , who didn't run . who never let go . eventually , he would drown beneath the weight of her demise . she knew it early on , but she was selfish when it came to him . always had been . she wouldn't be okay and they both knew it . when he says he has something to tell her , she immediately knows that whatever it is , was bad . otherwise , he would have just told her already . wouldn't test the air between them to see if it was safe enough to drop the bomb . finally managing to glance into his eyes , she nudges him with the side of her foot . "what is it ?"

he pretends not to see her knowing what would come should he offer her even a fraction of attention . a brow arches at her question , stepping up to stand directly in front of her only to reach past and grab a beer from the ice bucket on the counter beside her . " no , " cracking the top of the can , he takes a swig , watching her closely over the aluminum rim . " not sure what for , but i told you so . "

gaze remains locked on his , taking the can out of his position to put her mouth where his was and takes a sip . leaves a pink lipstick mark behind before giving the can back , refusing to make space . “nothing , i guess .” shrugs , “if you don’t know then it doesn’t count .” was better this way than having to indulge in a conversation where he was right and she was wrong . a rare occurrence if you ask her . blue eyes remain wary of his presence , even more so of the company he kept . company that shouldn’t matter . company that doesn’t .

that lands. she can probably tell it lands, even if he doesn't let it show past the slight tightening of his jaw, the way his drink stills halfway to his mouth. "that's a little dramatic, don't you think?" sets his glass down, turning to look at her properly for the first time since he sat down. "i'm not trying to divide our lives into separate lanes, eden. i'm sitting next to you in a bar because i missed talking to you." homme is quiet for a second, picking at the corner of his coaster. "i know what you walked into that night. i'm not oblivious." elliott doesn't say her name, doesn't say anything more specific than that, aware enough of where they are, who might be listening. "but i don't want that to be the thing that changes us. i don't want to sit across from you at a bar and feel like i have to earn my way back in."

"so talk ," she tells him . "you say nothing's changed and it hasn't so why are you making it that way ?" turns to glance over her shoulder at him , playing into the fact that the two of them haven't been normal since hooking up because friends don't do that . worse because there seems to be a discrepancy in the moment they decided it meant more and that was the problem with all of this . it was the elephant they dragged into every room , burying for just a moment before it settled deep in her veins and shook her awake when things fell back again . "i walked in on you getting your dick wet by someone else . it's nothing to be crucified for ." she didn't do well with feelings , partly because anyone who's ever said they gave a damn , provided every reason to confirm why it was a god damn lie . "you're not the only one getting fucked by someone else . we're still the same people we were before you even saw me naked . i don't know what else i can do to prove to you that we're okay ."

it   was   an   accident   ,   unintentional   ,   a   slip   of   the   tongue   — that's   why   he's   here   .   no   other   reason   and   certainly   not   one   that   makes   sense   .   and   as   she   stands   inches   away   ,   wearing   a   dress   that   should   be   a   cardinal   sin   ,   there's   a   lopsided   tilt   to   his   mouth   as   if   she   was   in   the   on   the   same   joke   he   is   .   "   was   in   the   neighborhood   .   "   no   ,   he   wasn't   .   he   lives   twenty   minutes   in   the   opposite   direction   and   they   both   know   it   .   but   he   doesn't   linger   on   the   truth   ,   instead   ,   takes   the   widened   width   of   the   door   as   a   silent   invitation   and   steps   into   the   familiar   space   .   takes   a   glance   around   the   empty   space   ,   searching   for   evidence   of   another   despite   her   lack   of   disheveled   appearance   .   "   slow   night   ?   "   there's   an   implication   in   there   somewhere   ,   lingering   in   the   living   room   and   ignoring   the   pounding   in   his   head   from   all   the   liquor   he'd   indulged   in   an   hour   ago   ,   and   the   abundance   of   lines   he   did   off   a   perky   chest   .   should   probably   have   gone   home   ,   drank   a   gallon   of   water   and   took   four   ibuprofen   ,   but   the   only   thing   that   could   fix   the   spiral   he's   been   in   as   of   late   has   silky   blonde   tresses   and   sequins   clinging   to   her   skin   . 

“why , were you looking to join ?” tosses over her shoulder as bare feet prod against the flooring further into her space where he’s now infiltrated with his presence . the night was still young . all she had to do was pick up the phone and they’d come running . zebra print rug still lined along the hallway , a matching one sprawled under her couch with frames of her face and other fashion icons propped along the wall above their heads . pillows in the shape of letters s-e-x positioned on the cushions . the door closes behind her in the distance after a lazy flick of her wrist , meeting him halfway as gaze tracks and fingertips needle into the hemline of her short dress . “missed me ,” hums with a smile still permanent along the edges of her mouth , daring to reach and run her hand through his hair , feathering down the slope of his jawline and neck . wasn’t a question , but a statement . though she seems pleased , there’s a part of her that is well aware he had left her like everyone else . with the promise that she’ll be better , but she told him that he wasn’t going to change the inevitable . now here they were , back to the beginning . “what was it — the girl you fucked or the party you left ?” that triggered him to come here , reminiscing on their past and all their mistakes combined . indulgences that remain a part of who they were like second skin . thumbs beneath his nostril to collect the left over white residue and grins , sucking on the padding of her finger with a satisfied sigh .

TIMESKIP   /   months   later   .   has   been   off   the   deep   -   end   a   lot   more   often   than   not   recently   ,   finding   himself   making   acquaintance   with   the   bottom   of   a   whiskey   handle   and   as   many   lines   as   nostrils   could   handle   .   it   isn't   a   new   thing   for   him   — but   thinking   of   her   constantly   during   these   episodes   is   .   it   was   a   good   thing   he   did   :   ending   things   between   them   ,   and   somewhere   deep   inside   him   ,   he   really   believes   that   .   is   arguably   one   of   the   only   genuine   ,   selfless   acts   he's   committed   .   which   is   exactly   why   he   has   no   idea   why   ,   when   his   driver   asks   him   where   he'll   be   going   tonight   ,   instead   of   advising   william   to   drive   him   home   ,   he's   giving   the   older   gentleman   her   address   .   has   lost   track   of   time   ,   and   when   they   last   spoke   was   ,   but   it's   been   so   long   that   he's   noticing   the   welcome   mat   outside   her   door   is   different   ,   and   that   the   poorly   watered   plant   out   front   is   gone   .   fist   is   pounding   against   the   door   ,   palm   gripping   the   edges   of   the   door   frame   as   he   stares   at   the   wood   like   it   wronged   him   in   some   way   .   half   expects   some   random   dickhead   to   open   it   ,   so   when   it's   her   ,   eyebrows   shoot   up   in   surprise   then   lower   .   "   hey   .   "

it had been months since she'd last seen dante . it's what he wanted and bridget was nothing , if not a giver ; having always written herself off where others were considered . knowing she couldn't be what they needed and he had seen it in himself , he wasn't good for her though she has easily argued it the other way around . bridget monaco didn't beg , she didn't fight for the things she wanted . she usually got them . and if he wanted to separate himself from her , she knew it was only a matter of time before he found her again . when she opens the front door , she peeks up at him and smiles , "hey ." barefoot with a sequined dress on , you could tell by hair and makeup alone that she'd just gotten home not that long ago . perfect timing . she promised herself tonight would be a chill evening . no extracurricular activities , no trouble left in her wake , but then she saw sasha who saw ben who saw adam then lilah and suddenly all five of them were indulging in the one vice that she could see swimming beneath his eyes , reflected in her own . "get lost on your way home ?" murmurs with a hum , curiosity getting the best of her as door drags open in tandem with inquiries , giving him the silent approval to walk in if he wanted to .

of course he remembered — “ hard not to. ” a faint smile finds him as she says she’s still the same daisy with such effortless conviction that he wants to believe it. perhaps she is. perhaps she’s one of the few people fortunate enough to leave town without letting it calcify around her heart. she carried the same light she’d always possessed while that night at hollow creek had done the opposite to him, stripping away pieces he’d never managed to reclaim. the bartender wanders over and jude answers before he’s even asked. “ vodka cranberry for her. bourbon, neat. ” shortly after, two glasses find the countertop with the absentminded efficiency reserved for regulars. his eyes drift back to her, observing aloud, “ you cut your hair after milan. ” the words escape him before discretion can intercept them, and his brow furrows as he realizes she’d never told him that. he clears his throat, gaze dropping toward the amber liquor settling into his glass, suddenly far more interested in the bourbon than explaining how he’d managed to keep pace with a life he’d only ever witnessed from afar.

"i did ," she beams , glancing down at the edges before looking at him , "do you like it ?" because suddenly his opinion was the only one that mattered . no one else's . has been surrounded by many celebrities in her lifetime , several rockstars growing up .. guys trying to make a band out of their garage go viral because they knew daisy baker had that stardom to her . anything she touched turned to gold . and what should have stripped her of her sunshine , only seemed to prosper it . after her father died , things shifted in her life . she found comfort in her friends , in her hobbies that managed to blossom beneath the weight of her own grief . and then .. the lake took a piece of them she's not sure she'll ever get back , especially jude . he got hit with it the most , having to deal with the reality that he was here and their friend , her boyfriend , wasn't . when the drinks are placed in front of them , she takes a sip to cool the warmth in her throat before swallowing , "i missed you , you know ." finally offers quietly in the space between them , thumb running along the condensation on her glass before she's daring a glance in his direction . "milan wasn't the same without you ." or any place she's visited since .

before reason catches up to him, he simply lets the warmth of her cheek settle against his palm, and it occurs to him how long it’s been since affection arrived without warning instead of obligation. a quiet breath escapes him, nearly a laugh. “ guess not. ” lingers a fraction longer than he’d intended before he eases his hand away. his gaze traces the femme standing before him with something akin to reverence, taking in the polished edges the world had given her, the tiny freckle near her jaw he’d known since they were kids. so much had changed, yet her eyes remained steadfastly, unmistakably daisy. “ never thought i’d run into you here of all places. ” she belonged to an entirely different world now, didn’t she ? he nudges the empty stool beside him out with his boot. “ c’mon. ” his attention drifts toward the bartender. “ still vodka cranberry ? ” the question leaves almost automatically before a brief hesitation finds him. “ .. unless you’ve outgrown that. ”

a warmth expands over her cheeks and chest , running low in her abdomen when touch stays rooted before he moves it away . daisy baker was a lot of things in life , but most of all , she was just looking for a place that didn't alter beneath her feet . jude was the one thing that remained as a constant . someone she could reach for and know was there . "why not ?" takes the chair next to him and sits down , placing her elbows on the countertop . "this place is home . i'll always come back to it , " to you , but she'll keep that part out , not wanting to dabble in the parts of their history they have yet to enter . when he recites her order , she smiles again . this time bigger because she's almost certain there are things he knows about her that she's forgotten herself and that's what made jude so special to her . "you remembered ," counters on a hum , nodding her head to confirm . "i'm still the same daisy , promise ."

he’d heard word that daisy baker was back in charleston, but rumors had a way of outrunning the truth in a town like this. it’s only when her familiar voice cuts cleanly through the haze of cigarette smoke that it’s confirmed, and for one suspended heartbeat, he can only look at her. “ .. daisy. ” she’d always had a way of arriving like daylight through old windows, illuminating corners he’d resigned to dust. “ i– ” rises without thinking, eyes searching her face like he’s making sure she isn’t another trick of faulty recollection. “ so you really are back. ”

"in the flesh ," muses with a smile , glancing up into his eyes when he stands and she does the first thing that comes to mind . she grabs his hand and places it on her cheek so he can feel it for himself , "don't worry , you're not hallucinating ." though one would think considering daisy baker's been in and out of town since the start of her timid career . grateful to have gotten booked for commercial shoots that allowed her to travel the world at the drop of a hat , leaving the people she grew up with behind , if only for a moment . coming back felt good for the most part and seeing him felt better , but there was always that voice in the back of her head that reminded her that a lot has changed for everyone involved .

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