The List. The thing that everyone dreads and tries to forget until the time comes for it to be released. The thing that ruined my life and made me lose anyone I love.Ā The thing that makes me scared to get comfortable because I could be the next one on this list. The list is something created by the government to make room for the new people looking to settle on this island, there isnāt enough space for all of us so they have to kick off random townspeople to make room and make more money.Ā They arenāt always random townspeople, sometimes they are criminals, sometimes they are people who are at risk for losing their house because of money related issues.Ā
Iāve lost family, friends, significant others, due to this list. 3 years ago, I was married, I was happy, I was in love, but that came to a quick halt when she got written up on that list. Itās driven me to not be able to express feelings to others because the next thing I know either Iāll be gone or they will. Last year, the last person I truly cared about that got kicked off the island was my little sister, It broke me, I broke down, I made a promise to myself that I would never let anything happen to her, and I knew I broke my own promise when I saw her name on that list because I know that should have been me.Ā
The island we live on, which I donāt call home because how long will it be home, is actually pretty nice, but itās probably to distract us from the fact we could be gone at any moment, huge beach, stores along the dock, amusement parks, beautiful landscapes, but still doesnāt make it any better.Ā
Today is when the next list comes out, the day that everyone is anxious about, reading the list to make sure theyāre still safe for now. I learned to not let it put stress on me because sooner or later I will get kicked off and strangely I want to be kicked off, thereās nothing for me here anymore and it would just get it over with. I may be homeless when I get to a different land but at least I wouldnāt fear losing everything when I have nothing.Ā
The List. The list is out. I heard people running and talking over each other, I heard people screaming, people crying, people celebrating, I didnāt want to read it, it always gave me a strange pang of fear, but what else did I have to lose. I pushed through the group of people to read it. And there it was. My name. Right at the very top. I said goodbye to my acquaintances and wished goodluck to the other people who were on the list. I boarded the boat with the other passengers and sat with only the clothes on my back in my possession, not knowing where I was going, am I going to find my family on the new land, are they successful on the new land, if I didnāt find them would I be successful? I didnāt know what was coming and I prepared for the worst but secretly hoping for the best to come.
turnnoffyourmind
jimmyeatworldofficial
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
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